I was conscious, even though I liked the reference to Samson, of being a little angered; but John Marvel looked so innocent and so hopelessly friendly that I pa.s.sed it by with a laugh and paid Miss Poole more attention than ever.
The Debater"s Medal had for a long time been, in the general estimation, as good as accorded me; for I was a fluent, and I personally thought, eloquent speaker, and had some reading. But when Wolffert entered the debate, his speeches so far outshone mine that I knew at once that I was beat. They appeared not so much prepared for show, as mine were, as to come from a storehouse of reading and reflection. Wolffert, who had begun to speak without any design of entering the contest for the Medal, would generously have retired, but I would not hear of that. I called Peck to account for a speech which I had heard of his making: that "the contest was between a Jew and a jug"; but he denied making it, so I lost even that satisfaction.
I worked for the Magazine Medal; but my "poems"--"To Cynthia" and "To Felicia," and my fanciful sketches, though they were thought fine by our set, did not, in the estimation of the judges, equal the serious and solemn essays on Julius Caesar and Alexander Hamilton, to which the prize was awarded. At least, the author of those essays had worked over them like a dog, and in the maturer light of experience, I think he earned the prizes.
I worked hard--at least, at the last, for my law degree, and every one was sure I would win--as sure as that Peck would lose; but Peck sc.r.a.ped through while mine was held up--because the night before the degrees were posted I insisted on proving to the professor who had my fate in his hands, and whom I casually ran into, that a "gentleman drunk was a gentleman sober," the idea having been suggested to my muddled brain by my having just been good-natured enough to put to bed Peck. I finally got the degree, but not until I had been through many tribulations, one of which was the sudden frost in Miss Poole"s manner to me. That girl was like autumn weather. She could be as warm as summer one minute and the next the thermometer would drop below the freezing point. I remember I was her escort the evening of the Final Ball. She looked like Juno with the flowers I had gone out in the country to get for her from an old garden that I knew. Her face was very high bred and her pose majestic. I was immensely proud of her and of myself as her escort--and as Peck stalked in with a new and ill-fitting suit of "store-clothes"
on, I fancy I put on my toppiest air. But Peck had a shaft and he came there to shoot it. As he pa.s.sed near us, he said in a loud voice to someone, "The B. L. list is posted."
"Are you through?" demanded the other.
"Yep."
"Anybody failed "t we expected to get through?"
""T depends on who you expected to get through. Glave"s not on it."
His shaft came home. I grew cold for a minute and then recovered myself.
I saw my partner"s face change. I raised my head and danced on apparently gayer than ever, though my heart was lead. And she played her part well, too. But a few minutes later when Peck strutted up, a decided c.o.c.k to his bullet head, I heard her, as I turned away, congratulate him on his success.
I slipped out and went over to the bulletin-board where the degree-men were posted, and sure enough, I was not among them. A curious crowd was still standing about and they stopped talking as I came up, so I knew they had been talking about me. I must say that all showed concern, and sympathy was written on every face. It was, at least, sweet to know that they all considered it a cursed shame, and set my failure down to hostility on the part of one of the professors. I was determined that no one should know how hard hit I was, and I carried my head high till the ball was out, and was so lofty with Miss Poole that she was mystified into being very receptive. I do not know what might have happened that night if it had not been for old John Marvel. I learned afterward that I was pretty wild. He found me when I was wildly denouncing the law professor who had failed to put me through in some minor course, and was vowing that I would smash in his door and force my diploma from him. I might have been crazy enough to attempt it had not old John gotten hold of me. He and Wolffert put me to bed and stayed with me till I was sober. And sober enough I was next day.
As I have said, I received my diploma finally; but I lost all the prestige and pleasure of receiving it along with my cla.s.s, and I pa.s.sed through some of the bitterest hours that a young man can know.
Among my friends at college--I might say among my warmest friends--was my old crony "Jeams," or, as he spoke of himself to those whom he did not regard as his social equals, or whom he wanted to amuse himself with, "Mister Woodson"; a little later changed to "Professor Woodson,"
as more dignified and consonant with the managing cla.s.s of the inst.i.tution. When I left for college he followed me, after a brief interval, and first appeared as a waiter at the college boarding-house where I boarded, having used my name as a reference, though at home he had never been nearer the dining-room than the stable. Here he was promptly turned out, and thereupon became a hanger-on of mine and a "Factotum" for me and my friends.
