It was just like that with me and my nose. I don"t remember whether it was at the fifth or sixth blow that the door opened, and Benny "_Polkovoi_" came in. The boys freed me at once, and remained standing like blocks of wood. Benny took them in hand, one by one. He caught each boy by the ear, twisted it round, and said:
"Well, now you will know what it means to meddle with a widow"s boy."
From that day the boys did not touch either me or my nose. They were afraid to begin with the widow"s boy whom Benny had taken under his wing, into his guardianship, under his protection.
"The widow"s boy"--- I had no other name at "_Cheder_." This was because my mother was a widow. She supported herself by her own work. She had a little shop in which were, for the most part, so far as I can remember, chalk and locust-beans--the two things that sell best in Mazapevka.
Chalk is wanted for white-washing the houses, and locust-beans are a luxury. They are sweet, and they are light in weight, and they are cheap. Schoolboys spend on them all the money they get for breakfast and dinner. And the shopkeepers make a good profit out of them. I could never understand why my mother was always complaining that she could hardly make enough to pay the rent and my school-fees. Why school-fees?
What about the other things a human being needs, food and clothes and boots, for example? She thought of nothing but the school-fees. "When the Lord punished me," she wailed, "and took my husband from me--and such a husband!--and left me all alone, I want my son to be a scholar, at any rate." What do you say to that? Do you think she did not come frequently to the "_Cheder_" to find out how I was getting on? I say nothing of the prayers she took good care I should recite every morning.
She was always lecturing me to be even half as good as my father--peace be unto him! And whenever she looked at me, she said I was exactly like him--may I have longer years than he! And her eyes grew moist. Her face grew curiously careworn, and had a mournful expression.
I hope he will forgive me, I mean my father, from the other world, but I could not understand what sort of a man he had been. From what my mother told of him, he was always either praying or studying. Had he never been drawn, like me, out into the open, on summer mornings, when the sun was not burning yet, but was just beginning to show in the sky, marching rapidly onwards, a fiery angel, in a fiery chariot, drawn by fiery horses, into whose brilliant, burning, guinea-gold faces it was impossible to look? I ask you what taste have the week-day prayers on such a morning? What sort of a pleasure is it to sit and read in a stuffy room, when the golden sun is burning, and the air is hot as an iron frying-pan? At such a time, you are tempted to run down the hill, to the river--the beautiful river that is covered with a green slime. A peculiar odour, as of a warm bath, comes from the distance. You want to undress and jump into the warm water. Under the trees it is cool and the mud is soft and slippery. And the curious insects that live at the bottom of the river whirl around and about before your eyes. And curious, long-legged flies slip and slide on the surface of the water.
At such a time one desires to swim over to the other side--over to where the green flags grow, their yellow and white stalks shimmering in the sun. A green, fresh fern looks up at you, and you go after it, plash-plash into the water, hands down, and feet up, so that people might think you were swimming. I ask you again, what pleasure is it to sit in a little room on a summer"s evening, when the great dome of the sky is dropping over the other side of the town, lighting up the spire of the church, the shingle roofs of the baths, and the big windows of the synagogue. And on the other side of the town, on the common, the goats are bleating, and the lambs are frisking, the dust rising to the heavens, the frogs croaking. There is a tearing and a shrieking and a tumult as at a regular fair. Who thinks of praying at such a time? But if you talk to my mother, she will tell you that her husband--peace be unto him!--did not succ.u.mb to temptations. He was a different sort of a man. What sort of a man he was I do not know--asking his pardon. I only know that my mother annoys me very much. She reminds me every minute that I had a father; and throws it into my teeth that she has to pay my school-fees for me. For this she asks only two things of me--that I should learn diligently, and say my prayers willingly.
It could not be said that the widow"s boy did not learn well. He was not in any way behind his comrades. But I cannot guarantee that he said his prayers willingly. All children are alike. And he was as mischievous as any other boy. He, like the rest, was fond of running away and playing, though there is not much to be said of the play of Jewish children. They tie a paper bag to a cat"s tail so that she may run through the house like mad, smashing everything in her way. They lock the women"s portion of the synagogue from the outside on Friday nights, so that the women may have to be rescued. They nail the teacher"s shoes to the floor, or seal his beard to the table with wax when he is asleep. But oh, how many thrashings do they get when their tricks are found out! It may be gathered that everything must have an originator, a commander, a head, a leader who shows the way.
