"That"s the chief reason."
"But in the country I shall always be uneasy lest there should be some more of our late experience. And I don"t care to lessen it by explaining, for one thing, all about the boy"s history. To cut him off from his past I have determined to keep silence. I am sickened of ecclesiastical work now; and I shouldn"t like to accept it, if offered me!"
"You ought to have learnt cla.s.sic. Gothic is barbaric art, after all. Pugin was wrong, and Wren was right. Remember the interior of Christminster Cathedral-almost the first place in which we looked in each other"s faces. Under the picturesqueness of those Norman details one can see the grotesque childishness of uncouth people trying to imitate the vanished Roman forms, remembered by dim tradition only."
"Yes-you have half-converted me to that view by what you have said before. But one can work, and despise what one does. I must do something, if not church-gothic."
"I wish we could both follow an occupation in which personal circ.u.mstances don"t count," she said, smiling up wistfully. "I am as disqualified for teaching as you are for ecclesiastical art. You must fall back upon railway stations, bridges, theatres, music-halls, hotels-everything that has no connection with conduct."
"I am not skilled in those... I ought to take to bread-baking. I grew up in the baking business with aunt, you know. But even a baker must be conventional, to get customers."
"Unless he keeps a cake and gingerbread stall at markets and fairs, where people are gloriously indifferent to everything except the quality of the goods."
Their thoughts were diverted by the voice of the auctioneer: "Now this antique oak settle-a unique example of old English furniture, worthy the attention of all collectors!"
"That was my great-grandfather"s," said Jude. "I wish we could have kept the poor old thing!"
One by one the articles went, and the afternoon pa.s.sed away. Jude and the other two were getting tired and hungry, but after the conversation they had heard they were shy of going out while the purchasers were in their line of retreat. However, the later lots drew on, and it became necessary to emerge into the rain soon, to take on Sue"s things to their temporary lodging.
"Now the next lot: two pairs of pigeons, all alive and plump-a nice pie for somebody for next Sunday"s dinner!"
The impending sale of these birds had been the most trying suspense of the whole afternoon. They were Sue"s pets, and when it was found that they could not possibly be kept, more sadness was caused than by parting from all the furniture. Sue tried to think away her tears as she heard the trifling sum that her dears were deemed to be worth advanced by small stages to the price at which they were finally knocked down. The purchaser was a neighbouring poulterer, and they were unquestionably doomed to die before the next market day.
Noting her dissembled distress Jude kissed her, and said it was time to go and see if the lodgings were ready. He would go on with the boy, and fetch her soon.
When she was left alone she waited patiently, but Jude did not come back. At last she started, the coast being clear, and on pa.s.sing the poulterer"s shop, not far off, she saw her pigeons in a hamper by the door. An emotion at sight of them, a.s.sisted by the growing dusk of evening, caused her to act on impulse, and first looking around her quickly, she pulled out the peg which fastened down the cover, and went on. The cover was lifted from within, and the pigeons flew away with a clatter that brought the chagrined poulterer cursing and swearing to the door.
Sue reached the lodging trembling, and found Jude and the boy making it comfortable for her. "Do the buyers pay before they bring away the things?" she asked breathlessly.
"Yes, I think. Why?"
"Because, then, I"ve done such a wicked thing!" And she explained, in bitter contrition.
"I shall have to pay the poulterer for them, if he doesn"t catch them," said Jude. "But never mind. Don"t fret about it, dear."
"It was so foolish of me! Oh why should Nature"s law be mutual butchery!"
"Is it so, Mother?" asked the boy intently.
"Yes!" said Sue vehemently.
"Well, they must take their chance, now, poor things," said Jude. "As soon as the sale-account is wound up, and our bills paid, we go."
"Where do we go to?" asked Time, in suspense.
"We must sail under sealed orders, that n.o.body may trace us... We mustn"t go to Alfredston, or to Melchester, or to Shaston, or to Christminster. Apart from those we may go anywhere."
"Why mustn"t we go there, Father?"
"Because of a cloud that has gathered over us; though "we have wronged no man, corrupted no man, defrauded no man!" Though perhaps we have "done that which was right in our own eyes.""
VII
From that week Jude Fawley and Sue walked no more in the town of Aldbrickham.
Whither they had gone n.o.body knew, chiefly because n.o.body cared to know. Any one sufficiently curious to trace the steps of such an obscure pair might have discovered without great trouble that they had taken advantage of his adaptive craftsmanship to enter on a shifting, almost nomadic, life, which was not without its pleasantness for a time.
