Ben stretched out next to her, relief flooding him and temporarily shoving all thoughts of Bianco out of his head. As she snuggled in his arms, he inhaled her scent deeply, rea.s.suring himself that she was truly safe. Until Allan had called him he"d struggled with horrible thoughts of never finding her, of something awful happening to her without him ever getting to see her again.
Or tell her one last time how much he loved her.
"How are you feeling?" he asked her.
Her tiny voice ripped at his heart. "I"m okay."
"Bulls.h.i.t," Allan said. "She"s not okay. She"s in a horrible flare. She can"t drive back to Brooksville like this."
"Tell us the truth."
She wouldn"t meet his gaze. "I"m sorry. I know I shouldn"t have come. It was stupid. I"m sorry."
He pulled her close again. "Shh, it"s done. You"re here, and no, I"m not happy you put yourself at risk, but I am happy to see you. You have no idea how much we"ve missed you."
That seemed to quiet her.
"Now the truth. Tell us what"s wrong."
She listed what he"d expected, the pain, weakness, lethargy. "Worse, I think the naproxen"s making my stomach upset so I stopped taking it."
"Why?" Allan asked as he sat on the other side of the bed.
"I keep feeling queasy in the mornings. It got a little better when I stopped taking it."
Ben felt like he couldn"t breathe. "Queasy?"
"Just a little. Not bad." She snorted. "The gift of fibro, symptoms that come and go and no clue if it"s related to fibro or anything normal."
When he met Allan"s gaze, his brother"s eyes looked as wide and filled with shock as his own.
"Baby, when was your last period?" Allan asked.
"What?"
"Are you late?" Ben asked.
"I"m..." She sat up, her brow scrunched as she tried to think. "I don"t know. It"s nothing to worry about. I"ve been irregular off and on the past year or so. The doctor said I might be going into early menopause."
"How long have you been queasy?" Allan asked.
"Just the past couple of..." Her eyes widened as she finally boarded their train of thought and handed the conductor her ticket. "No!" She shook her head. "No. I can"t be."
"How late are you?" Ben asked again.
"I don"t know. But we used condoms."
"They"re not perfect," Allan said.
"Where"s the closest drugstore?" Ben asked Allan.
"I saw a Walgreens a couple of blocks down." He stood. "I"ll go."
"Go where?" she asked.
He leaned in and kissed her. "Don"t worry about it. I"ll be right back." He glanced up at Ben. "Come lock the door after me."
When they were alone again, Ben removed his jacket and tossed it on the other bed, then removed his gun and holster and placed them on top of the jacket, followed by his shirt and bulletproof vest before rejoining her.
She looked sh.e.l.l-shocked. "I can"t be pregnant," she said as she crumbled into his arms again. "I just can"t. We used condoms."
Except for how upset she was, he would have laughed. "Sweetie, it"s okay."
"No, it"s not okay."
That set his worry off. "Why? You don"t want kids?"
"I can"t do this alone!"
He made her look at him. "You are not alone. You have both of us."
"You"re here in Miami. Plus I was taking the naproxen. What if..." She buried her head against his chest again. She didn"t cry out loud, but he could tell from the irregular rise and fall of her chest and her frequent sniffling that she was crying.
He didn"t know what to say. He didn"t have words. Instead, he opted to call Grover and tell him she was safe and sound, but that he didn"t have time to talk to go into details.
He also didn"t tell him she was right there with him, because he suspected the last thing she needed was the tongue-lashing she knew Grover would rightfully give her for scaring the c.r.a.p out of all of them.
It felt like forever before he heard Allan knock on the door. He checked before opening it, and Allan rushed in with a bag. "Okay, I got three different ones so we can tell for sure. They can"t all be wrong." He emptied the bag onto the bed.
She sat up and wiped at her face. "I..." She sniffled. "Can one of you help me? I can"t...I can"t focus today. I"m sorry." Ben worried most about her state of mind. She sounded weak, defeated.
He took her hand and helped her up. "Quit apologizing. You can"t help that you"re in a flare. And yes, of course we"ll both help you." He shot Allan a warning look not to laugh while they opened and read the instructions for all three test kits, which were all two-packs.
"Okay," Ben said. "This is logistically going to be difficult. I say we go with two of them for now. She"s not a racehorse with a gallon of pee in her."
Sitting on the bathroom counter and looking even weaker in the fluorescent lighting, Libbie managed a wan smile. "I do have to pee."
"All right," Allan said, grabbing one. "a.s.sume the position." He reached for the second test stick. "Ben, you just stand there and take them from me. I don"t want you getting pee on my suit."
That earned them a soft laugh that relieved Ben. And how it actually worked was Libbie started out holding one of the test strips, and then Allan made the switch with her while Ben took the first one and snapped the cap back on it and started keeping the time.
A few minutes later, all three of them stood there in silence. Ben wanted to jump up and down with joy. Allan, he suspected, was staying quiet until he read Libbie"s mood.
