"That"s a lie. n.o.body paid me a dime."
"What, then? Was I a charity case? Or was this simply a little arrangement between old friends? He does you a favor, you do him a favor-"
"G.o.ddammit, it was nothing like that! Caleb was worried about you."
"So he got in touch with you. Where do you know him from? That-that ring of spies he calls The Agency? Am I right?"
"Jaimie." Zach"s fingers bit hard into her flesh. "I wanted to tell you. I just didn"t know how. I was afraid you"d look at me exactly the way you"re looking at me now."
"Let go of me, Zacharias."
"Not until you listen!" He stepped closer, so close that she had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. "I never found the right moment to tell you. Not without hurting you, not without ruining what we had."
"We had nothing. We have nothing. You-you used me."
"Never!"
"Was it fun? Conning me? Making me think-making me think-"
Her voice broke. She hated herself for it, for that weakness, for wanting, even now, to fling herself into his arms.
"Please, Jaimie. You have to believe me. What began as a favor for an old friend... I told myself it was that, but it wasn"t. It was you. I just didn"t want to admit it. And when I saw you that first time, when you opened the door and I saw you after all those weeks without you-"
"Stop it."
"Honey. Sweetheart-"
Jaimie slapped him. Hard.
"All the times we were together..." She was panting. Sobbing. With grief. With rage. "You lied to me! You deceived me!"
"Yes. I did. I didn"t see any other way to handle things-and by the time I did, it was too late. I was in so deep that the thought of telling you the truth..." He swallowed audibly. "I was afraid I"d lose you. Can"t you understand that?"
"What I can understand," Jaimie said, stepping back, "is that you don"t have to be afraid anymore, Mr. Castelianos. Because you have lost me. I never, ever want to see you again or hear your name."
"No." The muscle in his jaw knotted. "It isn"t going to end like this. I won"t permit it."
She laughed. Laughed! The sound was cold and bitter, and it made him furious. At himself. At her. At a world that had turned upside down.
He growled her name, reached for her, hauled her into his arms and kissed her. Hard. Mercilessly. He forced her lips apart, took possession of her mouth.
She didn"t fight him.
She simply stood unmoving in his embrace and when he opened his eyes, he saw that she had never shut hers. She was looking at him. Looking through him as if he weren"t there.
Zach"s arms fell to his sides.
He had just handed her his heart, and she had thrown it at his feet.
There was nothing to this thing called love.
It was an empty promise and he"d been a fool for thinking that it wasn"t.
He turned his back, strode to the elevator and took it to the lobby.
It was a cold, clear night; he couldn"t see the stars, but then you never saw the stars in Manhattan skies.
Zach turned up his collar, tucked his hands deep in his pockets, crossed the street and headed for the park. Night wasn"t a good time to be there, but what the h.e.l.l, maybe if he was lucky, some stupid b.a.s.t.a.r.d would try to rob him or mug him and he"d have the chance to beat the s.h.i.t out of him.
That might go a long way toward making him feel better.
As for the stars...seeing them would make him feel better, too.
Zach picked up his pace. Took out his phone. Punched in a number and a code that were ingrained in his head.
"It"s Castelianos," he said brusquely, when an automated voice asked for a message. "What have you got that"s interesting? I"m ready to go out again."
He disconnected. Walked for another hour. Answered the phone when it rang, said yes and no and yes again.
The job would take him deep into Syria; he"d have to fly out tomorrow.
By the time he went home to pack, Jaimie and all her belongings were gone.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
Emily and Marco were to be married on the winter solstice.
The family began gathering four days before that.
The entire town had been invited, along with guests from all over the world. The general had promised he"d be there; so would Khan, the reigning prince of Altara, who would be Marco"s best man. Caleb, Jacob and Travis would be his groomsmen; Jaimie and Lissa would be Emily"s maids of honor; Sage, Addison, Jennie and Laurel, Khan"s wife, would be her bridesmaids.
But for those four days, it would be only the Wildes who would be at El Sueno. Not even Emily and Marco were there; they would fly in the day before the ceremony.
