"Will you teach me?" replied Mary, taking me by the arm, and looking me earnestly in the face.
"Yes, I will, with pleasure," replied I, laughing. "We will pa.s.s the evening better than making love, after all, especially if you hit so hard. How came you so knowing in those matters?"
"I don"t know," replied Mary, smiling; "I suppose, as father says, it"s human nature, for I never learnt anything; but you will teach me to read and write?"
"I will teach you all I know myself, Mary, if you wish to learn.
Everything but Latin--we"ve had enough of that."
"Oh! I shall be so much obliged to you. I shall love you so!"
"There you are again."
"No, no, I didn"t mean that," replied Mary, earnestly. "I meant that-- after all, I don"t know what else to say. I mean that I shall love you for your kindness, without your loving me again, that"s it."
"I understand you; but now, Mary, as we are to be such good friends, it is necessary that your father and I should be good friends; so I must ask you what sort of a person he is, for I know but little of him, and, of course, wish to oblige him."
"Well then, to prove to you that I"m sincere, I will tell you something; My father, in the first place, is a very good tempered sort of man. He works pretty well, but might gain more, but he likes to smoke at the public-house. All he requires of me is his dinner ready, his linen clean, and the house tidy. He never drinks too much, and is always civil spoken; but he leaves me too much alone, and talks too much about human nature, that"s all."
"But he"s so deaf--he can"t talk to you."
"Give me your hand--now promise--for I"m going to do a very foolish thing, which is to trust a man--promise you"ll never tell it again."
"Well, I promise," replied I, supposing her secret of no consequence.
"Well, then--mind--you"ve promised. Father is no more deaf than you or I."
"Indeed!" replied I; "why, he goes by the name of Deaf Stapleton?"
"I know he does, and makes everybody believe that he is so; but it is to make money."
"How can he make money by that?"
"There"s many people in business who go down the river, and they wish to talk of their affairs without being overheard as they go down. They always call for Deaf Stapleton: and there"s many a gentleman and lady, who have much to say to each other, without wishing people to listen-- you understand me?"
"O yes, I understand--Latin!"
"Exactly--and they call for Deaf Stapleton; and by this means he gets more good fares than any other waterman, and does less work."
"But how will he manage now that I am with him?"
"O, I suppose it will depend upon his customers; if a single person wants to go down, you will take the sculls; if they call for oars, you will both go; if he considers Deaf Stapleton only is wanted, you will remain on sh.o.r.e; or, perhaps, he will insist upon your being deaf too."
"But I do not like deceit."
"No, it"s not right; although it appears to me that there is a great deal of it. Still I should like you to sham deaf, and then tell me all that people say. It would be so funny. Father never will tell a word."
"So far, your father, to a certain degree, excuses himself."
"Well, I think he will soon tell you what I have now told you, but till then you must keep your promise; and now you must do as you please, as I must go down in the kitchen, and get dinner on the fire."
"I have nothing to do," replied I; "can I help you?"
"To be sure you can, and talk to me, which is better still. Come down and wash the potatoes for me, and then I"ll find you some more work.
Well, I do think we shall be very happy."
I followed Mary Stapleton down into the kitchen, and we were soon very busy, and very noisy, laughing, talking, blowing the fire, and preparing the dinner. By the time that her father came home we were sworn friends.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO.
IS VERY DIDACTIC, AND TREATS LEARNEDLY ON THE VARIOUS SENSES, AND "HUMAN NATURE;" IS ALSO DIFFUSE ON THE BEST TRAINING TO PRODUCE A MORAL PHILOSOPHER--INDEED, IT CONTAINS MATERIALS WITH WHICH TO BUILD UP ONE SYSTEM, AND HALF-A-DOZEN THEORIES, AS THESE THINGS ARE NOW MADE.
I was rather curious, after the secret confided to me by Mary Stapleton, to see how her father would behave; but when we had sat and talked some time, as he appeared to have no difficulty in answering to any observation in a common pitch of the voice, I observed to him that he was not so deaf as I thought he was.
"No, no," replied he; "in the house I hear very well, but in the open air I can"t hear at all, if a person speaks to me two yards off. Always speak to me close to my ear in the open air, but not loud, and then I shall hear you very well." I caught a bright glance from Mary"s blue eye, and made no answer. "This frost will hold, I"m afraid," continued Stapleton, "and we shall have nothing to do for some days but to blow our fingers and spend our earnings; but there"s never much doing at this time of the year. The winter cuts us watermen up terribly. As for me, I smokes my pipe and thinks on human natur"; but what you are to do Jacob, I can"t tell."
"Oh, he will teach me to read and write," replied Mary.
"I don"t know that he shall," replied Stapleton. "What"s the use of reading and writing to you? We"ve too many senses already, in my opinion, and if so be we have learning to boot, why then all the worse for us."
"How many senses are there, father?"
"How many! I"m sure I can"t tell, but more than enough to puzzle us."
"There are only five, I believe," said I; "first, there"s _hearing_."
"Well," replied Stapleton "hearing may be useful at times; but not hearing at times is much more convenient. I make twice as much money since I lost the better part of my hearing."
"Well, then, there"s seeing," continued I.
"Seeing is useful at times, I acknowledge; but I knows this, that if a man could pull a young couple about the river, and not be able to see now and then, it would be many a half-crown in his pocket."
"Well, then, now we come to _tasting_."
"No use at all--only a vexation. If there was no tasting we should not care whether we ate brown bread or roast beef, drank water or XX ale; and in these hard times that would be no small saving."
"Well, then, let me see, there"s _smelling_."
"Smelling"s no use whatever. For one good smell by the river"s side there be ten nasty ones; and there is everywhere, to my conviction."
"Which is the next, Jacob?" said Mary, smiling archly.
"_Feeling_."
"Feeling! that"s the worst of the whole. Always feel too cold in winter, too hot in summer--feel a blow too; feeling only gives pain; that"s a very bad sense."
"Well, then, I suppose you think we should get on better without our senses."