Chapter 95
Jack of all Trades – 95Post navigationThe Day That I First Killed A Man
With a flash of dark blue, the bandit’s torso goes flying . A shocking amount of bright blood sprays from the stump . The sensation is very different from when I cut through monsters, and I immediately feel my stomach turn and I have to forcefully suppress the urge to vomit . I keep moving forward, as if turning my back on reality .
“Haghh…gg…d.a.m.n…d.a.m.n it…!”
I felt like I was the one who was about to fall . I had been murdered myself, and here I was now, killing others . Even if it was to protect myself and others, a certain self-loathing and despair now clutched my core and would not let go . It would not release me .
“You! You little s.h.i.t!!”
One of the bandits looked at his fallen comrade and charged at me with an expression of unconcealed rage . I used Legs of the Forest Wolf to jump in the air and avoid him . And from that position, I used the momentum of my fall to slash down . He tries to block the attack with his sword, but it’s no use, and his blade shatters upon impact .
“Uhhhggg…!!”
His groan is almost inhuman, like a ghost . I was finding it hard to maintain the mentality that all of this served a purpose . No matter how much I tried, tried to switch gears, tried to stop thinking . It was what it was .
I couldn’t shut down . I wasn’t prepared for this . And so I swung my sword with the sole intent of defending myself . It was the right thing to do in a way . However, I couldn’t stop seeing it as wrong .
‘Unnecessary killing is evil…but that is why this is necessary…it is necessary…’
I repeat Daniela’s words in my head in order to stay aware . I held onto those words as I continued to swing, and eventually, there was no one left standing, except for Daniela and I, who were both drenched in blood .
“Ughh…aghhgghh…:
I couldn’t hold it back any longer, and it all came rushing out of my gut . The truth of what I had done . The truth that I had killed .
“Hahh…hahh…!”
I crawl away on my hands and knees as if escaping from that weight . And the first thing I met as I moved away, was that severed torso of the first bandit I had killed .
“Ah, hah… . AAHHHH!!”
“Asagi!”
I heard her voice, but that was the last thing I heard as I lost all awareness .
“I am sorry, we should have helped you sooner…”
“No…please… It is a miracle that I am still alive like this…”
The girl in front of me had tears in her eyes as she held a man whose chest had been pierced by a sword . Likely her father… He had apparently been stabbed before we arrived . The girl looked up with glistening eyes and bowed .
“Thank you, for saving me…”
“It is fine . Are you hurt?”
“No, I am fine… Is, is your companion alright…?”
She said with uncertainty as she saw his face as I carried him .
“Aye . Today was his first time killing a man… It was an unavoidable situation, but it was still a lot for him . I think that his heart could not take it . However, he is a strong man . He will surely recover . ”
Yes, Asagi . The man that I loved would surely become well again .
Asagi had come from a world that forbade any killing . He had been nearly broken from just killing monsters . He had held onto those words that I had given him, about needless killing being evil . So what would happen when a man like that killed another man? The answer was obvious .
And so I had planned on accepting a bandit suppression quest one day . It would be a day when Asagi had grown completely accustomed to this world, when his heart had become strong . However, when bandits had appeared in front of us like this, I could not turn a blind eye just for his sake . I pulled out my bow and so pulled him into this fight .
Asagi’s heart is still weak . He has only recently grown accustomed to the act of ending a life . And those have only been monsters . It is a foreign mentality for me, as someone whose parents were killed by monsters, and as someone who has made a living off of hunting them, but I can understand it to a degree . After all, I fear dragons . And there will come a time when I must overcome that fear . When that time comes, I hope to have a stronger Asagi there, protecting my back as I challenge the beast .
“I understand…I am so sorry, just for us…no, just for me…”
“Do not be bothered by it . A life has been saved . Asagi will be happy about that . ”
As one travels, being fooled by others is, well, common . I am no exception . There were even times when my body was nearly defiled . And in those times, I have killed people .
That feeling, when you desperately stretch out your hand, grasp that shortsword and plunge it into your enemies chest . It hits against hard bone . I remember frantically taking a second stab . Those memories will never disappear . And if they will not disappear, you must accept them .
