Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

It really was his tongue. A long, slimy tongue. Like the one that great frog boss of the lake had. He had one as well.

In other words, the additional substance smeared on Natsukawsan’s cheek would be: his saliva. He had soggily licked her on the face.

“E-eww! Ew, it’s dirty, yuck— AH, ukh, kuu…”

“Minami, what happened!?”

“Oh, noice, working Wonders ain’t iT? Like, poTent as f.u.c.k? That’s goOod. I’d be aNNoyed if she had a rEsistance skill or sOmething”

“Watch out! He’s got paralysis poison on his tongue!”

“Well techNically, I’m groWing poison tHorns on it. Got it frOm eatinG this weiRd yellow froG, and hoNestly, thought It was preTTy s.h.i.+t... YeaaAh, this is That ‘useless juNk suddEnly becOmes relevant’ troPe huH!”

‘Legit MC 101 right here!’, he howled in distinct joy, while I was hastily rummaging through my bag.

I had nothing for paralysis. But thinking on it, he called it ‘poison’, so if I use the antidote that I previously only used for making poison b.u.t.terflies, it just might work.

“Please let this heal her— Healing Light!”

“BUHAHA, SakurchAn, aRe you being leGit here? That’s Just healing Magic you knOw! That s.h.i.+t just heaLs HP, not Status eFFects, DUH!”

Can’t be too sure about that. Souma Sakura had this cheat-like Job called Saintess. She might as well have the specs to heal stat effects along with HP, no problem.

“Sorry Sakurchan... it isn’t, working”

“N-No way, why!?”

“BUHAHAHAHAHA!! My sIdes are in OrBiT!!”

Tch, this b.i.t.c.h is useless even at her specialty. If I had to, right here, right now, elect one of us as the biggest dead weight, I’d choose her instantly.

“Cla.s.s Rep, my antidote could do something about this. Try it on her”

“Alright”

“Wow, what’s uP with tHat, MomOkawa? You caN make druGs and s.h.i.+T? Let me gueSs, the Job is... ApotHecaRy!”

WRONG, dumba.s.s. Also, I had no obligation to correct him either.

“Your Silence only Means I’m righT, aren’t I? Bufufuh”

This guy had to be missing a decent amount of brain cells. Did he think he’d become the intellectual type now?

Well, thanks to Yokomichi having a blast all by himself, Natsukawsan managed to apply my antidote.

“Minami, how do you feel?”

“I can move now... But not much, my strength is a bit, gone”

Natsukawsan informed Cla.s.s Rep of her condition in a weak, almost silent voice. She wasn’t completely recovered via the antidote, though I can’t say I was expecting it to be that easy.

“Look out, Minami— Ugh!?”

“Ah! Asunchan!”

Kenzaki-san was trying to cover for Natsukawsan as she couldn’t move under paralysis, but she wasn’t up to the task, and as a result, she too became a victim of the vile tongue. A slight cut, like she had been touched with a knife, appeared along her exposed thigh.

“Oho! What’s thiS... This tasTe is even more feiSty than MinAmi-chan! The poWer, I fEel da PAWAH!!”

“Asuna, take th—”

“How aboUt NOPE. C’mon, lemMe have some Too”

Kenzaki-san’s surroundings became home to sharp whips of wind. Try handing over the antidote and the tongue would latch onto the hand, try throwing it and the tongue would grasp it mid-air.

“It’s fine... I just feel a little, numb, is all. I can fight, fine”

“Heh, so Asuna’s the High Res type? But look at That, those moVements aren’t so Pin-Point anymore, aRe theY?”

It’s not like Natsukawsan fainted from it, and from my perspective, Kenzaki-san looked fine, holding her sword with the same strength as usual. But if it’s against a swordsman or warrior, in other words, close combat types, they should be able to tell the difference from a slight paralysis. Though there’s always the possibility that Yokomichi’s trying to be cool by saying lines from martial-arts manga.

