Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

“Answer the question Momokawa! What the h.e.l.l were you doing just now!”

“N-no wait... just wait ok! Watch the sword...”

Her sharp blade pointed at me, Kenzaki-san seems extremely agitated. She is so mad, I can’t begin to describe her as only angry. She has an air around her that’s telling me that any form of excuse or small talk will cause my neck to drop by her wrath. No, in her current state, if I zip up now, she might just do it unconsciously.

Having fallen into an abrupt and unfair state of crisis, I can’t say I’m calm either.

“Sto-stop... Kenzaki-san, if you kill me, you’ll also...”

“b.a.s.t.a.r.d! After excuses you start threatening now!”

“Uaaah, I’m sorry! B-but, I’m telling the truth. If you accidentally stab me, you will get the same wound. So the sword, please pull it back...”

It’ll be too late after the deed is done. I made sure to clearly explain to everyone how my Pain Return works. But holy s.h.i.+t man, humans are such valiant creatures, braving any danger if they get a little too mad. No, I guess it’s because Pain Return doesn’t have any sort of solid form, so I can’t expect them to intrinsically get that hitting me is a bad idea.

“Shut it Momokawa, don’t underestimate me— Hmph!”

“GUH!?”

Kenzaki-san drew back her sword, but as soon as she did, a fist landed in my gut. It wasn’t anything like a frail girl-punch, but heavy like an iron ball. It was a devestating punch.

Naturally, my abdominal muscles being as weak as they are, I couldn’t bear the attack at all. Strength drained from my knees, and I collapsed onto the ground right there.

“Uh, Ugh... ow, ow... hi,c... ow...”

I cried with a pathetic voice. The sting in my stomach hurts so bad, I felt it’d be better to simply die than suffer through this. The pain was too much, I had no capacity to feel shame or dishonor.

This pain and humiliation is the same one I felt when I was lynched my those Goma. It should be the 2nd time, but you never get used to this kinda s.h.i.+t.

“Tch... It’s the curse. How annoying”

I breathe deeply to control the pain, and look upwards. There, stood Kenzaki-san with a face warped much more than can be described as merely annoyed.

She definitely got a taste of the same pain as me. But the h.e.l.l’s with this difference in reaction. How does this woman keep standing so normally after getting gut-punched this hard... No, this too must be a result of our diffrence in vocations. A Dualwielder like Kenzaki-san is adapted to battle, and must have a high degree of pain resistance. Though it could also be a result of her long years of h.e.l.lish sword training.

“Hah, haa... haah... K-Kenzaki-san, why are you... doing this...”

I can’t hold out if she attacks again. The intense pain slightly subsided, so I try to speak up. Presently, I have no methods to end this other than trying peaceful dialog. No matter how unfair she’s being, if I return with, “You punched me! f.u.c.king b.i.t.c.h!”, that’s like asking for a.s.sisted suicide.

Ah man, being weak sure sucks.

“Why he says... b.a.s.t.a.r.d, you tell me if you understand what you just did”

The h.e.l.l do you want from me, don’t ask if you already know.

“You dog. You sure got guts doing that while us girls are sleeping right there, huh Momokawa!”

Well f.u.c.k you too, I went out of my way, all the way into this corner, out of courtesy alright. You’re talking as if I raped someone in their sleep.

“Souma never did something like this, not even once... This is why men are such”

“Haah...haah... Kenzaki-san, you’ve got it wrong... I just, really needed this for my curse, and...”

“Stop making excuses! Have some shame!”

Grabbing my collar, she forcefully makes me stand... not even. Kenzaki-san being the tallest among us below Mei-chan, my small body lifts easily into the air. I couldn’t touch soil even if I stretched on my tip-toes.

My neck is, a bit constrained too. It hurts.

“I’m sor... wait, stop... don’t hurt me...”

Begging as if I’m about to be killed, I ready myself for another punch.

“You really think I’m letting you off after you—”

“What in the-, Asuna, what’s going on here? What’s all this shouting for”

Right then, a voice came from the direction of the fountain. This intonation and tone, it’s Cla.s.s Rep.

Maybe because she was called by name, Kenzaki-san let go of me. Ouch. I fell instantly and landed on my b.u.t.t.

I’m saved— isn’t something I can gullibly a.s.sume. Maybe her appearance doesn’t mean she’s coming to mediate, but actually that the situation just leveled up into a group lynching.

“Oh, Ryouko, sorry for waking you up”

“You woke me up too, Asuna”

“Hmm, what’s up~, what happened guys?”

