In fact, she looked absolutely furious.
d.a.m.n. He was so screwed.
She watched the conflicting emotions flying across Marc"s face and honestly just wanted to slap him. She was not a charity case, nor was she a gold digger. She wanted Marc, not his money. Not what he could give her or make happen for her. Just Marc. So why"d he have to go and screw things up by trying to buy her?
That hurt. She straightened her spine and let go of his hand. "I"m not for sale, Marc. It"s a great idea, but I imagine it"s also an idea you came up with about ten minutes ago, if even that long. You"re better than this, Marc. So am I. Right now? I have work to do."
Turning away, she ignored Marc"s protest and walked back to the entry that would give her access to either the stairs or the elevator to his third floor offices.
She took the stairs, hoping she"d get a chance to work off that unexpected burst of anger. Her unwanted disappointment in Marc.
It was sort of anticlimactic that she had to knock so Theo could let her in. She stood tapping her foot impatiently, hoping like h.e.l.l Marc wouldn"t catch her standing in front of the locked door to his offices.
She was still seething when she settled herself at her desk to go through the rest of the mail that Theo had brought in. Marc didn"t come in for another ten minutes, and by then she was deep into work. She didn"t look up.
Until she had to. He stopped in front of her desk and waited. She was p.i.s.sed, but she couldn"t be rude. It wasn"t in her nature. h.e.l.l, she"d even been polite to Lola"s idiot ex when he showed up at their place with a gun. It had worked, too. He"d put the gun down and surrendered even before the police arrived.
She might not be rude, but she wasn"t usually a pushover, either. She raised her head and looked into those dark brown eyes of his and practically melted. He looked horribly sad, but he"d still really blown it.
"We need to talk," he said. "Will you come into my office for a minute?"
She nodded, saved her work on the computer and followed him into his office. She sat in one of the comfortable chairs in front of his desk, expecting Marc to go around to his chair behind it. He didn"t. Instead, he sat on the edge of the big desk in front of her and stared over his shoulder, gazing out the window with its view of Yerba Buena Island and Treasure Island just north of it. Then he stood, shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked over to the window. He looked terribly lonely standing there, his back to her.
But then, Marc had always appeared to be alone, even when they were together as a group, as if he sat apart from the camaraderie, the connection that came so naturally to the rest of them. That sense had totally disappeared over the past couple of days, but now it was back.
She"d brought him out, watched him come alive, and now it appeared she"d sent him back to that same place in his head. Even so, as much as she thought she needed to say something, anything to make him feel better, she managed to keep her mouth shut. It wasn"t easy.
After a moment, he turned around and faced her, but he was on the opposite side of the room, almost as if he were afraid to come closer. "I want to apologize. And explain." He shook his head and shrugged. "I really have been thinking about you running a cafe or coffee shop for me for quite some time, but you already had a job and the s.p.a.ce was leased. The tenants just asked if they could break the lease a few days ago when another s.p.a.ce opened up that would fit their business better. Of course I said yes. It"s not hard to find a tenant in this economy, but I really did already have the idea I tossed at you today."
"Marc, I..."
He held up a hand. "No. I need to say this. Please." He sighed, glanced away, and then focused on her again. "This past couple of months have been the best in my entire life. I"ve had Jake for years, but I never expected the rest of you." He walked across the office, stopped in front of her chair and squatted down until they were at eye level. "I never expected you, Mandy. The first time I saw you, I was totally blown away, but I had all this c.r.a.p in my background. I still do, which is why I haven"t been totally honest with you. I love you, Mandy. I think I"ve loved you from the very beginning."
She sucked in a breath. This wasn"t what she"d expected him to say. Not this at all, but he was slowly shaking his head, looking away now.
He turned back to her, took her hands in his, studied their entwined fingers for a moment before raising his head, looking into her eyes. "I love you so much it just fills me up, but I only realized it after the hypnosis therapy. It was too soon, my mind was a wreck ... I couldn"t say anything. I"ve been afraid you didn"t feel the same way, that you wouldn"t want to hang around until I got this c.r.a.p in my life all straightened out. But I thought that if you had a vested interest in something of mine, in a business here in my building, that you"d at least have to stay until we got all the questions answered. That"s why I brought it up today. I was hoping you"d agree so that you"d have to stay."