“s.h.i.+t...”

Barely no time had pa.s.sed, and he already got two of our fighters. This is bad, he’s just playing games with us with zero effort, and he wasn’t even a boss monster.

Still, from staying hidden in the mist, to confusing us with illusions, Yokomichi’s defenses were practically flawless. Cla.s.s Rep and Souma Sakura did try firing their magic a couple times, but to no effect. These two had already acquired their respective long range area of effect spells, Eis Blast and Lux Blast, and they’d tried using those to get him from across the fog. But yet again, no luck.

Other than hiding in his fog, Yokomichi likely had defensive measures against incoming spells. It could be some ice attribute defensive spell plundered from Nagae-san, or something else entirely.

Whatever he had, fact is that we lacked a means to attack him. And obviously, we couldn’t do an all or nothing charge. We’d be finished if he had webs set up all around us. There’s also the chance that he’ll avoid the vanguard and go directly for us support roles.

In the end, we couldn’t budge from our current formation.

Yet, on the flipside, Yokomichi had that convenient tongue of his that was gradually, but devastatingly, breaking down our forces.

“Khh, ouch!?”

“Cla.s.s Rep!”

“MWahh! And This one, this Flavor here’s reEal subtle! It feels aLL Cool and Intellectual rolling on my tOngue—”

And now, his vile tongue had reached us mages in the back. I’m a guy, and he probably didn’t want to cross ‘that’ line, so the next one to get tasted would be Mei-chan, Souma Sakura, or Takanas.h.i.+-san huh... So one in three. If we could predict who he’ll target, we could try and intercept—

“Leet’s see noww, who shaAall I Partake in neXt... Will it be miss Top Hottie of 2-7, Souma Sakura? Or how about the DElectable candy that is Kotori-chan, the Busty loli? MiGht it perHaps be the mouth-watering Piece of eXtra Large Steak, the Mystery Super t.i.tties-chan!”

Yokomichi should be well aware of his superiority in this situation. He was acting all casual, but he still had his tongue poised for the next a.s.sault. Talking boisterously like this should be for getting himself revved up, but it also served as a psychological attack towards the enemy, causing unease and panic.

“HyahhAA!! I’m f.u.c.king Ready! We’re saVing the Best for RIGHT NOW, Souma SakuRAA—!”

“—!?”

The paralyzing tongue zipped in irregular zigzags in the air, slipping past Kenzaki-san, whose senses had been numbed, and aimed straight for Souma Sakura, whom she was guarding behind her. By the time I saw it, it was already there. In this thick fog, I had no way of observing anything unless it was near point blank range. And Souma Sakura, she had no way of blocking such an a.s.sault— or so I thought.

“AGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?”

The vehement scream did not come from the girl who was supposedly defiled by the filthy tongue. It actually came from the other side of the fog. In other words, it was Yokomichi, not Souma Sakura, who’d taken damage.

“Wuh, what the f.u.c.k is that... you got a fRiggin barrieR!?”

Souma Sakura was crouching down, frozen in fear, and looked extremely ripe for the picking. However, what I saw enveloping her body was a faint sphere of light. Looking at her figure surrounded by the elegant ball of light, I could only see it as some kind of omni-directional barrier or s.h.i.+eld.

“… That, is one of the Saintess’ inherent skills, Oracle Field. It’s a powerful barrier of light that could even divert the Cerberus’ fire blast.”

Expositioned Cla.s.s Rep in a somewhat dispirited tone.

Tch, d.a.m.n you, Souma Sakura, no actually, these girls were still hiding something like this, like why.

“Arh, dat stinGs dAmmid! f.u.c.k, ya Burned my tongue b.i.t.c.h! What’s uP with thaT OP barrier a.s.spull, f.u.c.king h.e.l.l!”

