"He called me long uhgo, but Ah wouldn"t heed tuh de voice, but brothers and sisters, G.o.d done whipped me tuh it, and like Peter and Paul Ah means tuh preach Christ and Him crucified. He tole me tuh go, and He"d go with me, so Ah ast yo" prayers, Church, dat Ah may hold up de blood-stained banner of Christ and prove strong dat Ah may hold out tuh de end."
The church boiled over with approval, "Ah knowed it! Tole "im long time uhgo dat"s whut he wuz cut out fuh. Thang G.o.d. He"s goin" tuh be uh battle-axe sho "nuff-Hewin" down sinners tuh repentance."
His trial sermon had to be preached in a larger church-so many people wanted to hear him. He had a church to pastor before the hands had been laid on his head. The man who preached his ordination sermon was thrown in deep shadow by the man who was to be ordained.
The church he pastored at Ocoee did all they could to hold him, but the membership was less than a hundred. Zion Hope, of Sanford, membership three hundred, took him to her bosom, and her membership mounted every month.
John dumped a heavy pocketbook into Lucy"s lap one Monday morning before he took off his hat.
Lucy praised him. "We goin" tuh finish payin" fuh dis place wid dis money. De nex" time, us buy de chillun some changin" clothes. You makin" good money now, John. Ah always knowed you wuz goin" tuh do good."
He wore the cloak of a cloud about his shoulders. He was above the earth. He preached and prayed. He sang and sinned, but men saw his cloak and felt it.
"Lucy, look lak Ah jus" found out whut Ah kin do. De words dat sets de church on fire comes tuh me jus" so. Ah reckon de angels must tell "em tuh me."
"G.o.d don"t call no man, John, and turn "im loose uh fool. Jus" you handle yo" members right and youse goin" tuh be uh sho "nuff big n.i.g.g.e.r."
"Ain"t Ah treatin" "em good, Lucy? Ah ain"t had no complaints."
"Naw, you wouldn"t hear no complaints "cause you treatin" "em too good. Don"t pomp up dem deacons so much. Dey"ll swell up and be de ruination of yuh. Much up de young folks and you got somebody tuh strain wid dem ole rams when dey git dey habits on. You lissen tuh me. Ah hauled de mud tuh make ole Cuffy. Ah know whuts in "im.
"Don"t syndicate wid none of "em, do dey"ll put yo" business in de street." Lucy went on, "Friend wid few. Everybody grin in yo" face don"t love yuh. Anybody kin look and see and tell uh snake trail when dey come cross it but n.o.body kin tell which way he wuz goin" lessen he seen de snake. You keep outa sight, and in dat way, you won"t give n.o.body uh stick tuh crack yo" head wid."
As he swaggered up to Joe Clarke"s store porch in his new clothes, putting and taking with his yellow cane, Sam Mosely teased, "Well, John done got tuh be uh preacher."
"Yeah Ah is, and Ah ain"t no stump-knocker neither. Ah kin go hard."
"Maybe so, John, but anybody kin preach. Hard work and hot sun done called uh many one. Anybody kin preach."
"Naw dey can"t neither. Take you for instance."
"Don"t want tuh. Ahm de mayor."
"You ain"t goin" tuh be it after de 18th day of August. Watch and see."
"Who gointer be it; Joe Clarke? He said he wuzn"t runnin"."
"Naw, Ahm gointer be de mayor."
"You runnin" fuh mayor?"
"Not now but Ahm goin" tuh run when de time come, and if you want tuh be mayor agin you better run. Don"t fool wid it-run! Go hard uh go home. You and Clarke ain"t had n.o.body tuh run against, but dis time big Moose done come down from de mountain. Ahm goin" tuh run you so hard "til they can"t tell yo" run-down shoe from yo" wore out sock."
General laughter.
"I G.o.d," Joe Clarke declared, "Ah never seen two sworn buddies dat tries tuh out do on "nother lak y"all do. You so thick "til one can"t turn "thout de other one, yet and still you always buckin" "ginst each other."
""Tain"t me," Sam Mosely defended, "Iss him, but he can"t never ekal up tuh me "cause Ah come heah from Wes" Flordah uh porpoise, but look whut Ah got now. Ahm uh self-made man."
"Ah come heah right out de tie woods in uh boot and uh shoe, but Ah got proppity too. Whut you goin" tuh call me?" He thrust out his chest.
"Uh wife-made man," Mosely retorted amid boisterous laughter, "if me and him wuz tuh swap wives Ah"d go past "im so fast you"d think it wuz de A.C.L. pa.s.sin" uh gopher."
"Better say joe, "cause you don"t know. Anyhow when you run for mayor next time git ready tuh take yo" whippin". De time done come when big britches goin" tuh fit li"l" Willie."
