He broke a sweat as his completion neared. He kissed her, devouring the sweetness of her mouth. He drank in the sounds of her sighs. He"d never imagined lovemaking could be like this. That it could spin him out of control like a car on black ice. That it could make him lose his head and risk everything he"d ever believed in for a woman he shouldn"t trust.
A woman he trusted with his life.
The realization shattered him. He tried to block the thought; he didn"t want to deal with the consequences. But it was too late.
Saying her name over and over again, he spilled his seed into the deepest reaches of her body, and tried not to think about how much this was going to end up costing both of them.
Jake woke abruptly, his heart pounding, an icy sweat slicking the back of his neck. He"d been dreaming about Abby. Dreaming about taking her back and turning her over to D.O.C. at the ranger station. His heart had broken when they"d cuffed her. Then one of the officers had removed his gun from his holster. Jake had watched in horror as the other man put his gun to her head. Jake had tried to get to her, but everything had been moving in slow motion. A gunshot rang out. She"d dropped to the ground. He hadn"t been able to save her....
Shaken and disoriented by the dream, needing to feel her alive and warm against him, he reached for her. A needle of alarm pierced him when he found himself alone. Sitting up, he looked around, found the tent was empty.
Dread trickled into his mind one terrible drop at a time. Fear sat like a block of ice in his stomach, cold and hard enough to make him nauseous. The dream clung to him like a nasty, lingering illness. He told himself it was just a dream, not a premonition. Jake didn"t believe in premonitions. He told himself the dream was nothing more than a manifestation of the physical and emotional stress of the past three days, brought on by exhaustion and guilt.
Stepping into his jeans, he opened the tent flap and looked out. His heart banged hard against his chest when he saw Abby in the hot spring. She"d piled her hair on top of her head to keep it dry. Her back was to him, but Jake could see clearly the graceful curve of her neck. She was humming. An old song he hadn"t thought of in years about a sentimental lady. The lyrical sound of her voice warmed him. He watched her, dumbstruck by her beauty, shaken by the emotions crawling inside him.
She dipped into the water up to her chin, then splashed water on her face. Raising up slightly, she slid her hands down her arms and washed. Despite the disturbing remnants of the dream, arousal coursed through him. Her back was lovely, her bone structure angular and small. He remembered all the things they had done earlier and felt the familiar rush of blood to his groin. He knew he was getting in deep. That he was in miles over his head. Still, he wanted her. Wanted her more than his next breath.
He stepped out of the tent. Dawn had broken gray and cold with the threat of snow to the west. The cold wasn"t bitter, and Jake figured it would be raining in the lower elevations.
It had been raining in his dream.
Shaking off the unsettling thoughts, he stepped over to the pool. "Morning," he said.
Abby looked up and smiled at him beneath her lashes. "Hi."
"Sleep well?"
"Yeah. But I woke up cold."
"How"s the water?"
"Lonely."
His heart gave a single hard kick, then melted. Images of the night before spun through his brain. Remembering, he grinned. "You"re a sight for sore eyes in the morning."
She frowned, rolling her eyes upward toward her hair. "More like I"ll give you sore eyes in the morning."
"You"re the most beautiful woman I"ve ever seen."
"And you"re getting cold standing there without a shirt."
"Mind if I join you?"
She smiled again, that secret woman"s smile that always made him feel a little dizzy. "Only if you bring the coffee."
"Oh, right." Stepping into his boots, Jake dragged a small butane stove from his saddlebag and set the pan of water on the flame. He removed two cups and the tin of instant coffee.
"I hope you"re not hungry," he said.
"I"m okay."
He"d been about to say they were only a few hours from a warm room and hot food, but he didn"t want to bring that up. Not now. Looking away from her, he waited for the coffee.
How the h.e.l.l was he going to handle this?
Minutes later, he carried two steaming cups over to the water and set them on a flat rock. He was aware of Abby watching him as he unzipped his jeans and stepped out of them. He couldn"t hide that he was aroused, but she didn"t say anything, merely watched him with those incredible violet eyes.
He stepped into the water, picked up her coffee and took it over to her. With their faces less than a foot apart, they sipped.
"You make really bad coffee," she said.
Jake tried to smile, but he couldn"t. He couldn"t stop thinking about the dream, about what the next hours would bring for him. For her. How had he gotten into this situation? How could he have let himself get so involved?
