Probably having prom flashbacks, Jon mused.
"Hey! Cupcake. Pay attention." The kid tore his gaze away from the window and looked at Jon.
"Wha -"
"Can you see what that building is out there? What does that sign say?"
Sunshine blinked and Jon saw something approximating normality work its way across his face.
"Oh, yeah." He leaned forward, doing his best to ignore wonder woman"s advances. "It says "Lucky Changs". Maybe a Chinese restaurant?"
"Maybe. h.e.l.l of a place to stick a Chinese restaurant." Whatever Lucky Changs was, it was in the middle of b.u.mf.u.c.k nowhere. It had to be at least ten miles since they"d pa.s.sed anything other than trees, and it was a good bet that they"d go another ten without seeing anything else.
"f.u.c.king c.h.i.n.ks," Jon mumbled. He was hoping for a bar, preferably a piece of s.h.i.t bar where the customers brought their own entertainment as often as not. He needed something to take the edge off before he pa.s.sed out from the pain.
"Okay. Okay. Listen. On the floor by my feet is a gun. Pick it up."
Sunshine looked at him in confusion. "A gun? What"s a gun doing on the floor?"
"It"s lying there, numb nut. Now do you have any more questions or should we wait for Princess Putrid"s date to get here? Maybe she"ll bring the whole gang for take out."
Sunshine gave an uneasy glance out his window.
"Pick up the f.u.c.king gun."
The words seemed to finally kick start Sunshine into gear and he unfastened his seat belt and slid over toward Jon.
"See it?"
He leaned down a bit, eyes searching the floor.
"You can blow me later. Just pick up the G.o.dd.a.m.ned gun," Jon growled.
"I don"t ..." Sunshine"s hands dragged across the floor of the car, searching. "Got it."
"Good." The kid sat up, holding the gun out in front of him like some trophy.
"Good, good, good. Now, when I open the window, pop her one in the head. But try not to ruin her mascara."
"What - listen -"
Jon hit the b.u.t.ton and the window slid down.
"Hey!" Sunshine squealed, leaning away as far from the window as possible. The zombie followed suit, leaning in as far as it could.
"What the f.u.c.k?"
Jon kept staring straight ahead, smiling. He was afraid to move his head and awaken the dragon. There was no other gun within reach and he didn"t think he could make good use of one if there were. The accident had really incapacitated him.
If he f.u.c.ks this up, I"m dead. The thought didn"t bother him much.
His head turned away, eyes closed, Sunshine pointed the gun in the general direction of the window and emptied the clip.
Jon"s world exploded in thunder.
Each shot felt like a small ball peen hammer tapping on his skull. The pain was so intense that for a moment he was sure the dumb f.u.c.k had fired at him.
"Jesus!"
Between thunderclaps, Jon could make out Sunshine shouting nonsense.
The car filled with blue smoke and cordite, a not entirely unpleasant or unfamiliar smell. The thunder receded and now all he heard were dry clicks and whimpering.
Click. Click. Click.
"Enough, Sunshine. You"ll strip the trigger."
Click.
"G.o.dd.a.m.nit! Enough!"
"I think I killed it."
"You think? What do you mean, you think?"
Sunshine"s hands shook more than his voice. "I wasn"t - that is, I wasn"t looking when ... But it"s gone."
Jon winced as a fresh bout of fire engulfed his shoulder.
"Look out the G.o.dd.a.m.ned window and tell me what you see."
There were a few seconds of blessed silence.
"Oh Jesus, she"s dead all right."
Jon heard Sunshine retch, followed by the warm splat of vomit hitting the pavement, and something else.
"Oh G.o.d, that"s disgusting. I think ..." More retching.
Jon rolled his eyes. "For f.u.c.k"s sake. Is that the first time you killed anything? Don"t even answer that. I don"t care. You"re about to kill a lot more. In the back on the pa.s.senger side is a box of clips for the pistol. Go get them."
"Oh G.o.d, what a mess. There are puddles where her eyes ..."
"Sunshine," Jon said in a quiet, calm voice, "you don"t want me asking you again."
Sunshine didn"t like the sound of that. Muttering under his breath he retrieved the ammo, reminding Jon of a Monty Python cartoon.
"You know how to load that?"
"Yes."
"Then do it, G.o.dd.a.m.nit." Jon heard the satisfying click of a clip sliding into place. "Take two more with you." Another blessed pause.
"With me?"
Jon turned his face toward Sunshine, fresh sweat breaking out across his forehead.
"Listen. We need a new car and I need something to take the edge off. You"re going to go inside there and see what you can forage. Pills, liquor, gra.s.s - anything. Then we"ll work on finding new wheels. You got that?"
Sunshine stared at him in horror.
"You want me to go in there? By myself?"
Jon laughed. "Don"t worry. I don"t think they"ll card you."
"But ..."
"Look. You got two choices. Do what I say or get the f.u.c.k out of here. We both know you don"t have the sand to make it on your own. So that means you got one choice."
"Okay, okay. I just need a minute."
