"What made you stop?" he says.
"I got religion," I says.
There was also considerable careless dancing done at the Banister place that night and early the following morning. In fact, there was considerable of a good many things done there that Sat.u.r.day and Sunday--tennis and golf and horseback-riding and billiards and pool and going in swimming in a private lake on the premises and playing a card game which they calls it auction-bridge, and eating and drinking and smoking. Everybody is so busy all day changing clothes for the next event they ain"t got very much time for the thing that"s on at the time being. But when the night-time comes the ladies strips down to full-dress and all hands just settles in for the three favorite sports, which is dancing and cards and drinks, both long and short. I has seen thirsty gentlemen before in my day but to the best of my recollection I ain"t never encountered no ladies that seemed so parched-like as one or two of these here ladies was. I"m thinking in particular of Mrs.
g.a.y.l.o.r.d. She certainly is suffering from a severe attack of the genuine parchments. But I"ll say this much for her--she"s doing her level best to get shut of it by taking the ordained treatment. That Sat.u.r.day evening whilst I is upstairs in Mr. Dallas" room laying out his dress-clothes, the guests, about a dozen of "em is out in the front yard setting round little tables where I can see "em from the window, and every time I pa.s.ses the window and looks out it seems like she"s being served with a little bit more. She carries it just beautiful, though; she certainly has my deep personal admirations for her capacity. But next day when she comes down stairs she acts dauncy and low-spirited for awhile. She"s got on a fresh complexion, to be sure, but even so she looks sort of weather-beaten "round the eyes. You take "em when they is either prematurely old or else permanently young and the morning is always the most tellingest time on "em. Well, several of those present ain"t feeling the best in the world, seemingly, that Sunday when they strolls forth for late breakfast "long about half past eleven. It was after three o"clock before they dispersed and some of "em ain"t entirely got over it yet--they is still kind of dispersed-looking, if you gets my meaning.
Well, all day Sunday is just like Sat.u.r.day evening was, only if anything, more so; and late Sunday night the party busts up and scatters and we starts back to town. Mr. Dallas he elects for to ride back in the runabout with Miss Bill-Lee so that throws Miss...o...b..ien, the one which they calls Pat for short, into the big car with the rest of our crowd.
Starting off she quarrels right peart with Mrs. g.a.y.l.o.r.d. I gathers that they was partners at the bridging game part of the time and they can"t get reconciled with one another over the way each one of "em handled her cards. The more they scandalizes about it the more onreconciled they gets, too. It seems like each one thinks the other don"t scarcely know how to deal, let alone play the hands after she gets "em. Setting there listening to "em carrying on I thinks to myself these here Northern white folks must hate to lose even a little bit of money. I knows these two ladies couldn"t a-lost much neither--I heard Mr. Raynor saying beforehand they was going to play five cents a point. But to overhear "em debating now, you"d a-thought it had been a real stiff game, like dollar-limit poker, say, or set-back at six bits a corner.
After awhile Miss Pat she quits argufying and drops off to sleep and Mr.
Bellows he likewise drifts off into a doze and that leaves Mrs. g.a.y.l.o.r.d and Mr. Raynor talking together in the back seat kind of confidential.
But the hood of the car being over "em it seems like it throws their voices forward, and setting up with the chauffeur I can"t keep from eavesdropping on part of what they is confabbing about.
Presently I hears Mr. Raynor saying:
"Well, you never can guess in advance what a sap will like, can you? You would have thought he"d fall for a kiddo with a good, strong up-to-date tomboy line, like little Patsy here. But no--not at all! He takes one look into those languishing eyes of our other friend and goes down and out for the count. Funny--eh, what? Well, it only goes to show that while the vamp stuff is getting a trifle old-fashioned it still pays dividends--if only you pick the right customer."
Then I hears Mrs. g.a.y.l.o.r.d saying:
"Her system may be a bit _pa.s.se_ but you can"t say she doesn"t work fast once she gets under way. Clever, I call it."
"Clever?" he says, "you bet! She works fast and she works clean, tidying up as she goes along and burying her own dead. I always did say for her that when it came to being a gold-digger she had the original Forty-niners looking like inmates of the Bide-a-Wee Home. Fast? I"ll say so!"
"She has need to be fast, working opposition to you, Herby, dear," says Mrs. g.a.y.l.o.r.d. "Speaking of expert blood-suckers, I shouldn"t exactly call you a vegetarian."