He"d never felt so lousy in his life. Guilt and conscience and the cold, hard knowledge that he"d put everything he"d ever believed on the line tangled in his chest. The ensuing emotions strangled him. He wasn"t sure what was worse, wanting her and knowing he could never be with her. Or wanting her and knowing he was going to destroy her when he took her back.
"Jake?" she asked after a moment.
"Abby...." He didn"t know what to say. Didn"t know how to begin. How could he tell her how he felt without sounding like a hypocrite? I care about you, but I care about my career more and I"m going to take you back to jail so I can get on with my life.
h.e.l.l.
"Jake, what is it?"
Only then did he realize he was shaking. His hands were shaking so badly, he"d spilled some of his coffee into the pool. Concern glimmered in her eyes when she reached for him. Jake took a step back, but he wasn"t fast enough and her hand brushed the side of his face.
He wasn"t sure exactly what happened next. Just that one minute she was touching his face, the next his arms were around her and he had her up against the rocks, kissing her as though his life depended on it. She stiffened in surprise for an instant, then melted against him.
Her body was warm and supple against his. Urgent need coiled and snapped inside him. He knew she didn"t deserve to be taken this way, but his desire for her was too powerful and he wasn"t a strong enough man to resist. Reaching around her, he gripped her hips and brought her to him. He groaned when she opened and her legs went around his hips. He entered her with a single thrust and went deep.
Abby cried out once. Jake heard his own voice, but he wasn"t sure what he"d said. His mind blanked when she began to move with him. They moved together, slowly at first, testing their limits. Jake closed his eyes against the burst of emotions. He tried to concentrate on the pleasure exploding in his body, about to reach a fever pitch. He didn"t let himself think about what would happen when they reached the ranger station. He didn"t let himself think of the dream or the guilt eating away at his conscience. That he was taking an innocent woman to jail for a crime she hadn"t committed. He told himself he hadn"t fallen for her. That the only thing between them was l.u.s.t and a sort of mutual respect bred from three days of hard travel, high emotion and close proximity.
Completion bore down on him. He felt her muscles contract. Once. Twice. Jake let go of his control, and the climax crashed down on him with the force of an avalanche. Closing his eyes, he rode the waves, let the pleasure consume him.
For a few minutes the only sounds came from their heavy breathing and the wind through the trees. Jake was halfway out of the water. His back was getting cold. Abby shivered in his arms.
Gently, he lowered her into the steaming water. "You"re cold," he said.
"Just my shoulders."
"I didn"t...uh, mean for that to get out of hand like that."
She dipped her head, catching his gaze. "What"s got you so worried?"
Jake couldn"t meet her gaze, couldn"t look at her after making love to her and knowing how terribly he was about to hurt her. He felt like such a b.a.s.t.a.r.d. "Abby..."
"Jake, it"s okay."
"No, d.a.m.n it, it"s not. I"ve been beating my brains out, trying to think of a way to handle this without taking you back to D.O.C., but I can"t. At least not right away."
She stared back at him, her expression stricken, and it practically killed him.
"I meant everything I said to you. I"m not going to let this go." He was still intimately connected to her. As much as he needed to touch her, as much as he loved being inside her, he couldn"t have this conversation that way. Moving slightly away, he rubbed his hand over his face. "But that doesn"t change what I have to do."
"Go back without me. Tell them I got away. Tell them about the sniper-"
"Abby, I hate this, but I can"t do that."
"You can, Jake. Between the two of us, we ought to be able to prove what I suspect about Reed. I mean, you believe me. You know I didn"t-"
"No, Abby."
She drifted back in the water, her eyes wide and accusing. "Oh, I get it, I"m good enough to sleep with, but I"m not good enough to stand up for, is that it?"
"No," he snapped. "d.a.m.n it, don"t ever let me hear you say that again."
"I don"t need to say it, Jake. Your actions speak louder than words."
"I can"t leave you up here with no food or water or transportation and a sniper on the loose! We"ve had this conversation before, and I haven"t changed my mind."
"What about what happened between us last night?" Panic fringed her voice. "Doesn"t that mean anything to you?"
"h.e.l.l yes it does! It means a lot to me. But that doesn"t mean I"m going to leave you up here to die!"
"I"d rather take my chances with the sniper."