He laughed, but there wasn"t a bit of humor in the sound. "I"d have your name on a contract. I thought that would keep you here even if you didn"t want to stay for me."
She thought of that little boy in his parents" bedroom, what he"d witnessed. The lonely, horrible life he"d led, and all of it made perfect sense. Jake had made a similar comment, how Marc had convinced him to invest in the Intimate Winery. It wasn"t because Marc needed the money. He needed to know that Jake had a reason to stick around other than their friendship.
Still hanging on to his hands, Mandy stood, pulling Marc to his feet. "Marc, I love you so much, but I couldn"t understand why you were interested in me at all. I"m just an unemployed barista with nothing to offer. You"re ... you"re Marcus Reed-you have everything going for you. I"m..."
"You"re the most important thing I don"t have, Mandy."
"Marc, you"ve always had me." She laughed at the look on his face. "When you moved in, I had the feeling everyone was pushing you at me and you weren"t interested, so I backed off. I hated to think they were making you uncomfortable, but you know how it is when couples are all paired up. They want everyone in pairs."
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "I wondered if that"s what was going on, but you were really good at playing my FWB."
"FWB?" She laughed. "As much as I wanted it, we were not "friends with benefits.""
He laughed and kissed her. "No, it also means "friends without benefits." That"s changed, but I wasn"t sure how you felt about me. I really do want you to manage a coffee shop downstairs, Mandy, but now, knowing what I know about my mother, what happened to her, I want to do it a bit differently. The ladies who run the temp service train and hire women from a shelter. I"d like to do that same thing-hire women who need work because they"ve been in a bad situation. I know you and Kaz and Lola have looked into various shelters, researching the memorial for the woman and her child who were killed in Ben and Jake"s accident so long ago. Now that I know what happened to my mother, I have a vested interest in getting even more involved with anyone trying to protect women in danger. I want to lend my support to whatever shelter you choose, but I would also like to have a business that could offer employment to women in an abusive situation. Maybe even childcare here as well. There"s a lot of this building we"re not using. Think about it, please? It really would mean a lot to me."
"So it"s not an offer you made because you feel sorry for me?"
He shook his head and pulled her close. "Far from it. Why would I ever feel sorry for you? You"re the strongest woman I know. You have everything that"s important. A great att.i.tude, a sister who loves you, friends who love you just as much. You give so much joy to everyone around you, just by being you."
There was no stopping the tears. Not when he looked at her like that, when his voice sounded so deep and emotional-when his dark eyes glittered as if maybe he was dealing with a few tears himself.
A few moments later, he cupped her shoulders and held her away, far enough to look into her eyes. "What do you say we take a few days and head up to Dry Creek Valley to the winery? Take care of some of that stuff that Jake and Kaz want us to do? I"ll check with Ca.s.sie and Nate, make sure we can use either the apartment above the tasting room or Ca.s.sie"s little guest cottage. We"ll check with some of the caterers, look into booking a musician, maybe even a small band or a deejay for music for dancing. Does that work for you?"
"Can you just leave?"
"I can. I pay Theo well and I think he prefers it when I"m not here." He glanced over her shoulder as if checking to make sure his business manager wasn"t lurking. "He says I tend to meddle."
She didn"t even try not to laugh. "Ya think? Personally, I think it"s a great idea. I"ll see if Jasper and Abdul can take Rico. They live a couple of doors down and they"ve watched him before. He even has his own pillow in their sunroom, so it shouldn"t be a problem. When do you want to go? I can be done here by about three."
"That works. I"ll let Theo know he"s captain of the ship. And I think I"ll have him set up Ted"s office. I have a feeling Agent Robinson will be here sooner rather than later."
Mandy had Rico settled with Abdul and Jasper and their calico cat, Sheba, on the pillow in their sunroom by three thirty. She and Marc were packed and on the road by four, though the traffic was awful. Mandy called while Marc drove to let Ca.s.sie, the winemaker, and her husband Nate, the vineyard manager, know when to expect them. She caught Ca.s.sie as she was making a run into town for groceries.