"We"re having a special today. Take two."
Sunshine rolled down the window and cautiously stuck out his head, making Jon think of every Friday the 13th movie ever made. Only the trip hammer going off at the base of his neck prevented him from laughing.
"Is she still waiting for her dance?"
His neck hurt too much for him to waste energy turning it, but he could hear Sunshine retching again.
"Oh G.o.d. I just puked all over her face."
"I"m sure you aren"t her first. Now get out and don"t come back without a pocket full of pills, booze, weed or somef.u.c.k."
A fresh bout of pain caused Jon to hiss.
"And don"t fire that thing more than you have to. This isn"t a video game. You don"t get more ammo by walking over the corpse. Make every bullet count. Now git."
Restoring his faith in the Almighty, Sunshine shut up and got.
Chapter 20.
Zom-bi The front door opened without a hitch.
s.h.i.t.
Sunshine stepped inside and a noxious cloud of cheap perfume, talc.u.m powder, stale beer and desperation a.s.saulted him like a deadbeat in-law. A few lights still worked, but the wattage was so low they made it almost more difficult to see. Except for the buzzing of flies, it was dead quiet.
Thank G.o.d for small favors.
Lucky Chang"s seemed larger inside. The floor was movie-theater sticky, and after the thing with the prom queen back at the car, Sunshine was in no mood to investigate the cause. A small alcove opened into the main room. Red and black booths were set against the walls, flanking a small stage. There were a few tables near the stage and he could just make out a bar at the far side of the room.
The place was decorated in cheap red velvet, with dirty Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling ... and lots of bodies. Two were lying across the booth closest to him: two men, faces staring up at the ceiling. Both had a G.o.d-awful mess where their crotches should have been. Next to them on the floor was another Amazon special. She was a six-footer with a Liza Minnelli hairdo, wearing a red c.o.c.ktail dress which rode too far up her Heisman trophy thighs. Her face was turned away but he could see her junk peeking out from a pair of torn size forty-six h.e.l.lo Kitty panties.
He fought down another urge to vomit.
Junk?
Sunshine tore his eyes away from the dead diva. Enough of the floor show.
To his left was what looked like a hostess station - a small alcove with a counter, cash register and a display case. The case contained cigarette lighters, Tic Tacs, condoms, and an a.s.sortment of creams and lotions.
Lovely.
He made his way behind the counter, praying for a quick score. Underneath the register he found an old s...o...b..x with "Lost "n Found" written in red on the side with what he guessed was lipstick. Inside the box he found a memory stick, half a pack of Lifesavers and a bottle of Tylenol. He grabbed the bottle.
Extra strength. Somehow, I don"t think this will satisfy Jon.
The air was humid and stale. Every time he inhaled he could feel his throat being coated in dust and pollen. The adrenaline rush from the encounter with Dancing Queen hadn"t worn off, and Sunshine was still a little shaky.
He blinked rapidly in the dim light, trying to keep the sweat out of his eyes and work up the courage to go to the bar. A couple bottles of Scotch and that"s it. Jon could either take it or leave it.
Sunshine took a deep breath of dusty air and started across the room.
The buzzing grew louder. As he stepped into the main room he could make out a few flies dancing from patron to patron. In order to walk to the bar he had to navigate between Liza Man-elli on the floor, and the booths of dead customers, keeping as far away as possible from all of them. The two men in the first booth looked like bikers; bushy beards, ear rings, big bellies and bad teeth. Even in death they radiated an aura of menace, although that wasn"t such a rare occurrence these days. They were the sort of men that always made him feel like prey. The kind of men - The kind of men that carry drugs.
"No. I don"t think so. I"ll just go to the bar and grab a bottle. If Jon wants to play blind man"s buff with Easy Riders here, he can do it. But not me. No, sir."
Run to the bar, nab the Wild Turkey and then run the f.u.c.k out of there. Nothing wrong with that plan. Except what if Jon wasn"t satisfied with Wild Turkey? What if Jon with the Gun felt cheated? And did he really want to be driving with a drunken gun-waving psychopath?
Taking a deep breath and immediately regretting it, he walked over to the booth.
A bunch of bills were clutched in Biker One"s right hand. His left hand rested on what was left of his lap, searching for his missing link. Replace those bills with a remote control and you"d have a Norman Rockwell painting from h.e.l.l. s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up his courage, Sunshine leaned in and searched the vest pockets, upsetting a few flies. Even the denim cloth felt dead to him - stiff and unyielding. Grimacing, he continued to fish through the pockets and came up empty, save for a pack of Parliament Lights.
f.a.g. He was on the edge of hysteria and that thought almost pushed him over. He fought an almost uncontrollable urge to laugh. After an eternity the urge pa.s.sed.
I think I deserve a smoke. He opened the box.
Bingo!
The box held three cigarettes and six hand-rolled beauties. Just what the Proctor ordered. This would have to do. Time to get the f.u.c.k out of Dodge.
He turned back toward the door just as Liza grabbed his ankle.