Julius Caesar

"He wants to see Augusta, Ceasar . It"s not fair-" Samantha tells me for the hundredth time today as I take out the groceries from the car"s back seat and resolutely walk by her, ignoring her .

I fish for the front door"s keys from my jeans" pockets as I feel Samantha follow me .

"Julius Ceasar Alexander!" she presses and I glance at her angry face over my shoulder . She has a hand on her hips with Augusta in her other arm, her floral skirt fluttering against her shins from the cold breeze .

I unlock the door and we both enter, she with a scowl on her face and I with an annoyed look .

"He will see her-"

"What part of "I-don"t-want-him-to" don"t you understand?" I finally say exasperatedly, swinging the door shut with a kick .

"It has been almost two weeks, Julius! He keeps calling every day to make sure she"s alright . He clearly wants to see her!" Her eyes are wide and accusing as the weak sun rays streaming from the huge window, give them a subtle glow .

I do a double take and narrow my eyes at her . "You talk every day?" I then scoff and talk to the ceiling . "Didn"t know my wife and daddy were best mates!"

"Stop being ridiculous, he"s your father!"

I drop the grocery bags in the middle of the reception and walk past her to the kitchen . She leaves Augusta who was fast asleep and engulfed in a baby pink blanket on the sofa and follows me, still apparently having a lot to say .

I sigh, pull the fridge"s door open and reach for the milk carton . I open it and she stops me .

"Drink from a gla.s.s, Julius-" she warns, but I chug down what remains of the carton while locking her eyes just to infuriate her .

She purses her lips and I chuckle at her reaction before aiming at the dustbin to throw it . It gets right in .

"What will I tell him next time he calls?! He wants to see his granddaughter and-uh-" she then suddenly pauses and clears her throat .

I cross my arms over my chest as she backs away against the marble counter . I notice a knife where she was going to plant her right hand, so I quickly reach for it as she inhales sharply at my sudden proximity .

She then rolls her eyes . "I already knew the knife was there . You needn"t act so gentlem-"

"Sure, sure . . . just keep going . Continue talking nonsense I"m not going to changing my mind about . I"m all ears, darling-" I say leaning against the doorcase and balancing the knife on my index finger . "Continue, love . And what? He wants to see me, for example?"

Samantha sighs, pinching her nose and glaring at me . "Actually, yes! He is your father! He loves you-"

"You act like you haven"t witnessed what happened to every and each one of us because of his s.h.i.t-" I say sternly, holding the knife properly now .

"The past-"

I groan, knowing what she"ll say and almost immediately Augusta starts wailing .

"See what you have done?!" Samantha starts and my eyes widen .

"Me?" I feign surprise . "I clearly was the one ranting like a lunatic-"

"I hate you!" she says between her teeth, stomping out of the kitchen and purposefully b.u.mping into me .

I stagger a little under the force of her push and suppress a smile .

"Bulls.h.i.t, you love me!" I yell after her and I can see her giving me the finger before she picks Augusta .

That is how our conversations are like ever since Augusta was born . She is almost always stressed, always complaining about something or another, but I understand- she is a new mother after all .

I occasionally offered to help her with Augusta when I grew some b.a.l.l.s and wasn"t afraid of holding her fragile, feather-light being in my arms . I even used to stay up in the middle of the night holding her to me as she breastfed Augusta .

It is difficult . And h.e.l.l, it has only been two weeks .

I push myself off the doorcase and walk to Samantha who was standing in the middle of the living room, rocking now-calm Augusta in her arms .

She notices me approach her and gives me a dirty look before looking back at Augusta, ignoring me .

I collapse on the sofa where I could watch her, spread my legs in front of me, tilt my head and give her a lopsided smile .

She glances at me . "I"m angry . You"re not supposed to smile . "

"I don"t see you angry often-"

She rolls her eyes . "You wouldn"t want me to be-"

"I don"t give you the reason to-"

"Yeah right . The milk cart-?"

"There"s no way this is going to change . "

"What about going out without a coat? In the coldest of days, Caes-" She pauses to glance at Augusta who is shifting between her arms before looking up at me with a displeased look and whispering fiercely . "The coldest of days!"

"This shouldn"t bother you . I"m a grownup man . I know what to-"

"No, you will end up catching pneumoni" she glares . "Then who"ll care for you when I"m busy with Gusta?"

I stare at her for a while amazed at how that manages to vex her so much . I sigh .

"You just get bothered by everything . Try relaxing, sweetheart . Heard that it works really well-"

"Don"t tell me-" she starts and the doorbell rings .

I quickly glance at the door, slowly sitting up straight . I then look at Samantha who has the same blank face as mine .

"Did you invite anyone over?" I ask her curiously and she shakes her head slowly .

"I"ll go check-" she then says and I stop her .

"Of course not . Stay here . "

I approach the door and look through the magic eye to find a prestigious-looking, blonde lady standing with a red bag on her forearm and uh?- a -er- a . . . poodle?

