"Yes, as happy as I shall ever be away from home; I was very fond of my pupils, of Edith especially."
"Was she the youngest?"
"No, the eldest. An orphan niece of Mr. Linchmore"s, and adopted by him at her mother"s and his sister"s death. I shall regret leaving Brampton.
I think change must be one of the worst trials of a governess"s life."
"It is a sad one, no doubt, when, as in your case, a governess happens to be attached to those she is leaving. Perhaps," continued Mrs.
Elrington, as she rose, "I had better not wait to see your mother now.
As soon as you have made up your mind, Amy, I would advise your writing at once to Mrs. Linchmore without delay."
Amy leant back in her chair very sorrowfully after Mrs. Elrington had gone. If she had had any doubt about the propriety of leaving Brampton, her mother"s old friend--she, whose advice she so valued--had cleared it away; it was evident the step must be taken, however slow her heart might be to break asunder the one tie that yet seemed to bind her to Charles Linchmore.
"What are you thinking of, Amy?" asked Sarah, who had been watching her sister for some time. "You look so sad."
"Do I? I was thinking of Mamma, and whether we could do anything to make her better; and about my leaving Brampton, Sarah."
"But that will be so nice to have you always here; you can"t be sorry about that, sister."
"But then I shall lose a great deal of money; and Mamma will have to go without a great many things she really wants. Port wine cannot be bought for nothing, Sarah."
"Ah! what a pity it is we are not rich, then we might take her back to our dear old home. I am sure she would get well there. Don"t you think so?"
"She might, Sarah. But I think if change is to do her good, she will require a greater change than that."
"Further off still?" asked the child. "Where to, Amy?"
"I cannot tell; but Dr. Ashley can."
"But can"t you guess at all? Not even the name?" persisted her sister.
"No. But I think somewhere abroad; a long way off. And that would cost money. Yes, more money than we have, a great deal," sighed Amy.
"Ah!" said the child, "when I"m grown up I"ll marry a man with lots of money, just like Mr. Vavasour. Hannah says he"s awfully rich; and then he should take us away to a lovely place by the sea-side where Mamma and all of us could live like princesses. I am sure she would get well then."
This innocent remark of Sarah"s was a home-thrust to Amy; a death blow to her hopes, and roused her at once. Should she sit so quietly and pa.s.sively when her mother"s life was at stake? Nurse and h.o.a.rd up a love in her heart that she was ashamed had ever entered there from its very hopelessness and selfishness? There was Dr. Ashley coming up the walk, she would first ask his opinion as to the necessity of a change; and if he thought it necessary? Then--then. Once again Amy sighed, and said, "It is my fate; it must be so," and then went out into the other room, and quietly awaited the doctor"s coming.
Some ten minutes elapsed, during which Amy was restless and anxious; still she would not pause to think now, lest her heart should give way; so she walked about even as Frances Strickland often did in her impatient moods, took up the books one by one off the table and looked at their t.i.tles--read them she could not--and then the doctor"s heavy tread sounded on the staircase, and she went out and met him.
"Will you come in here, Dr. Ashley?" she said. "I want to thank you for so kindly coming to see Mamma. It is so very kind of you." Amy knew nothing of the ten pound note so carefully stowed away in his waistcoat pocket for the expenses of his homeward journey.
"Pray say no more, my dear Miss Neville," he said. "It pains me."
And Amy did not. Perhaps she thought it was painful to be thanked for what in her innermost heart she half suspected he was paid for.
"How did you find Mamma, Dr. Ashley?" she asked.
"Well, not quite so bright as yesterday, but still no material change for the worse. Dr Sellon tells me she often has these ups and downs."
"Any unusual excitement appears to weaken her for the time. Dr. Sellon does not attend regularly. I only call him in when I think Mamma really requires it."
"Quite right. Your mother"s case is one requiring care and--and everything good and strengthening you can give her."
"Do you think Mamma very ill?" Amy could not bring herself to ask if he thought she would recover, although that thought had been at her heart for days, and she had driven it away and would not give it utterance.
"There is weakness,--great weakness," he replied. "I cannot see that Mrs. Neville has any other disease."
"But--but I fear you are evading my question, Dr. Ashley. I wish to know exactly what your opinion is of Mamma."
