This conversation irritated Jan far more than many an actual wrong had done. "I have indeed been a fool," he said to Snorro, "but now I will look well to what concerns my own interest."
Then he told Michael of Tulloch"s offer, and added, "At last, then, I have the sum of my wife"s savings, and I will show her she has been saving for a good end. What dost thou think, Snorro?"
"I think the money is thine. All thine has been hers, or she had not saved so much; all hers ought then to be thine. But it is well and right to tell her of Tulloch"s offer to thee. She may like to give thee as a gift what else thou must take without any pleasure."
Jan laughed; it was an unpleasant laugh, and did not at all brighten his face, but he resolved to a certain extent on taking Snorro"s advice. It was quite midnight when he reached his home, but Margaret was sitting by a few red peats knitting. She was weeping, also, and her tears annoyed him.
"Thou art ever crying like a cross child," he said. "Now what art thou crying for?"
"For thy love, my husband. If thou would care a little for me!"
"That is also what I say. If thou would care a little for me and for my well-doing! Listen, now! I have heard where I can buy a good boat for 600. Wilt thou ask thy father for so much of thy tocher? To have this boat, Margaret, would make me the happiest man in Shetland. I know that thou can manage it if thou wilt. Dear wife, do this thing for me. I ask thee with all my heart." And he bent toward her, took the knitting away, and held her hands in his own.
Margaret dropped her eyes, and Jan watched her with a painful interest. Did she love him or her 600 better? Her face paled and flushed. She looked up quickly, and her lips parted. Jan believed that she was going to say--"I have 600, and I will gladly give it to thee." He was ready to fold her to his breast, to love her, as he had loved her that day when he had first called her "wife." Alas! after a slight hesitation, she dropped her pale face and answered slowly--"I will not ask my father. I might as well ask the sea for fresh water."
Jan let her hands fall, and stood up. "I see now that all talk with thee will come to little. What thou wants, is that men should give thee all, and thou give nothing. When thou sayest, "thy love, husband," thou means "thy money, husband;" and if there is no money, then there is ever sighs and tears. Many things thou hast yet to learn of a wife"s duty, and very soon I will give thee a lesson I had done well to teach thee long since."
"I have borne much from thee, Jan, but at the next wrong thou does me, I will go back to my father. That is what I shall do."
"We will see to that."
"Yes, we will see!" And she rose proudly, and with flashing eyes gathered up her knitting and her wool and left the room.
The next morning Jan and Tulloch concluded their bargain. "The Solan"
was put in thorough order, and loaded with a coasting cargo. It was supposed that Tulloch"s nephew would sail her, and Jan judged it wisest to show no interest in the matter. But an hour after all was ready, he drew the 600 out of Tulloch"s bank, paid it down for the boat, and sailed her out of Lerwick harbor at the noon-tide. In ten minutes afterward a score of men had called in Peter Fae"s store and told him.
He was both puzzled and annoyed. Why had Tulloch interfered with Jan unless it was for his, Peter"s, injury? From the secrecy maintained, he suspected some scheme against his interests. Snorro, on being questioned, could truthfully say that Jan had not told him he was to leave Lerwick that morning; in fact, Jan had purposely left Snorro ignorant of his movements. But the good fellow could not hide the joy he felt, and Peter looked at him wrathfully.
It was seldom Peter went to see his daughter, but that evening he made her a call. Whatever she knew she would tell him, and he did not feel as if he could rest until he got the clue to Jan"s connection with Tulloch. But when he named it to Margaret, he found she was totally ignorant of Jan"s departure. The news shocked her. Her work dropped from her hand; she was faint with fear and amazement. Jan had never before left her in anger, without a parting word or kiss. Her father"s complaints and fears about Tulloch she scarcely heeded. Jan"s behavior toward herself was the only thought in her mind. Peter learned nothing from her; but his irritation was much increased by what he considered Margaret"s unreasonable sorrow over a bad husband. He could not bear a crying woman, and his daughter"s sobs angered him.
