"No, Mom."
"Do you realize I"ve been worried sick about you?" She waited vainly for an answer. "Well, I"ll talk to you afterward, young man. First, you"re taking a bath, and every st.i.tch of your clothing is being thrown out. Mekkano!"
But the mekkano had already reacted properly to the phrase "taking a bath" and was off to the bathroom in its silent glide.
"You take your shoes off right here," said Mrs. Hanshaw, "then march after mekkano."
Richard did as he was told with a resignation that placed him beyond futile protest.
Mrs. Hanshaw picked up the soiled shoes between thumb and forefinger and dropped them down the disposal chute which hummed in faint dismay at the unexpected load. She dusted her hands carefully on a tissue which she allowed to float down the chute after the shoes.
She did not join Richard at dinner but let him eat in the worse-than-lack-of-company of the mekkano. This, she thought, would be an active sign of her displeasure and would do more than any amount of scolding or punishment to make him realize that he had done wrong. Richard, she frequently told herself, was a sensitive boy.
But she went up to see him at bedtime.
She smiled at him and spoke softly. She thought that would be the best way. After all, he had been punished already.
She said, "What happened today, d.i.c.kie-boy?" She had called him that when he was a baby and just the sound of the name softened her nearly to tears.
But he only looked away and his voice was stubborn and cold. "I just don"t like to go through those dam Doors, Mom."
"But why ever not?"
He shuffled his hands over the filmy sheet (fresh, clean, antiseptic and, of course, disposable after each use) and said, "I just don"t like them."
"But then how do you expect to go to school, d.i.c.kie?"
"I"ll get up early," he mumbled.
"But there"s nothing wrong with Doors."
"Don"t like "em." He never once looked up at her.
She said, despairingly, "Oh, well, you have a good sleep and tomorrow morning you"ll feel much better."
She kissed him and left the room, automatically pa.s.sing her hand through the photo-cell beam and in that manner dimming the room-lights.
But she had trouble sleeping herself that night. Why should d.i.c.kie dislike Doors so suddenly? They had never bothered him before. To be sure, the Door had broken down in the morning but that should make him appreciate them all the more.
d.i.c.kie was behaving so unreasonably.
Unreasonably? That reminded her of Miss Robbins and her diagnosis and Mrs. Hanshaw"s soft jaw set in the darkness and privacy of her bedroom. Nonsense! The boy was upset and a night"s sleep was all the therapy he needed.
But the next morning when she arose, her son was not in the house. The mekkano could not speak but it could answer questions with gestures of its appendages equivalent to a yes or no, and it did not take Mrs. Hanshaw more than half a minute to ascertain that the boy had arisen thirty minutes earlier than usual, skimped his shower, and darted out of the house.
But not by way of the Door.
Out the other way-through the door. Small "d."
Mrs. Hanshaw"s visiphone signaled genteelly at 3:10 p.m. that day. Mrs. Hanshaw guessed the caller and having activated the receiver, saw that she had guessed correctly. A quick glance in the mirror to see that she was properly calm after a day of abstracted concern and worry and then she keyed in her own transmission.
"Yes, Miss Robbins," she said coldly.
Richard"s teacher was a bit breathless. She said, "Mrs. Hanshaw, Richard has deliberately left through the fire door although I told him to use the regular Door. I do not know where he went." Mrs. Hanshaw said, carefully, "He left to come home." Miss Robbins looked dismayed. "Do you approve of this?" Pale-faced, Mrs. Hanshaw set about putting the teacher in her place. "I don"t think it is up to you to criticize. If my son does not choose to use the Door, it is his affair and mine. I don"t think there is any school ruling that would force him to use the Door, is there?" Her bearing quite plainly intimated that if there were she would see to it that it was changed.
Miss Robbins flushed and had time for one quick remark before contact was broken. She said, "I"d have him probed. I really would."
Mrs. Hanshaw remained standing before the quartzinium plate, staring blindly at its blank face. Her sense of family placed her for a few moments quite firmly on Richard"s side. Why did he have to use the Door if he chose not to? And then she settled down to wait and pride battled the gnawing anxiety that something after all was wrong with Richard.
He came home with a look of defiance on his face, but his mother, with a strenuous effort at self-control, met him as though nothing were out of the ordinary.
For weeks, she followed that policy. It"s nothing, she told herself. It"s a vagary. He"ll grow out of it.
It grew into an almost normal state of affairs. Then, too, every once in a while, perhaps three days in a row, she would come down to breakfast to find Richard waiting sullenly at the Door, then using it when school time came. She always refrained from commenting on the matter.
Always, when he did that, and especially when he followed it up by arriving home via the Door, her heart grew warm and she thought, "Well, it"s over." But always with the pa.s.sing of one day, two or three, he would return like an addict to his drug and drift silently out by the door-small "d"-before she woke.