And Rev. Pearson did win. He was swept into office by the overwhelming majority of seventeen to three.
"Tell yuh how yuh beat me, John," Mosely said on the store porch that night, "course "twan"t fair, but it wuz de way you and Lucy led de gran" march night "fo" las" at de hall, but by rights uh preacher ain"t got no business dancin"."
"Grand marchin" ain"t dancin". Ah never cut uh step."
"Dat"s right too, y"all," Joe Lindsay put in, "you ain"t dancin" "til yuh cross yo" feet, but Rev. John, no sinner man couldn"t uh led dat march no better"n you and Lucy. Dat li"l" "oman steps it lightly, slightly and politely."
"Tuh make short talk outa long," added Walter Thomas, "Sam, youse uh good man. Ah don"t know no better conditioned man in dese parts. Yo" morals is clean ez uh fish-and he been in bathin" all his life, but youse too dry fuh de mayor business. Jes" lak it "twuz wid Saul and David."
Lucy was going to have another baby and in her condition she missed John a lot. Now that he was called here and there over the state to conduct revivals, she knew that he must go. She was glad to see him in new suits that his congregation proudly bestowed upon him without his asking. She loved to see him the center of admiring groups. She loved to hear him spoken of as "The Battle-Axe." She even loved his primitive poetry and his magnificent pulpit gestures, but, even so, a little cold feeling impinged upon her antennae. There was another woman.
Time and time over the dish-pan, she"d find herself talking aloud.
"Lawd lemme quit feedin" on heart meat lak Ah do. Dis baby goin" tuh be too fractious tuh live." And then again, "Lawd, if Ah meet dat woman in heben, you got tuh gimme time tuh fight uh while. Jus" ruin dis baby"s temper "fo" it git tuh dis world. "Tain"t mah fault, Lawd, Ahm jus" ez clean ez yo" robes."
This was her second baby since coming to Florida, and she remembered how happy he had been at the coming of the fourth boy. A new baby might change things, perhaps, and she was right. When the new little girl was a month old, he took the lacy, frilly little bundle out of Lucy"s arms and carried it out to the waiting horse and buggy.
"You ain"t got time tuh fool wid dat youngun, John. You goin" up tuh Sanford tuh preach, ain"t yuh?"
"Yeah, and de church got tuh see dis baby. Dis is sho mah work. De very spit uh me. "Cep"n-"
""Cep"n what? Dem sho yo" gray eyes."
"Dey ain"t whut Ah wuz fixin" tuh say. Dat"s mah eye color alright but her eyes look at yuh lak she know sumpin. Anybody"d think she"s grown. Wonder whut she thinkin" "bout?"
"Take uh G.o.d tuh tell. Ah toted de rest uh de chillun in mah belly, but dat one wuz bred in mah heart. She bound tuh be diffunt."
"Git yo" things on, Lucy, and come on tuh Sanford wid me. De church ain"t seen mah wife in six months. Put on dat li"l" red dress and come switchin" up de aisle and set on de front seat so you kin be seen. Ahm goin" tuh tote de baby, lessen you want me tuh tote bofe of yuh."
"Go "way, Ah don"t hafta wear dat ole red dress "cause Ah got uh brand new princess, laced down de back wid uh silk cord wid ta.s.sels on it."
With her bangs above her shining eyes and the door-k.n.o.b knot of hair at the back, Lucy sat on that front seat in church and felt a look strike her in the back and slide off helplessly. Her husband"s glance fell on her like dew. Her look and n.o.body else"s was in his gray eyes, and the coldness melted from the pit of her stomach, and at the end of the sermon John came down from the pulpit and took the baby from her arms and standing just before the pulpit proudly and devotedly called, "Come heah eve"ybody, one at de time and pa.s.s by and look on yo" pastor"s baby girl chile. Ah could shout tuhday." And they came.
There came other times of cold feelings and times of triumphs. Only the coldnesses grew numerous.
Once she had sent him off to Alabama when she felt such a coldness that it laid her in a sick-bed. She knew that the glory of his broadcloth and Stetson would humble Bud, chagrin old Ned and make Amy happy, and in his present glory the "leaf of gra.s.s" would wither. Lucy prayed often now, but sometimes G.o.d was tired and slept a little and didn"t hear her. Maybe He had other Johns somewhere that needed His ear, but Lucy didn"t get too tired. She didn"t worry G.o.d too much. She had her husband and seven children now and her hands were kept busy. John had to be pushed and shoved and there was no one to do it but Lucy.