"Hush, honey," he says, "let"s not talk shop out of business hours. And anyhow," he says, "I don"t mind a little healthy compet.i.tion on the side. It stimulates trade under the main tent--if it"s done in moderation."
"You should know, Herby," she says sort of laughing; "with your experience you should know if anybody does."
Then he laughs, too, a kind of a low and meaning chuckle, and they goes to talking about something else.
But I has done heard enough to set me to studying mighty earnest.
Neither one of "em ain"t specifying who they means by "he" and "she" but I can guess. Once more I says to myself, I says:
"_Uh huh, uh huh!_"
CHAPTER VIII
_Dark Secrets_
Some of the folks which has been following our experiences, as I has wrote them down, might think it was my bounden duty to go straight-away to Mr. Dallas and promulgate to him these here remarks which I hears pa.s.s betwixt Mr. H. C. Raynor and the permanent-wavy lady on that Sunday night six weeks ago, coming back from our week-end in the country. But I does not by no means see my way clear to doing so. In the first place, I ain"t never been what you might call a professional promulgator. In the second place, I figures the time ain"t ripe to start in telling what I believes and what I suspicions. In the third place, I don"t know yet if it ever will be ripe.
Some white folks, seems like, is just naturally beset with a craving to bust into colored folkses" business and try for to run their personal affairs for "em. Mr. Dallas, he is not gaited that way in no particular whatsoever; him having been born and raised South and naturally knowing better anyhow; but some I might mention is. Still, and even so, most white folks don"t care deeply for anybody at all, much less it"s somebody which is colored, to be telling "em onpleasant and onwelcome tidings. And he is white and I is black--and there you is!
Another way I looks at it is this way: There"s a whole heap of white folks, mainly Northerners, which thinks that because us black folks talks loud and laughs a-plenty in public that we ain"t got no secret feelings of our own; they thinks we is ready and willing at all times to just blab all we knows into the first white ear that pa.s.ses by. Which I reckon that is one of the most monstrous mistakes in natural history that ever was. You take a black boy which he working for a white family.
Being on close relations that-a-way with "em he"s bound to know everything they does--what they is thinking about, what-all they hopes and what-all they fears. But does they, for their part, know anything about how he acts amongst his own race? I"ll say contrary! They maybe might think they knows but you take it from J. Poindexter they positively does not do nothing of the kind. All what they gleans about him--his real inside emotions, I means--is exactly what he"s willing for "em to glean; that and no more. And usually that ain"t so much.
Yes sir, the run of colored folks is much more secretious than what the run of the white folks give "em credit for. I reckon they has been made so. In times past they has met up with so many white folks which taken the view that everything black men and black women done in their lodges or their churches or amongst their own color was something to joke about and poke fun at. Now, you take me. I is perfectly willing to laugh with the white folks and I can laugh to order for "em, if the occasion appears suitable, but I is not filled up with no deep yearnings to have "em laughing at me and my private doings. "Specially if it"s strange white folks.
Furthermore there"s this about it: I"ve taken due notice that, whites and blacks alike, pretty near anybody will resent your coming to "em on your own say-so and telling "em right out of a clear sky that they is making a grievous big mistake in doing this or that. If they themselves takes the lead--if they seeks you out of their own accord and says to you, confidential-like, they is in a peck of trouble and craves to know how they is going to get out from under the load--why, that"s different.
Then you can step in, in friendship"s name, and do your best to help "em unravel the tangle which they has got themselves snarled up in it. If you asks me, I would say that advice gets a heap warmer welcome where you goes hunting for it than where it comes hunting for you. And, likewise, sympathy is something which you appreciates all the more if you went out shopping for it yourself. You don"t want it to come knocking at the door like one of these here old peddlers taking orders for enlarging crayon portraits and forcing its way right into your fireside circle whether or no, and camping there in your lap.
Moreover, speaking in particular of our own case, what right has I got to be intimating to Mr. Dallas my private beliefs about the private characters of this here brisk crowd which he has gone and got so thick with since we arrived here on the scene? Right from the first I has had my own personal convictions about the set he"s in with. I has made up my mind that they ain"t the genuine real quality; that they is just a slicked-up, highly-polished imitation of the real quality; that they ain"t doing things so much as they is overdoing "em. The way I looks at it, they bears the same relation to regulation high-toney folks which a tin minnow does to sure-enough live bait. You maybe might fool a fish with it but you couldn"t fool the world at large for so very long. And as for me, I ain"t been fooled at all, not at no time. But I naturally can"t go stating my presenterments to Mr. Dallas without he the same as practically invites me first for to do so. Now, can I? But if he finds it out for himself and approaches me, that"s a roan horse of another color.
