"Let me see," she said.
She looked at my neck and rubbed the area that had the lump.
"I want your father to see this," she said concerned.
We went into the back of the house where my father was shaving.
"Honey," my mother called to my father, knocking at the bathroom door.
My father opened the door with shaving cream still on his face where he hadn"t shaved.
"What is it? I"m shaving," he said.
"Whitney has a lump on the back of her neck and I wanted you to look at it," my mom said.
"Let me wash my hands," Dad said.
He washed and dried his hands and brought me over to the light in the bathroom.
He felt the lump, which was starting to hurt because my mom and dad kept touching it.
"Wow, Whitney, how long have you had this?" he asked me.
"I don"t know. I just felt it last night," I said.
"I don"t like how big it is," my father said and I started to cry.
"Aw, sweetie, it is going to be okay. We will take you to the doctor. It is going to be fine," my dad said, hugging me and getting shaving cream in my hair.
"Let"s let your father finish shaving and I will try to make a doctor"s appointment," my mom said.
My mom and I left my parents" bathroom and went into the kitchen. I sat down on one of the chairs.
My mom got out her phone book and called the doctor. She waited on the line for an emergency nurse. She said, into the phone, that she had a semi-emergency and would like to see the doctor today with her daughter. She had to explain the lump and describe it.
"Did you ever have a mole back there?" my mom asked me.
"I don"t know, I never felt back there," I said.
"She doesn"t know if she had a mole on her neck but she wears her hair up sometimes, and I never noticed a mole," my mom said into the phone.
I guess the nurse on the phone thought the lump was serious because she made an appointment for that day to see Dr. Sherrill, I liked him so I was glad.
"I guess you are staying home today," my mom said.
I was glad about not going to school, but nervous about the doctor.
I called Chanda and told her about my lump. I told her she could go with my dad still if she wanted a ride to school. She thanked me and said she would be right over as soon as she was dressed.
When Chanda came over, she immediately wanted to see my neck, but first she had to pet Gretchen. Finally, Gretchen was satisfied that Chanda was part of our extended family and she lay down and thumped her tail on the floor. She even rolled over for Chanda to give her a tummy rub, which she did.
I showed my neck lump to Chanda.
"I never noticed this before. We were just looking at bathing suits a little while ago and you would think I would have noticed something of this size," she said.
"I never felt it before either," I said.
My dad asked Chanda if she was ready to go and she said she was ready as she would ever be, we all smiled.
My appointment was at ten" o clock so I went to bed. I had forgotten to take Gretchen out to potty, so I had to get up and take her. After she was finished and had eaten, I let her back in. I was really nervous so I stayed up and watched cartoons.
I got dressed around nine and then when nine-thirty rolled around, Mom said we may as well go.
I had put my hair in a ponytail so the doctor could easily see the lump.
My mom had already driven the boys to school so I didn"t have to hear their usual chatter that would have made me more nervous. My mom and I left to go and I had b.u.t.terflies in my stomach.
"Don"t be nervous, sweetheart, it is probably nothing."
"I don"t know why there is a lump though," I said.
"Well, we will find out soon," she said pulling into the doctor"s parking lot. She found a spot and parked.
I opened the door and shut it and waited for her to lock the car door. We walked up to the doctor"s office and opened the doctor"s door.
The nurse sitting at the front desk smiled at us. I smiled back. My mom signed me in and we sat down.
After about an hour, they finally called my name. By that time, I was biting my nails.
The nurse who called me, weighed me. I had gained about five pounds. That made me upset because I had thought I wasn"t eating that much with the stalker bothering me. She also took my temperature and I didn"t have a fever. She led us to a room and told me to sit on a bed that had a paper sheet on it. My mom sat down in the chair beside it and she took my blood pressure and said it was a little high. I told her I was nervous and She said they would take it again before I left.
She asked why we were there and my mom told her about the lump on my neck. The nurse was the only one who didn"t look at it. She thanked us and said the doctor would be right in and she left.
"I hope he hurries," I said.
"Try and read a magazine so you will calm down. I am worried about your blood pressure, now," Mom said.
I took a boring golf magazine off the magazine rack in the room. I was scanning the pages when there was a slight knock at the door.
My mom and I both said, "Come in."
Dr. Sherrill was a man about fifty or so and he had gray hair and was very tall.
He came in and sat on a stool that goes up and down.
"Whitney, it says here in the chart that you have a lump on your neck," he said.
"Yes," I said.
"I would like to look at it," he walked over and washed his hands.
The doctor came over to me where I was sitting on the bed. He asked what area was a concern for me. I turned my head and showed him the back of my neck. He looked at the area, and then he prodded it.
"This is definitely a lump," he said.
"Yes," I said.
"Do you know if you ever had a mole back here?" he asked me.
"I don"t think so," I said.
"I am going to be honest with you. I don"t like the looks of this. I also don"t like the way it feels," he said.
"Do you think it is cancer?" my mom asked, scared.
"I cannot tell anything just by touching it. I need to go in and do a biopsy. I think we will remove the whole thing. There is no reason to have a lump on your neck," the doctor said.
"Will I have to have surgery?" I asked.
"Yes. I will have my nurse make an appointment for me to do it. I am a surgeon, so don"t be afraid," he said.
I knew Dr. Sherrill was also a surgeon, but I didn"t care until now, I was kind of dazed, I had never had surgery before, I even still had my tonsils.
The doctor thanked us and told us to see Eve, his nurse, and she would make all the arrangements. He left the room.
I got off the bed and my mom hugged me.