"Come thou home to thy mother," he said, "when thy eyes are dry; but bring no tears to my house for Jan Vedder."
Then Margaret remembered that she had threatened Jan with this very thing. Evidently he had dared her to do it by this new neglect and unkindness. She wandered up and down the house, full of wretched fears and memories; love, anger, pride, each striving for the mastery.
Perhaps the bitterest of all her thoughts toward her husband arose from the humiliating thought of "what people would say." For Margaret was a slave to a wretched thraldom full of every possible tragedy--she would see much of her happiness or misery through the eyes of others.
She felt bitterly that night that her married life had been a failure; but failures are generally brought about by want of patience and want of faith. Margaret had never had much patience with Jan; she had lost all faith in him. "Why should she not go home as her father told her?"
This question she kept asking herself. Jan had disappointed all her hopes. As for Jan"s hopes, she did not ask herself any questions about them. She looked around the handsome home she had given him; she considered the profitable business which might have been his on her father"s retirement or death; and she thought a man must be wicked who could regard lightly such blessings. As she pa.s.sed a gla.s.s she gazed upon her own beauty with a mournful smile and thought anew, how unworthy of all Jan had been.
At daybreak she began to put carefully away such trifles of household decoration as she valued most. Little ornaments bought in Edinburgh, pieces of fancy work done in her school days, fine china, or gla.s.s, or napery. She had determined to lock up the house and go to her father"s until Jan returned. Then he would be obliged to come for her, and in any dispute she would at least have the benefit of a strong position. Even with this thought, full as it was of the most solemn probabilities, there came into her n.i.g.g.ardly calculations the consideration of its economy. She would not only save all the expenses of housekeeping, but all her time could be spent in making fine knitted goods, and a great many garments might thus be prepared before the annual fair.
This train of ideas suggested her bank book. That must certainly go with her, and a faint smile crossed her face as she imagined the surprise of her father and mother at the amount it vouched for--that was, if she concluded to tell them. She went for it; of course it was gone. At first she did not realize the fact; then, as the possibility of its loss smote her, she trembled with terror, and hurriedly turned over and over the contents of the drawer. "_Gone!_" She said it with a quick, sharp cry, like that of a woman mortally wounded. She could find it nowhere, and after five minutes" search, she sat down upon her bedside, and abandoned herself to agonizing grief.
Yes, it was pitiable. She had begun the book with pennies saved from sweeties and story-books, from sixpences, made by knitting through hours when she would have liked to play. The ribbons and trinkets of her girlhood and maidenhood were in it, besides many a little comfort that Jan and herself had been defrauded of. Her hens had laid for it, her geese been plucked for it, her hands had constantly toiled for it.
It had been the idol upon the hearthstone to which had been offered up the happiness of her youth, and before which love lay slain.
At first its loss was all she could take in, but very quickly she began to connect the loss with Jan, and with the 600 he had asked her to get for him at their last conversation. With this conviction her tears ceased, her face grew hard and white as ice. If Jan had used her money she was sure that she would never speak to him, never see him again. At that hour she almost hated him. He was only the man who had taken her 600. She forgot that he had been her lover and her husband.
As soon as she could control herself she fled to her father"s house, and kneeling down by Peter"s side sobbed out the trouble that had filled her cup to overflowing.
This was a sorrow Peter could heartily sympathize with. He shed tears of anger and mortification, as he wiped away those of his daughter. It was a great grief to him that he could not prosecute Jan for theft.
But he was quite aware that the law recognized Jan"s entire right to whatever was his wife"s. Neither the father nor daughter remembered how many years Jan had respected his wife"s selfishness, and forgiven her want of confidence in him; the thing he had done was an unpardonable wrong.