And each time she thought despairingly of psychiatrists and probes, and each time the vision of Miss Robbins" low-bred satisfaction at (possibly) learning of it, stopped her, although she was scarcely aware that that was the true motive.
Meanwhile, she lived with it and made the best of it. The mekkano was instructed to wait at the door-small "d"-with a Tergo kit and a change of clothing. Richard washed and changed without resistance. His underthings, socks and flexies were disposable in any case, and Mrs. Hanshaw bore uncomplainingly the expense of daily disposal of shirts. Trousers she finally allowed to go a week before disposal on condition of rigorous nightly cleansing.
One day she suggested that Richard accompany her on a trip to New York. It was more a vague desire to keep him in sight than part of any purposeful plan. He did not object. He was even happy. He stepped right through the Door, unconcerned. He didn"t hesitate. He even lacked the look of resentment he wore on those mornings he used the Door to go to school.
Mrs. Hanshaw rejoiced. This could be a way of weaning him back into Door usage, and she racked her ingenuity for excuses to make trips with Richard. She even raised her power bill to quite unheard-of heights by suggesting, and going through with, a trip to Canton for the day in order to witness a Chinese festival.
That was on a Sunday, and the next morning Richard marched directly to the hole in the wall he always used. Mrs. Hanshaw, having wakened particularly early, witnessed that. For once, badgered past endurance, she called after him plaintively, "Why not the Door, d.i.c.kie?"
He said, briefly, "It"s all right for Canton," and stepped out of the house.
So that plan ended in failure. And then, one day, Richard came home soaking wet. The mekkano hovered above him uncertainly and Mrs. Hanshaw, just returned from a four-hour visit with her sister in Iowa, cried, "Richard Hanshaw!"
He said, hang-dog fashion, "It started raining. All of a sudden, it started raining."
For a moment, the word didn"t register with her. Her own school days and her studies of geography were twenty years in the past. And then she remembered and caught the vision of water pouring recklessly and endlessly down from the sky-a mad cascade of water with no tap to turn off, no b.u.t.ton to push, no contact to break.
She said, "And you stayed out in it?"
He said, "Well, gee, Mom, I came home fast as I could. I didn"t know it was going to rain."
Mrs. Hanshaw had nothing to say. She was appalled and the sensation filled her too full for words to find a place.
Two days later, Richard found himself with a running nose, and a dry, scratchy throat. Mrs. Hanshaw had to admit that the vims of disease had found a lodging in her house, as though it were a miserable hovel of the Iron Age.
It was over that that her stubbornness and pride broke and she admitted to herself that, after all, Richard had to have psychiatric help.
Mrs. Hanshaw chose a psychiatrist with care. Her first impulse was to find one at a distance. For a whik, she considered stepping directly into the San Francisco Medical Center and choosing one at random.
And then it occurred to her that by doing that she would become merely an anonymous consultant. She would have no way of obtaining any greater consideration for herself than would be forthcoming to any public-Door user of the city slums. Now if she remained in her own community, her word would carry weight- She consulted the district map. It was one of that excellent series prepared by Doors, Inc., and distributed free of charge to their clients. Mrs. Hanshaw couldn"t quite suppress that little thrill of civic pride as she unfolded the map. It wasn"t a fine-print directory of Door co-ordinates only. It was an actual map, with each house carefully located.
And why not? District A-3 was a name of moment in the world, a badge of aristocracy. It was the first community on the planet to have been established on a completely Doored basis. The first, the largest, the wealthiest, the best-known. It needed no factories, no stores. It didn"t even need roads.
Each house was a little secluded castle, the Door of which had entry anywhere the world over where other Doors existed.
Carefully, she followed down the keyed listing of the five thousand families of District A-3. She knew it included several psychiatrists. The learned professions were well represented in A-3.
Doctor Hamilton Sloane was the second name she arrived at and her finger lingered upon the map. His office was scarcely two miles from the Hanshaw residence. She liked his name. The fact that he lived in A-3 was evidence of worth. And he was a neighbor, practically a neighbor. He would understand that it was a matter of urgency-and confidential.
Firmly, she put in a call to his office to make an appointment.
Doctor Hamilton Sloane was a comparatively young man, not quite forty. He was of good family and he had indeed heard of Mrs. Hanshaw.
He listened to her quietly and then said, "And this all began with the Door breakdown."
"That"s right, Doctor."
"Does he show any fear of the Doors?"
"Of course not. What an idea!" She was plainly startled.
"It"s possible, Mrs. Hanshaw, it"s possible. After all, when you stop to think of how a Door works it is rather a frightening thing, really. You step into a Door, and for an instant your atoms are converted into field-energies, transmitted to another part of s.p.a.ce and reconverted into matter. For that instant you"re not alive."