Hate to say this, but I agree with Yokomichi here. Now that I knew that Souma Sakura had this great self-defense barrier, I could also see the utter bulls.h.i.+t of her cowering in the back-lines.

f.u.c.k me, if I knew she had an ability that guaranteed her own safety, I’d have made a plan to use her as bait to draw Yokomichi out of this fog. But because she’d revealed it just now, only using it to protect her precious self, I can’t use this for s.h.i.+t.

“Tchh, guess I gotta Leave Souma Sakura for Last after all... Ehe~, no worries, she’ll make for great Desert”

Since Oracle Field was revealed, it became merely a self-defense option for her own use. If I had to make a plan involving it at this point… There’s always the option of having her do a full frontal charge at him. It could be just the thing to reverse this situation where we were being more cornered by the second. But now that I think about it, there’s no way Souma Sakura would consent to doing any dirty work like that.

Screw that, this b.i.t.c.h is more trouble than she’s worth.

“Mei-chan, the next one should come for you or Takanas.h.i.+-san. Can you catch it?”

“If it’s one in two, maybe”

After asking in a low voice, I got a response in the affirmative. If Yokomichi’s planning to follow the same pattern, Mei-chan should be able to counter him, to an extent. If we can cut off his paralytic tongue, I’m guessing Yokomichi’s method of ranged attack will be eliminated, and he’ll have to either run away, or switch to close quarters combat.

We took a few hits already, but it’s fine. We still had a chance at victory.

“... but who?”

I poise my Blackhair Bind to shoot at a moment’s notice. If I can slow down the tongue even a little, I’m sure Mei-chan will take full advantage of that delay.

My chances are 50-50. Yokomichi will be gunning for either Mei-chan or Takanas.h.i.+-san.

“Eeny meeny miNy mo, taste a Girly by the— Nope, it’s a Trap!”

And that’s why I was helpless. His tongue was actually aimed at me.

“UAAAH!!”

“Kotarou-kun!?”

A sharp pain surged through my neck. c.r.a.p, I’m done for— At Mei-chan’s yell, I was ready for some profuse bleeding, but in reality, felt only a drop of blood sliding down.

My wound was, shallow.

He’d said they were poison thorns, so it shouldn’t have that much slicing ability.

“Huff, huff, haaa...”

My pulse suddenly shot through the roof. The moment I thought I was in danger of dying, I ended up starting to panic. Calm down me, I’m still fine. This is nothing, a mere flesh wound.

As I got a grip on myself, I told Mei-chan, who looked like she was itching to run to my aid, to stand her ground.

That aside, f.u.c.king Yokomichi, despite everything he said, he literally did aim for a guy. Guess that means he was actually fighting seriously too, in his own way. I could’ve sworn he was only drunk on the notion of dominating the top-cla.s.s beauties gathered here...

“...-ous”

Right then, an almost inaudible mutter came from beyond the mist. Here I thought he’d be laughing his a.s.s off as usual, boasting how he went and paralyzed me, but he only muttered, quietly.

“... -elicios”

Delicious. I’m certain that’s what he said.

“DeLiCiouSss!! THISH iSH DE-f.u.c.kING-LICIOUUUUUSSS!!!”

It sounded like he’d reached the height of lunacy.

“Wuh, wh-what the f.u.c.k was THAT! So good, holY f.u.c.k it’s goOOD, so Dayum GOODD! MomoKaWaaa, yer BloOOod, how come ish sho GOoooOOOooOOD!?”

f.u.c.k if I know.

“UuoOOOooOOo!! Traps Aren’t so Gay after aLl! This is IT, I’m Joining the baNdwagon and LoooVInG IiiIIitt!!”

s.h.i.+t the bed. This cannibalistic blood sommelier just told me my blood is leagues more delicious than all the hot girls here. What do I even do with this information?

No seriously, this reaction was too strange. The reason why my blood would be especially delicious, or rather, different, was... Ah, could it be an effect of Black Bloodline?

