7、Fraud, a Bar, and the G.o.d of Pig Farmers (A-side)
"Sir, you"ve been had."
Those benevolent words came from the so-called G.o.d.
On my way back from the clothes shop, I got in line for some fried meat skewers (128 Karma) when a G.o.d had something to say me. He resembled Cho Hakkai, the pig demon from the Journey to the West picture books.
Despite it still being daytime, he randomly invited me to enter a bar and have the two of us drink.
"So I"ve been had?"
"That"s right. "Even though you’re an Evil G.o.d, you’ll need this extra 500,000 Karma" is what they probably said."
"That"s what the Old Lady in the Great Beyond told me...."
The guy laughed like a brat. As I thought, he"s like Cho Hakkai.I don"t care that much, but is it okay for a G.o.d to eat a pork skewer?"Now see here, Hirano Bonta-kun. That"s just what they"re required to say when someone becomes an Evil G.o.d. In truth, you don"t really need that much Karma. A basic Evil G.o.d package, how do you say it, comes fully loaded with a bunch of powers you don"t need, like bloatware. For instance, "When I say something important, thunder will resound in the heavens" kind of power costs 500,000 Karma to use, see?"
Whaaaat, I had no idea.
If I was alive I never would have made that mistake, but I had no idea someone would try to swindle me like that in the afterlife.
From what I heard in the Great Beyond, I had thought this world would be free of such nonsense.
"Roughly, it"s like this. The credit union that loaned Hirano Bonta-kun the Karma and the person you spoke to are connected behind the scenes.
"That"s some shady business."
"Yeah, greed is as greed does. Reincarnating as an Evil G.o.d...for a normal reincarnation you would only need about 100,000,000 Karma."
"100,000,000 that"s...only a fifth?!"
That"s horrible. Charging that horrendous amount, it"s not bad luck, it"s just terrible.
Too horrible for words.
"Don"t sulk just yet. A debt of 500,000,000 isn"t easy to pay back by yourself as an Evil G.o.d..."
"...Eh?"
"What, you didn"t know? As an Evil G.o.d, the dogma you collect on isn"t Good Deeds (Karma), you know?"
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This is bad.
My retirement plan of a life of laziness and the World Domination plan with Drake...they’ve fallen apart almost immediately.
According to the G.o.d, the dogma of an Evil G.o.d is gained through horrible acts, but you can"t get any karma by doing that. It won"t take away Karma at least. This sucks so bad.Now I have no choice but to earn that precious Karma by myself through Good Deeds, and aim for a steady income somehow. For that steady income, it"ll be a government stipend from the Divine Domain.
"As a new G.o.d, you"re Lower Junior First Rank, right? Every month you"ll receive 70,000 Karma after taxes. Saving up 500,000,000 is hard, right?"
"Hard or not...that"ll take 7,143 months!”
TL Note: Almost 600 years...you got cheated so bad D8 - Taxes...wha-Frost
"And that"s without food or drinks."
"FML."
He"s right.
After coming into the bar I understood, the food here is delicious.
As an Evil G.o.d I won"t die if I don"t eat or drink, but I still wanna be able to eat food.
I want to buy clothes, and I hear you can even buy homes in the Celestial Realm. I gotta do something about this.
“Well, the best thing you can do right now is gather a bunch of believers and collect a bunch of offerings."
"What do I do after I collect them?"
"Of course, you should do like me, -sama, and sell them all in the Celestial Realm. This shop here is mine after all.""Eh?"
That"s a surprise.
In fact, I didn"t think he"d be such a big deal for a G.o.d and underestimated him.
But he has offerings.
If this guy is right, he must know a way to rake in the Karma.Having said that, with Drake only having 200 subordinates there"s no way I can expect any considerable amount of offerings.
What can I do with so few?
"Honestly, I"ve got so much free time, giving advice to new G.o.ds like yourself is just one way to pa.s.s it."
"Thank you so much."
In the end, my meal was on the house. Or rather, it was free because it was provided by the owner.
He told me if anything comes up to contact him, and gave me his contact information.
Still, what am I gonna do from here on out?
In any case, I just gotta make it work somehow with Drake. Thinking about it is an uphill battle.