Those were necessary actions taken to protect myself . I had to do it . It was their fault for tricking me . I killed because I was about to be killed .
I averted my eyes like that for a while, but the feeling of guilt took a strong hold of me and would not let go .
And so I accepted it . All of that happened . However, it is because of those actions, that I am here today . Because of those actions, I was able to meet him .
I sincerely hope that this child who survived will become a salve to ease his heart . Not I, who is loved by Asagi, but the girl who he helped . She is the one who can save him .
It’s so dark . Dark . A darkness without light spreads before my eyes . Does it go on forever? Or does it stop in front of my nose? I don’t know .
But I can sense that something is moving within that darkness . I didn’t notice it at first . But my eyes slowly grew used to the darkness, and then I realized that it was a moving corpse that was only a torso .
“Aghhh!!”
I screamed with horror and thrashed about in an attempt to escape . But I couldn’t move .
“d.a.m.n you…you killed meee…”
A low, low voice that seemed to sound from the deepest depths reached my ears .
“I had no choice…It was you who were attacking…!”
“It hurts…it hurts… . ”
The bandit used its arms to crawl up to my feet .
“Stop . Stop . Don’t come any closer!”
“Stop . Stop . Don’t come any closer!”
“Oooooooo… . . ”
The thing that was moaning had now grabbed my foot . And it was crawling upwards .
“Hah…hhh…”
It grabbed my clothes as it climbed up my body, and when it was finished, the thing wrapped its arms around my neck . It’s jaw now lay on my shoulder . The sounds of its breathing brought a sense of dread as it said:
“But you will face the same fate . ”
“Aggghhhhhh!!!”
When I realized that I was shouting, I was in the same field of blood that I had been in before pa.s.sing out . In a panic, I looked at my surroundings until finally understanding the situation .
“Good morning, Asagi . ”
“Uh…ah…mor…ning…”
Though I was stuttering, we exchanged the same greeting that we always did after waking up . And then I realized that Daniela was carrying me .
“Sorry…I can walk now . ”
“Are you sure? I do not mind carrying you . ”
I immediately knew that she was not just talking about me, but about what I was harboring . After all, we were deeply in love and of one heart and one mind…heh . Even making jokes like that did little to raise my spirits .
“Um, are you alright…?”
A voice suddenly called from behind me . I looked behind me to see a young girl looking up at me with concern .
“Who…are you…?”
“I am called Marie Elle . Thank you for helping me . ”
“I am called Marie Elle . Thank you for helping me . ”
Someone was alive then… So there was someone that had survived because I killed them…
Daniela slowly put me down . My legs still shook, and I immediately fell to my knees .
The girl who had survived, Marie Elle, stood in front of me . A small girl . Her dark brown hair was covered in a spray of blood . The way she held her hands in front of her with uncertainty made her look even smaller .
I stretched out a shaking hand and touched her dark brown hair .
It was warm . I could feel the warmth . It reached a heart that had been chilled by blood . When I felt that warmth, tears began to flow .
“This child, Asagi . You saved her . ”
“I…”
“Yes . You fought to save others, to save lives . You fought, and you survived because you won . And it is because of that that Marie Elle is here, living . ”
“Living . ”
I hear that word and then look at the girl in front of me . She must have looked so concerned up until now because she was worried about me . Now she smiled gently .
“It is because of you that I am alive . Please do not blame yourself . ”
“Ah…ah…”
It was wretched, but what I couldn’t express after hearing those words, came out as a sound . And when the words finally did come out, I embraced her tightly .
“Thank you…for living…thank you…”
That was all I could do . Repeatedly thank her for being alive .
This grat.i.tude that I felt, took over my whole body, and before I knew it, the shaking in my limbs had subsided . Still, I could not stand . I surrendered myself as Marie Elle’s hand gently held me, and I wept .
Jack of all Trades – 95 Post navigation .
The Day That I First Killed A Man.