Wherever Jude heard of free-stone work to be done, thither he went, choosing by preference places remote from his old haunts and Sue"s. He laboured at a job, long or briefly, till it was finished; and then moved on.
Two whole years and a half pa.s.sed thus. Sometimes he might have been found shaping the mullions of a country mansion, sometimes setting the parapet of a town-hall, sometimes ashlaring an hotel at Sandbourne, sometimes a museum at Casterbridge, sometimes as far down as Exonbury, sometimes at Stoke-Barehills. Later still he was at Kennetbridge, a thriving town not more than a dozen miles south of Marygreen, this being his nearest approach to the village where he was known; for he had a sensitive dread of being questioned as to his life and fortunes by those who had been acquainted with him during his ardent young manhood of study and promise, and his brief and unhappy married life at that time.
At some of these places he would be detained for months, at others only a few weeks. His curious and sudden antipathy to ecclesiastical work, both episcopal and noncomformist, which had risen in him when suffering under a smarting sense of misconception, remained with him in cold blood, less from any fear of renewed censure than from an ultra-conscientiousness which would not allow him to seek a living out of those who would disapprove of his ways; also, too, from a sense of inconsistency between his former dogmas and his present practice, hardly a shred of the beliefs with which he had first gone up to Christminster now remaining with him. He was mentally approaching the position which Sue had occupied when he first met her.
On a Sat.u.r.day evening in May, nearly three years after Arabella"s recognition of Sue and himself at the agricultural show, some of those who there encountered each other met again.
It was the spring fair at Kennetbridge, and, though this ancient trade-meeting had much dwindled from its dimensions of former times, the long straight street of the borough presented a lively scene about midday. At this hour a light trap, among other vehicles, was driven into the town by the north road, and up to the door of a temperance inn. There alighted two women, one the driver, an ordinary country person, the other a finely built figure in the deep mourning of a widow. Her sombre suit, of p.r.o.nounced cut, caused her to appear a little out of place in the medley and bustle of a provincial fair.
"I will just find out where it is, Anny," said the widow-lady to her companion, when the horse and cart had been taken by a man who came forward: "and then I"ll come back, and meet you here; and we"ll go in and have something to eat and drink. I begin to feel quite a sinking."
"With all my heart," said the other. "Though I would sooner have put up at the Chequers or The Jack. You can"t get much at these temperance houses."
"Now, don"t you give way to gluttonous desires, my child," said the woman in weeds reprovingly. "This is the proper place. Very well: we"ll meet in half an hour, unless you come with me to find out where the site of the new chapel is?"
"I don"t care to. You can tell me."
The companions then went their several ways, the one in c.r.a.pe walking firmly along with a mien of disconnection from her miscellaneous surroundings. Making inquiries she came to a h.o.a.rding, within which were excavations denoting the foundations of a building; and on the boards without one or two large posters announcing that the foundation-stone of the chapel about to be erected would be laid that afternoon at three o"clock by a London preacher of great popularity among his body.
Having ascertained thus much the immensely weeded widow retraced her steps, and gave herself leisure to observe the movements of the fair. By and by her attention was arrested by a little stall of cakes and ginger-breads, standing between the more pretentious erections of trestles and canvas. It was covered with an immaculate cloth, and tended by a young woman apparently unused to the business, she being accompanied by a boy with an octogenarian face, who a.s.sisted her.
"Upon my-senses!" murmured the widow to herself. "His wife Sue-if she is so!" She drew nearer to the stall. "How do you do, Mrs. Fawley?" she said blandly.
Sue changed colour and recognized Arabella through the c.r.a.pe veil.
"How are you, Mrs. Cartlett?" she said stiffly. And then perceiving Arabella"s garb her voice grew sympathetic in spite of herself. "What?-you have lost-"
"My poor husband. Yes. He died suddenly, six weeks ago, leaving me none too well off, though he was a kind husband to me. But whatever profit there is in public-house keeping goes to them that brew the liquors, and not to them that retail "em... And you, my little old man! You don"t know me, I expect?"
"Yes, I do. You be the woman I thought wer my mother for a bit, till I found you wasn"t," replied Father Time, who had learned to use the Wess.e.x tongue quite naturally by now.
"All right. Never mind. I am a friend."
"Juey," said Sue suddenly, "go down to the station platform with this tray-there"s another train coming in, I think."
When he was gone Arabella continued: "He"ll never be a beauty, will he, poor chap! Does he know I am his mother really?"