I bounce away from the door to find Samantha behind me .

"I -uh- think it"s one of your lady friends . "

"Lady friends?" She makes a face and I shrug before she decides to check for herself, handing me Augusta .

"s.h.i.t!" she then whispers roughly and I fling my gun out already from my back pocket . She notices it and shakes her head vigorously . "s.h.i.t, Julius, no . It"s not like this . It"s my mother!"

"It"s your mother?" I repeat, shocked . "Where the h.e.l.l did that come from?"

"Oh my G.o.d, I forgot!" she gasps, biting her lower lip and staggering toward the door . "She always comes to check up on me every Christmas Eve!"

"Does she even know I exist?" I ask a supposedly easy question as the doorbell rings again .

Samantha looks really nervous and fumbles with her fingers . "No . I just managed to tell her that I moved out . "

"Well, s.h.i.t!"

"s.h.i.t, indeed-"

"Just open the door . "

"What will I tell her?!" She freaks out and I scoff .

"I"ll take the matter in my hands-"

Samantha gulps before she hesitantly and very slowly opens the door with a pressed smile . Samantha is still standing in the doorway but I can hear her mother"s mature, melodic voice come from behind it .

"-it has been so long!" she speaks with a strong French accent, repulsively reminding me of Lucien .

"Yes, Mama, please come in-"

"You haven"t changed a bit-"

Samantha laughs nervously and I stand back ready to meet her .

She steps in with her elegant white pumps paired with a plain white pantsuit and the poodle"s leash in her left red-gloved hand . She settles her little red bag on the hanger next to the door before she turns to me, taking off her sungla.s.ses in slow elegance and pushing it over the wave of blond hair on top of her head .

Her red-stained lips part on seeing me, her blue eyes- identical to Samantha"s- widening a bit .

Oh, I haven"t even shaved, I remember as I absent-mindedly touch my chin .

Samantha is standing next to me, resting a hand on my right arm as I awkwardly adjust Augusta on my left one .

The silence that fell on us seemed endless, only interrupted by a single bark coming from the neatly-groomed poodle, finally indicating- show time .

I pull on my most charming smile, put out a hand and with my impeccable, English accent I tell her, "Good afternoon, ma"am . I am Julius Caesar, your beloved daughter"s husband and this is Augusta, our first daughter and essentially your first granddaughter too . "

She closes her mouth and glances sharply at Samantha before looking back at me with a gooseb.u.mp-inducing glare . She eyes me up and down and scowls .

Well, I am just wearing jeans, a grey shirt and a navy-blue flannel topped with a denim jacket . I mean, forgive me I was going out for groceries, I needn"t look dashing .

"Hold my poodle," she then tells me, not even glancing at my direction before turning to her daughter . My reflexes help me catch the leash she thrusts in my chest as I tighten my hold around Augusta .

"We need to talk . Now-" she then glances at me . "Alone . "

She walks past us and absent-mindedly enters the nearest room- the dining room . Samantha and I look at each other with wide eyes, not knowing what to expect . Samantha"s about to leave me, when I gently grab her wrist, pull her close and hastily press a kiss to her rose petals for lips .

She blushes fiercely, mouths "I love you" before following her mother for what appears to be a heated conversation .

With Augusta in a hand and the hyper, barking poodle in the other, I decide I need to go for a walk to give them the s.p.a.ce they need . And you might not believe it, but the moment I step into the park I got so used to (yes, that same park you"ve been reading about, Sharon), I b.u.mp into a person I almost forgot existed .

"What the h.e.l.l-?" And then recognition slowly floods his face before he whispers in disbelief . "Romeo?"

---

Samantha"s POV .

Mama"s back is facing me as she holds onto a chair for dear life .

I gulp, stand straighter and then reach for her shoulder . She instantly turns to me on my touch and looks at me with tear-filled, accusatory eyes . My heart decides to run a marathon with my rushing thoughts and I wonder, I wonder who will win- a heart tender for a missed mother or a brain poisoned with an ugly truth .

"Mam?"

"I don"t feel as bad as I look-" she tells me, wiping carefully at her eyes with a satin handkerchief . "It"s okay-it"s okay-"

Her face is red from all the thoughts filling and pressurizing her head and her eyes are swollen from all the unshed tears . I tilt my head and sigh heavily .

"I"m sorry . "

Those two words hang in the air between us and I realize it feels pathetic to apologize for something I love- someone I love and would die for . It"s stupid to apologize for a beautiful daughter . It"s stupid not wanting to just laugh at her lost eyes with which she"s staring at me as if she"s looking at something she never knew .

Well, she doesn"t know me anymore .