Thora said very little. She might have reminded Peter that he had invested all her fortune in his business, that he always pocketed her private earnings. But to what purpose? She did not much blame Jan for taking at last, what many husbands would have taken at first, but she was angry enough at his general unkindness to Margaret. Yet it was not without many forebodings of evil she saw Peter store away in an empty barn all the pretty furniture of Margaret"s house, and put the key of the deserted house in his pocket.
"And I am so miserable!" wailed the wretched wife, morning, noon, and night. Her money and her husband supplied her with perpetual lamentations, varied only by pitiful defenses of her own conduct: "My house was ever clean and comfortable! No man"s table was better served! I was never idle! I wasted nothing! I never was angry! And yet I am robbed, and betrayed, and deserted! There never was so miserable a woman--so unjustly miserable!" etc.
"Alas! my child," said Thora, one day, "did you then expect to drink of the well of happiness before death? This is the great saying which we all forget: _There_--not here--_there_ the wicked cease from troubling; _there_ the weary are at rest. _There_ G.o.d has promised to wipe away all tears, but not here, Margaret, _not here_."
CHAPTER V.
SHIPWRECK.
"A man I am, crossed with adversity."
"There is some soul of goodness in things evil; Would men observingly distill it out."
No man set more nakedly side by side the clay and spirit of his double nature than Jan Vedder. No man wished so much and willed so little.
Long before he returned from his first voyage, he became sorry for the deception he had practiced upon his wife, and determined to acknowledge to her his fault, as far as he saw it to be a fault. He was so little fond of money, that it was impossible for him to understand the full extent of Margaret"s distress; but he knew, at least, that she would be deeply grieved, and he was quite willing to promise her, that as soon as The Solan was clear of debt, he would begin to repay her the money she prized so much.
Her first voyage was highly successful, and he was, as usual, sanguine beyond all reasonable probabilities; quite sure, indeed, that Tulloch and Margaret could both be easily paid off in two years.
Surely two years was a very short time for a wife to trust her husband with 600. Arguing, then, from his own good intentions, and his own hopes and calculations, he had persuaded himself before he reached Lerwick again that the forced loan was really nothing to make any fuss about, that it would doubtless be a very excellent thing, and that Margaret would be sure to see it as he did.
The Solan touched Lerwick in the afternoon. Jan sent a message to Tulloch, and hastened to his home. Even at a distance the lonely air of the place struck him unpleasantly. There was no smoke from the chimneys, the windows were all closed. At first he thought "Margaret is gone for a day"s visit somewhere--it is unlucky then." But as he reached the closed gate other changes made themselves apparent. His Newfoundland dog, that had always known his step afar off, and came bounding to meet him, did not answer his whistle. Though he called Brenda, his pet seal, repeatedly, she came not; she, that had always met him with an almost human affection. He perceived before his feet touched the threshold how it was: Margaret had gone to her father"s, or the animals and poultry would have been in the yard.
His first impulse was to follow her there and bring her home, and he felt in his pocket for the golden chain and locket he had brought her as a peace-offering. Then he reflected that by the time he could reach Peter"s house it would be the tea-hour, and he did not intend to discuss the differences between Margaret and himself in Peter"s presence. Thora"s good influence he could count upon; but he knew it would be useless either to reason with or propitiate Peter. For fully five minutes he stood at his bolted door wondering what to do. He felt his position a cruel one; just home from a prosperous voyage, and no one to say a kind word. Yes, he could go to Torr"s; he would find a welcome there. But the idea of the noisy room and inquisitive men was disagreeable to him. Snorro he could not see for some hours. He determined at last that the quiet of his own lonely home was the best place in which to consider this new phase of affairs between him and his wife, and while doing so he could make a cup of tea, and wash and refresh himself before the interview.