There came the day, with Lucy"s maneuvering, when John stood up in the State a.s.sociation and was called Moderator. "Wisht ole Ned and Bud could see me now," John gloated, "always makin" out Ah wuzn"t goin" tuh be nothin". Ah uh big n.i.g.g.e.r now. Ain"t Ah Lucy?"
"You sho is. All you got tuh do now is tuh ack lak one."
"Don"t you reckon Ah know how tuh ack, Lucy? You ain"t out dere wid Brown and Battle and Ford and all dem big mens, lak Ah is. You always tryin" tuh tell me whut tuh do. Ah wouldn"t be where Ah is, if Ah didn"t know no more"n you think Ah do. You ain"t mah guardzeen nohow."
John strode off in his dark blue broadcloth, his hand-made alligator shoes, and his black Stetson, and left Lucy sitting on their porch. The blue sky looked all wrinkled to Lucy thru the tears.
And soon Lucy knew who the woman was, and once or twice the thought troubled her that John knew she knew, but didn"t care.
One night as she sang the sleep song to the younger children she noticed a sallow listlessness in Isis, her younger girl. The next day she knew it was typhoid. For a week she fought it alone. John was down the East Coast running a revival and didn"t come at once. When he did come, the doctor said, "Well, Reverend, I"m glad you"re here. If she can last "til midnight she"s got a chance to get over it, but-but I doubt if she will live "til dark."
The restrained Lucy stood at the far side of the bed looking at her child, looking at John. The agony of the moment sweated great drops from his forehead. He would have fallen on the bed but Lucy led him outside.
"Ah can"t stand "round and see mah baby girl die. Lucy! Lucy! G.o.d don"t love me. Ah got tuh go "way "til it"s all over. Ah jus" can"t stay."
So John fled to Tampa away from G.o.d, and Lucy stayed by the bedside alone. He was gutted with grief, but when Hattie Tyson found out his whereabouts and joined him, he suffered it, and for some of his hours he forgot about the dying Isis, but when he returned a week later and found his daughter feebly recovering, he was glad. He brought Lucy a new dress and a pineapple.
CHAPTER 14.
People in Sanford began to call Lucy aside. There was much under-voice mention of Hattie Tyson, Oviedo and shame, Gussie, Tillie, Della, church court, making changes in the pulpit and monthly conference.
"John," Lucy began abruptly one day, "you kin keep from fallin" in love wid anybody, if you start in time."
"Now whut you drivin" at?"
"You either got tuh stop lovin" Hattie Tyson uh you got tuh stop preachin". Dat"s whut de people say."
"Ah don"t love no Hattie Tyson. De n.i.g.g.e.rs lyin" on me."
"Maybe so, but if you don"t you oughta stay from "round her. Ah done seen de green tree ketch on fire, so you know uh dry one will burn."
"Lawd how some folks kin lie! Dey don"t wait tuh find out a thing. Some of "em so expert on mindin" folks" business dat dey kin look at de smoke comin" out yo" chimbley and tell yuh whut yuh cookin"."
"Yo" church officers is talkin" it too, John."
"Sho "nuff, Lucy?"
"Dey talkin" "bout settin" you down."
"Lawd have mussy! You ain"t "ginst me too, is yuh Lucy?"
"Naw, Ah"ll never be "ginst yuh, John, but Ah did thought you done strayed off and don"t love me no mo"."
"You musta thought it, Lucy, "cause n.o.body sho didn"t tell yuh. If you don"t know, ast somebody."
"John, now don"t you go "round dat church mealy-moufin "round dem deacons and n.o.body else. Don"t you break uh breath on de subjick. Face "em out, and if dey wants tuh handle yuh in conference, go dere totin" uh high head and Ah"ll be right dere "long side of yuh."
Conference night came and the church was full. It was evident that the entire congregation was keyed up. The routine business was gotten out of the way quickly. Beulah Tansill flung her low look at the pastor and then at Deacon Tracy Patton. Deacon Patton cleared his throat and did a great deal of head scratching. The look on the pastor"s face didn"t seem to belong there. It was bold and unusual. It sort of dared him and the words he had brought there with him wouldn"t slide off his tongue. He scratched his head some more. He had stirred up the side front the first time, he tried the opposite side back.
"Uh, ruh, uh ruh, any onfinished business?" prompted Deacon Harris.
Deacon Patton almost rose that time. Another look at Pearson and Lucy and he laid down his hat and scratched with both hands. Gave his entire head a thorough scratching and held his mouth open in sympathy.
"Shet yo" mouf, Tracy Patton!" Sister Berry cautioned. "De flies will blow yo" liver tuhreckly."
"Shet your"n. You tries tuh be so much-knowin". You got tuh learn how tuh speak when you spokin to, come when youse called."
"Ah ain"t got tuh do but two things-stay black and die," Sister Berry snapped.