"I"m sorry I didn"t tell you, but I"m not sorry for any decision I have taken . I love Julius-"

"It"s just that-" she starts, sniffing and pacing around, her right, still-gloved hand on her hips . "-that you chose him . . . him over all the French boys I showed-"

"You just said it, Mam" I say almost rolling my eyes at how ridiculous she sounds to me right now . "French boys . Julius is a man . An amazing man, actually . You know nothing about him-" I say, anger slithering its way to my throat, tightening and tightening my voice . I clear my throat .

"I know nothing about you too apparently-" she catches me off guard with the sharpness under her tone and this time I roll my eyes . So she comes here, out of nowhere, glares at my husband and acts like she gives a flying s.h.i.t about my life when she has left me discarded and blind before . Ironic .

"It"s not like you wanted to know and I stopped you from it-"

I almost hear Mama stop breathing . "I never wanted to interfere . I thought you were content with being . . . alone-"

"Bulls.h.i.t, Mam" I say, hurt by her excuse . "No one is ever content with being alone . No one . Those who say they are- they"re just lying!" I pause to catch my breath . "Don"t you say that . Don"t you convince yourself that leaving me- like this . . . alone . . . with Papa or-or Amanda was for my contention . Don"t you trick yourself-"

Mama"s shoulders slump and the colour leaves her face . "I thought you loved your father-"

"A murderer!" It just bursts out of me and Mama"s hands freeze mid-movement before they drop dead to her sides .

"Samant-"

"A murderer who was in love with you . So in love to the extent that he had no problem driving drunk to kill himself and his daughter . I was- I was blind Mama! I was blind and all you took care off was if your gloves matched your poodle"s leash! All of this and you expect yourself to know me?!" I scoff and look away, feeling my hands shake with the anger trying to flood away from them . Everything I am saying is true . She has always been busy being famous and making money, being the successful fashion designer she is .

"I-" she starts, gulping and looking down .

"Why did you divorce Papa?" I ask her mercilessly and she brings her hands to her quivering lips .

"Samantha, please . This is-"

"No, no- and don"t you make that face like it"s all f.u.c.king stupid and I"m just overdramatizing this!" I then stare dead in her eyes . "There"s no s.p.a.ce in my life for more of your intricate lies . "

"Samantha, you wouldn"t unders-"

"h.e.l.l, yeah, I would!" I say, rolling my hands into fists . "I would understand very well that you left me with him because you knew he was a murderer . And while you were disgusted by him and didn"t want anything to do with him . . . oh, yes, yes, even your own daughter, he was in love with you . And even though he- he-" I pause and examine the guilty look she is wearing as she slowly shakes her head at the truth unravelling right in front of her eyes . "-he had the power to kill you because you knew of his dirty truth, he never touched a hair of yours . And you just- you just fled!" I move my arms around, trying to emphasize how pathetic this all is . "And what did you do when you knew your daughter lost her vision, huh? What did you do?!"

"Samantha, dear-"

"You left me your phone number!" I yell at her, no longer able to carry the fury poisoning my soul . "And what did you do when my f.u.c.king father died? What did you do?!"

"I"m so so sorry-" she starts sobbing and I look at her in disgust .

"You got me Danielle, Mama . A stranger . And it was mere luck that she didn"t kill me in the middle of the night when I couldn"t see s.h.i.t to defend myself-" I pant, running my fingers in my hair . "So don"t you come here and tell me how you don"t know me . Don"t you tell me you"re not happy with what I"ve chosen for myself . Don"t act like you even tried to choose something for me . "

Mama"s hands drop from her mouth to her chest as tears flow down her eyes . "Baby, I"m so so-"

"You should know when sorries mean s.h.i.t . You should know when they can actually fix anything . Because now? This sorry? It means nothing . It means nothing at all . "

"What- what do you want me to do right now?" she asks breathlessly, choking on her tears .

"Act like you always do! Act too busy for your daughter . Smile your stupid, fake smile, then leave-" I spit out the words as she looks at me with disbelief .

"You have changed-"

"It takes a truth when your whole life has been a lie for you to change . You wouldn"t know . "

Mama gulps, holds her hands together and apparently decides to approach me . I furrow my eyebrows at her but she doesn"t stop . When she"s a few inches away from me she starts talking .

"I am not going to apologize because I know you"re right, but-" she locks my eyes and shakes her head . "You haven"t the slightest clue where I"ve been . What has happened to me . I was dragged into and out of h.e.l.l with your father . It was just-" she waves her hands and breathes out through her mouth . "-it was tempting to completely to cut him out of my life-"

"You left me-"

"I left you because I hated you-" she spits out and my heart is still beating the same . "I hated that you had to be there, serving as a reminder to the greatest mistake of my life . And I know- it was selfish, but honey, I was devastated by what I had witnessed . "

I look away disgusted by her audacity to say all this just like that .

"Honey, he wanted me to join him-" she blurts out and I stare at her in disbelief . "He"d make me watch him do all-all-" she gasps, shaking her head . "-all the torturing he did . To kids . Kids, Samantha! And oh-" she pauses to wipe some more tears . "Those poor little boys . Lucien and Esteban-"

"Wait-" I quickly stop her with a curious look on my face . "How do you know their real names?"