“C-can’t, I can’t handle it AnYmoRe... that Divine taste... I’s gotta have moOAar, MomokAWAaAAAa!”

Yokomichi roared like he’d just snorted a palmful of goma drug.

“Yerrr, miIIIIIIIIiiiiIInnNNeeee!!”

He was coming for me.

Even without the senses of a warrior, I could just tell.

“Won’t let you. Kotarou-kun has—”

And as for the Berserker, she was way ahead of me.

The tongue was coming straight at me. This fleshy whip that had its tip riddled in paralytic pins like a cactus was shooting towards me and, Mei-chan grabbed it.

“IGH!? I-AaaAA!!?”

Using strength on a level that could punch a hole through an Armor Bear, she pulled. And along with an ugly scream, Yokomichi was instantly yanked in from beyond the mist.

It seemed as if he’d stretched his tongue to the limit. Desperately struggling with his mouth wide open, Yokomichi was being pulled in by Mei-chan—By the Berserker, who had her halberd readied high with the other hand, ready to end things.

“— Me! Protecting him!”

She swung down without the slightest hint of mercy.

“GYiyaAAAAAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

Those would be his death throes— No, not quite. It was a scream of pain from paying the price for avoiding a certain fatality.

Yokomichi understood that he had no way of slipping away, so in that instant, he bit his tongue off.

“AArrrghh, id hrrrdddss!!”

He was yelling in agony as if he’d lost something important, while Mei-chan, who had missed her mark due to an unforeseen form of evasion, took to making a swift follow-up.

However, I guess it should be expected that Yokomichi too had ample experience in battling monsters. Even as he recoiled from his amputated tongue, he was able to defend himself from Mei-chan.

“FuGh, this b.i.t.c.h, DIE d.a.m.nit! UGAAA—!!”

Right before Mei-chan could close the distance, Yokomichi widened his bloodied mouth and spat out, not spider webs, not icy breath, but intense crimson flames. This b.a.s.t.a.r.d, don’t tell me he ate a Red Dog boss and can blast fire too!

“Ng, Khh!?”

Not even Mei-chan could withstand a face full of fire. Her body sizzled in the heat, as she made a quick retreat.

This is bad, he’s getting too far. Yokomichi used his fire to chase Mei-chan away from him.

His tongue was cut off from the base so there was no more risk of him using that, but there really was no telling what other long range attacks he had in there. We had to finish this before he ran back into his Eis Mist. It’s time we fought back.

“All hands, attack! Rem, you’re up!!”

As if tapping in for Mei-chan, Rem charged in with her spear. And one step behind her, I followed.

“Blackhair Bind!!”

“NUuaAA! Oiii, not this s.h.i.+t againn!?”

The moment his flames paused, I tied him up with Blackhair Bind. The braided tentacles latched onto his wrists, ankles and waist.

This was of course, something he had already escape from once. And as expected, Yokomichi grew out mantis blades from his elbows, whereupon he would release himself— but this time, he didn’t quite make it.

“TCHH, f.u.c.k DAmmit!”

Rem had gotten dangerously close, and he couldn’t cut away all the binds. Forgoing the blackhairs on his ankles, Yokomichi used his now unbound arms to block Rem. Wait a sec, I can’t see his greatsword on him. Maybe he dropped it when Mei-chan yanked him in. What a fool, but this is exactly how I like it.

“I’ll destroy yoOOUUuu!!”

With no sword, Yokomichi could only use his fists. The mantis blades had now vanished and replaced by a pair of spiky white bone-like gauntlets. Perhaps he got these from preying on Skeletons or some derivative monster of that family.

With those fists-c.u.m-spiked clubs, Yokomichi countered Rem’s spear.

He first shoved away the spear blade. Hard enough to break apart the wooden spear. But, Rem knew not fear. Unfaltering at the loss of her weapon, Rem charged in with a body slam. Her’s was a small skeletal body, such an attack would be practically powerless, but Rem actually managed to make it work.