"Less stand adjourned," Deacon Harris hurried, "us don"t want no fight."
That was as far as the conference went. The Chairman realized that the Chief spokesman was not going to speak, hastily adjourned, hoping that Beulah and Tracy wouldn"t implicate him if they talked it. He made it his business to walk home with the pastor and drop a defensive suggestion in his ear in advance.
"Rev. Ahm diggin" mah sweet pitaters tuhmorrer. Goin" tuh bring you some too."
"Thanks, Aleck. Mah wife and chillun all loves dem good ole yeller yams, good ez Ah do."
"Dey sho gointer git some. Look heah, Elder Pearson Ah reckon you done heard dat some dese n.i.g.g.e.rs is throwin" lies "bout you and some woman over "bout Oviedo. Ah ain"t tole yuh nothin", and you be keerful uh dese folks dat totes yuh news. Uh dog dat"ll bring uh bone will keep one. You know dat"s de truth. Good night."
John had read the hostility in the meeting and his relief at his temporary deliverance was great. He said nothing to his wife, but he bought a dozen mangoes and thrust the bag into her hand.
As they undressed for bed Lucy asked in a matter of fact tone, "Whut tex" you goin" tuh preach on Sunday comin"?"
"Iss Communion so Ah reckon Ah"ll preach de Pa.s.sover Supper in de upper room."
"Don"t you preach it. Dis thing ain"t thru wid yit. "Tain"t never goin" tuh be finished "til you tackle dey feelings and empty out dey hearts-do, it"ll lay dere and fester and after while it would take G.o.d hisself tuh clean up de mess."
"Whut mo" kin Ah do? Ah wuz dere fuh dem tuh handle me and dey didn"t do it."
"Dat wuz "cause de folks didn"t have no leader. They wuz plenty fight in dere. All dey needed wuz uh lead hound. You git yo"self out dey mouf and stay out of it, hear me?"
"Whut mus" Ah do?"
"You preach uh sermon on yo"self, and you call tuh they remembrance some uh de good things you done, so they kin put it long side de other and when you lookin" at two things at de same time neither one of "em don"t look so big, but don"t tell uh lie, John. If youse guilty you don"t need tuh git up dere and put yo" own name on de sign post uh scorn, but don"t say you didn"t do it neither. Whut you say, let it be de truth. Dat what comes from de heart will sho reach de heart agin."
"Mah chillun, Papa Pearson don"t feel lak preachin" y"all tuhday," he began on Sunday after he had sung a song, "y"all been looking at me fuh eight years now, but look lak some uh y"all been lookin" on me wid unseein" eye. When Ah speak tuh yuh from dis pulpit, dat ain"t me talkin", dat"s de voice uh G.o.d speakin" thru me. When de voice is thew, Ah jus" uhnother one uh G.o.d"s crumblin" clods. Dere"s seben younguns at mah house and Ah could line "em all up in de courthouse and swear tuh eve"yone of "em, Ahm uh natchel man but look lak some uh y"all is dumb tuh de fack.
"Course, mah children in Christ, Ah been here wid y"all fuh eight years and mo". Ah done set by yo" bedside and buried de dead and joined tuhgether de hands uh de livin", but Ah ain"t got no remembrance. Don"t keer if Ah laugh, don"t keer if Ah cry, when de sun, wid his blood red eye, go intuh his house at night, he takes all mah remembrance wid "im, but some yuh y"all dat got remembrance wid such long tangues dat it kin talk tuh yuh at a distance, when y"all is settin" down and pa.s.sin" nations thew yo" mouf, look close and see if in all mah doin"s if dere wuz anything good mingled up uhmoungst de harm Ah done yuh. Ah ain"t got no mind. Y"all is de one dat is so much-knowin" dat you kin set in judgment.
"Maybe y"all got yo" right hand uh fellership hid behind yuh. De Lawd"s supper is heah befo" us on de table. Maybe mah hands ain"t tuh break de bread fuh yuh, maybe mah hands ain"t tuh tetch de cup no mo". So Ahm comin" down from de pulpit and Ah ain"t never goin" back lessen Ah go wid yo" hearts keepin" comp"ny wid mine and yo" fire piled on mah fire, heapin" up."
He closed the great Bible slowly, pa.s.sed his handkerchief across his face and turned from the pulpit, but when he made to step down, strong hands were there to thrust him back. The church surged up, a weeping wave about him. Deacons Hambo and Harris were the first to lay hands upon him. His weight seemed nothing in many hands while he was roughly, lovingly forced back into his throne-like seat.
After a few minutes of concerted weeping, he moved down to the Communion table and in a feeling whisper went thru the sacrifice of a G.o.d.