"Your father trusted me . He"d talk non-stop about his wicked plans- the deep web and I"d have to listen-" she says . "I"d have to listen or I"m as good as dead . Or at least that was what I thought . He was a murderer, Samantha . A murderer . "

I grimace at the thought .

"Your father is the sickest b.a.s.t.a.r.d I"ve ever known . And his death is a blessing from G.o.d-"

"That doesn"t f.u.c.king explain why you didn"t come for me when he died . It doesn"t explain the disappointment in your eyes right now-" I tell her, pursing my lips and she blinks at the ceiling, her hands on her neck .

"It doesn"t, baby, it doesn"t . I don"t think anything will-" she says, shaking her head and I look at her like I"m not surprised .

"I know . "

"Baby, I ruined your life-"

"No, you really didn"t-" I reply nonchalantly . "You don"t hold that kind of power . "

"I"m glad-" she says and I scoff . "I"m glad you found your happiness through it all . Even-" she frowns . "Even after all what you must"ve been through . Even if it wasn"t how you expected it to be . I"m glad . "

I curtly nod in her direction and she sighs before forcing a smile on her lips . "I"d like to talk with Julian an-"

"Julius . "

"Julius-" she repeats, slowly, not daring to look me in the eyes . "I"m sorry . I"d love to look at my- my granddaughter . And your wedding pictures . And maybe celebrate Christmas with you?"

I watch her try to be nice and my heart gets stuck in a dilemma . Should I believe her and let her in? After all, I have witnessed what Papa was capable of- it couldn"t have been easy for her . Or should I just hold a grudge against her for not taking me away from him and protecting my innocence?

"Please, Samanth" she begs, her eyes red-brimmed and bright from the tears .

"It just occurs to me that-" I say faintly . "That if I hadn"t confronted you, this would"ve never happened . If I hadn"t told you that I know the truth, nothing would have ever changed . I mean-" I then sharply divert my gaze to her . "I mean, what do you think?"

"I was protecting you-" she tries to say . "The truth would"ve hurt you . You loved your father . I couldn"t tell you-"

"Yeah, so you leave me with a madman . Yeah, yeah, some protection you"re talking about-" I sigh, crossing my arms across my chest .

"No-" she breathes out . "I always called you . When your father wasn"t with you, Amanda was there for you-"

"Until she decided to pa.s.s on her job to Danielle, right? I mean, h she must"ve gotten bored of taking care of an incapable twenty-three-year-old! Why haven"t I considered that?! I mean h.e.l.l, her own mother is bore-"

"Samantha, never!"

"Your actions spoke volumes, Mama!" I almost shout, but keep it together, knowing that there is no point now . It is all in the b.l.o.o.d.y past .

"Samantha, you were brought up as a soft girl," she says, her hands shaking . "I knew you wouldn"t handle a truth like this-"

"You did not bring up a soft girl-" I smirk and shake my head . "Oh, ha, not in your wildest dreams . Mama, you brought up a wolf . What are you even saying?"

"I can see-" she says dolefully . "You"re very strong . "

"Yes, thanks to you . "

Mama looks down, at loss of words before she looks up at me and holds my gaze . "I don"t want what we have to go down the drain . I don"t want to lose you-"

"You already lost me the moment you became a liar in my eyes-"

"But I can"t live without you-" she says, approaching and taking my cold hands in her gloved ones . "I"m your mother, Samantha . And I love you . Not a day has pa.s.sed without me thinking about you and the life I"ve managed to give you-"

"Life? You mean, money . The money you managed to give me, thinking it"d be enough to suffice for what I"ve lost-"

"Your words are killing me-"

"The truth is killing you!" I snap, removing my hands from her grasp and backing away from her .

"Then-then let us forget, yes?" she sniffs, removing a hair strand that fell over her eyes . "Let"s throw this all behind our backs . Let"s start a new life . I can- I can move here . I will always be there for you . I promis-"

"Too late-" I shake my head . "You weren"t there when I needed you the most . Now? Now, I"ve got Caesar . I"ve got a beautiful family that I plan on protecting at any cost . I have a daughter whom I"ll always love and take care of . I do not need you . "

"But what about me?" she says, eyes tearing up again as any of ounce hope disappears from them . "I- I need you-" It comes out more like a question and I smirk .

"No, no- you need your fame, your work, your money and whatever the h.e.l.l you"ve been running on-" I raise my eyebrows . "You"re just feeling bad right now . But give it a couple of days and you"ll remember what you stand for . You don"t stand for me . Your yearly visits are just to make you feel better about yourself-"

"I"m not going back to Paris . I promise-"

"We will see, Mama . You"re stupid if you think I"m stupid to believe you . If you"ve been dragged through h.e.l.l, I had found myself Satan"s best mate for a while-" I think of Lucien . "I know you . I know your likes-"

"I"m your mother . "

"Look-" I tell her firmly, moving away from her hand that wanted to find my arm . "I"m not wasting more time talking about this s.h.i.t, so let me tell you what you"ll do . You will be a pretty, nice thing to my husband and my daughter . Chatter a little, hold Augusta once or twice and then leave . Don"t make it dramatic . Just leave like you"ve done every time . And then-" I raise a brow . "And then, we"ll see about that "promise" of yours . "

Mama gulps, a hand on her heart, but nods slowly .

