"This suited Captain Abner, and Sam went on to say: "There"ll be another good thing about that; if you get her and bring her back--"
""Which is what I"m goin" for and intend to do."
""Then," continued Sam, "you two could sit on the back seat, and I could sit in front and drive."
""Did you ever drive, Sam?" asked Captain Abner.
""Not yet; but I wouldn"t mind l"arnin"."
""But you won"t l"arn with me and her," said Captain Abner.
""How are you goin" to manage it, then?" asked Sam. "You won"t want me and her to sit on the back seat, and it wouldn"t look jes right for you an" her to be in front, and me behind all by myself, as if I was company."
""Don"t know," said Captain Abner. "We"ll get her fust, and then let her sit where she wants to."
""There"s one thing I wouldn"t like to see," said Sam Twitty, "and that"s you and me sittin" behind, and her a-drivin"."
""There won"t be none of that," said Captain Abner; "that ain"t my way.""
"Is that a good beginning?" asked the Master of the House, suddenly addressing his wife.
"Yes," she replied, "very good; and I see this is to be a real man"s story."
"And so it should be, mamma," said the Daughter of the House. "Men know more about men than they do about women."
"Don"t be too sure of that," said her father. "But no matter. The two friends started out on Monday morning after breakfast for Thompsontown.
Considerable delay was occasioned at the livery-stable by certain pieces of advice which Sam Twitty offered to Captain Abner. In the first place, he objected to a good black horse which had been attached to the wagon, giving it as his opinion that that looked too much like a funeral, and that a cheerful-colored horse would be much better adapted to a matrimonial expedition. A gray horse, slower than the black one, was subst.i.tuted, and Sam was quite satisfied. Then a great many things in the way of provisions and conveniences came into his mind which he thought would be well to take on the voyage, and he even insisted upon rigging up an extension at the back of the wagon on which her trunk could be carried on the home journey.
"At last they got away, and as they drove slowly out of the little village not one of the inhabitants thereof knew anything about their intended journey, except that they were going to Thompsontown; for Captain Abner and Sam Twitty would have as soon thought of boring a hole in the bottom of a boat in which they were to sail as of telling their neighbors they were going to look for her and to bring her back in that spring-wagon.
"The old gray horse jogged very comfortably over the smooth road until a toll-gate was perceived near by.
""Now, then, cap"n," said Sam, as they drew up in front of the little house by the roadside, "whatever you pay here you ought to charge to the expense of gettin" her."
""That"s so," said his companion; "but if she"s all right I ain"t goin"
to mind no tolls."
"A pleasant-faced woman now came to the door of the little house and stood expectant, while Captain Abner thrust his hand into his pocket.
""How much is it?" said he.
""It"s ten cents," said she.
"Then Sam Twitty, who did not wish to sit silent, remarked that it was a fine day, and the toll-gate woman said that indeed it was. Captain Abner was now looking at some small change in the palm of his hand.
""I ain"t got ten cents," said he. "Here"s only six, and I can"t sc.r.a.pe up another copper. Sam, can you lend me four cents?"
"Sam searched his pockets. "Haven"t got it," said he. "Them little things we bought jes afore we started cleaned me out of change."
""The same thing"s happened to me, too," said Abner; "and, madam, I"ll have to ask you to change a five-dollar note, which is the smallest I"ve got."
"The toll-gate woman said she was very sorry, but indeed she had not five dollars in change, either at the toll-gate or in the house where she lived just behind in a little garden. The day before she had had a good deal of change, but she had paid it all into the company.
""Then what are we goin" to do?" asked Sam. "I suppose you won"t let us go through without payin"?"
"The woman smiled and shook her head. "I couldn"t do that; it"s against the rules. Sometimes when people come along and find they have nothin"
to pay toll with they go back and get the money somewhere. It"s our rules, and if I broke them I might lose my place."
""Which we wouldn"t think of makin" you do," remarked Sam.
""But that"s one thing I can"t do," said Captain Abner. "I can"t turn round and go back. If the folks knew I was turned back because I couldn"t pay toll I"d never hear the end of it."
""That"s so," agreed Sam. "It would never do to go back."
"The toll woman stood and looked at them and smiled. She was a pleasant personage, not inclined to worry over the misfortunes of her fellow-beings.
""Isn"t there a place somewhere near here where I could get a note changed?" asked Abner.
""I can"t say," answered the toll woman. "I don"t believe any of the houses along the road has got five dollars in change inside of them, and even if you went across the country to any of the farm-houses, you wouldn"t be likely to find that much. But if you are not in a hurry and wouldn"t mind waitin", it"s as like as not that somebody will be along that"s got five dollars in change. You don"t seem to know this part of the country," she added.
""No," said Abner; "when me and my mate travels we generally take the public conveyances. This is the fust time we"ve druv on this road."
"Then up spoke Sam Twitty: "Does you and your husband live here and keep the toll-gate, ma"am?"
"The woman looked as though she thought the plump person a little inquisitive, but she smiled and answered, "My husband used to keep the toll-gate, but since he died I"ve kept it."
"Captain Abner looked troubled. "I don"t mind so much waitin" myself,"
said he, "but it"s the horse I"m thinkin" about. I promised I"d have him fed at twelve o"clock sharp every day I have him. He"s used to it, and I don"t want him givin" out afore I"m through with him."
""When horses is used to bein" fed at regular times," said the toll-gate woman, "they do show it if they don"t get fed. But, if you don"t mind, I"ve got a little stable back there, and some corn, and if you choose to drive your horse into the yard and give him a feed I"ll charge you jes what anybody else would. And while he"s a-feedin" most likely somebody"ll come along that"s got five dollars in change."
"For some minutes Sam Twitty had not said a word, but now he most earnestly advised his friend to accept this offer, and, jumping to the ground, he hurried to open the gate so that Captain Abner might drive in. Abner had not yet made up his mind upon the subject, but, as Sam stood there by the open gate, he drove in.
""Look a" here!" said Sam, as they stood by the stable door. "This is a jolly good go! Did you take notice of that toll-gate woman? She"s tiptop to look at. Did you see how clean she is, and what a nice way of smilin", an" a good deal of red in her cheeks, too, and jes about old enough, I should say, if I was called upon. And, more than that, I should say, judgin" from what I"ve seen of her, she"s as likely to be as accommodatin" as any person I ever did see that I had seed for so short a time. I jes put her into my mind a-goin" into your parlor and sayin"
that conch-sh.e.l.ls was jes what she liked on mantelpieces. And I could put her in jes as well with the gilded idol."
""You seem to do a lot of thinkin" in a mighty short time," said Abner.
"But what"s all that got to do with anything?"
""Do!" exclaimed Sam. "It"s got lots to do. Why wouldn"t she be a good one for _her_? I don"t believe you"d find a better one in Thompsontown."
""Sam Twitty!" exclaimed Abner, rather testily, "what are you talkin"
about? Do you suppose I"d paint and paper and clean up and furnish one side of my house for her, and then start out on a week"s cruise to look for her, and then take and put in her place and give everything I"ve been gettin" for her for so many years to the fust woman I meet, and she a toll-gate woman at that?""
The Frenchman, who had been listening with great apparent interest, now looked so inquiringly at the Master of the House that he paused in his story.
"Excuse my interrupt," he said apologetically; "but what is toll-gate woman?"
"My conscience!" exclaimed the captain, "you haven"t understood a word of my story!" He then proceeded to explain a toll-gate and its office and emoluments; but it was at once evident that the Frenchman knew all about the thing--he did not know the English words which expressed it; and he had a clear comprehension of the narrative.