Ben knew there might be health considerations for both Libbie and the baby, but for now he didn"t want to think about that. He wanted to bask in his joy, something he"d all but given up hope of ever feeling.
Libbie stood in front of them, her full attention focused on the two plastic test sticks.
They both read positive.
Ben gently rubbed her shoulders. "Sweetheart, it"s your body and your decision. But Allan and I both want kids. So keep that in mind. And we promise we will be there for you, no matter how we need to manage it."
She still didn"t say anything.
Libbie didn"t know what to say. She stared dumbly at the two test strips, blinking and hoping they"d change to negative.
Then she thought about Mandaline"s words the other day in Many Blessings, how she"d called Libbie "mama" and said she was "glowing."
Frak.
Yes, she"d always thought about maybe one day having kids, but at thirty-five, and without a husband, she"d pushed the thought to the back of her mind and forgotten about it.
The truth was staring her in the face. "What...what if something"s wrong with it?" She caught herself laying her palm against her belly.
"And what if it"s totally healthy?" Allan asked.
They made her turn to face them.
Ben asked the question. "Do you want an abortion?"
"No!" she answered immediately without even thinking about it. As she studied their faces, she realized they were both struggling not to smile. "What?"
"That was a pretty quick answer, don"t you think?" Allan queried. "Maybe the answer of a woman who"s made up her mind and just needs her men to rea.s.sure her everything"s going to be okay because they"re going to take charge and make it okay so she doesn"t have to shoulder the burden alone?"
She nodded, hating that the p.r.i.c.kle of tears had returned again. But then their arms were around her and one or both of them helped her back into bed and she was lying, comfortably sandwiched between them, when she fell into the first truly solid sleep she"d had since they left.
"What the h.e.l.l do we do now, Brain?" Allan whispered so as not to wake her.
"She can"t stay here. We have to get her back to Brooksville."
"I"ll go," Allan said.
"You can"t. You"re needed here."
"Then you go."
"I can"t. You need me here."
Allan loved his brother, but this was one of those times he wanted to smack him. "Then she stays here with us."
"What part of she can"t stay here" don"t you understand?"
"Then what"s your plan?"
"I don"t have one!"
They both lowered their voices as she stirred a little in her sleep before settling again.
Allan looked at his brother. "This does it. I"m turning in my resignation and going back with her. I can use a secure phone to answer questions, but they don"t need me. I"m done."
"No, I"ll quit. I can shove what few cases I have over onto someone else."
"Then we"ll both friggin quit."
They stared at each other over her sleeping form. Stalemate.
"You can"t quit," Ben said. "Not yet. They need you."
"She needs me more."
"If Bianco skates, we"ll never be able to stop looking over our shoulders and you know it."
Another stalemate.
Ben finally nodded. "Look, I"ll take a leave of absence. Personal leave. That way I"m still on the force and it avoids a ton of bulls.h.i.t. Not to mention I have something crazy like two months" worth of vacation time built up. When I"m due in for testimony, I"ll come down. But you need to start carrying and wearing a vest all the time. Promise? Deal?"
Allan stroked her forehead. He had a carry permit and Ben had trained him personally, but he didn"t like guns and hated using them. He would, however, do whatever he had to for Libbie"s sake. "Deal," he softly said.
Once sure she was deeply asleep. Allan carefully climbed out of bed and motioned Ben to do the same. Going into the bathroom, Allan shut the door and kept his voice low so it wouldn"t carry into the bedroom. "I need to call the office and tell them I"m not going to be in."
"You have to go in. Witness statements this afternoon."
"c.r.a.p." He ran a hand through his hair. Upon doing so, he turned to the mirror and stared at his reflection. His dark roots were showing. One of the things he hated most was dying his hair.
"It"s time for me to go back to being me." He met Ben"s gaze in the mirror. "You don"t need to protect me. I need you to protect and take care of her." He studied his reflection again. "There"s a place across the street. I"ll go there right now and have them put me back. And new rules. No more bulls.h.i.t about her not being able to call when she wants or needs to. If those a.s.sholes are truly that tech savvy, we"re screwed regardless. It"s more important for her to be able to talk to us. What if she"d broke down on the Alley on her way over here and couldn"t call for help because the c.r.a.p-a.s.s phone we gave her couldn"t pick up a signal?"
Ben nodded. Allan had expected at least token resistance to his demands, but Ben seemed broken, hollow. "Agreed," Ben wearily replied. "And there are some of your suits down in the trunk of your car. I grabbed a few more while I was at the house."
Allan grabbed the wallet in his pocket and handed it to Ben, who did the same. "So we"re back to being us again," he said.
A soft snort escaped Ben.
"What?" Allan asked.
"I have a feeling Libbie won"t have any trouble at all telling us apart. Just like we couldn"t fool Mom, no matter how we tried."
"Yeah."
He looked at Allan. "We"re in agreement that we marry her, right?"
"Bigamy is illegal in Florida."
"Dumb-a.s.s. We can have one of those handfasting ceremonies Mandaline was talking about at New Year"s."