"May I use the washroom, please?" she then asks me and I press a smile .

"Sure, you"re most welcome . "

I then lead her to the washroom, ignoring her over-shoulder glances . I mean, didn"t she know?

It"s all a b.l.o.o.d.y act, right now .

She enters the washroom and almost immediately a wide-eyed Julius opens the front-door with a wildly barking poodle in one hand and a wailing Augusta in the other .

I grin .He wants to see Augusta, Ceasar . Its not fair- Samantha tells me for the hundredth time today as I take out the groceries from the cars back seat and resolutely walk by her, ignoring her . I fish for the front doors keys from my jeans pockets as I feel Samantha follow me . Julius Ceasar Alexander! she presses and I glance at her angry face over my shoulder . She has a hand on her hips with Augusta in her other arm, her floral skirt fluttering against her shins from the cold breeze . I unlock the door and we both enter, she with a scowl on her face and I with an annoyed look . He will see her- What part of I-dont-want-him-to dont you understand? I finally say exasperatedly, swinging the door shut with a kick . It has been almost two weeks, Julius! He keeps calling every day to make sure shes alright . He clearly wants to see her! Her eyes are wide and accusing as the weak sun rays streaming from the huge window, give them a subtle glow . I do a double take and narrow my eyes at her . You talk every day? I then scoff and talk to the ceiling . Didnt know my wife and daddy were best mates! Stop being ridiculous, hes your father! I drop the grocery bags in the middle of the reception and walk past her to the kitchen . She leaves Augusta who was fast asleep and engulfed in a baby pink blanket on the sofa and follows me, still apparently having a lot to say . I sigh, pull the fridges door open and reach for the milk carton . I open it and she stops me . Drink from a gla.s.s, Julius- she warns, but I chug down what remains of the carton while locking her eyes just to infuriate her . She purses her lips and I chuckle at her reaction before aiming at the dustbin to throw it . It gets right in . What will I tell him next time he calls?! He wants to see his granddaughter and-uh- she then suddenly pauses and clears her throat . I cross my arms over my chest as she backs away against the marble counter . I notice a knife where she was going to plant her right hand, so I quickly reach for it as she inhales sharply at my sudden proximity . She then rolls her eyes . I already knew the knife was there . You neednt act so gentlem- Sure, sure . just keep going . Continue talking nonsense Im not going to changing my mind about . Im all ears, darling- I say leaning against the doorcase and balancing the knife on my index finger . Continue, love . And what? He wants to see me, for example? Samantha sighs, pinching her nose and glaring at me . Actually, yes! He is your father! He loves you- You act like you havent witnessed what happened to every and each one of us because of his s.h.i.t- I say sternly, holding the knife properly now . The past- I groan, knowing what sh.e.l.l say and almost immediately Augusta starts wailing . See what you have done?! Samantha starts and my eyes widen Me? I feign surprise . I clearly was the one ranting like a lunatic- I hate you! she says between her teeth, stomping out of the kitchen and purposefully b.u.mping into me . I stagger a little under the force of her push and suppress a smile . Bulls.h.i.t, you love me! I yell after her and I can see her giving me the finger before she picks Augusta . That is how our conversations are like ever since Augusta was born . She is almost always stressed, always complaining about something or another, but I understand- she is a new mother after all . I occasionally offered to help her with Augusta when I grew some b.a.l.l.s and wasnt afraid of holding her fragile, feather-light being in my arms . I even used to stay up in the middle of the night holding her to me as she breastfed Augusta . It is difficult . And h.e.l.l, it has only been two weeks . I push myself off the doorcase and walk to Samantha who was standing in the middle of the living room, rocking now-calm Augusta in her arms . She notices me approach her and gives me a dirty look before looking back at Augusta, ignoring me . I collapse on the sofa where I could watch her, spread my legs in front of me, tilt my head and give her a lopsided smile . She glances at me . Im angry . Youre not supposed to smile . I dont see you angry often- She rolls her eyes . You wouldnt want me to be- I dont give you the reason to- Yeah right . The milk cart-? Theres no way this is going to change . What about going out without a coat? In the coldest of days, Caes- She pauses to glance at Augusta who is shifting between her arms before looking up at me with a displeased look and whispering fiercely . The coldest of days! This shouldnt bother you . Im a grownup man . I know what to- No, you will end up catching pneumoni she glares . Then wholl care for you when Im busy with Gusta? I stare at her for a while amazed at how that manages to vex her so much . I sigh . You just get bothered by everything . Try relaxing, sweetheart . Heard that it works really well- Dont tell me- she starts and the doorbell rings . I quickly glance at the door, slowly sitting up straight . I then look at Samantha who has the same blank face as mine . Did you invite anyone over? I ask her curiously and she shakes her head slowly . Ill go check- she then says and I stop her . Of course not . Stay here . I approach the door and look through the magic eye to find a prestigious-looking, blonde lady standing with a red bag on her forearm and uh?