Johnny Ludlow

Chapter 245

"She seems queerer than usual--I hope her mind"s not going," thought Susan. "Did you ever go to see Madame Caron, Jessy, while you were in London?"

"Never. Why should I? I didn"t know Madame Caron."

"When Marcus Allen wrote to excuse himself from visiting us in the summer, he said he would be sure to come later," resumed Susan. "I wonder if he will keep his promise."

"No--never," answered Jessy.

"How do you know?"

"Oh--I don"t think it. He wouldn"t care to come. Especially now he"s married."

"And you never saw him in town, Jessy? Never even met him by chance?"

"I"ve told you--No. Do you suppose I should be likely to call upon Marcus Allen? As to meeting him by chance, it is not often I went out, I can tell you."

"Well, sit up and take your breakfast," concluded Susan.

A thought had crossed Susan Page"s mind--whether this marriage of Marcus Allen"s on Christmas-Eve could have had anything to do with Jessy"s return and her miserable unhappiness. It was only a thought; and she drove it away again. As Abigail said, she had been inclined throughout to judge hardly of Jessy.

The winter snow lay on the ground still, when it became a question not of how many weeks Jessy would live, but of days. And then she confessed to a secret that pretty nearly changed the sober Miss Pages" hair from black to grey. Jessy had turned Roman Catholic.

It came out through her persistent refusal to see the parson, Mr.

Holland, a little man with shaky legs. He"d go trotting up to the Copse Farm once or twice a-week; all in vain. Miss Abigail would console him with a good hot jorum of sweet elder wine, and then he"d trot back again. One day Jessy, brought to bay, confessed that she was a Roman Catholic.

There was grand commotion. John Drench went about, his hands lifted in the frosty air; Abigail and Susan Page sat in the bedroom with (metaphorically speaking) ashes on their heads.

People have their prejudices. It was not so much that these ladies wished to cast reflection on good Catholics born and bred, as that Jessy should have abandoned her own religion, just as though it had been an insufficient faith. It was the slight on it that they could not bear.

"Miserable girl!" exclaimed Miss Susan, looking upon Jessy as a turncoat, and therefore next door to lost. And Jessy told, through her sobs, how it had come to pa.s.s.

Wandering about one evening in London when she was very unhappy, she entered a Catholic place of worship styled an "Oratory."--The Miss Pages caught up the word as "oratorio," and never called it anything else.--There a priest got into conversation with Jessy. He had a pleasant, kindly manner that won upon her and drew from her the fact that she was unhappy. Become a Catholic, he said to her; it would bring her back to happiness: and he asked her to go and see him again. She went again; again and again. And so, going and listening to him, she at length _did_ turn, and was received by him into his church.

"Are you the happier for it?" sharply asked Miss Abigail.

"No," answered Jessy with distressed eyes. "Only--only----"

"Only what, pray?"

"Well, they can absolve me from all sin."

"Oh, you poor foolish misguided child!" cried Abigail in anguish; "you must take your sins to the Saviour: He can absolve you, and He alone.

Do you want any third person to stand between you and Him?"

Jessy gave a sobbing sigh. "It"s best as it is, Abigail. Anyway, it is too late now."

"Stop a bit," cried sharp Miss Susan. "I should like to have one thing answered, Jessy. You have told us how hard you were kept to work: if that was so, pray how did you find leisure to be dancing abroad to Oratorios? Come?"

Jessy could not, or would not, answer.

"Can you explain that!" said Miss Susan, some sarcasm in her tone.

"I went out sometimes in an evening," faltered Jessy. And more than that could not be drawn from her.

They did not tell Mr. Page: it would have distressed him too much. In a day or two Jessy asked to see a priest. Miss Abigail flatly refused, on account of the scandal. As if their minister was not good enough!

One afternoon I was standing by Jessy"s bed--for Miss Abigail had let me go up to see her. Mrs. Todhetley, that first day, had said she looked like a lily: she was more like one now. A faded lily that has had all its beauty washed out of it.

"Good-bye, Johnny Ludlow," she said, opening her eyes, and putting out her feeble hand. "I shall not see you again."

"I hope you will, Jessy. I"ll come over to-morrow."

"Never again in this world." And I had to lean over to catch the words, and my eyes were full.

"In the next world there"ll be no parting, Jessy. We shall see each other there."

"I don"t know," she said. "You will be there, Johnny; I can"t tell whether I shall be. I turned Roman Catholic, you see; and Abigail won"t let a priest come. And so--I don"t know how it will be."

The words struck upon me. The Miss Pages had kept the secret too closely for news of it to have come abroad. It seemed worse to me to hear it than to her to say it. But she had grown too weak to feel things strongly.

"Good-bye, Johnny."

"Good-bye, Jessy dear," I whispered. "Don"t fear: G.o.d will be sure to take you to heaven if you ask Him."

Miss Abigail got it out of me--what she had said about the priest. In fact, I told. She was very cross.

"There; let it drop, Johnny Ludlow. John Drench is gone off in the gig to Coughton to bring one. All I hope and trust is, that they"ll not be back until the shades of night have fallen upon the earth! I shouldn"t like a priest to be seen coming into _this_ door. Such a reproach on good Mr. Holland! I"m sure I trust it will never get about!"

We all have our prejudices, I repeat. And not a soul amongst us for miles round had found it necessary to change religions since the Reformation.

Evening was well on when John Drench brought him in. A mild-faced man, wearing a skull-cap under his broad-brimmed hat. He saw Jessy alone.

Miss Page would not have made a third at the interview though they had bribed her to it--and of course they wouldn"t have had her. It was quite late when he came down. Miss Page stopped him as he was going out, after declining refreshment.

"I presume, sir, she has told you all about this past year--that has been so mysterious to us?"

"Yes; I think all," replied the priest.

"Will you tell me the particulars?"

"I cannot do that," he said. "They have been given to me under the seal of confession."

"Only to me and to her sister Susan," pleaded Abigail. "We will not even disclose it to our father. Sir, it would be a true kindness to us, and it can do her no harm. You do not know what our past doubts and distress have been."

But the priest shook his head. He was very sorry to refuse, he said, but the tenets of his Church forbade his speaking. And Miss Page thought he _was_ sorry, for he had a benevolent face.

"Best let the past lie," he gently added. "Suffice it to know that she is happy now, poor child, and will die in peace."

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