It was wonderful, spending time together. There was lots of laughter, lots of remembering, lots of sighs and smiles, and even a few tears.
Everyone was happy.
Jaimie, not so much.
She was quiet. Very quiet. She knew, from the glances sent her way, that her family was concerned, so she tried hard to be cheerful and bright, but she wasn"t a very good actress and it only made things worse.
Something was wrong. They all sensed it.
The brothers went out riding early on the first morning. They talked about Jaimie in worried tones.
Jacob wondered if Jaimie"s off-kilter behavior was the result of her new job.
"It"s not new," Caleb said. "She"s with the same firm as before."
"But she used to be a Realtor."
"She used to be an accountant," Travis said. "Now, she"s an accountant again. So the job"s not new."
"Maybe she doesn"t like living in New York" Jacob said. "All those tall buildings, closing you in, all those people..."
"Urbanitis is your problem, dude," Caleb said. The others stared at him. He shrugged and looked sheepish. "OK, so it"s not a real word, but it describes how Jake feels about cities."
It did, and he was right.
But big cities weren"t Jaimie"s problem. She was one of those people who could be happy in the Texas hills and equally happy in Manhattan"s concrete canyons.
After a lot of conjecture, Caleb cleared his throat.
"Maybe it"s..." He cleared his throat again. Travis and Jake stared at him. "She"s been through a difficult time lately," he said, and told them about Steven Young.
"Dammit," Travis growled, why didn"t you tell us?"
"I couldn"t. I couldn"t even tell her that I knew what was happening. Jaimie had confided in Lissa and Lissa came to me for help because of, you know, my background in-in-"
"In spookdom," Jake said.
"That"s such a stupid word, Jacob. I was not a..." Caleb sighed. "Yes. That"s right. That"s why she asked for my help."
Jacob: "But the p.r.i.c.k"s been caught."
Travis: "He"s out of Jaimie"s life."
"He d.a.m.n well is."
Gusty sighs all around, followed by shakes of the head.
"So we don"t have a clue as to what"s bothering her."
"No," Caleb said.
"Well, she"s a woman," Travis said. "We all know how they can get. You know. A little weird. Moody."
"PMS," Jake said glumly.
His brothers agreed.
Women. Hormones. PMS.
It made absolute sense.
While the men were out riding, Sage, Addison and Jennie were in the kitchen.
They, too, were talking about Jaimie while Sage and Addison bathed their babes in big porcelain basins that had been used to bathe generations of Wilde infants.
They agreed that she wasn"t her usual self, but none of them knew the reason.
"Lissa might know," Addison said.
"Lissa might know what?" Lissa said, as she stepped into the warm kitchen.
"What"s wrong with Jaimie."
Lissa plucked a cookie from a huge platter. The women gave her pointed looks. Everyone had been told not to touch the cookies until tomorrow.
"I baked them," Lissa said. "I can eat them. Oh, go on, have some if you must."
For a few minutes, there was only the sound of women chewing and swallowing and oohing and ahhing. Then Lissa brushed crumbs off her jeans and said, "OK."
"OK what?" Sage said.
"OK, I think I know what"s wrong with our James." She took a deep breath. "There was this nut case. Steven Young. He was stalking her."
"What did he do to her?"
"Why didn"t we know about it?"
"When did this happen?"
Lissa held up her hands. "He hara.s.sed her, but he never touched her. You didn"t know because I was sworn to secrecy. And it happened pretty recently. The main thing is that it"s over. It"ll be a long time before he sees daylight again."
"And?"
Lissa sighed. "And," she said, and told them the whole story. Everything, including the part about Zach Castelianos.
The women were silent when she"d finished, Sage and Addison sitting with their towel-wrapped babies in their arms, Jennie emptying and rinsing the basins.
Then Sage looked at Lissa.
"In other words, she"s still in love with him."
"But what about him?" Addison said. "Did he love her? Does he still?"
"You know," Jennie said slowly, "sometimes, guys who are the strong, silent type, guys who have trouble facing their feelings, you know, guys who are emotionally hurt, but-"