So the above reasons is why I is at present keeping my mouth shut in front of him about what concerns him solely. Besides, so many things continues to happen from day to day here in New York it keeps me right busy just staying up with the procession and not overlooking the stray bets. For instances, now, there"s my moving-picture scheme which I thinks up out of my own head and which promises to turn out mighty profitable if everything goes well.
CHAPTER IX
_Movie-Land_
Having so much else to keep track of I has plumb forgot up till now to set forth how comes it we gets ourselves interested in the movies. You see, both Miss Pat and Miss Bill-Lee is in that line, although not working at it very steady. In fact, practically all our crowd lets on to be doing something or other for to earn a living when they can"t think of nothing else to do. It seems like Mr. Bellows sets himself up to be one of these here interior decorators, which I don"t know exactly what that is, though I has my notions for I has seen him decorating.
Let somebody else provide the materials and he"s right there with the interior. Mrs. g.a.y.l.o.r.d she"s an alimony-collector by profession and doing right well at her trade, too, from all I can gather. And Mr.
Raynor he calls himself a broker. I hears Mrs. g.a.y.l.o.r.d saying once, sort of joking, that being a broker is the present tense of being broke, which I reckon that is not only grammar but facts, except when somebody like Mr. Dallas comes along with ready cash on hand. But the two young ladies has both been in theatricals for going on several years now, first on the old-fashioned talking stage and more lately with the films; so naturally there"s a right smart talk about films and screens and all, going on from time to time.
It seems like all hands amongst "em agrees there"s a heap of money in the film business if only the right folks was to take hold of it and get it away from the parties which is now trying to run it. It also seems that if only Miss Bill-Lee could get the proper sort of a chance, which she can"t on account of jealousy and one thing and another, she"d be a brightly shining star in no time. All she needs is for somebody to put her out in a piece which"ll suit her and then she"ll be a sensational success and all concerned will make more money than they"ll know what to do with. I hears her saying so more than once to Mr. Dallas, all the time looking at him with them yearning big black eyes of hers. It seems like that is the one thing which she requires for to make her perfectly happy. And seeing as how that appears to be Mr. Dallas" chief aim in life these times--making Miss Bill-Lee more happy--I says to myself that first thing we know we"ll be investing in a new line on the side. Mr.
Raynor, though, he ain"t so favorable to the notion. I can tell that he don"t want Mr. Dallas to be spreading his play "round so promiscuous. It ain"t so much what he says; it"s by the way he looks when the subject comes up that I can figure out what his private emotions is.
Anyhow, the upshot is that Mr. Dallas takes to spending considerable of his spare time at a studio up-town where the two young ladies works, getting pointers and so on. One evening--I should say, one afternoon--he telephones down to the apartment for me to bring one of his heavy overcoats up there to him because, what with late fall-time being here now, the weather has turned off sort of cold; and that"s how befalls that I gets my look at the insides of one of these here studio places, which I must say, alongside of the one I seen, a crazy-house is plumb rational and abounding in restfulness.
From the outsides it looks to be like something suitable for a tobacco stemmery or maybe a skating-rink, but once I gets past the watchman on the outer door--_Who-ee!_ That"s all--_Who-ee!_ I stops close by the door and for a spell I watches what"s going on and I thinks to myself that whilst there may be a-plenty of money in the moving-picture business, and doubtless is, the bulk of it is liable to stay in it permanent. Never before in my whole life has I seen so many folks letting on like they was fixing for to transact something important and then not doing it. If they was all on piece-work they couldn"t earn enough to pay for half-soling the shoes which they wears out running about getting in one another"s way. But as I understands it, they mainly is hired by the day and not by the job, and my heart certainly goes out in sympathetical feelings for the man, whoever he may be, that"s footing the bills at the end of the week. If I was him I"d charge general admittance for the public to come in and witness these here carryings-on, and thereby get some part of my wastage back.