With a flash of dark blue, the bandit’s torso goes flying . A shocking amount of bright blood sprays from the stump . The sensation is very different from when I cut through monsters, and I immediately feel my stomach turn and I have to forcefully suppress the urge to vomit . I keep moving forward, as if turning my back on reality
.
“Haghh…gg…d.a.m.n…d.a.m.n it…!”.
.
I felt like I was the one who was about to fall . I had been murdered myself, and here I was now, killing others . Even if it was to protect myself and others, a certain self-loathing and despair now clutched my core and would not let go . It would not release me
.
“You! You little s.h.i.t!!”.
.
One of the bandits looked at his fallen comrade and charged at me with an expression of unconcealed rage . I used Legs of the Forest Wolf to jump in the air and avoid him . And from that position, I used the momentum of my fall to slash down . He tries to block the attack with his sword, but it’s no use, and his blade shatters upon impact
.
“Uhhhggg…!!”.
.
His groan is almost inhuman, like a ghost . I was finding it hard to maintain the mentality that all of this served a purpose . No matter how much I tried, tried to switch gears, tried to stop thinking . It was what it was
I couldn’t shut down . I wasn’t prepared for this . And so I swung my sword with the sole intent of defending myself . It was the right thing to do in a way . However, I couldn’t stop seeing it as wrong
.
‘Unnecessary killing is evil…but that is why this is necessary…it is necessary…’.
.
I repeat Daniela’s words in my head in order to stay aware . I held onto those words as I continued to swing, and eventually, there was no one left standing, except for Daniela and I, who were both drenched in blood
.
“Ughh…aghhgghh…:.
.
I couldn’t hold it back any longer, and it all came rushing out of my gut . The truth of what I had done . The truth that I had killed
.
“Hahh…hahh…!”.
.
I crawl away on my hands and knees as if escaping from that weight . And the first thing I met as I moved away, was that severed torso of the first bandit I had killed
.
“Ah, hah… . AAHHHH!!”.
“Asagi!”.
.
I heard her voice, but that was the last thing I heard as I lost all awareness
.
□ □ □ □.
.
“I am sorry, we should have helped you sooner…”.
“No…please… It is a miracle that I am still alive like this…”.
.
The girl in front of me had tears in her eyes as she held a man whose chest had been pierced by a sword . Likely her father… He had apparently been stabbed before we arrived . The girl looked up with glistening eyes and bowed
.
“Thank you, for saving me…”.
“It is fine . Are you hurt?”.
“No, I am fine… Is, is your companion alright…?”.
.
She said with uncertainty as she saw his face as I carried him
.
“Aye . Today was his first time killing a man… It was an unavoidable situation, but it was still a lot for him . I think that his heart could not take it . However, he is a strong man . He will surely recover . ”.
.
Yes, Asagi . The man that I loved would surely become well again
.
Asagi had come from a world that forbade any killing . He had been nearly broken from just killing monsters . He had held onto those words that I had given him, about needless killing being evil . So what would happen when a man like that killed another man? The answer was obvious
.
And so I had planned on accepting a bandit suppression quest one day . It would be a day when Asagi had grown completely accustomed to this world, when his heart had become strong . However, when bandits had appeared in front of us like this, I could not turn a blind eye just for his sake . I pulled out my bow and so pulled him into this fight
.
Asagi’s heart is still weak . He has only recently grown accustomed to the act of ending a life . And those have only been monsters . It is a foreign mentality for me, as someone whose parents were killed by monsters, and as someone who has made a living off of hunting them, but I can understand it to a degree . After all, I fear dragons . And there will come a time when I must overcome that fear . When that time comes, I hope to have a stronger Asagi there, protecting my back as I challenge the beast
.
“I understand…I am so sorry, just for us…no, just for me…”.
“Do not be bothered by it . A life has been saved . Asagi will be happy about that . ”.
.
As one travels, being fooled by others is, well, common . I am no exception . There were even times when my body was nearly defiled . And in those times, I have killed people
.