"Your timing"s perfect," she said. "I"ll stock the refrigerator in the cottage so you"ll at least have snacks and breakfast stuff. In fact, I"ll make you a deal-I"ll even add real food if you guys will pick up Mexican on your way out here. Can you do that?"
Mandy laughed and turned the phone on speaker. "I can hear you salivating. Are chili rellenos good for pregnant moms to be?"
"They are for this one. You know what we like, right?"
Mandy went over the list of their favorites, wrote everything down to make sure she didn"t forget, and settled back in her seat while Marc dealt with the late afternoon traffic from San Francisco to Healdsburg.
She"d only met Ca.s.sie a couple of times, but she and Nate were already a couple of Mandy"s favorite people. Ca.s.sie"s father was the one who"d started the winery Marc now owned. It was originally called Tangled Vines back in the mid-eighties, but advancing Alzheimer"s had led to some bad financial decisions, and by the time Ca.s.sie realized the trouble her father had gotten them into, they were verging on bankruptcy.
That"s when Marc had stepped in and bought the vineyards and winery, renaming it Intimate Wines, but keeping Ca.s.sie on as winemaker. He"d hired a new vineyard manager, Nate Dunagan, from a large winery along the central coast of California. Nate was now Ca.s.sie"s husband, and they were expecting their first child.
Marc had deeded a small plot of grapes and both the family house and guesthouse back to Ca.s.sie when she and Nate were married, which kept the Tangled Vines wines alive.
Marc wasn"t able to spend much time at the place, not as much as Mandy was sure he wanted, so this totally unexpected visit was a rare chance for both of them to enjoy the beautiful wine country and actually relax for a few days. Relax while checking out caterers, bands, and anything else Kaz and Jake needed for their wedding.
"We"re going to have to look into security, too. Ben"s going to be busy as a groomsman." Marc smiled when he said that. Jake had asked Marc to serve as best man. Even Ben had agreed. Marc had been here for Jake while his older brother Ben was soldiering around the globe.
"We"ll need someone to deal with the paparazzi." Mandy cracked up when she said it, but it was true. Kaz"s fame had exploded across the country with two high-profile advertising campaigns, her nationally covered kidnapping and heroic rescue, and her sa.s.sy sense of humor. She"d become quite a media star in a very short time, with talk of movie deals and lots of gossip mag coverage. "I never once imagined having to worry about paparazzi," Mandy said, "but I bet they"ll be even worse after this Italy trip."
"You never know. Just be glad we don"t live in LA." Marc glanced at Mandy and she laughed at the forlorn expression on his face.
"I take it you had to deal with that after the People article came out?"
"Oh, yeah. Like an idiot I agreed to go down for a couple of interviews. Never again. I like my peace and quiet-and anonymity-a lot."
By the time they reached the vineyard with a couple of bags filled with Mexican food-which Mandy thought looked like enough for an army but Marc a.s.sured her was just about right for the four of them-the sun had gone behind the western hills and the valley was bathed in shadows.
Marc opened the car door for Mandy and helped her carry the bags up the steps to the house. Ca.s.sie met them at the door-a much larger Ca.s.sie than when he"d seen her last month. "Wow. You"ve grown."
Laughing, she opened the door wide and stood aside for the two of them. "That I have, and no, there"s only one in there. A very big one, I think."
Nate walked out from the back of the house, grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator, and handed it to Marc. "What"s scary is that she"s still got three months to go."
"It"s going to be a long summer, my love." She tilted her head and kissed his chin, and then she and Mandy got the food out of the bags and the silverware on the table.
Nate handed a gla.s.s of wine to Mandy. "Since the pregnant lady isn"t drinking, she wants all of us to suffer."
"Thank you for the rescue." Mandy held her gla.s.s high. "Here"s to little whatsit and a perfectly wonderful future for the entire Dunagan clan."
Marc and Nate raised their bottles of beer, Mandy sipped her wine, and Ca.s.sie merely sighed and stared at her gla.s.s of ice water. Then she glanced at Nate. "Birth control, Nathan. That"s what this no-drinking policy is. It"s a subversive form of birth control."
It was a long time before Marc fell asleep. Mandy slept soundly beside him, her nude body warm and damp from the sweat of their exertion, while his mind spun its usual circles as he wound down before sleep. He"d learned he couldn"t force memories, but he wondered if thinking about things before he fell asleep might help push his dreams in the direction he wanted them to take.
