Then she got me out of the car. And she pulled me to my teacher.
"Good morning, Junie B.," said Mrs. "Don"t you look cute today?"
I felt my forehead.
"I"m ill," I said.
Mrs. smiled. "I love your straw hat."
"My head is a flaming fireball," I said.
Mrs. bended down next to me. "And that bandanna is absolutely darling."
"I am burning to a crinkle," I told her.
"Crisp," said Mother.
"Whatever," I said.
After that, Mother lifted me onto the bus. And she handed me my backpack with my lunch and camera.
She waved good-bye to me.
I did not wave back. "Cause my hand did not feel friendly.
Just then, my bestest friend named Grace came running to get me.
"Junie B.! Junie B.! Lucille and I saved you a seat!"
Then she grabbed my arm. And she took me way in the back.
I sat down next to Lucille.
"No!" said that Grace. "That"s my my seat, Junie B.!" seat, Junie B.!"
She quick pulled me up.
"So where am I I supposed to sit, then?" I asked. supposed to sit, then?" I asked.
Lucille pointed across the aisle.
"Right there, silly," she said. "You"re sitting right directly across from Grace and me. And so it"s almost like we"re sitting together. Except you will be separate."
I sat down.
"But there"s n.o.body to talk to over here," I told her.
Just then, that meanie Jim jumped up from the seat behind me.
"Me! You can talk to me!" he said very laughing.
Then he leaned into my ear. And he hollered, "c.o.c.kLE-DOODLY-DOO!" right into my eardrum.
"Too bad you"re afraid of roosters," he said. "Roosters can tell if you"re afraid, Junie B. Ask anybody. Roosters always peck the scaredy-heads first."
"No, they do not, Jim!" I said back. "You are just making that up, probably. And anyhow, if roosters pecked people"s heads off, all farmers would have nub heads. Only they don"t. So there. Ha ha."
Jim raised up one eyebrow.
"Are you sure sure all farmers don"t have nub heads?" he said kind of spooky. "Hmm? Are you?" all farmers don"t have nub heads?" he said kind of spooky. "Hmm? Are you?"
He did a grin. "Why do you think farmers wear hats? hats?"
Jim leaned closer. "To cover up their nubs, that"s why," he whispered.
After that, he lifted up my hat.
And he patted my head.
And he c.o.c.kle-doodly-dooed all over again.
5/E-I-E-I-O.
The bus drove for a very long time.
Paulie Allen Puffer was sitting with that Jim I hate. While we were riding, he stood up behind me.
"Junie B.! Junie B.! Listen to the song we just made up!" he said.
Then he and Jim started singing their song as loud as they could: "Old MacDonald had a nub.E-I-E-I-O.And on his nub he had a hat.E-I-E-I-O.With an ow! ow! ow! ow! here hereAnd an ow! ow! ow! ow! there. there.Here an ow! ow! There an There an ow! ow!Everywhere an ow! ow! ow! ow!Old MacDonald had a nub.E-I-E-I-O!"
Finally, I covered my ears with my hands so I couldn"t hear them anymore.
Then I singed a loud song of my own.
It is called "Ha Ha. I Can"t Hear You!"
I invented the words myself.
"Ha ha. I can"t hear you!Ha ha. I can"t hear you!Ha ha. I can"t hear you!"
I singed that song a jillion times, I think.
Then, all of a sudden, the bus turned down a long dirt road.
And oh no!
It was the farm! farm!
"We"re here! We"re here! We"re here!" shouted the children very thrilled.
I looked out the window.
There was a big house with trees all around it. Also, there was a barn and a tractor and some chickens.
I did a big gulp at those p.e.c.k.e.ry things.
"Cause chickens have pointy lips, just like roosters.
I quick scrunched down on the bus floor.
Then I hided under my backpack very sneaky. "Cause maybe if I kept real quiet, Mrs. wouldn"t see me. And I could hide on the bus the whole entire time.
Lucille and that Grace stood up from their seats. I made the shh! shh! sign at them. sign at them.
"Do not tell the teacher I"m here. And I mean mean it," I whispered. it," I whispered.
Only too bad for me. Because just then, I heard the worstest noise in the world.
It was the noise of a big, dumb tattletale boy.
"TEACHER! TEACHER! JUNIE B. JONES IS HIDING ON THE FLOOR! I SEE HER! I SEE HER!" shouted that meanie Jim.
"SHH!" I yelled.
But Jim did not shh.
Instead, he jumped right up on the bus seat. And he pointed his finger at me.
"SHE"S TRYING TO HIDE UNDER HER BACKPACK SO YOU WON"T SEE HER. BUT YOU CAN SEE ALMOST ALL OF HER PERFECTLY GOOD!"
He got off the seat and waved to me very teasing.
"Ta-ta," he said. Then he followed Lucille and Grace right off the bus.
After that, my heart got very poundy inside. "Cause I heard the sound of footprints, that"s why.
I scrunched myself tighter.
"Junie B.?"
It was the voice of Mrs.
I didn"t answer her.
"Junie B. I see see you, okay? Your backpack isn"t big enough to hide you," she said. you, okay? Your backpack isn"t big enough to hide you," she said.
I looked up real slow.
"h.e.l.lo. How are you today?" I said kind of nervous. "I am fine. Only I"m not actually hiding."
Mrs. crossed her arms.
"Then what are you actually doing?" she asked me.
I did a gulp.
"I"m tidying," I said.
"Tidying what?" asked Mrs.
I thinked fast.
"I"m tidying the floor," I told her.
I quick took off my bandanna. Then I wiped up the floor with it.
"Good news," I said. "It"s tidy now."
All of a sudden, I heard a chuckle.
I turned my head and saw some boots.
"Junie B. Jones," said Mrs., "I would like you to meet Farmer Flores. Farmer Flores owns the beautiful farm we"re going to be visiting today."
I raised my eyes very slow.
Then-finally-I looked all the way to the top of his head.
That"s when my arms got shivers all over them.
"Cause guess what?
Farmer Flores was wearing a hat.
6/Farmer Flores
Farmer Flores did a nice smile.
"Your teacher tells me that you"re not very happy about being here today," he said.