Following Cla.s.s Rep, Souma-san and Natsukawa-san also called out.

“There was an incident. Listen guys, this b.a.s.t.a.r.d—”

“... Kotarou-kun?”

Mei-chan had also, woken up. With this much noise, I’d find it weird if she hadn’t.

Mei-chan was rubbing at her sleepy eyes. But the instant she saw me, those eyes changed. It was the Berserker’s eyes. Those that she makes to slaughter monsters.

“Kotarou-kun!”

Mei-chan appeared in front of me in a flash. Her speed being super-cla.s.s, I mostly didn’t even see her run.

“Ah, Mei-chan...”

But when I saw her large body standing to defend me, Ah f.u.c.k, how pathetic. My tears won’t stop. Finally, now at least, my life isn’t in danger. I was relieved from the very depths of my heart.

“J-just what, is going on here”

Me, Kenzaki-san and, coming to the rescue at sonic speed, Mei-chan. With this much of a dangerous scent drifting about, Cla.s.s Rep quickly caught on. The other three rushed over. Since Takanas.h.i.+-san isn’t here, she must be out like a log.

“Momokawa, talk. Don’t make a girl speak about such repulsive things”

Even a guy can’t outright say stuff like, I was masturbating. And you seriously want me to open the closet in front of cla.s.s 2-7’s prettiest girls gathered around? No, their prettiness aside, I’d doubt my sanity if I could calmly say something like that to any girl.

“... I was, masturbating here”

But I said it. I had to, or else we wouldn’t solve anything.

“Eh, EEH!? What, you mean you...”

“Please, tell me I misheard...”

“Ni-nihaha...”

I’m dying from the shame. Cla.s.s Rep made a face like she was flabbergasted. Souma-san, as if she’d heard something so obscene she’d barf. Natsukawa-san was completely drawn back and making a wry smile. As for Mei-chan, I’am too scared to check.

“L-listen I, I don’t think I have anything to be guilty about. This was absolutely necessary for my curse and... But you seriously can’t show something like this to anyone, so I tried to do it secretly and...”

“Enough with the excuses, Momokawa—”

“Stop that Kenzaki-san. You’re scaring Kotarou-kun”

Kenzaki-san still looks like she has a big knuckle sandwich ready for me, and Mei-chan boldly stands in front of her to prevent her from dis.h.i.+ng it out. Her wide back defending me looks so strong and reliable.

“That’s how it is, so everyone can go back”

As if declaring, Nothing to see here, Mei-chan casually attempts to disperse the crowd. And naturally, everyone says “Alright, we get it—“ and the matter comes to a close, and that doesn’t actually happen at all.

“Futaba, are you seriously sticking up for Momokawa?”

“This doesn’t even count as sticking up or anything. What did Kotarou-kun do wrong anyway?”

From Mei-chan’s tone, it seemed like she believed me word for word. He didn’t have any ill will, he only did what had to be done. She’s speaking as if she’s blatantly ignoring my sin of performing self-pleasure in the same room where all the girls were sleeping.

“You heard what he did. This b.a.s.t.a.r.d’s been looking at us girls with lecherous eyes all this time. And he even has the gall to explain himself with a curse or whatever. Do you think we can forgive this?”

As for Kenzaki-san’s opinion, I can’t say I agree with all of it... But I can half concede that her’s would be the correct reaction from a girl. Getting so mad as to put a sword to my neck and punching me in the gut, is a bit much. But she’d obviously feel disgusted to no end if there was some sc.u.mbag fapping in the same room they’re all breathing in. It’s an issue of psychological nonacceptance.

“I uhm, well, I don’t feel too good about it...”

“N-nihaha, I don’t really, get that sort of stuff so...”

Cla.s.s Rep and Natsukawa-san weren’t screaming stuff like, “You disgust me, sick w.a.n.ker”, and displaying outright disgust. But clearly they’re hastily sliding the subject. These two aren’t doing this out of considering for me, but for Mei-chan. They’re weak against her right now. So they can’t express strong opposition towards her.

“Futaba-san listen, even if what Momokawa-kun said happens to be true, I honestly believe that what he did was bad. What he did was, for a young man, clearly lacking in delicacy”

But in contrast, Souma-san spoke with conviction. Once a girl says it like that, no man in the world has any way of making excuses. It’s a guillotine. Lack of consideration, lack of delicacy. For women, those can become valid enough reason to condemn a man.