Mandy turned toward him in her sleep. She tucked her cheek against his throat and curled her fingers in the trail of hair heading downward from his stomach. Her intimate touch brought a bit of life back to his neglected d.i.c.k. He lay there, sort of reveling in the knowledge that he loved Mandy, that she loved him, and they could make love anytime they wanted.
Well, any time within reason. She was absolutely exhausted tonight, but she"d caught up on everything in the office, and they"d had more than enough emotional stuff over the past twenty-four hours to wear anyone out. He needed answers and he wanted them now-patience was definitely not one of his better qualities. He wasn"t going to learn anything new unless he actively went looking for it. With that thought in mind, he drifted, forcing himself to think of that last night in his parents" bedroom. Wondering what happened next.
The dream was so vivid he thought he was awake and actually remembering something he"d thought forgotten. At some point his conscious mind surfaced enough to convince him that no, this was merely a dream, but a dream he"d requested, in a way.
And once again he was that terrified little boy trying to understand what was happening.
He"d been hiding behind the bed for so long, but he thought now might be a good time to sneak back to his own bed. Mommy would come in and wake him in the morning, and everything would be okay. Well, as okay as it could be with Daddy so angry all the time. He started to crawl out of the room when the worst thing ever happened.
"Where the h.e.l.l do you think you"re going, Marcus? Get back in here. Now."
He was shivering. Shivering and shaking so hard he could barely stand, but he knew better than to disobey. Daddy had started spanking him a few weeks ago with his big leather belt instead of his hand, and it hurt. A lot. But he stood very still while Daddy stared at him. Well, still except for the shaking. He waited for Daddy to start yelling but when he talked, he was even scarier. His voice was really quiet and sort of flat, but he told Marcus to get dressed and wait in his room. Even though it was the middle of the night! Then he said, "We have to go for a ride."
He remembered getting in the back seat of Daddy"s big car, but he must have fallen asleep, because he thought he heard Mommy talking to him, but all she said was that she loved him and that she would always love him. He already knew that. Silly Mommy.
The next thing he remembered, Daddy was turning the car onto another dark road, but this one was b.u.mpy. When they stopped, there weren"t any lights or houses around. There was barely any light from the moon, and he was afraid. Was Daddy going to leave him here? He"d been asleep on the back seat, and he didn"t even have his seatbelt on. Mommy never let him in the car without it, but he heard a noise and peeked out the back window. The trunk was open and the light inside it was on. He saw Daddy take a shovel out and lean it against the car. Then he lifted a bundle of something heavy over his shoulder that was wrapped in the comforter off Mommy and Daddy"s bed. He picked up the shovel too, and walked down a little trail. Marc watched him through the side window, but it was steamy, so he rolled it down, but Daddy heard him. He stopped, turned around, and stared at Marc. "Stay in the car," he said. "Roll that window up, and don"t get out."
Marc waited in the car for a long time. He must have fallen asleep again, because he heard the trunk slam shut, and then Daddy was getting back in the car.
"I have to go peepee," he said. "But it"s dark."
Daddy said a bad word, but he got out and opened the door for him and told Marc to go right there. There was enough light from inside the car to show that he peed on the side of a big rock that had a tree growing out of one side. Then he got back into the back seat, but this time he put his seatbelt on. He felt a lot braver, now that he wasn"t worried about wetting his pants, so he asked Daddy a question. "Why did we come here?"
"I had to take care of some garbage," his father said. "I buried some stinking garbage."
They drove again, and the road was really b.u.mpy. Then they turned onto a smoother road. Later, he remembered a bridge that was way up high, and lights in a valley that seemed a lot lower than the bridge they crossed, but it was dark out here on this road. He must have fallen asleep again, because he didn"t have any more memories. None at all.
Marc thought he"d only slept for a few minutes, but when he blinked and finally opened his eyes, sunlight was streaming through the blinds over the bedroom windows, and Mandy was coming out of the bathroom. Her hair was all wet and slicked back from her face and she didn"t have on a bit of makeup. She wore one of his T-shirts, but nothing else.