"You have to go back. At least until I can get some proof. A few days. A couple of weeks, max. I won"t let anything happen to you. Do you hear me?" One step and he was upon her. His fingers wrapped around her arms, and he shook her gently. "I"m not going to let anything happen to you. I care, d.a.m.n it! I care about you more than you know, Abby. So don"t go laying guilt on me. I"m doing the only thing I can. I"m doing what I think is right."
She choked out a sob. "You didn"t care about right or wrong a moment ago!"
Guilt pierced him. Jake let her go and stepped back. He knew how this looked to her. That he"d used her in the worst way a man could use a woman and was about to discard her back into the same system that had let her down so horribly.
"You"re going to have to trust me," he said after a moment.
"The last man who asked me to trust him sent me to prison."
"I"m nothing like Reed," he growled.
"You"re just a little bit more up front about it."
"I"m not going to let you do something stupid, Abby. I"m not going to let anyone hurt you. And I"m not going to let you rot in prison for something you didn"t do."
He could tell by the look in her eyes that she didn"t believe him. It shouldn"t have hurt, but it did. And Jake felt the pain all the way to his soul.
By the time Jake and Abby hit the dirt road leading to the ranger station, the snow had changed to drizzle. A cold, bone-chilling drizzle that invariably found its way to the skin. Abby couldn"t bring herself to care about the physical discomfort. She didn"t even have the energy left to shiver. Her hair was soaked, but she hadn"t even bothered with the hood of the duster. In the scope of things hypothermia seemed like nothing compared to the humiliations she faced in the coming hours-and the prospect of spending the rest of her life behind bars.
Jake rode a few feet ahead of her, his expression stony. Pain sliced her every time she looked at him. He"d been watchful throughout the morning hours. He"d spoken to her several times, but Abby hadn"t responded. She knew it was wrong of her, but she was angry with him. She couldn"t let go of the hurt. Or the sense of betrayal that clamped down on her heart like a vise every time she thought about what he had done to her. She couldn"t believe that after everything they"d shared he was going to go through with this. That he was going to turn her in. She felt the betrayal like a knife in her back.
A mile from the ranger station a chopper flew by low to the ground. Jake reached quickly for the flare, struck it against the leather sole of his boot. The flare hissed, then began spewing orange smoke. Jake tossed it to the ground.
"They spotted us," he said.
The finality of the statement sent a shiver through her. She wanted to say something, but her chest was tight with fear and dread. What was left to say, anyway?
"They"ll be expecting us." Pulling up on the reins, he stopped the horse and turned in the saddle to look at her. "I meant what I said, Abby. Don"t think I"m not going to keep my word."
She ignored him, focusing instead on the horizon to the west, the jagged snow-capped peaks, the hawk wheeling high above the trees by the stream that ran parallel with the trail.
Only when he dismounted and started toward her did she look at him. "Come here," he snapped.
"What are you going to do, cuff me?"
"I have a few things I want to say to you, and you"re not listening."
"Look, Jake, don"t make this any more difficult than it already is."
"Get down off of that mule, or I"m going to pull you off."
Cursing under her breath, she dismounted, then faced him. "Happy?"
"No. This is killing me."
"Yeah? You should try it from my perspective. It"s not exactly a walk in the park."
He stepped toward her. "Come here."
She stepped back. "Why?"
"I want to hold you for a moment."
"Or maybe you want something quick and dirty before we get back to the-"
"That"s enough!" he snapped. "That"s not how any of this happened and you know it. Don"t cheapen what happened between us because you don"t like the way I"m handling this."
"I don"t have to cheapen it. You"ve already-"
"Don"t say it, Abby. d.a.m.n it, don"t even think it."
The pain cut her like a knife twisting under her ribs. Unable to endure it, she reached desperately for her anger. Anything was better than the hurt. "All I know is I slept with you and now you"re taking me back to prison. You claim to believe me, and yet you don"t see fit to keep me out of prison."
"I"m doing what I have to do to protect both of us. I was hoping you"d have a little bit more faith in me."
"Forgive me if I don"t, but it seems to me like you"re mostly interested in protecting your own interests."
"I can"t help you if I lose my credibility."
"We wouldn"t want that to happen, would we?"
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jake closed his eyes and cursed. "The right thing isn"t always the easiest, Abby. You of all people should know that."