“Oi! This little s.h.i.+T, Die!”

His fists of bone came down on Rem like a hammer, and she ended in swift destruction. But because of that, in that single moment, Yokomichi’s focus was concentrated entirely on Rem. Pain from his missing tongue. Panic from being suddenly pulled into close combat. Yokomichi was, in that situation, not in his best condition to react.

“YaAAAAAAAAAA!!”

So now, it was my turn to strike.

Not unlike Rem had just before, I positioned my spear and charged. I can’t expect any real fire power from my curses. But I had this, this fine steel spear. It’d be a waste not to put it to use.

I might be a Shaman, I might have no real skills or status corrections, but what I did have was this spear. Solid steel and with a long reach. And with Yokomichi practically handing me his unwariness, I couldn’t afford to miss.

So I cast far away any semblance of fear or guilt towards the concept of murder. Without the slightest hesitation, I mustered every ounce of my strength to kill my cla.s.smate, this unbearably ugly, repulsive and vile, cannibalizer.

“Ugha!?”

My speartip stabbed into Yokomichi’s side. But, it’s, tough. The sheer level of resistance I was feeling completely overshadowed the time I stabbed the Red Dog. It was as if, the thing I was trying to penetrate was a thick, rubber tire.

I hadn’t missed but, it was nowhere close to enough.

“Gha, Aaa... Thaaat huuurt, MoMOKaWaaAaAA!”

“Woaah!?”

One swing from Yokomichi’s arm. With that, my spear met the same end as Rem. Irrecoverably smashed, the tip that had inched into his stomach feebly clattered as it dropped to the ground. As for myself, the wielder of the broken weapon, though not as hard as Rem, I had also crashed pathetically into the floor.

“Haah, Haa... fuh...f.u.khh... I need moRe BloOd...”

With blood flowing out from his side, Yokomichi glared at me in bated breath. Those bloodshot eyes, yup, this guy’s got ’em, the murder eyes.

“Buh, bluhd, BLOOOOD!! YOu, MomokaWA, I’mmaa, dEVOur, YOUUUUUUHH!!”

“Kotarou-kun!”

Yokomichi jumped me. Right then, Mei-chan, who knows when she got there, grab my collar from the back and pulled.

She prioritized rescue over offense, and for that, I’m in her debt.

“Spread all Anguish— Contrbeat b.u.t.terfly ”

After that successful dodge, I unleashed my curse. The material for the Contrbeat b.u.t.terflies this time was something I’d been using pretty much constantly, Ointment A.

This thing could quickly heal up cuts caused by monster bites or scratches. Now reversed, this awesome healing effect was launching the offensive on Yokomichi. This ointment that could close up any wound that wasn’t fatal was now, yup—

“IEYAAAAAaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!?”

It opened them right up. It strengthened blood flow. And maybe, it even made the recipient more sensitive to pain.

Yokomichi, who had been coming at me without a care to the tiny stab wound I gave him, was now being gouged into by the Contrbeat b.u.t.terflies, howling in pain.

“AAAHHHH!! s.h.i.+HTT! FUCCKINGG s.h.i.+AAA—”

Even while writhing in pain, Yokomichi began breathing fire. Mei-chan held onto me, and nimbly withdrew.

“Let go, I’m fine already! It’s now or never, we can kill—”

“...Sorry Kotarou-kun. That might, not be a good idea”

Spewing crazy amounts of fire, Yokomichi had essentially built a wall round himself, making it a situation where we couldn’t close in at all. After that, all I saw beyond the blaze was him turning around, and running off.

“UaaAAAAaaAAA!! Momokawa!! MOMOKAWAAAAAAAaaaAAAaaAAA!!”

Yokomichi fled, while yelling out my name, for some reason.

“So he ran... Haah”

I let out a sigh in relief. Whether it came from surviving this ordeal, or from ending up not having to kill a person,

I didn’t know, not really.