His heart thudded in his chest, but he figured it had to pump like crazy to fill up his suddenly engorged d.i.c.k. Amazing how that worked. Just like that, he was h.o.r.n.y and hard and almost desperate to hold her. She could do all that to him with nothing more than a smile.
Mandy was amazing. She was absolutely beautiful, and she was smiling just for him.
She crawled across the bed, leaned close, and kissed him. She tasted of toothpaste and s.e.x, and he wanted her. Now.
Straddling him, she leaned forward and kissed him again, this time with tongue and teeth and lips, with her hands stroking his chest, her thighs clasped tightly against his hips, and the hot center of her planted firmly on his erection.
When he finally came up for air, they were both grinning like fools. "Can we arrange for this kind of wake up every morning?" he said. "It works really well for me."
She raised up and set his c.o.c.k free before settling back down with it rising between her legs. "I sort of got that feeling. It looks a bit naked, though." She reached for a condom, stared at it a moment, but then she handed it to him. "The last time I put one on you, it broke. I think you better do the honors. Which reminds me. Sat.u.r.day it"ll be a week since that sucker broke. I"ll do a pregnancy test then to be sure, but I think we"re fine."
He kept his mouth shut, though in the back of his mind he kept imagining her with his child growing inside. She"d stay for sure, then. He raised his eyes and watched her watching him when he grabbed the packet, opened it, and suited up. No. He wanted her to choose to stay with him out of love, not because of a child. And not because of some stupid business contract, but because she loved him too much to leave.
Still, the thought of one day making love to her without any barrier between them was his greatest fantasy of the moment, but neither of them was ready for that yet. He knew that time was coming, though. He could wait until it was the only choice they had. For now, this was truly amazing, and once he was covered, he palmed Mandy"s b.u.t.t and slowly settled her back over his highly impatient d.i.c.k.
She wiggled a bit to get everything where it belonged, and then she just sat there. Clenching and releasing her inner muscles.
d.a.m.n. She felt absolutely wonderful, her sheath warm and so tight, the rippling clench of all those feminine muscles doing absolutely amazing things to him. He groaned and raised his hips, lifting her, going as deep inside her as was physically possible, and then he just held her there with his back arched and his d.i.c.k planted. Mandy supported herself on her knees, but those rhythmic contractions never ceased.
They weren"t moving their bodies at all, but his b.a.l.l.s had clenched up tight between his legs and a sheen of sweat covered his body. Then an absolutely magnificent thing happened. Mandy climaxed. He hadn"t moved, but she"d climaxed merely from flexing those amazing muscles around his erection. Her back arched, her fingers tightened on his forearms and she cried out as he clasped her hips and drove into her, thrusting hard and fast, following some inner need to claim her now, to remind her that she belonged to him.
That she would always be his.
His own climax hit harder than he"d ever experienced, a deep welling of sensation, a shocking connection that shot from his spine to his b.a.l.l.s and practically exploded from him. Mandy folded over, bending at the waist and lying across his chest while his hips continued an involuntary thrust and retreat long after he"d reached his own peak and moved well beyond.
He wrapped his arms around her, held her close against his thundering heart, realized he"d started to doze off, that Mandy was still limp in his embrace. He kissed her lips, her cheek, the curve of her jaw. "You okay, babe?"
"Hmmm. Oh, yeah. Definitely okay." She raised her head and he had to admit, the glazed expression in her eyes, her lips swollen from his kisses, the rosy flush across her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and throat, were a rush all on their own.
She certainly looked like a well-loved woman.
He hoped she felt that way as well, because every time they came together, he knew it would never, ever be enough.
Mandy left her window down, well aware that her hair was going to be a mess by the time they got where they were going, wherever that was. Marc had said he wanted to take a ride this morning, but instead of heading toward town, he"d taken the road that curved up the hill just west of the dam at Lake Sonoma.
In fact, he took it quite fast in his sleek little Tesla, while wearing a huge grin on his face, but there was no traffic and the sky was a perfect robin"s egg blue. They reached a point where a left would eventually take them to the coast, and straight ahead would go out Rockpile Road.
Marc paused at the stop sign, then went straight.
"Where are we going?"
He shook his head. "I"m not sure, but I had another dream last night, a really different one, and something about this road feels familiar to me."