Irium

"Hmm …" Danny looks at me with a contemplative smile, "It"s been a long time."

"For what?" I ask.

"For you to make an anime reference." He smiles as he says that.

"Oh, that. Yeah, I guess. I haven"t exactly been in the mood to make a lot of them."

"Fair enough." He says and turns back to look at the road.

These past few days have probably been one of the worst days I have ever lived. How can you expect me to make anime references when that is the case? Still though, saying that the past few days have been one of the worst makes it sound like things have gotten better. In truth, they haven"t. They have grown worse in fact. The proof of that is the fact that the road seems like it"s moving backwards. When does the road look like it"s moving backwards? It happens when you move forward. And by moving forward, I don"t mean that in a good way. I mean that in a really, really bad way.

"How long are you going to stare at the road like an idiot?" Danny asks while staring at the road like an idiot.

"You are the one who has been staring at it like an idiot." I say while staring at the road like an idiot.

"Hah!" he sighs and says with a deadpan expression, "For your kind information, it was your staring that made me start staring."

"Hah!" I sigh and say with a deadpan expression, "For your kind information, it was your staring that made not want to stop staring."

"Okay buddy, you were giving me flack before for copying your lines." He yells like the Klein rip-off he is, "Who is copying whose lines now?"

"I haven"t exactly been copying them." I say while ignoring him like the Kirito I am, "I have been doing some innovations with them."

He looks at me disappointedly. Anyway, it"s good to see him acting like Klein again. It is kinda jarring to see him acting like a not-so-stupid character whenever anything serious is going on and return to being Klein whenever seriousness is on temporary hiatus. Still, it"s quite convenient.

And, by the way, if all that talk about road moving backwards didn"t make it clear, we are on a train.

Since this is 1856, it wouldn"t have even been 5 years since trains started in India. As such, we couldn"t really find any pa.s.senger trains here. We had to get on a luggage carrier. If some official finds out about this, it"ll be bad. But, for better or for worse, no one will find out. That"s all thanks to the little hypnotic suggestion that Danny knows.

"You know, man," I say as I look at the sky, "Sometimes it feels like you are someone worth respecting."

"…"

"I mean, think about it, you have actually contributed a bit in all that has happened in the past 4 days."

"Irium," Danny looks at me as he says, "go die!"

"Ha!?"

"What do you mean "Ha!?" You b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" He starts yelling at me like an anime character, "I am the one who has been contributing something or other in every part of every arc."

"OBJECTION!"

"Ha!?"

"Every part of every arc except the first part of first arc." I correct him.

As he hears that, he grabs me by the collar and start shaking me like I am some kind of toy and says, "Fine, with that exception, I have been contributing somewhat in every single thing."

"HOLD ON!"

"Ha?"

"You have been contributing in every part except the first one, but not in every single thing. You had no contribution in me kissing Roswaisa."

"How? It was done to make me jealous."

"True enough, monsieur. But even if there was someone else there who wanted a piece of her that badly, I would have done the same thing. You particularly didn"t really matter there."

"Tsk! Fine!" He yells as he starts shaking me by the collar again, "Now with all that said and done, you are only NOW realizing that you should respect me!?"

"Uh, yes!"

"You b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" I can see tears forming in his eyes as he says, "And here I was thinking that I was gaining some respect from you. But no, it was just you doing whatever the b.l.o.o.d.y heck you wanted to when you weren"t in the mood to joke around and now that you are in it …"

"OBJECTION!"

"Ha!?"

"I am not exactly in the mood to joke, I am only indulging myself in this activity to keep my sanity."

"Fine!" he starts yelling again, "Now that you are joking for whatever reason there is to do it, you again stop respecting me. Am I that unimportant?"

SLAP!

"What was that for?" Danny says with tears in his eyes.

"You fool!" I stand up and look down on the peasant on the floor (the floor of the train of course) and say, "Even if you are just a half-weeb, I would still expect you to know that importance and respect do not necessarily go together."

"Go where?"

"Uh, I don"t know. But NOT IMPORTANT, PEASANT!" I yell as coolly as possible (regardless of whether yelling coolly is even possible) "Respect and importance are two different things entirely. One can gain more respect by people if he attacks giant, naked Teletubbies while spinning like a beyblade than being the main character of the story."

The main character is obviously more important to the story but the guy who spins like a beyblade and attacks giant Teletubbies is the one people love more. Why? Because he"s cooler. And THAT is what respect is all about. It"s about being cool.

"Irium, you" as he basks in my glory, Danny says, "said half of that only in your monologue. I couldn"t hear it."

"Wait! I did what now!?" and only then do I realize my blunder. I started it like it was an epic speech but the most important part was left in the monologue.

THAT b.a.s.t.a.r.d OF AN AUTHOR!

"I also realized something else just now." Danny says calmly.

"What!? What can possibly be more important than dissing that author!?" There can be nothing more important than making sure he goes in bed while crying like a b.i.t.c.h.

"We missed the place we were supposed to jump off the train from."

"…"

"…"

"s.h.i.t!"

*****