- a -er- a . poodle? I bounce away from the door to find Samantha behind me . I -uh- think its one of your lady friends . Lady friends? She makes a face and I shrug before she decides to check for herself, handing me Augusta . s.h.i.t! she then whispers roughly and I fling my gun out already from my back pocket . She notices it and shakes her head vigorously . s.h.i.t, Julius, no . Its not like this . Its my mother! Its your mother? I repeat, shocked . Where the h.e.l.l did that come from? Oh my G.o.d, I forgot! she gasps, biting her lower lip and staggering toward the door . She always comes to check up on me every Christmas Eve! Does she even know I exist? I ask a supposedly easy question as the doorbell rings again . Samantha looks really nervous and fumbles with her fingers . No . I just managed to tell her that I moved out . Well, s.h.i.t! s.h.i.t, indeed- Just open the door . What will I tell her?! She freaks out and I scoff . Ill take the matter in my hands- Samantha gulps before she hesitantly and very slowly opens the door with a pressed smile . Samantha is still standing in the doorway but I can hear her mothers mature, melodic voice come from behind it . -it has been so long! she speaks with a strong French accent, repulsively reminding me of Lucien . Yes, Mama, please come in- You havent changed a bit- Samantha laughs nervously and I stand back ready to meet her . She steps in with her elegant white pumps paired with a plain white pantsuit and the poodles leash in her left red-gloved hand . She settles her little red bag on the hanger next to the door before she turns to me, taking off her sungla.s.ses in slow elegance and pushing it over the wave of blond hair on top of her head . Her red-stained lips part on seeing me, her blue eyes- identical to Samanthas- widening a bit . Oh, I havent even shaved, I remember as I absent-mindedly touch my chin . Samantha is standing next to me, resting a hand on my right arm as I awkwardly adjust Augusta on my left one . The silence that fell on us seemed endless, only interrupted by a single bark coming from the neatly-groomed poodle, finally indicating- show time . I pull on my most charming smile, put out a hand and with my impeccable, English accent I tell her, Good afternoon, maam . I am Julius Caesar, your beloved daughters husband and this is Augusta, our first daughter and essentially your first granddaughter too . She closes her mouth and glances sharply at Samantha before looking back at me with a gooseb.u.mp-inducing glare . She eyes me up and down and scowls . Well, I am just wearing jeans, a grey shirt and a navy-blue flannel topped with a denim jacket . I mean, forgive me I was going out for groceries, I neednt look dashing . Hold my poodle, she then tells me, not even glancing at my direction before turning to her daughter . My reflexes help me catch the leash she thrusts in my chest as I tighten my hold around Augusta . We need to talk . Now- she then glances at me . Alone . She walks past us and absent-mindedly enters the nearest room- the dining room . Samantha and I look at each other with wide eyes, not knowing what to expect . Samanthas about to leave me, when I gently grab her wrist, pull her close and hastily press a kiss to her rose petals for lips . She blushes fiercely, mouths I love you before following her mother for what appears to be a heated conversation . With Augusta in a hand and the hyper, barking poodle in the other, I decide I need to go for a walk to give them the s.p.a.ce they need . And you might not believe it, but the moment I step into the park I got so used to (yes, that same park youve been reading about, Sharon), I b.u.mp into a person I almost forgot existed . What the h.e.l.l-? And then recognition slowly floods his face before he whispers in disbelief . Romeo? --- Samanthas POV . Mamas back is facing me as she holds onto a chair for dear life . I gulp, stand straighter and then reach for her shoulder . She instantly turns to me on my touch and looks at me with tear-filled, accusatory eyes . My heart decides to run a marathon with my rushing thoughts and I wonder, I wonder who will win- a heart tender for a missed mother or a brain poisoned with an ugly truth . Mam? I dont feel as bad as I look- she tells me, wiping carefully at her eyes with a satin handkerchief . Its okay-its okay- Her face is red from all the thoughts filling and pressurizing her head and her eyes are swollen from all the unshed tears . I tilt my head and sigh heavily . Im sorry . Those two words hang in the air between us and I realize it feels pathetic to apologize for something I love- someone I love and would die for . Its stupid to apologize for a beautiful daughter . Its stupid not wanting to just laugh at her lost eyes with which shes staring at me as if shes looking at something she never knew . Well, she doesnt know me anymore . Im sorry I didnt tell you, but Im not sorry for any decision I have taken . I love Julius- Its just that- she starts, sniffing and pacing around, her right, still-gloved hand on her hips . -that you chose him . him over all the French boys I showed- You just said it, Mam I say almost rolling my eyes at how ridiculous she sounds to me right now . French boys . Julius is a man . An amazing man, actually . You know nothing about him- I say, anger slithering