Our leader, our commander was Benny "_Polkovoi_." From him all things originated; and on our heads were the consequences. Benny, of the fat face and red, fishy eyes, always managed to escape scot free from the sc.r.a.pes. He was always innocent as a dove. Whatever tricks or mischief we did, we always got the idea from Benny. Who taught us to smoke cigarettes in secret, letting the smoke out through our nostrils? Benny.
Who told us to slide on the ice, in winter, with the peasant-boys?
Benny. Who taught us to gamble with b.u.t.tons--to play "odd or even," and lose our breakfasts and dinners? Benny. He was up to every trick, and taught us them all. He won our last "_groschens_" from us. And when it came to anything, Benny had disappeared. Playing was to us the finest thing in the world. And for playing we got the severest thrashings from our teacher. He said he would tear out of us the desire to play.
"Play in my house? You will play with the Angel of Death," said the teacher. And he used to empty our pockets of everything, and thrash us most liberally.
But there was one week of the year when we were allowed to play. Why do I say allowed? It was a righteous thing to play then.
And that week was the week of "Chanukah." And we played with spinning-tops.
It is true that the games of cards--bridge and whist, for example--which are played at "_Chanukah_" nowadays have more sense in them than the old game of spinning-tops. But when the play is for money, it makes no difference what it is. I once saw two peasant-boys beating one another"s heads against the wall. When I asked them why they were doing this, if they were out of their minds, they told me to go my road. They were playing a game, for money, which of them would get tired the soonest of having his head banged on the wall.
The game of spinning-tops that have four corners, each marked with a letter of the alphabet, and are like dice, is very exciting. One can lose one"s soul playing it. It is not so much the loss of the money as the annoyance of losing. Why should the other win? Why should the top fall on the letter G for him, and on the N for you? I suppose you know what the four letters stand for? N means no use. H means half. B means bad. And G means good. The top is a sort of lottery. Whoever is fortunate wins. Take, for example, Benny "_Polkovoi_." No matter how often he spins the top, it always falls on the letter G.
The boys said it was curious how Benny won. They kept putting down their money. He took on their bets. What did he care? He was a rich boy.
"G again. It"s curious," they cried, and again opened their purses and staked their money. Benny whirled the top. It spun round and round, and wobbled from side to side, like a drunkard, and fell down.
"G," said Benny.
"G, G. Again G. It"s extraordinary," said the boys, scratching their heads and again opening their purses.
The game grew more exciting. The players grew hot, staked their money, crushed one another, and dug one another in the ribs to get nearer the table, and called each other peculiar names--"Black Tom-cat! Creased Cap! Split Coat!" and the like. They did not see the teacher standing behind them, in his woollen cap and coat, and carrying his "_Tallis_"
and "_Tephilin_" under his arm. He was going to the synagogue to say his prayers, and seeing the crowd of excited boys, he drew near to watch the play. This day he does not interfere. It is "_Chanukah_." We are free for eight days on end, and may play as much as we like. But we must not fight, nor pull one another by the nose. The teacher"s wife took her sickly child in her arms, and stood at her husband"s shoulder, watching the boys risk their money, and how Benny took on all the bets. Benny was excited, burning, aflame, ablaze. He twirled the top. It spun round and round, wobbled and fell down.
"G all over again. It"s a regular pantomime."
Benny showed us his smartness and his quick-wittedness so long, until our pockets were empty. He thrust his hands in his pockets, as if challenging us--"Well, who wants more?"
We all went home. We carried away with us the heartache and the shame of our losses. When we got home, we had to tell lies to account for the loss of the money we had been given in honour of "_Chanukah_." One boy confessed he had spent his on locust-beans. Another said the money had been stolen out of his pocket the previous night. A third came home crying. He said he had bought himself a pocket-knife. Well, why was he crying? He had lost the knife on his way home.
I told my mother a fine story--a regular "Arabian Nights" tale, and got out of her a second "_Chanukah_" present of ten "_groschens_." I ran off with them to Benny, played for five minutes, lost to him, and flew back home, and told my mother another tale. In a word, brains were at work and heads were busy inventing lies. Lies flew about like chaff in the wind. And all our "_Chanukah_" money went into Benny"s pockets, and was lost to us for ever.
