That you are for ever in our thoughts you will not doubt. I see your mournful party in my mind"s eye under every varying circ.u.mstance of the day; and in the evening especially figure to myself its sad gloom: the efforts to talk, the frequent summons to melancholy orders and cares, and poor Edward, restless in misery, going from one room to another, and perhaps not seldom upstairs, to see all that remains of his Elizabeth.
There must be a letter missing between October 15 and October 24, containing Jane"s first comment on the offer of a cottage at Chawton, made by Edward Austen to his mother. In the midst of his grief--perhaps, in consequence of his loss--he wished to bind his mother and sisters more closely to himself. He gave them a choice between a house near G.o.dmersham, and one at Chawton; but the mother and sisters were what Jane afterwards called "Hampshire-born Austens," and clung to their county. The offer was particularly opportune, for Mrs. Austen was already hesitating between Kent and Hampshire as a place of residence.
The attractions of a home at Chawton became greater the more they were considered; and though it was held to be necessary to consult the Frank Austens, whom they would be leaving, no doubt was entertained as to their answer.
Castle Square: Monday [October 24, 1808].
MY DEAR Ca.s.sANDRA,--Edward and George came to us soon after seven on Sat.u.r.day, very well, but very cold, having by choice travelled on the outside, and with no great coat but what Mr. Wise, the coachman, good-naturedly spared them of his, as they sat by his side. They were so much chilled when they arrived, that I was afraid they must have taken cold; but it does not seem at all the case; I never saw them looking better.
_They behave extremely well_ in every respect, showing quite as much feeling as one wishes to see, and on every occasion speaking of their father with the liveliest affection. His letter was read over by each of them yesterday, and with many tears; George sobbed aloud, Edward"s tears do not flow so easily; but as far as I can judge they are both very properly impressed by what has happened. Miss Lloyd, who is a more impartial judge than I can be, is exceedingly pleased with them.
George is almost a new acquaintance to me, and I find him in a different way as _engaging as Edward_.
We do not want amus.e.m.e.nt: bilbocatch,[183] at which George is indefatigable, spillikins, paper ships, riddles, conundrums, and cards, with watching the flow and ebb of the river, and now and then a stroll out, keep us well employed; and we mean to avail ourselves of our kind papa"s consideration, by not returning to Winchester till quite the evening of Wednesday.
The _St. Albans_, I find, sailed on the very day of my letters reaching Yarmouth, so that we must not expect an answer[184] at present; we scarcely feel, however, to be in suspense, or only enough to keep our plans to ourselves. We have been obliged to explain them to our young visitors, in consequence of f.a.n.n.y"s letter, but we have not yet mentioned them to Steventon. We are all quite familiarised to the idea ourselves; my mother only wants Mrs. Seward to go out at Midsummer.
What sort of a kitchen garden is there? Mrs. J. A.
expresses her fear of our settling in Kent, and, till this proposal was made, we began to look forward to it here; my mother was actually talking of a house at Wye. It will be best, however, as it is.
I hope your sorrowing party were at church yesterday, and have no longer _that_ to dread.
Martha was kept at home by a _cold, but I went with my two nephews, and I saw Edward was much affected by the sermon, which, indeed, I could have supposed purposely addressed_ to the afflicted, if the text had not naturally come in the course of Dr. Mant"s[185] observations on the Litany: "All that are in danger, necessity, or tribulation," was the subject of it. The weather did not allow us afterwards to get farther than the quay, where George was very happy as long as we could stay, flying about from one side to the other, and skipping on board a collier immediately.
In the evening we had the Psalms and Lessons, and a sermon at home, to which they were very attentive; but you will not expect to hear that they did not return to conundrums the moment it _was over_.
While I write now, George is most industriously making and naming paper ships, at which he afterwards shoots with horse-chestnuts, brought from Steventon on purpose; and Edward equally intent over the _Lake of Killarney_, twisting himself about in one of our great chairs.
_Tuesday._--The day began cheerfully, but it is not likely to continue what it should, for them or for us. _We had a little water party_ yesterday; I and my two nephews went from the Itchen Ferry up to Northam, where we landed, looked into the 74, and walked home, and it was so much enjoyed that I had intended to take them to Netley to-day; the tide is just right for our going immediately after moonshine,[186] but I am afraid there will be rain; if we cannot get so far, however, we may perhaps go round from the ferry to the quay.
I had not proposed doing more than cross the Itchen yesterday, but it proved so pleasant, and so much to the satisfaction of all, that when we reached the middle of the stream we agreed to be rowed up the river; both the boys rowed great part of the way, and their questions and remarks, as well as their enjoyment, were very amusing; George"s enquiries were endless, and his eagerness in everything reminds me often _of his Uncle Henry_.
Our evening was equally agreeable in its way: I introduced _speculation_,[187] and it was so much approved that we hardly knew how to leave off.
Of Chawton I think I can have nothing more to say, but that everything you say about it in the letter now before me will, I am sure, as soon as I am able to read it to her, make my mother consider the plan with more and more pleasure.
Sunday [November 21, 1808].