its way to my throat, tightening and tightening my voice . I clear my throat . I know nothing about you too apparently- she catches me off guard with the sharpness under her tone and this time I roll my eyes . So she comes here, out of nowhere, glares at my husband and acts like she gives a flying s.h.i.t about my life when she has left me discarded and blind before . Ironic . Its not like you wanted to know and I stopped you from it- I almost hear Mama stop breathing . I never wanted to interfere . I thought you were content with being . alone- Bulls.h.i.t, Mam I say, hurt by her excuse . No one is ever content with being alone . No one . Those who say they are- theyre just lying! I pause to catch my breath . Dont you say that . Dont you convince yourself that leaving me- like this . alone . with Papa or-or Amanda was for my contention . Dont you trick yourself- Mamas shoulders slump and the colour leaves her face . I thought you loved your father- A murderer! It just bursts out of me and Mamas hands freeze mid-movement before they drop dead to her sides . Samant- A murderer who was in love with you . So in love to the extent that he had no problem driving drunk to kill himself and his daughter . I was- I was blind Mama! I was blind and all you took care off was if your gloves matched your poodles leash! All of this and you expect yourself to know me?! I scoff and look away, feeling my hands shake with the anger trying to flood away from them . Everything I am saying is true . She has always been busy being famous and making money, being the successful fashion designer she is . I- she starts, gulping and looking down . Why did you divorce Papa? I ask her mercilessly and she brings her hands to her quivering lips . Samantha, please . This is- No, no- and dont you make that face like its all f.u.c.king stupid and Im just overdramatizing this! I then stare dead in her eyes . Theres no s.p.a.ce in my life for more of your intricate lies . Samantha, you wouldnt unders- h.e.l.l, yeah, I would! I say, rolling my hands into fists . I would understand very well that you left me with him because you knew he was a murderer . And while you were disgusted by him and didnt want anything to do with him . oh, yes, yes, even your own daughter, he was in love with you . And even though he- he- I pause and examine the guilty look she is wearing as she slowly shakes her head at the truth unravelling right in front of her eyes . -he had the power to kill you because you knew of his dirty truth, he never touched a hair of yours . And you just- you just fled! I move my arms around, trying to emphasize how pathetic this all is . And what did you do when you knew your daughter lost her vision, huh? What did you do?! Samantha, dear- You left me your phone number! I yell at her, no longer able to carry the fury poisoning my soul . And what did you do when my f.u.c.king father died? What did you do?! Im so so sorry- she starts sobbing and I look at her in disgust . You got me Danielle, Mama . A stranger . And it was mere luck that she didnt kill me in the middle of the night when I couldnt see s.h.i.t to defend myself- I pant, running my fingers in my hair . So dont you come here and tell me how you dont know me . Dont you tell me youre not happy with what Ive chosen for myself . Dont act like you even tried to choose something for me . Mamas hands drop from her mouth to her chest as tears flow down her eyes . Baby, Im so so- You should know when sorries mean s.h.i.t . You should know when they can actually fix anything . Because now? This sorry? It means nothing . It means nothing at all . What- what do you want me to do right now? she asks breathlessly, choking on her tears . Act like you always do! Act too busy for your daughter . Smile your stupid, fake smile, then leave- I spit out the words as she looks at me with disbelief . You have changed- It takes a truth when your whole life has been a lie for you to change . You wouldnt know . Mama gulps, holds her hands together and apparently decides to approach me . I furrow my eyebrows at her but she doesnt stop . When shes a few inches away from me she starts talking . I am not going to apologize because I know youre right, but- she locks my eyes and shakes her head . You havent the slightest clue where Ive been . What has happened to me . I was dragged into and out of h.e.l.l with your father . It was just- she waves her hands and breathes out through her mouth . -it was tempting to completely to cut him out of my life- You left me- I left you because I hated you- she spits out and my heart is still beating the same . I hated that you had to be there, serving as a reminder to the greatest mistake of my life . And I know- it was selfish, but honey, I was devastated by what I had witnessed . I look away disgusted by her audacity to say all this just like that . Honey, he wanted me to join him- she blurts out and I stare at her in disbelief . Hed make me watch him do all-all- she gasps, shaking her head . -all the torturing he did . To kids . Kids, Samantha! And oh- she pauses to wipe some more tears . Those poor little boys . Lucien and Esteban- Wait- I quickly stop her with a curious look on my face . How do you know their real names? Your father trusted me . Hed talk non-stop about his wicked plans- the deep web and Id have to listen- she says . Id have to listen or Im as good as dead . Or at least that was what I thought . He was a murderer, Samantha . A murderer . I grimace at the thought . Your father is