“Delicacy? Souma-san, are you seriously blaming Kotarou-kun with a worthless reason like that?”

Cut the jokes b.i.t.c.h, they ain’t funny, and this ain’t no time for ’em either, capisce?! I almost heard a sort of rageful inner voice coming from Mei-chan’s reply.

“It’s a very important reason. Look here, including you yourself, there are currently 6 of us girls here. And the only boy among us is Momokawa-kun. But even if he’s the sole boy, we must not forget our morals. If not, the whole team might suffer from the friction”

“So, you’ll force only Momokawa-kun to endure it, is what you’re implying?”

“He’s the only one now, but later on, if we join up with any of the other boys, these rules will stay the same”

“Nonsense. Just admit it, you just want yourselves to live comfier lives”

“I don’t believe I’m asking the impossible. Since, when nii-san was with us, nothing like this happened at all. Just think about it, in our current situation where both s.e.xes must work together, we need to maintain the rules”

“And let me guess, you, Souma-san, will be making these so called rules?”

“No, not just me, all of us”

Majority rule. That is a concept any j.a.panese knows and has learned to accept.

Were my actions right? Or were they wrong? We don’t even need to vote on that. Out of the 6 girls, Mei-chan is the only one on my side. Getting a majority vote is a pipe dream within a pipe dream.

“Futaba, how come you’re trying so hard to protect Momokawa?”

“I could say the same, why... why are you getting in Kotarou-kun’s way?”

“You saw how he’s so adamant about what he did. You’ve been with him all this time, Futaba. Who knows what he’s been doing to you”

A sudden pang of guilt stabs at my heart. That day when I made Rem, I had sinned heavily, performing the lookout. If I went like, At least I didn’t touch her, I’d really get my neck offed by Kenzaki-san.

“Futaba-san, I won’t be insensitive and ask what sort of relations.h.i.+p you have with Momokawa-kun. But even if you’ve sworn yourselves to one another, in our current circ.u.mstances, having s.e.xual relations would be simply wrong”

“Hmph, aren’t you simply jealous you can’t get Souma-kun to look at you that way?”

“T-this has nothing to do with nii-san!!”

Souma Sakura raises her voice all too suddenly. A-and with ferocious intensity. I had always thought that she had this air towards Souma-kun that made them have such a pink atmosphere that any normal couple would have to admit defeat but... I totally didn’t expect this. It’s no joke, Souma Sakura actually loves her own brother.

“Hey wait, Sakura, calm down... alright, and Futaba-san too, I really need you to not pursue this”

“Oh, sorry about that. It’s not like I don’t understand your feelings. I didn’t mean to mock you”

Cla.s.s Rep slides in with perfect timing. And I’m glad Mei-chan backed off too.

“No, I’m sorry as well... I lost my composure a little...”

That right then wasn’t what I’d call a little. She said it with so much pa.s.sion that, I bet her fanclub’s chairman would faint if he ever saw it.

“Whatever the case, we are all in this mess together. So Futaba-san, you’d at least agree that we need to establish some rules correct?”

“Sure”

“About the incident with Momokawa-kun, I could say not everyone had a proper grasp of the do’s and don’t’s. So let’s rule it as a mistake due to ignorance. And it’s not like he defiled anyone either”

You think I can be that daring? With these girls of all people? I don’t have enough lives for that. But I’m grateful you actually said some facts.

“We let you off with just one punch. You should be thank our tolerance Momokawa”

“Punch, Kenzaki-san... did you perhaps, hit Momokawa-kun?”

Holy c.r.a.p. I just saw a little bit of that red aura drifting from Mei-chan’s slightly trembling shoulders.

“Cause he was saying he’s gonna curse me or something. I gave him a good one in the gut. I was going pretty easy on him too, but he started crying like a pansy. What a weak excuse of a man”

“...You’re dead”

Mei-chan tightens her fist, and the aura begins to swirl. I get reminded of that Armor Bear getting ending up with a hole in its chest. Yeah, she d.a.m.n well has enough power to kill someone with her bare hands.

“No don’t! Mei-chan!”

I made a full spurt tackle, grabbing onto Mei-chan’s waist as if I was an American Football player. But, like that 100 year old sacred tree in the shrine near my house, she doesn’t even budge. But, soft. And a tight waist. She’s seriously slimmed down huh— wait no, this ain’t no time to be impressed.

“Kyaa!? Kotarou-kun!?”