"My dear young lady," he said, kindly, "the opinion I have given is a true one, though perhaps not all the truth, and--well, she requires great care. There is a prostration of the vital powers--great want of energy. She wants rousing. Every means should be tried to accomplish that; otherwise, I need not say, this weakness and debility will increase, and of necessity do mischief."
"Every means," replied Amy, "but what means? what must I do?"
"Whatever lies in your power: whatever the patient, which I know she is in both senses of the word, expresses a wish for. She should be humoured in everything, but I need not tell you that, Miss Neville."
"And can nothing else be done?--no change of air tried?"
"Decidedly, if possible. It is the _one_ remedy needful; the only remedy, in fact, and I should have named it at first, only I deemed it impracticable of accomplishment."
"You think Mamma might recover if she went away?" asked Amy.
"With G.o.d"s help, I do; but the step should be taken at once. If delayed it might be too late. And now, keep up your spirits and hope for the best. Remember there is nothing so bad as a tearful face and aching heart for your mother to see."
"Too late!" Those words rang in Amy"s ears all day. It should not be too late. And yet how nearly had her mother been sacrificed to her blind infatuation for one who she now felt had never loved her, but only carelessly flirted to trifle away the hours that perhaps hung heavy on his hands. Alas! what would Mr. Linchmore say, did he know that the very fate he had warned her would be hers if she allowed her heart to become enslaved by Mr. Vavasour, had even overtaken her at the hand of his brother.
Not many days after Dr. Ashley had gone, a letter arrived from Anne Bennet. It ran thus:--
"Brampton Park, "February 25th.
"MY DEAR MISS NEVILLE,
"I have almost made up my mind to torment you with a letter every day, this place being so dull and dreary that the mere fact of writing is quite a delightful episode in my long day. I should be happy enough if Frances were away; but you know how I always disliked that girl. Just imagine my disgust, then, at her remaining here, for, of course, Julia has told you she herself and every one else is gone, excepting Frances and Charles; the latter, I suppose, remains in the hope of soon seeing you. Why don"t you come back? I declare it is shameful of you to remain away so long, when you must know how wretched you are making him, and how devotedly he loves you. I should not tell you this, only Frances drives me to it, and I am just at the root of a grand secret. Julia behaved shamefully--would not help me in the least, as she would persist in declaring it was curiosity--how I hate the word!--so I had nothing for it but to take Mr. Hall into my confidence, the result of which has been that I have promised, some long time hence, to become Mrs.
Hall; and for the time being, we are turned into a pair of turtle-doves, only instead of billing and cooing, we are snapping and snarling all day. Adieu. Answer every word of this letter, especially that relating to Charles, who is, I am certain, as devotedly yours as
"Your loving friend, "ANNE BENNET."
This letter, with its mention of Charles Linchmore, pained Amy, and roused her slumbering pride. She would answer it at once, every word of it, and for ever put an end to Anne"s mention of his name. She should see that Amy was as proud in some things as the haughty Mrs. Linchmore herself, or the defiant Frances. No woman should think she would stoop one iota for any man"s love; while as for Charles, Anne was deceived in her belief of his love for her, even as she had been; but it was not well her heart should be reminded of the one image still slumbering there. Was she not as much bound to Robert Vavasour as if she were already engaged to him? or did she ever prevent his coming to the cottage by being ungracious?
No; Amy had made up her mind to love him, and was ever ready to listen to his words, or walk with him. No fits of dread despair a.s.sailed him now. His whole life seemed a bright sunshine; even the dull, desolate walk up from the village was pleasant, because every step brought him nearer to the cottage.
That evening--the evening of the day that brought Anne"s letter--Amy, while old Hannah cleared away the tea things, went to her room and answered it. The doing so cost her many bitter thoughts, and perhaps a few tears were hastily dashed away. When it was done, her head ached sadly. She went to the window and threw it open. It was a lovely moonlight night. She crept softly downstairs and out into the garden, and leant over the little green gate at the end.
Some ten minutes pa.s.sed sadly away, and then a step sounded on the crisp gravel. Amy knew well it was Robert Vavasour"s, still she did not move or turn her head. Was he going home without saying good night to her? or had he missed her and guessed where she was?
"It is a cold night, Miss Neville," he said as he drew near. "Is it wise for you to be out without a shawl or wrap of any kind?"
"The lovely night tempted me," she replied, "I thought it might cool my head, for it aches sadly."
He did not reply. Amy too was silent; perhaps she guessed what he would say next.