"Now, as utmost grace it steads me, Add but this thereto," I said: "On the matron"s time-worn mantle Let the Poet"s wreath be laid."
J. W. H.
"My first writing in the new house, where may G.o.d help and bless us all.
May no dark action shade our record in this house, and if possible, no surpa.s.sing sorrow."
After the wide sunny s.p.a.ces of No. 13 Chestnut Street, the new house seemed small and dark; nor was Boylston Place even in those days a specially cheerful _cul de sac_; yet we remember it pleasantly enough as the home of much work and much play.
"_November 19._ Had the comforts of faith from dear James Freeman [Clarke] to-day. Felt restored to something like the peace I enjoyed before these two tasks of printing and moving broke up all leisure and all study. Determined to hold on with both hands to the largeness of philosophical pursuit and study, and to do my utmost to be useful in this connection and path of life...."
"Comforting myself with Hedge"s book. Determined to pa.s.s no more G.o.dless days...."
She began to read Grote"s Plato, and the Journal contains much comment on the Platonic philosophy. Another interest which came to her this autumn was that of singing with the Handel and Haydn Society. She and Florence joined the altos, while "Harry," then in college (Harvard, 1869), sang ba.s.s. We find her also, in early December, rehearsing with a small chorus the Christmas music for the Church of the Disciples, and writing and rehearsing a charade for the Club.
"_December 12._ Saw my new book at Tilton"s. It looks very well, but I am not sanguine about its fate."
"Later Lyrics" made less impression than either of the earlier volumes.
It has been long out of print; our mother does not mention it in her "Reminiscences"; even in the Journal, the book once published, there are few allusions to it, and those in a sad note: "Discouraged about my book," and so forth; yet it contains much of her best work.
"_December 16._ Sarah Clarke[57] and Foley[58] are to dine with me at 5.30. Went out at 10 A.M. to take Foley to see [William] Hunt, whom we found in his studio in a queer knitted coat. He showed an unfinished head of General Grant, in which it struck me that the eyes looked like the two scales of a balance in which men and events could be weighed."
[57] Sister of James Freeman Clarke. An artist of some note and a beloved friend of our mother.
[58] Margaret Foley, the sculptor.
The Journal for 1866 opens with a Latin aspiration: "_Quod bonus, felix, faustusque sit hic annus mihi et meis amicis dilectis et generi humano!_"
February finds her in New York, going to a "family party at Aunt Maria"s.[59] Uncle John came. He was the eldest, my Harry the youngest member. I made a charade, _Shoddy_, in which Mary [Ward] and Flossy took part. Mary did very well. Flossy always does well. I enjoyed this family gathering more than anything since leaving home. It is so rare a pleasure for me. Family occasions are useful in bringing people together on the disinterested ground of natural affection, without any purpose of show or self-advancement. Relations should meet on more substantial ground than that of fashion and personal ambition. Nature and self-respect here have the predominance. In my youth I had no notion of this, though I always clung to those of my own blood."
From New York she went to Washington, where she gave a series of philosophical readings. Here, while staying at the house of Mrs. Eames, she had a violent attack of malarial fever, but struggled up again with her usual buoyancy.
"_February 19._ Weather rainy, so stayed at home; eyes weak, so could do little but lie in my easy-chair, avoid cold, and hang on to conversation. To-day the President[60] vetoed the bill for the Freedmen"s Bureau. The reading of the veto was received by the Senate with intense, though suppressed, excitement. Governor Andrew read it to us. It was specious, and ingeniously overstated the scope and powers demanded for the Bureau, in order to make its withholdment appear a liberal and democratic measure. Montgomery Blair is supposed to have written this veto."
[59] The widow of her uncle, William G. Ward.
[60] Andrew Johnson.
At her first reading, she had "an excellent audience. The rooms were well filled and there were many men of note there.... Governor Andrew brought me in. Sam Hooper was there. I read "The Fact Accomplished."
They received it very well. I was well pleased with my reception."
The next day she was so weary that she fell asleep while the Marquis de Chambrun was talking to her.
"_February 23._ To-day we learned the particulars of President Johnson"s disgraceful speech, which awakens but one roar of indignation. To the Senate at 11.30. When the business hour is over, Fessenden moves the consideration of the House Resolution proposing the delay in the admission of members for the Southern States until the whole South shall be in a state for readmission. Sherman, of Ohio, moves the postponement of the question, alleging the present excitement as a reason for this.
(He probably does this in the Copperhead interest.) At this Fessenden shows his teeth and shakes the Ohio puppy pretty well. Howe of Wisconsin also speaks for the immediate discussion of the question. Doolittle, of ----, speaking against it, Trumbull calls him to order. Reverdy Johnson pitches in a little. The Ayes and Noes are called for and the immediate consideration receives a good majority. Fessenden now makes his speech, reads the pa.s.sage from the President"s speech, calling the committee of fifteen a directory,--comments fully on the powers of Congress, the injustice of the President and his defiant att.i.tude.... He has force as debater, but no grasp of thought.... In the evening I read the first half of "Limitations" to a very small circle. A Republican caucus took all the members of Congress. Garrison also lectured. I was sorry, but did my best and said, "G.o.d"s will be done." But I ought to have worked harder to get an audience."