An unbelievably cute voice leaks from the bloodthirsty Berserker. I’m literally the only one being desperate here. Does Kenzaki-san even realize she was standing on the fine line between life and death?

“Mei-chan, I’m glad you’re doing this for me, I really am. But this time, I did something super careless so don’t!”

The girls’ eyes towards me clinging to Mei-chan was severely painful. So I quickly took my arms off her waist, and in the same movement, prostrated myself. It’s the ever famous bowing down in a dogeza.

“I’m deeply apologize, it was all my fault. Please find it in yourselves to forgive me”

There is some shame. But I’m not particularly resenting them. Mei-chan got angry for me and, though it might be inappropriate considering the situation, I was really happy. That even I had at least one ally. I can’t be more thankful for her trust towards me.

“Asuna, and Sakura too. Look, Momokawa-kun is even lowering his head, let’s forgive him”

“Yes, I’m fine with that. I can’t think blaming him any further would be productive”

“There won’t be a next time, Momokawa”

And having attained clemency, I finally stand up. Ah, legs are a bit shaky. Must be damage from sacrificing my pride. I wonder how Mei-chan is seeing me right now. I, who was so quick to dogeza. I’m scared to look.

Calm down, just relax, me. I honestly feel like crying right now, but there’s something I just have to finish saying.

“...Uhm, excuse me but, the curse I was trying to do, I have permission to do it right?”

If I can’t make Vile Mud Doll, there would’ve been no point in going through all that pain for a little bit of s.e.m.e.n.

“Momokawa! You little—”

“Wait Asuna. Momokawa-kun, that curse of yours, do you absolutely need it?”

“Vile Mud Doll is a curse that creates a golem. If I have this, it can become a s.h.i.+eld at sudden unprecedented moments. When we fought the Armor Bear, it was because that golem took a hit for me that I didn’t die”

“And to make that, you uhm... you have to use that?”

“Without it, its power drops drastically. It’s like, how alchemists use it for making a homunculus, heard of that?”

“... I see, if it’s like that, then I guess you’d need it”

“Oi, Ryouko, what’re you talking about. What’s all this about that homun-whatever-you-said”

“I’ll tell you about it later, so please keep quiet”

As I’d expect from Cla.s.s Rep’s extensive knowledge. Plus she has good judgement too. It’s super helpful.

“Anyway, you’re free to make that Mud Doll of yours this time... You already have, that ingredients right?”

It’s sorta cute how Cla.s.s Rep is having a hard time asking. Honestly thought she’d gotten used to this business with Tendou-kun... is she perhaps, inexperienced? My condolences, Cla.s.s Rep.[1]

(TN: Yup this sentence has a lot of nuance and innuendo lol. You probably get it, but I’ll selfishly explain anyway. He thought she had s.e.x with Tendou Ryuichi already. inexperienced = virgin. condolences becase Ryouko clearly likes him but he won’t notice, much less do the deed with her.)

“I just need to chant it out and that’s it”

“Uh-huh, alright then... As for the next time, let’s think about that at another occasion”

“Oi Ryuoko, this guy didn’t get it through his head at all. As I thought, he needs some—”

“Asuna, I know you’re very strict about these things, but you need to relax a bit too. The rules weren’t set, so there won’t be any penalty either”

“If it was our dojo, it wouldn’t have ended with a beating”

“Sakura said it remember. We’ll all be deciding on the rules from now on. And making them too strict would, that in itself create friction... Anyway, let’s just go back to sleep for today. We’re leaving in the morning right?”

Though reluctant, they probably didn’t want any more stress either, so apart from Mei-chan, the young ladies silently headed back to their place of sleep.

“Uhm, Cla.s.s Rep, thanks”

“... If it’s thanks, tell it to Futaba-san”

With a somewhat tired smile, Cla.s.s Rep withdraws in quick steps.

“You too Mei-chan, can’t thank you enough. You really saved me”

“Why... did you stop me”

“Of course I would, we can’t start something with those girls over this little thing”

“But Kotarou-kun you... it was, so awful, you, you even had to dogeza and...”

Why’s Mei-chan making a face like she’ll cry? I’m the one who lowered his head in shame, right?

“No problem, since they calmed down after I lowered my head, it’s great result-wise”

“But, but then...”

“It’s really no problem. You believed in me Mei-chan, so I’m fine”

“... I’m so sorry, Kotarou-kun”

Ultimately, full drops of tears indeed fell from both her eyes.

I’m stumped. How does one go about consoling a girl in these cases, I really have no clue...