"It"s going to be all right," she said.
I didn"t know if she was telling me or herself.
We went out and saw Eve. She said the doctor wanted to do the biopsy as soon as possible so we made the appointment for the next day. She told me to be sure and wash my hair and take a shower the next morning.
I said I would, feeling kind of insulted. I always showered in the morning unless I had something weird going on.
My mom thanked Eve and we left. We always go to McDonald"s after a doctor appointment, but I wasn"t hungry and neither was my mom.
Mom asked me if I wanted to go to school and I said, "I feel like going back to bed, if that is okay."
"I understand," my mom said.
When we got back home, I had a message on my landline voicemail, and the person said, "Where are you?" in a creepy voice.
"Mom, it"s happening again!"
"The stalker?"
"Yeah, he said, *Where are you?"" I was so upset and Mom was, too.
"Don"t delete the message, in case we need to play it for the police."
"Fine." I didn"t feel like dealing with the stalker today so I just turned off my phone in my room and turned off my cell phone, too.
I got Gretchen out of the back yard and she went and immediately laid on her bed. I shut my door and crawled into my bed. I was asleep in a minute.
My mom woke me for dinner and I was starving. She had made my favorite: macaroni and cheese with hot dogs cut up in it I thanked her and ate a good helping.
The boys were quiet at dinner so I knew my mom had told them about my biopsy. I wasn"t supposed to eat or drink after midnight. I looked at the clock. It was five "o clock. I had seven hours to drink water. I was really nervous about the surgery. I didn"t know too much about it. We had gotten a pamphlet from the doctor so I decided to find it and read about it. I found the pamphlet and on the front it said, "Biopsies are not scary." I begged to differ. I was scared out of my wits.
The first page showed a lot of b.o.o.bs. I guess most biopsies were for women who had lumps in their b.r.e.a.s.t.s, not lumps in their necks. I decided to not show my brothers this. I didn"t want them to get the wrong idea about my surgery. The pamphlet said they might put me to sleep or they might just give me a local anesthesia in the area where the lump was. I hoped that is what they would do. I was afraid to go to sleep on the operating table, I was afraid I would never wake up.
My father came home while I was reading the pamphlet he wasn"t too thrilled with dinner, but after he heard the news about the biopsy, he stopped complaining about eating little kids" food. My dad said he would take the day off work for me. I said that was okay, my mom was going to take me. He looked a little hurt. I knew his job was really important and if he missed a day, it wouldn"t look good.
I had trouble sleeping that night. I kept getting up and drinking water until midnight. Then I would have to go to the bathroom a little while later. Finally, around one o" clock in the morning, I fell asleep beside Gretchen on her bed.
CHAPTER SIX.
My mom woke me up at six a.m. I was startled. I had been having horrible dreams.
I didn"t tell her I had had a bad dream because I knew she would blame it on me sleeping on the floor with my arm around Gretchen. Lately, that had been the only way I could sleep at night. I took a shower and washed my hair. I blow dried my hair. I liked the way my brown hair looked when I blew dry it, but it was such a pain to dry because of such curly, thick hair. I put my hair in a ponytail. I quickly put on some sweat pants and a tee shirt the pamphlet had said to wear loose clothing.
My dad was going to take the boys to school because we had to be at the surgery center at seven.
My dad kissed me goodbye and prayed for me. I thanked him when he was finished. He kissed me on the forehead and said that everything was going to be all right. I believed him, a little bit.
My mom and I got in the car and we drove to the surgery center where Dr. Sherrill was going to meet us. The center was next door to the doctor"s office so that was convenient for him.
When we got there, my mom asked me if she could pray for me, too and I said yes. My mom usually prayed these beautiful long prayers, but today she just prayed a short prayer, I could tell she was nervous, too.
We walked up to the surgery center and Eve the nurse was there, I was kind of glad to see her, she was a familiar face.
I sat down while my mom filled out some papers for the surgery. I wanted to ask Eve if they were going to put me to sleep, but I was afraid of the answer. Eve asked me what I had eaten that morning and I said nothing. I guessed that was a trick question. She smiled and wrote it down. She asked me when was the last time I had had water and I said around midnight.
After all the paperwork was finished she asked me to come back to the pre-surgery room to change into a hospital gown. After I changed, they put in an I.V. which hurt like the d.i.c.kens, but I didn"t flinch. I just wanted to get this over with.
When the I.V. nurse left, my mom said she was proud of me, I smiled wanly, I knew this might be the beginning of some pain.
Dr. Sherrill came in busily, he asked me if anyone explained what we were doing and I said I had read the pamphlet. He explained to my mom and I that they were going to localize the area with anesthesia and take the lump out while I was awake.
Now that I had the I.V., which hurt, I was wondering how he was going to numb my neck. I asked him and he said he would give me a series of shots until I didn"t feel any pain. He said I would be on a chiropractic table so I could breathe through the hole in the bottom and I wouldn"t feel any pain, only a little tugging. I felt like throwing up. I was glad I hadn"t eaten. I told the doctor I was afraid, so he said that he would have the anesthesiologist give me something for nerves. He said they would put it in my I.V.
A nice-looking doctor came in and said he was the anesthesiologist, Dr. Lindsor. He said he was going to give me something that would make me not so nervous and it would also make me sleepy. I was really glad because I was on ultra-alert right now. About a minute after he put something in my I.V., I felt sleepy and more relaxed I think it was a miracle drug. They wheeled me on my bed down to the operating room. My mom had to say goodbye at the door. She kissed me and said she loved me. I told her I loved her, too.