That feeling, when you desperately stretch out your hand, grasp that shortsword and plunge it into your enemies chest . It hits against hard bone . I remember frantically taking a second stab . Those memories will never disappear . And if they will not disappear, you must accept them
.
Those were necessary actions taken to protect myself . I had to do it . It was their fault for tricking me . I killed because I was about to be killed
.
I averted my eyes like that for a while, but the feeling of guilt took a strong hold of me and would not let go
And so I accepted it . All of that happened . However, it is because of those actions, that I am here today . Because of those actions, I was able to meet him
.
I sincerely hope that this child who survived will become a salve to ease his heart . Not I, who is loved by Asagi, but the girl who he helped . She is the one who can save him .
It’s so dark . Dark . A darkness without light spreads before my eyes . Does it go on forever? Or does it stop in front of my nose? I don’t know
.
But I can sense that something is moving within that darkness . I didn’t notice it at first . But my eyes slowly grew used to the darkness, and then I realized that it was a moving corpse that was only a torso
.
“Aghhh!!”.
.
I screamed with horror and thrashed about in an attempt to escape . But I couldn’t move
.
“d.a.m.n you…you killed meee…”.
.
A low, low voice that seemed to sound from the deepest depths reached my ears
.
“I had no choice…It was you who were attacking…!”.
“It hurts…it hurts… . ”.
.
The bandit used its arms to crawl up to my feet
.
“Stop . Stop . Don’t come any closer!”.
“Oooooooo… ”.
.
The thing that was moaning had now grabbed my foot . And it was crawling upwards
.
“Hah…hhh…”.
.
It grabbed my clothes as it climbed up my body, and when it was finished, the thing wrapped its arms around my neck . It’s jaw now lay on my shoulder . The sounds of its breathing brought a sense of dread as it said:.
.
“But you will face the same fate . ”.
.
“Aggghhhhhh!!!”.
.
When I realized that I was shouting, I was in the same field of blood that I had been in before pa.s.sing out . In a panic, I looked at my surroundings until finally understanding the situation
.
“Good morning, Asagi . ”.
“Uh…ah…mor…ning…”.
.
Though I was stuttering, we exchanged the same greeting that we always did after waking up . And then I realized that Daniela was carrying me
.
“Sorry…I can walk now . ”.
“Are you sure? I do not mind carrying you . ”.
.
I immediately knew that she was not just talking about me, but about what I was harboring . After all, we were deeply in love and of one heart and one mind…heh . Even making jokes like that did little to raise my spirits
.
“Um, are you alright…?”.
.
A voice suddenly called from behind me . I looked behind me to see a young girl looking up at me with concern
.
“Who…are you…?”.
“I am called Marie Elle . Thank you for helping me . ”.
.
Someone was alive then… So there was someone that had survived because I killed them….
Daniela slowly put me down . My legs still shook, and I immediately fell to my knees
.
The girl who had survived, Marie Elle, stood in front of me . A small girl . Her dark brown hair was covered in a spray of blood . The way she held her hands in front of her with uncertainty made her look even smaller
.
I stretched out a shaking hand and touched her dark brown hair
.
It was warm . I could feel the warmth . It reached a heart that had been chilled by blood . When I felt that warmth, tears began to flow
.
“This child, Asagi . You saved her . ”.
“I…”.
“Yes . You fought to save others, to save lives . You fought, and you survived because you won . And it is because of that that Marie Elle is here, living . ”.
.
“Living . ”.
.
I hear that word and then look at the girl in front of me . She must have looked so concerned up until now because she was worried about me . Now she smiled gently
.
“It is because of you that I am alive . Please do not blame yourself . ”.
“Ah…ah…”.
.
It was wretched, but what I couldn’t express after hearing those words, came out as a sound . And when the words finally did come out, I embraced her tightly
.
“Thank you…for living…thank you…”.
.
That was all I could do . Repeatedly thank her for being alive
.
This grat.i.tude that I felt, took over my whole body, and before I knew it, the shaking in my limbs had subsided . Still, I could not stand . I surrendered myself as Marie Elle’s hand gently held me, and I wept
.