"We"ll see. Come inside with me, Marga; we"ll go to jail together. But I think I"ve figured out how to handle this without going to jail." I took out one treasury note, crumpled it, and tore one corner. Then we went into the bank together, me holding it in my hand as if I had just picked it up. I did not go to a teller"s window; instead I went to that railing behind which bark officials sit at their desks.
I leaned on the railing and spoke to the man nearest to it; his desk sign marked him as a.s.sistant manager. "Excuse me, sir! Can you answer a question for me?"
He looked annoyed but his reply did not show it. "I"ll try. What"s on your mind?"
"Is this really money? Or is it stage money, or something?"
He looked at it, then looked more closely. "Interesting. Where did you get this?"
"My wife found it on a sidewalk. Is it money?"
"Of course it"s not money. Whoever heard of a twenty-dollar note? Stage money, probably Or an advertising promotion."
"Then it"s not worth anything?"
"It"s worth the paper it"s printed on, that"s all. I doubt that it could even be called counterfeit, since there has been no effort to make it look like the real thing. Still, the Treasury inspectors will want to see it."
"All right. Can you take care of it?"
"Yes. But they"ll want to talk to you, I"m sure. Let"s get your name and address. And your wife"s, of course, since she found it."
"Okay. I want a receipt for it." I gave our names as "Mr and Mrs Alexander Hergensheimer" and gave the address - but not the name - of Ron"s Grill. Then I solemnly accepted a receipt.
Once outside on the sidewalk I said, "Well, we"re no worse off than we thought we were. Time for me to look for some dirty dishes."
"Alec -"
"Yes, beloved?"
"We were going to Kansas."
"So we were. But our bus-fare money is not worth the paper it is printed on. I"ll have to earn some more. I can. I did it once, I can do it again."
"Alec. Let us now go to Kansas."
A half hour later we were walking north on the highway Tucson. Whenever anyone pa.s.sed us, I signalled our hope of being picked up.
It took us three hitches simply to reach Tucson. At Tucson it would have made equal sense to head east toward El Paso, Texas, as to continue on Route 89, as 89 swings west before it goes north to Phoenix. It was settled for us by the chance that the first lift we were able to beg out of Tucson was with a teamster who was taking a load north.
This ride we were able to pick up at a truckers" stop at the intersection of 89 and 80, and I am forced to admit that the teamster listened to our plea because Margrethe is the beauty she is - had I been alone I might still be standing there. I might as well say right now that this whole trip depended throughout on Margrethe"s beauty and womanly charm quite as much as it depended on my willingness to do any honest work whatever, no matter how menial, dirty, or difficult.
I found this fact unpleasant to face. I held dark thoughts of Potiphar"s wife and of the story of Susanna and the Elders. I found myself being vexed with Margrethe when her only offense lay in being her usual gracious, warm, and friendly self. I came close to telling her not to smile at strangers and to keep her eyes to herself.
That temptation hit me sharpest that first day at sundown when this same trucker stopped at a roadside oasis centered around a restaurant and a fueling facility. "I"m going to have a couple of beers and a sirloin steak," he announced. "How about you, Maggie baby? Could you use a rare steak? This is the place where they just chase the cow through the kitchen."
She smiled at, him. "Thank you, Steve. But, I"m not hungry."
My darling was telling an untruth. She knew it, I knew it - and I felt sure that Steve knew it. Our last meal had been breakfast at the mission, eleven hours and a universe ago. I had tried to wash dishes for a meal at the truckers" stop outside Tucson, but had been dismissed rather abruptly. So we had had nothing all day but water from a public drinking faucet.
"Don"t try to kid your grandmother, Maggie. We"ve been on the road four hours. You"re hungry."
I spoke up quickly to keep Margrethe from persisting in an untruth - told, I felt certain, on my behalf. "What she means, Steve, is that she doesn"t accept dinner invitations from other men. She expects me to provide her dinner." I added, "But I thank you on her behalf and we both thank you for the ride. It"s been most pleasant."
We were still seated in the cab of his truck, Margrethe in the middle. He leaned forward and looked around her. "Alec, you, think I"m trying to get into Maggie"s pants, don"t you?"
I answered stiffly that I did not think anything of the sort while thinking privately that that was exactly what I thought he had been trying to accomplish all along... and I resented not only his unchivalrous overtures but also the gross language he had just used. But I had learned the hard way that rules of polite speech in the world in which I had grown up were not necessarily rules in another universe
"Oh, yes, you do think so. I wasn"t born yesterday and a lot of my life has been spent on the road, getting my illusions knocked out. You think I"m trying to lay your woman because every stud who comes along tries to put the make on her. But let me clue you in, son. I don"t knock when there"s n.o.body at home. And I can always tell. Maggie ain"t having any. I checked that out hours ago. And "congratulations; a faithful woman is good to find. Isn"t that true?"
"Yes, certainly," I agreed grudgingly.
"So get your feathers down". You"re about to take your wife to dinner. You"ve already said thank you to me for the ride but why don"t you really thank me by inviting me to dinner? - so I won"t have to eat alone."
I hope that I did not look dismayed and that my instant of hesitation was not noticeable. "Certainly, Steve. We owe you that for your kindness. Uh, will you excuse me while I make some arrangements?" I started to get out of the cab.
"Alec, you don"t lie any better than Maggie does."
"Excuse me?"
"You think I"m blind? You"re broke. Or, if you aren"t absolutely stony, you are so near flat you can"t afford to buy me a sirloin steak. Or even the blueplate special."
"That is true," I answered with - I hope - dignity. "The arrangements I must make are with the restaurant manager. I hope to exchange dishwashing for the price of three dinners."
"I thought so. If you were just ordinary broke, you"d be riding Greyhound and you"d have some baggage. If you were broke but not yet hungry broke, you"d hitchhike to save your money for eating but you would have some sort of baggage. A kiester each, or at least a bindle. But you"ve got no baggage... and you"re both wearing suits - in the desert, for G.o.d"s sake! The signs all spell disaster."
I remained mute.
"Now look," he went on. "Possibly the owner of this joint would let you wash dishes. More likely he"s got three wetbacks pearl-diving this very minute and has turned down at least three more already today; this is on the main north-south route of turistas coming through holes in the Fence. In any case I can"t wait while you wash dishes; I"ve got to herd this rig a lot of miles yet tonight. So I"ll make you a deal. You take me to dinner but I lend you the money."
"I"m a poor risk."
"Nope, you"re a good risk. What the bankers call a character loan, the very best risk there is. Sometime, this coming year, or maybe twenty years from now, you"ll run across another young couple, broke and hungry. You"ll buy them dinner on the same, terms. That pays me back. Then when they do the same, down the line, that pays you back. Get it?"
"I"ll pay you back sevenfold!"
"Once is enough. After that you do it for your own pleasure. Come on, let"s eat."
Rimrock Restop restaurant was robust rather than fancy - about on a par with Ron"s Grill in another world. It had both counter and tables. Steve led us to a table and shortly a fairly young and rather pretty waitress came over.
"Howdy, Steve! Long time."
Hi, Babe! How"d the rabbit test come out?"
"The rabbit died. How about your blood test?" She smiled at me and at Margrethe. "Hi, folks! What"ll you have?"
I had had time to glance at the menu, first down the right-hand side, of course - and was shocked at the prices. Shocked to find them back on the scale of the world I knew best, I mean. Hamburgers for a dime, coffee at five cents, table d"hote dinners at seventy-five to ninety cents -these prices I understood.
I looked at it and said, "May I have a cheese superburger, medium well?"