He was now a tall, slim fellow, with broad shoulders and the muscles of Atlas--almost but not quite black and with a laugh that would have wiled Cerberus. He had the shrewdness of a wild animal, and was as imitative as a monkey, and this faculty had inspired and enabled him to pick up all sorts of acquirements, ranging from reading and writing to sleight-of-hand tricks, for which he showed a remarkable apt.i.tude.
Moreover, he had a plenty of physical courage, and only needed to be backed by someone, on whom he relied, to do anything.
I was naturally attached to him and put up with his rascalities, though they often taxed me sorely, while he, on his part, was so sincerely attached to me, that I believe he would have committed any crime at my bidding.
He considered my old clothes his property, and what was far more inconvenient, considered himself the judge of the exact condition and moment when they should pa.s.s from my possession to his.
He was a handsome rascal, and took at times such pride in his appearance that, as he was about my size, I had often to exercise a close watch on my meagre wardrobe. He had not only good, but really distinguished manners, and, like many of his race, prided himself on his manners.
Thus, on an occasion when he pa.s.sed Peck at college, and touched his hat to him, a civility which Peck ignored, Wolffert said to him, "Jeams, Mr.
Peck don"t appear to recognize you."
"Oh! yes," said Jeams, "he recognizes me, but he don"t recognize what"s due from one gent"man to another."
"Are you going to keep on touching your hat to him?" asked Wolffert.
"Oh! yes, suh," said Jeams, "I takes keer o" my manners, and lets him take keer o" hisn"."
Such was "Jeams," my "body servant," as he styled himself, on occasions when he had an eye to some article of my apparel or stood in especial need of a donation.
He hated Peck with as much violence as his easygoing nature was capable of, and had no liking for Wolffert. The fact that the latter was a Jew and yet my friend, staggered him, though he put up with him for my sake, and on the night of my fight with Wolffert, I think he would, had he had a chance, have murdered him, as I am sure he would have murdered the professor who threw me on my degree. He got much fuller than I got that night, and his real grief and shame were among the heaviest burdens I had to bear.
Miss Poole returned home the next afternoon after the delivery of the diplomas, and I heard that Peck went off on the same train with her.
I expected some sympathy from the girl for whom my devotion had cost me so much; but she was as cool and sedate over my failure as if it had been Peck"s.
All she said was, "Why did not you win the honors?"
"Because I did not work enough for them."
"Why did not you work more?"
I came near saying, "Because I was fooling around you"; but I simply said, "Because I was so certain of winning them."
"You showed rather bad judgment." That was all the sympathy I received from her.
The old law professor when he took leave of me said--and I remember said it gravely--"Mr. Glave, you have the burden of too many gifts to carry."
I was pleased by the speech and showed it. He looked at me keenly from under his bushy eyebrows. "I commend to you the fable of the hare and the tortoise. We shall hear of Peck."
I wondered how he knew I was thinking of Peck with his common face, hard eyes, and stumpy legs.
"You shall hear of me, too," I declared with some haughtiness.
He only smiled politely and made no answer.
Nettled, I asked arrogantly, "Don"t you think I have more sense--more intellect than Peck?"
"More intellect--yes--much more.--More sense? No. Remember the fable.
"There are ways that you know not and paths that you have not tried.""
"Oh! that fable--it is as old as----"
"Humanity," he said. ""To scorn delights and live laborious days." You will never do that--Peck will."
I left him, angry and uncomfortable.
I had rather looked forward to going to the West to a near cousin of my father"s, who, if report were true, had made a fortune as a lawyer and an investor in a Western city. He and my father had been boys together, but my cousin had gone West and when the war came, he had taken the other side. My father, however, always retained his respect for him and spoke of him with affection. He had been to my home during my early college-life--a big, stolid, strong-faced man, silent and cold, but watchful and clear-minded--and had appeared to take quite a fancy to me.
"When he gets through," he had said to my father, "send him out to me.
That is the place for brains and ambition, and I will see what is in him for you."
Now that I had failed, I could not write to him; but as he had made a memorandum of my graduation year, and as he had written my father several times, I rather expected he would open the way for me. But no letter came. So I was content to go to the capital of the State.
VI
THE METEOR
I am convinced now that as parents are the most unselfish creatures, children are the veriest brutes on earth. I was too self-absorbed to think of my kind father, who had sacrificed everything to give me opportunities which I had thrown under the feet of Lilian Poole and who now consoled and encouraged me without a word of censure. Though I was deeply grieved at the loss of my parents, I did not know until years afterward what an elemental and life-long calamity that loss was.