"_February 25...._ Rode with Lieber[61] as far as Baltimore. He heard Hegel in his youth and thinks him, as I do, decidedly inferior to Kant, morally as well as philosophically....
[61] Dr. Francis Lieber, the eminent German-American publicist.
"The laws and duties of society rest upon a supposed compact, but this compact cannot deprive any set of men of rights and limit them to duties, for if you refuse them all rights, you deprive them even of the power to become a party to this compact, which rests upon their right to do so. Our slaves had no rights. Women have few."
After leaving Washington, she spent several days with her sister Annie in Bordentown, and there and in New York gave readings which seem to have been much more successful than those in Washington. After the New York reading she is "glad and thankful."
The visits in Bordentown were always a delight and refreshment to her.
She and her "little Hitter" frolicked, once more two girls together: e.g., the following incident:--
The Reverend ---- Bishop was the Mailliards" pastor; a kindly gentleman, who could frolic as well as another. One day our Aunt Annie, wishing to ask him to dine, sat down at her desk and wrote:--
"My dear Mr. Bishop, To-day we shall dish up At one and a half The hind leg of a calf--"
At this point she was called away on household business. Our mother sat down and wrote:--
"Now B., if he"s civil, May join in our revel; But if he is not, He may go to the devil!"
During the days that followed, Kant and charades divided her time pretty evenly.
"Kant"s "Anthropologia" is rather trifling, after his great works. I read it to find out what Anthropology is."
"Good is a direction; virtue is a habit."
"Wearied by endless running about to find help for my charade, ---- having disappointed me. Determine to undertake nothing more of the kind."
The charade (_Belabor_), which came off the following evening, was marked by a comic "To be or not to be," composed and recited by her in a "Hamlet costume, consisting of a narrow, rather short black skirt, a long black cloak and a black velvet toque, splendid lace ruff, amethyst necklace. It was very effective, and the verses gave reasonable pleasure."
"_March 15...._ Went to the Masonic Banquet, which was preceded by a long ceremony, the consecration of three new banners. The forms were curious, the music good, the occasion unique. The a.s.sociation appeared to me a pale ghost of knighthood, and the solemnities a compromise between high ma.s.s and dress parade. The inst.i.tution now means nothing more than a military and religious toy."
In this year she met with a serious loss in the death of her uncle, John Ward. He had been a second father to her and her sisters; his kindly welcome always made No. 8 Bond Street a family home.
"_April 4._ The contents of uncle"s will are known to-day. He had made a new one, changing the disposition of his property made in a previous will which would have made my sisters and me much richer. This one gives equally to my cousins, Uncle William"s four sons, and to us; largely to Uncle Richard, and most kindly to Brother Sam and Wardie. We know not why this change was made, but once made, it must be acquiesced in, like other events past remedy. My cousins are wealthy already--this makes little difference to them, but much to us. G.o.d"s will be done, however.
I must remember my own doctrine, and build upon "The Fact Accomplished.""
This pa.s.sage explains the financial worries which, from now on, often oppressed her. She was brought up in wealth and luxury; sober wealth, unostentatious luxury, but enough of both to make it needless for her ever to consider questions of ways and means. Her whole family, from the adoring father down to the loving youngest sister, felt that she must be shielded from every sordid care or anxiety; she was tended like an orchid, lest any rough wind check her perfect blossoming.
Her father left a large fortune, much of which was invested in blocks of real estate in what is now the heart of New York. Uncle John, best and kindest of men, had no knowledge of real estate and none of the foresight which characterized his elder brother. After Mr. Ward"s death, he made the mistake of selling out the Manhattan real estate, and investing the proceeds in stocks and bonds. Later, realizing his grave error, he resolved to mitigate the loss to his three nieces by dividing among them the bulk of his property.
This failing, the disappointment could not but be a sensible one, even to the least money-loving of women. The Doctor"s salary was never a large one: the children must be given every possible advantage of education and society; no door that was open to her own youth should be closed to them; again, to entertain their friends (albeit in simple fashion), to respond to every call of need or distress, was matter of necessity to both our parents: small wonder that they were often pressed for money. All through the Journals we find this note of financial anxiety: not for herself, but for her children, and later for her grandchildren. She accepted the restricted means; she triumphed over them, and taught us to hold such matters of little account compared with the real things of life; but they never ceased to bewilder her.
Yet to-day, realizing of what vital importance this seeming misfortune was to her; how but for this, her life and other lives might have lacked "the rich flavor of hope and toil"; how but for this she might have failed to lock hands with humanity in a bond as close as it was permanent, who can seriously regret Uncle John"s devastating yet fruitful mistake?