He unfastened the kitchen shutter and leaped in. Then the sense of his utter desolation smote him. Mechanically he walked through the despoiled, dusty, melancholy rooms. Not a stool left on which he could sit down. He laughed aloud--that wretched laugh of reckless sorrow, that is far more pitiful than weeping. Then he went to Torr"s. People had seen him on the way to his home, and no one had been kind enough to prevent his taking the useless, wretched journey. He felt deeply wounded and indignant. There were not half a dozen men or women in Lerwick whose position in regard to Jan would have excused their interference, but of that he did not think. Every man and woman knew his shame and wrong. Some one might have warned him. Torr shook his head sympathetically at Jan"s complaints, and gave him plenty of liquor, and in an hour he had forgotten his grief in a drunken stupor.
The next morning he went to Peter"s house to see his wife. Peter knew of his arrival, and he had informed himself of all that had happened in Torr"s room. Jan had, of course, spoken hastily and pa.s.sionately, and had drunk deeply, and none of his faults had been kept from Margaret. She had expected him to come at once for her, to be in a pa.s.sion probably, and to say some hard things, but she also had certainly thought he would say them to her, and not to strangers. Hour after hour she watched, sick with longing and fear and anger, hour after hour, until Peter came in, stern and dour, and said:
"Get thee to thy bed, Margaret. Jan Vedder has said words of thee this night that are not to be forgiven, and he is now fathoms deep in Torr"s liquor. See thou speak not with him--good nor bad," and Peter struck the table so angrily, that both women were frightened into a silence, which he took for consent.
So when Jan asked to see his wife, Thora stood in the door, and in her sad, still way told him that Peter had left strict orders against his entering the house.
"But thou, mother, wilt ask Margaret to come out here and speak to me?
Yes, thou wilt do that," and he eagerly pressed in Thora"s hand the little present he had brought. "Give her this, and tell her I wait here for her."
After ten minutes" delay, Thora returned and gave him the trinket back. Margaret wanted her 600 and not a gold locket, and Jan had not even sent her a message about it. His return had brought back the memory of her loss in all its first vividness. She had had a dim hope that Jan would bring her money with him, that he had only taken it to frighten her; to lose this hope was to live over again her first keen sorrow. In this mood it was easy for her to say that she would not see him, or speak to him, or accept his gift; let him give her back her 600, that was the whole burden of her answer.
Jan put the unfortunate peace-offering in his pocket, and walked away without a word. "He will trouble thee no more, Margaret," said Thora, quietly. Margaret fancied there was a tone of reproach or regret in the voice. It angered her anew, and she answered, "It is well; it were better if he had never come at all." But in her heart she expected Jan to come, and come again, until she pardoned him. She had no intention of finally casting him off. She meant that he should suffer sufficiently to insure his future good behavior. She had to suffer with him, and she regarded this as the hardest and most unjust part of the discipline. She, who had always done her duty in all things.
It is true she had permitted her father to dismantle their home, but she had had a distinct reason for that, and one which she intended to have told Jan, had he come back under circ.u.mstances to warrant the confidence. In fact she had begun to dislike the house very much. It was too small, too far away from her mother, and from the town; besides which, Peter had the very house she longed for vacant, and she hoped so to manage her father, as to make the exchange she wished.
Perhaps, too, she was a little bit superst.i.tious. No one had ever been lucky in the house in which she and Jan had lived. She sometimes felt angry at her father for thrusting it upon them. Even Elga Skade"s love affairs had all gone wrong there, and the girl was sure some malicious sprite had power within its walls to meddle and make trouble. Elga had left her, influenced entirely by this superst.i.tion, and Margaret had brooded upon it, until it had obtained some influence over her; otherwise, she would not have permitted her father to dismantle the unhappy home without a protest.
As it was, with all its faults she was beginning to miss the independence it gave her. No married woman ever goes back to the best of homes, and takes the place of her maidenhood. Her new servant, Trolla Bork, had warned her often of this. "When Bork was drowned,"
she said, "I went back to my parents, but I did not go back to my home. No, indeed! There is a difference, even where there is no unkindness. Thy own home is a full cup. Weep, if thou must weep, at thy own fireside."