Q: Why doesn"t an Ess.e.x girl say much on her first date?
A: She doesn"t like to talk with her mouth full.
Q: Why did the Ess.e.x girl stand for Parliament?
A: She heard the House of Commons had a lot of members.
Q: Why do Ess.e.x girls only eat one third of their Mars bars?
A: Who needs to work or rest?
Q: Why do Ess.e.x girls prefer cars with adjustable steering wheels?
A: More headroom.
Q: What"s the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and Spud-U-Like?
A: Spud-U-Like has fewer fillings.
Q: What"s the difference between Ess.e.x girl and Directory Enquiries?
A: You can sometimes get through to Directory Enquiries.
Q: Why did the Ess.e.x girl enter for Wimbledon?
A: She thought the mixed doubles was a c.o.c.ktail drinking contest.
Q: What do you get if you cross an Ess.e.x girl with a computer?
A: A system that will always go down on you.
Q: Why does Ess.e.x Girl shave her armpits?
A: To stop her sticking to the Velcro fastenings in Wayne"s sh.e.l.l suit.
Q: What is an Ess.e.x girl"s idea of a really cla.s.sy meal?
A: A wooden chip-fork with her takeaway.
Q: What"s an Ess.e.x girl"s idea of romance?
A: A lift home afterwards.
Q: What"s the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and the England Cricket Team"s bowling?
A: Most men wouldn"t catch anything off the England Cricket Team"s bowling.
Q: What"s the difference between an Ess.e.x girl"s tights and a window cleaner?
A: A window cleaner has fewer ladders.
Q: Why is an Ess.e.x girl like a cinema-foyer hot dog?
A: You wouldn"t want your friends to catch you eating one.
Q: What"s the difference between and Ess.e.x Girl and the doggie on the parcel shelf of a car?
A: The doggie doesn"t nod its head as much.
Q: Why do Ess.e.x Girls always lose at Chess?
A: They can"t get over the fact that there isn"t any c.o.c.ktail sauce for the p.a.w.ns.
Q: What"s the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and the River Thames?
A: You"re less likely to catch something in the Thames.
Q: What"s the difference between Ess.e.x girl and the Man from Del Monte?
A: The man from Del Monte sometimes says No.
Q: Why are an Ess.e.x girl"s legs like margarine?
A: They spread easily.
Q: What"s the difference between Ess.e.x girl and a carpenter?
A: Ess.e.x girl has handled more tools.
Q: What"s the difference between Ess.e.x and Mars?
A: There might be intelligent life on Mars.
Q: What"s the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and a 20 Watt light bulb?
A: The 20 Watt light bulb is brighter.
Q: Why do Ess.e.x girls get married?
A: So they can appear in Readers" Wives.
Q: What"s the difference between Ess.e.x Girl and a mirror?
A: You can"t see through a mirror.
Q: What"s the difference between Ess.e.x girl and a condom?
A: You only use a condom once.
Q: What"s the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and h.e.l.ls Angels?
A: h.e.l.ls Angels wear originals.
Q: What"s the difference between Ess.e.x girl and an apple?
A: An apple is harder to eat.
Ess.e.x girls fixing their make-up in the ladies loos: Tracey: "Ere, Shaz, d"you fink I"m gettin" crows feet?
Sharon: Keep yer shoes on,Tray, then no-one will notice.
Q: What"s the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and a pine table?
A: It"s harder to strip a pine table.
Q: Why do Ess.e.x Girls dance round their handbags?
A: Have you ever seen an Ess.e.x Boys?
Q: What"s the difference between getting piles and breaking off an engagement with an Ess.e.x girl?
A: When the piles clear up you get your ring back.
Q: What is an Ess.e.x Girl"s favourite TV Program?
A: Open All Hours.
Q: Why does Ess.e.x girl wear a bra?
A: She likes a little foreplay.
Q: Why didn"t Ess.e.x girl go all the way on her first date?