One of the boys became so absorbed in the play that he was not satisfied to lose only his "_Chanukah_" money, but went on gambling through the whole eight days of the festival.
And that boy was no other than myself, "the widow"s son."
You must not ask where the widow"s boy got the money to play with. The great gamblers of the world who have lost and won fortunes, estates and inheritances--they will know and understand. Woe is me! May the hour never be known on which the evil spirit of gambling takes hold of one!
There is nothing too hard for him. He breaks into houses, gets through iron walls, and does the most terrible thing imaginable. It"s a name to conjure with--the spirit of gambling.
First of all, I began to make money by selling everything I possessed, one thing after the other, my pocket-knife, my purse, and all my b.u.t.tons. I had a box that opened and closed, and some wheels of an old clock--good bra.s.s wheels that shone like the sun when they were polished. I sold them all at any price, flew off, and lost all my money to Benny. I always left him with a heart full of wounds and the bitterest annoyance, and greatly excited. I was not angry with Benny.
G.o.d forbid! What had I against him? How was he to blame if he always won at play? If the top fell on the G for me, he said, I should win. If it falls on the G for him, then he wins. And he is quite right. No, I am only sorry for myself, for having run through so much money--my mother"s hard-earned "_groschens_," and for having made away with all my things.
I was left almost naked. I even sold my little prayer-book. O that prayer-book, that prayer-book! When I think of it, my heart aches, and my face burns with shame. It was an ornament, not a book. My mother bought it of Pethachiah the pedlar, on the anniversary of my father"s death. And it was a book of books--a good one, a real good one, thick, and full of everything. It had every prayer one could mention, the "Song of Songs," the Ethics of the Fathers, and the Psalms, and the "_Haggadah_," and all the prayers of the whole year round. Then the print and the binding, and the gold lettering. It was full of everything, I tell you. Each time Pethachiah the pedlar came round with his cut moustache that made his careworn face appear as if it was smiling--each time he came round and opened his pack outside the synagogue door, I could not take my eyes off that prayer-book.
"What would you say, little boy?" asked Pethachiah, as if he did not know that I had my eyes on the prayer-book, and had had it in my hands seventeen times, each time asking the price of it.
"Nothing," I replied. "Just so!" And I left him, so as not to be tempted.
"Ah, mother, you should see the fine thing Pethachiah the pedlar has."
"What sort of a thing?" asked my mother.
"A little prayer-book. If I had such a prayer-book, I would--I don"t know myself what I would do."
"Haven"t you got a prayer-book? And where is your father"s prayer-book?"
"You can"t compare them. This is an ornament, and my book is only a book."
"An ornament?" repeated my mother. "Are there then more prayers in an ornamental book, or do the prayers sound better?"
Well, how can you explain an ornament to your mother--a really fine book with red covers, and blue edges, and a green back?
"Come," said my mother to me, one evening, taking me by the hand. "Come with me to the synagogue. Tomorrow is the anniversary of your father"s death. We will bring candles to be lit for him, and at the same time we will see what sort of a prayer-book it is that Pethachiah has."
I knew beforehand that on the anniversary of the death of my father, I could get from my mother anything I asked for, even to the little plate from heaven, as the saying is. And my heart beat with joy.
When we got to the synagogue, we found Pethachiah with his pack still unopened. You must know Pethachiah was a man who never hurried. He knew very well he was the only man at the fair. His customers would never leave him. Before he opened his pack and spread out his goods, it took a year. I trembled, I shook. I could hardly stand on my feet. And he did not care. It was as if we were not talking to him at all.
"Let me see what sort of a prayer-book it is you have," said my mother.
Pethachiah had plenty of time. The river was not on fire. Slowly, without haste, he opened his pack, and spread out his wares--big Bibles, little prayer-books for men, and for women, big Psalm books and little, and books for all possible occasions, without an end. Then there were books of tales from the "_Talmud_," tales of the "_Bal-shem-tov_," books of sermons, and books of devotion. I imagined he would never run short.
He was a well, a fountain. At last he came to the little books, and handed out the one I wanted.
"Is this all?" asked my mother. "Such a little one."
"This little one is dearer than a big one," answered Pethachiah.