Your letter, my dear Ca.s.sandra, obliges me to write immediately, that you may have the earliest notice of Frank"s intending, if possible, to go to G.o.dmersham exactly at the time now fixed for your visit to Goodnestone.
Your news of Edward Bridges[188] was _quite_ news, for I have had no letter from Wrotham. I wish him happy with all my heart, and hope his choice may turn out according to his own expectations, and beyond those of his family; and I dare say it will. Marriage is a great improver, and in a similar situation Harriet may be as amiable as Eleanor. As to money, that will come, you may be sure, because they cannot do without it. When you see him again, pray give him our congratulations and best wishes. This match will certainly set John and Lucy going.
There are six bedchambers at Chawton; Henry wrote to my mother the other day, and luckily mentioned the number, which is just what we wanted to be a.s.sured of. He speaks also of garrets for store places, one of which she immediately planned fitting up for Edward"s man servant; and now perhaps it must be for our own; for she is already quite reconciled to our keeping one. The difficulty of doing without one had been thought of before. His name shall be Robert, if you please.
Yes, the Stoneleigh business is concluded, but it was not till yesterday that my mother was regularly informed of it, though the news had reached us on Monday evening by way of Steventon.
Our brother[189] we may perhaps see in the course of a few days, and we mean to take the opportunity of his help to go one night to the play. Martha ought to see the inside of the theatre once while she lives in Southampton, and I think she will hardly wish to take a second view.
How could you have a wet day on Thursday? With us it was a prince of days, the most delightful we have had for weeks; soft, bright, with a brisk wind from the south-west; everybody was out and talking of spring, and Martha and I did not know how to turn back. On Friday evening we had some very blowing weather--from 6 to 9, I think we never heard it worse, even here. And one night we had so much rain that it forced its way again into the store closet, and though the evil was comparatively slight and the mischief nothing, I had some employment the next day in drying parcels, &c. I have now moved still more out of the way.
Adieu! remember me affectionately to everybody, and believe me,
Ever yours, J. A.
The home at Chawton was now looked upon as a certainty; though none of its future inhabitants inspected it until February 1809, when Ca.s.sandra visited it on her way back from G.o.dmersham.
It was some years since they had lived in the country, and their future home was likely to be very quiet; so, as Jane recovered her spirits, she determined to crowd into her remaining months at Southampton as much society and amus.e.m.e.nt as possible. She went to two of the Southampton a.s.semblies--her last recorded appearances as an active ball-goer.
Castle Square: Friday [December 9, 1808].
MY DEAR Ca.s.sANDRA,--Soon after I had closed my last letter to you we were visited by Mrs. d.i.c.kens and her sister-in-law, Mrs. Bertie, the wife of a lately-made Admiral. Mrs. F. A., I believe, was their first object, but they put up with us very kindly, and Mrs. D. finding in Miss Lloyd a friend of Mrs. Dundas, had another motive for the acquaintance. She seems a really agreeable woman--that is, her manners are gentle, and she knows a great many of our connections in West Kent. Mrs. Bertie lives in the Polygon, and was out when we returned her visit, which are _her_ two virtues.
A larger circle of acquaintance, and an increase of amus.e.m.e.nt, is quite in character with our approaching removal. Yes, I mean to go to as many b.a.l.l.s as possible, that I may have a good bargain.
Everybody is very much concerned at our going away, and everybody is acquainted with Chawton, and speaks of it as a remarkably pretty village, and everybody knows the house we describe, but n.o.body fixes on the right.
I am very much obliged to Mrs. Knight for such a proof of the interest she takes in me, and she may depend upon it that I _will_ marry Mr.
Papillon,[190] whatever may be his reluctance or my own. I owe her much more than such a trifling sacrifice.
Our ball was rather more amusing than I expected.
Martha liked it very much, and I did not gape till the last quarter of an hour. It was past nine before we were sent for, and not twelve when we returned. The room was tolerably full, and there
# were, perhaps, thirty couple of dancers. The melancholy part was, to see so many dozen young women standing by without partners, and each of them with two ugly naked shoulders.
It was the same room in which we danced fifteen years ago. I thought it all over, and in spite of the shame of being so much older, felt with thankfulness that I was quite as happy now as then. We paid an additional shilling for our tea, which we took as we chose in an adjoining and very comfortable room.
There were only four dances, and it went to my heart that the Miss Lances (one of them, too, named Emma) should have partners only for two. You will not expect to hear that _I_ was asked to dance, but I was--by the gentleman whom we met _that Sunday_ with Captain D"Auvergne. We have always kept up a bowing acquaintance since, and, being pleased with his black eyes, I spoke to him at the ball, which brought on me this civility; but I do not know his name, and he seems so little at home in the English language, that I believe his black eyes may be the best of him. Captain D"Auvergne has got a ship.
Having now cleared away my smaller articles of news, I come to a communication of some weight: no less than that my uncle and aunt[191] are going to allow James 100 a year. We hear of it through Steventon. Mary sent us the other day an extract from my aunt"s letter on the subject, in which the donation is made with the greatest kindness, and intended as a compensation for his loss in the conscientious refusal of Hampstead living; 100 a year being all that he had at the time called its worth, as I find it was always intended at Steventon to divide the real income with Kintbury.[192]