"I"m sure no one thinks of such things."
"But your son may. He witnessed the breakdown of the Door. He may be saying to himself, "What if the Door breaks down just as I"m half-way through?""
"But that"s nonsense. He still uses the Door. He"s even been to Canton with me; Canton, China. And as I told you, he uses it for school about once or twice a week."
"Freely? Cheerfully?"
"Well," said Mrs. Hanshaw, reluctantly, "he does seem a bit put out by it. But really, Doctor, there isn"t much use talking about it, is there? If you would do a quick probe, see where the trouble was," and she finished on a bright note, "why, that would be all. I"m sure it"s quite a minor thing."
Dr. Sloane signed. He detested the word "probe" and there was scarcely any word he heard oftener.
"Mrs. Hanshaw," he said patiently, "there is no such thing as a quick probe. Now I know the mag-strips are full of it and it"s a rage in some circles, but it"s much overrated."
"Are you serious?"
"Quite. The probe is very complicated and the theory is that it traces mental circuits. You see, the cells of the brains are interconnected in a large variety of ways.~ Some of those interconnected paths are more used than others. They represent habits of thought, both conscious and unconscious. Theory has it that these paths in any given brain can be used to diagnose mental ills early and with certainty."
"Well, then?"
"But subjection to the probe is quite a fearful thing, especially to a child. It"s a traumatic experience. It takes over an hour. And even then, the results must be sent to the Central Psychoa.n.a.lytical Bureau for a.n.a.lysis, and that could take weeks. And on top of all that, Mrs. Hanshaw, there are many psychiatrists who think the theory of probe-a.n.a.lyses to be most uncertain."
Mrs. Hanshaw compressed her lips. "You mean nothing can be done."
Dr. Sloane smiled. "Not at all. There were psychiatrists for centuries before there were probes. I suggest that you let me talk to the boy."
"Talk to him? Is that all?"
"I"ll come to you for background information when necessary, but the essential thing, I think, is to talk to the boy."
"Really, Dr. Sloane, I doubt if he"ll discuss the matter with you. He won"t talk to me about it and I"m his mother."
"That often happens," the psychiatrist a.s.sured her. "A child will sometimes talk more readily to a stranger. In any case, I cannot take the case otherwise."
Mrs. Hanshaw rose, not at all pleased. "When can you come, Doctor?"
"What about this coming Sat.u.r.day? The boy won"t be in school. Will you be busy?"
"We will be ready."
She made a dignified exit. Dr. Sloane accompanied her through the small reception room to his office Door and waited while she punched the coordinates of her house. He watched her pa.s.s through. She became a half-woman, a quarter-woman, an isolated elbow and foot, a nothing.
It was frightening.
Did a Door ever break down during pa.s.sage, leaving half a body here and half there? He had never heard of such a case, but he imagined it could happen.
He returned to his desk and looked up the time of his next appointment. It was obvious to him that Mrs. Hanshaw was annoyed and disappointed at not having arranged for a psychic probe treatment.
Why, for G.o.d"s sake? Why should a thing like the probe, an obvious piece of quackery in his own opinion, get such a hold on the general public? It must be part of this general trend toward machines. Anything man can do, machines can do better. Machines! More machines! Machines for anything and everything! O temporal O mores!
Oh, h.e.l.l!
His resentment of the probe was beginning to bother him. Was it a fear of technological unemployment, a basic insecurity on his part, a mecha-nophobia, if that was the word- He made a mental note to discuss this with his own a.n.a.lyst.
Dr. Sloane had to feel his way. The boy wasn"t a patient who had come to him, more or less anxious to talk, more or less anxious to be helped.
Under the circ.u.mstances it would have been best to keep his first meeting with Richard short and noncommittal. It would have been sufficient merely to establish himself as something less than a total stranger. The next time he would be someone Richard had seen before. The time after he would be an acquaintance, and after that a friend of the family.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Hanshaw was not likely to accept a long-drawn-out process. She would go searching for a probe and, of course, she would find it.
And harm the boy. He was certain of that.
It was for that reason he felt he must sacrifice a little of the proper caution and risk a small crisis.
An uncomfortable ten minutes had pa.s.sed when he decided he must try. Mrs. Hanshaw was smiling in a rather rigid way, eyeing him narrowly, as though she expected verbal magic from him. Richard wriggled in his seat, unresponsive to Dr. Sloane"s tentative comments, overcome with boredom and unable not to show it.
Dr. Sloane said, with casual suddenness, "Would you like to take a walk with me, Richard?"
The boy"s eyes widened and he stopped wriggling. He looked directly at Dr. Sloane. "A walk, sir?"
"I mean, outside."
"Do you go-outside?"
"Sometimes. When I feel like it."
Richard was on his feet, holding down a squirming eagerness. "I didn"t think anyone did."