Almost the first thing which distracts my attention is a pestered-looking man with a pair of these here high leather leggings on, like he was fixing to go horse-back riding but in his frenzy has mislaid the horse; which he is full of authority and dashing to and fro with a big megaphone in one hand and in the other a bunch of wadded-up paper with writing on it. He appears to be in sole charge; and if hollowing loud was worth fifty cents a hollow he"d be a millionaire inside of a month if his voice didn"t give out on him. I finds out a little later that he"s what they calls the director. Well, he certainly does directicate.
One minute he"s yelling at a couple of the hands up in the loft overhead, which their job is to handle some of the lights and then he"s yelling at the little fellow which is running the picture-taking machinery, and then he"s yelling at a bunch of men which has charge of the scenery, only this crowd don"t pay no attention to him but just goes on doing their work very languid-like; so I judges they must belong to a union and therefore can afford to be independent. But most in general he devotes his yelling to a whole mult.i.tude of folks all dressed up in acting clothes with their faces painted the curiousest ever I seen. And, at that, I seen a sight of face-painting since I come to New York! Under them funny lights their skins is an awful corpsy greenish-yellowish-whitish and their lips is purple, like as if they has been drownded nine days and has just now come to the top.
He herds all these people together and gets "em set to act a piece. And then something goes wrong. Either he ain"t satisfied with the lights or with their actions or else he remembers something important which has been forgotten and he yells for somebody to fetch it, and six or eight runs to get it and brings the wrong thing back, and he raves and cusses under his breath and tells everybody to go back to their marks and start in all over again.
And the next try is just the same as the first. And the third try is not no more successful than the other two was. So then the director he shooes the whole crowd back out of the way and walks up and down and waves his arms and wildly states that he hopes he may be hanged if he"s going to go on until they learns how to rehea.r.s.e. And I remarks to myself that if I was them white folks I certainly would give him his wish and hang him!
So then everybody loafs round a spell, whilst the director confabs with a little thin nervoused-looking man called Mr. Simons, with gla.s.ses on.
And then the director announces that they won"t try to shoot the mob scene today and all the extras can go till nine o"clock tomorrow morning, and in the meantime he trusts and prays that they may get a little sense or something in their heads. So, accordingly, most of the mult.i.tude departs leaving only about a dozen or more actor ladies and gentlemen setting round on odds and ends and seemingly very grateful for the peaceful lull.
By this time I has done localized Mr. Pulliam where he"s standing over in a corner talking with Miss Bill-Lee and a couple more ladies, and I makes my way to him. Doing so, I has to pa.s.s behind some of the scenery.
On the other side it"s just like a row of houses with roofs and porches and all, but here on the behind-side of it there ain"t nothing only plastering laths and raggedy ends of burlaps and chicken-coop wire and naked joists. It puts me right sharply in mind of some of these folks we has been a.s.sociating with up here--everything in stock devoted to making a show for the front and nothing except the rubbish left over for the backing. Well, I reckons it"s always like that when you is making-believe to be something you truly ain"t, whether it"s in a moving-picture studio or out in the great world at large.
After I gives Mr. Dallas his coat he tells me to hang round if I wishes to do so and watch "em working. So I hangs round. But there ain"t much working done for quite a spell but, instead, a lot of general speechifying and explaining betwixt this one and that one. Finally though, the pestered man he yells out something about being ready to shoot an interior. All hands rambles over to another part of the building where there is more scenery which is fixed up to look like the insides of a short-order restaurant. One of the young ladies and one of the young gentlemen sets down at a table in front of the camera and lets on to be eating a quick snack whilst a white man, which is dressed up like a waiter and blacked up to look like he"s colored, waits on "em.
The two at the table appears to be giving satisfaction but the ruler of the roost ain"t pleased with the way the waiter acts out his part.
I ain"t blaming him for not being pleased, neither. To start with, the waiter is blacked up too much. He don"t look like he"s genuine colored; he looks more like he"s been shining up a cook stove and got most of the polish rubbed off onto his face and hands. He don"t act like he"s genuine colored, neither. I judges he must have studied the business of acting like colored folks from watching n.i.g.g.e.r minstrel shows. He keeps rolling his eyes up in his head and smacking his lips, the same as an end-man does, which is all right, I reckon, when you is an end-man but which does not fill the bill when you is letting on to be a sure-enough black person; because for years past I ain"t never seen sca.r.s.ely no minstrel man which really deported himself as though he had colored feelings inside of him.