the sickest b.a.s.t.a.r.d Ive ever known . And his death is a blessing from G.o.d- That doesnt f.u.c.king explain why you didnt come for me when he died . It doesnt explain the disappointment in your eyes right now- I tell her, pursing my lips and she blinks at the ceiling, her hands on her neck . It doesnt, baby, it doesnt . I dont think anything will- she says, shaking her head and I look at her like Im not surprised . I know . Baby, I ruined your life- No, you really didnt- I reply nonchalantly . You dont hold that kind of power . Im glad- she says and I scoff . Im glad you found your happiness through it all . Even- she frowns . Even after all what you mustve been through . Even if it wasnt how you expected it to be . Im glad . I curtly nod in her direction and she sighs before forcing a smile on her lips . Id like to talk with Julian an- Julius . Julius- she repeats, slowly, not daring to look me in the eyes . Im sorry . Id love to look at my- my granddaughter . And your wedding pictures . And maybe celebrate Christmas with you? I watch her try to be nice and my heart gets stuck in a dilemma . Should I believe her and let her in? After all, I have witnessed what Papa was capable of- it couldnt have been easy for her . Or should I just hold a grudge against her for not taking me away from him and protecting my innocence? Please, Samanth she begs, her eyes red-brimmed and bright from the tears . It just occurs to me that- I say faintly . That if I hadnt confronted you, this wouldve never happened . If I hadnt told you that I know the truth, nothing would have ever changed . I mean- I then sharply divert my gaze to her . I mean, what do you think? I was protecting you- she tries to say . The truth wouldve hurt you . You loved your father . I couldnt tell you- Yeah, so you leave me with a madman . Yeah, yeah, some protection youre talking about- I sigh, crossing my arms across my chest . No- she breathes out . I always called you . When your father wasnt with you, Amanda was there for you- Until she decided to pa.s.s on her job to Danielle, right? I mean, h she mustve gotten bored of taking care of an incapable twenty-three-year-old! Why havent I considered that?! I mean h.e.l.l, her own mother is bore- Samantha, never! Your actions spoke volumes, Mama! I almost shout, but keep it together, knowing that there is no point now . It is all in the b.l.o.o.d.y past . Samantha, you were brought up as a soft girl, she says, her hands shaking . I knew you wouldnt handle a truth like this- You did not bring up a soft girl- I smirk and shake my head . Oh, ha, not in your wildest dreams . Mama, you brought up a wolf . What are you even saying? I can see- she says dolefully . Youre very strong . Yes, thanks to you . Mama looks down, at loss of words before she looks up at me and holds my gaze . I dont want what we have to go down the drain . I dont want to lose you- You already lost me the moment you became a liar in my eyes- But I cant live without you- she says, approaching and taking my cold hands in her gloved ones . Im your mother, Samantha . And I love you . Not a day has pa.s.sed without me thinking about you and the life Ive managed to give you- Life? You mean, money . The money you managed to give me, thinking itd be enough to suffice for what Ive lost- Your words are killing me- The truth is killing you! I snap, removing my hands from her grasp and backing away from her . Then-then let us forget, yes? she sniffs, removing a hair strand that fell over her eyes . Lets throw this all behind our backs . Lets start a new life . I can- I can move here . I will always be there for you . I promis- Too late- I shake my head . You werent there when I needed you the most . Now? Now, Ive got Caesar . Ive got a beautiful family that I plan on protecting at any cost . I have a daughter whom Ill always love and take care of . I do not need you . But what about me? she says, eyes tearing up again as any of ounce hope disappears from them . I- I need you- It comes out more like a question and I smirk . No, no- you need your fame, your work, your money and whatever the h.e.l.l youve been running on- I raise my eyebrows . Youre just feeling bad right now . But give it a couple of days and youll remember what you stand for . You dont stand for me . Your yearly visits are just to make you feel better about yourself- Im not going back to Paris . I promise- We will see, Mama . Youre stupid if you think Im stupid to believe you . If youve been dragged through h.e.l.l, I had found myself Satans best mate for a while- I think of Lucien . I know you . I know your likes- Im your mother . Look- I tell her firmly, moving away from her hand that wanted to find my arm . Im not wasting more time talking about this s.h.i.t, so let me tell you what youll do . You will be a pretty, nice thing to my husband and my daughter . Chatter a little, hold Augusta once or twice and then leave . Dont make it dramatic . Just leave like youve done every time . And then- I raise a brow . And then, well see about that promise of yours . Mama gulps, a hand on her heart, but nods slowly . May I use the washroom, please? she then asks me and I press a smile . Sure, youre most welcome . I then lead her to the washroom, ignoring her over-shoulder glances . I mean, didnt she know? Its all a b.l.o.o.d.y act, right now . She enters the washroom and almost immediately a wide-eyed Julius opens the front-door with a wildly barking poodle in one hand and a wailing Augusta in the other . I grin .