But to be his wife--the wife of a--Horrible!"
"Have you forgotten, Claudia, that only a few minutes ago you said that you could not conceive of a diviner happiness than to be the beloved wife of Ishmael?"
"No, I have not forgotten it! And I spoke the truth! but that joy which I could so keenly appreciate can never, never be mine! And that is the secret of my madness--for I am mad, Bee! And, oh, I came here to-night with my torn and bleeding heart--torn and bleeding from the dreadful battle between love and pride--came here with my suffering heart; my sinful heart if you will; and laid it on your bosom to be soothed; and you have taken it and flung it back in my face! You have broken the bruised reed; quenched the smoking flax; humbled the humble; smitten the fallen! Oh, Bee, you have been more cruel than you know! Good-by!
Good-by!" And she turned and flung herself out of the room.
"Claudia, dear Claudia, oh, forgive me! I did not mean to wound you; if I spoke harshly it was because I felt for both! Claudia, come back, love!" cried Bee, hurrying after her; but Claudia was gone. Bee would have followed her; but little Lu"s voice was heard in plaintive notes.
Bee returned to the room to find her little sister lying awake with wide-open, frightened eyes.
"Oh, Bee! don"t do! and don"t let she tome bat. She stares Lu!"
"Shall Bee take Lu up and rock her to sleep?"
""Es."
Bee gently lifted the little one and sat down in the rocking-chair and began to rock slowly and sing softly. But presently she stopped and whispered:
"Baby!"
""Es, Bee."
"Do you love cousin Claudia?"
""Es, but she wates me up and stares me; don"t let she tome adain, Bee."
"No, I will not; but poor Claudia is not happy; won"t you ask the Lord to bless poor Claudia? He hears little children like you!"
""Es; tell me what to say, Bee." And without another word the little one slid down upon her knees and folded her hands, while Bee taught the sinless child to pray for the sinful woman.
And then she took the babe again upon her lap, and rocked slowly and sung softly until she soothed her to sleep.
Then Bee arose and rustled softly about the room, making her simple toilet before going to the saloon to join the guests.
CHAPTER LXV.
ISHMAEL"S WOE.
And with another"s crime, my birth She taunted me as little worth, Because, forsooth, I could not claim The lawful heirship of my name; Yet were a few short summers mine, My name should more than ever shine, With honors all my own!
--_Byron_.
Ishmael sat in the shadows of his room overwhelmed with shame and sorrow and despair. He had heard every cruel word; they had entered his ears and pierced his heart. And not only for himself he bowed his head and sorrowed and despaired, but for her; for her, proud, selfish, sinful, but loving, and oh, how fatally beloved!
It was not only that he worshiped her with a blind idolatry, and knew that she returned his pa.s.sion with equal strength and fervor, and that she would have waited for him long years, and married him at last but for the cloud upon his birth. It was not this--not his own misery that crushed him, nor even her present wretchedness that prostrated him--no!
but it was the awful, shapeless shadow of some infinite unutterable woe is Claudia"s future, and into which she was blindly rushing, that overwhelmed him. Oh, to have saved her from this woe, he would gladly have laid down his life!
The door opened and Jim, his especial waiter, entered with two lighted candles on a tray. He sat them on the table and was leaving the room, when Ishmael recalled him. What I am about to relate is a trifle perhaps, but it will serve to show the perfect beauty of that nature which, in the midst of its own great sorrow, could think of the small wants of another.
"Jim, you asked me this morning to write a letter for you, to your mother, I think."
"Yes, Master Ishmael, I thank you, sir; whenever you is at leisure, sir, with nothing to do; which I wouldn"t presume to be in a hurry, sir, nor likewise inconvenience you the least in the world."
"It will not inconvenience me, Jim; it will give me pleasure, whenever you can spare me half an hour," replied Ishmael, speaking with as much courtesy to the poor dependent as he would have used in addressing his wealthiest patron.
"Well, Master Ishmael, which I ought to say Mr. Worth, and I beg your pardon, sir, only it is the old love as makes me forget myself, and call you what I used to in the old days, because Mr. Worth do seem to leave me so far away--"
"Call me what you please, Jim, we are old friends, and I love my old friends better than any new distinctions that could come between us, but which I will never allow to separate us. What were you about to say, Jim?"
"Well, Master Ishmael, and I thank you sincere, sir, for letting of me call you so, I was going for to say, as I could be at your orders any time, even now, if it would suit you, sir; because I have lighted up all my rooms and set my table for dinner, which it is put back an hour because of Master Walter, who is expected by the six o"clock train this evening; and Sam is waiting in the hall, and I aint got anything very partic"lar to do for the next hour or so."
"Very well, Jim; sit down in that chair and tell me what you want me to write," said Ishmael, seating himself before his desk and dipping his pen in ink.
Yes, it was a small matter in itself; but it was characteristic of the man, thus to put aside his own poignant anguish to interest himself in the welfare of the humblest creature who invoked his aid.
"Now then, Jim."
"Well, Master Ishmael," said the poor fellow. "You know what to say a heap better"n I do. Write it beautiful, please."
"Tell me what is in your heart, Jim, and then I will do the best I can,"
said Ishmael, who possessed the rare gift of drawing out from others the best that was in their thoughts.
"Well, sir, I think a heap o" my ole mother, I does; "membering how she did foh me when I was a boy and wondering if anybody does for her now, and if she is comfortable down there at Tanglewood. And I wants her to know it; and not to be a-thinking as I forgets her."
Ishmael wrote rapidly for a few moments and then looked up.
"What else, Jim?"
"Well, sir, tell her as I have saved a heap of money for her out"n the presents the gemmen made me o" Christmas, and I"ll bring it to her when I come down--which the ole "oman do love money, sir, better than she do anything in this world, "cept it is me and old marster and Miss Claudia.
And likewise what she wants me to bring her from town, and whether she would like a red gownd or a yallow one."
Ishmael set down this and looked up.
"Well, Jim?"
"Well, sir, tell her how she aint got no call to be anxious nor likewise stressed in her mind, nor lay "wake o" nights thinking "bout me, fear I should heave myself "way, marrying of these yer trifling city gals as don"t know a spinning wheel from a harrow. And how I aint seen n.o.body yet as I like better"n my ole mother and the young lady of color as she knows "bout and "proves of; which, sir, it aint n.o.body else but your own respected aunt, Miss Hannah"s Miss Sally, as lives at Woodside."
"I have put all that down, Jim."
"Well, sir, and about the grand wedding as is to be to-morrow, sir; and how the Bishop of Maryland is going to "form the ceremony; and how the happy pair be going to go on a grand tower, and then going to visit Tanglewood afore they parts for the old country; and how she will see a rale, livin" lord as she"ll be "stonished to see look so like any other man; and last ways how Miss Claudia do talk about taking me and Miss Sally along of her to foreign parts, because she prefers to be waited on by colored ladies and gentlemen "fore white ones; and likewise how I would wish to go and see the world, only I won"t go, nor likewise would Miss Claudia wish to take me, if the ole "oman wishes otherwise."
Ishmael wrote and then looked up. Poor Jim, absorbed in his own affairs, did not notice how pale the writer"s face had grown, or suspect how often during the last few minutes he had stabbed him to the heart.
"Well, sir, that is about all I think, Master Ishmael. Only, please, sir, put it all down in your beautiful language as makes the ladies cry when you gets up and speaks afore the great judges theirselves."
"I will do my best, Jim."