"People are going to think we got into a fight."
"We did."
Despite the lingering fear and the cold realization of how differently things could have turned out, Abby smiled.
Across from her, Jake concentrated on keeping the ice against her temple. His left hand rested gently on her bicep. Slowly, she felt him relax one degree at a time. The hard lines of his face softened. She hadn"t realized it before, but Jake Madigan made a frightening picture when he was angry.
"You"re making a habit of saving my life, you know," she said.
"That"s my job."
"Well, you"re really good at it."
He looked her straight in the eyes. "I"m good at a lot of things."
Abby swallowed hard, felt her heart kick against her breastbone. She wanted to say something back to him, but her brain seemed to have short-circuited. She wanted to think it was because of the stress of the situation. The storm. The close quarters. The madman with a gun. But she knew her reaction had more to do with the way he was looking at her.
Images from their tussle in the snow that morning came to her unbidden. Her lying in the snow. Him on top of her, solid and warm and pressed against her as intimately as a lover. She tried not to think about the kiss-she knew better than to toss gasoline into a flame-but the memory taunted her with its forbidden sweetness. She remembered the look of utter astonishment in his eyes when she"d pressed her mouth to his. The way his body had jolted. The instant of his surrender. Then his firm mouth had taken hers captive. He"d shifted closer. The growl of frustration in his throat when he"d realized he couldn"t get any closer. All the things he"d done to her mouth with his tongue....
Yes, she thought dazedly, Jake Madigan definitely knew how to kiss a woman. She wanted him to kiss her now. Wanted his firm mouth against hers. Wanted to feel him surrender to her.
Desire flickered like a hot flame in her belly. She told herself none of this was going to matter in the long run. That she could give in to the needs churning inside her and kiss this man and not suffer any consequences. It wasn"t as if a kiss was going to change anything. It certainly wasn"t going to mean anything. It couldn"t.
She stared up at him. His flint-gray eyes had softened to the color of a twilight sky. That magical moment between day and night when the stars were born and the last vestiges of the sunset died on the horizon.
"What are you thinking?" she whispered.
"Things I shouldn"t be."
"Why not?"
"Because I know better." His jaw flexed. "So do you."
Abby knew they were playing with fire, and getting much too close to the flames. She knew she would probably be the one to get burned. But for a little while she didn"t want to care. She didn"t want to think about repercussions or right or wrong. All she wanted was for this man to kiss her.
She knew he was going to an instant before he moved. He leaned toward her, his eyes darkening like the summer sky before a storm. Abby thought she was prepared. But the instant he touched his mouth to hers, all bets were off.
Jake didn"t just kiss her. He devoured her mouth with a hunger that sucked the oxygen from her lungs and left her head spinning like a top. The floor tilted crazily beneath her. If she hadn"t reached up and put her arms around his shoulders, she would have slunk to the floor into a boneless heap.
His mouth fused to hers, and Abby"s senses exploded. She tasted heat and the heady taste of aroused male. A man who knew what he wanted and wasn"t afraid to take it, consequences be d.a.m.ned. She heard labored breathing, but she wasn"t sure if it was his or hers. Bright light burst behind her eyes. All the while, his mouth danced with hers, an unyielding partner who liked to lead and didn"t mind stepping on her toes.
At some point, the cold compress left her temple. She felt restless hands on her shoulders, skimming down her back, then lower. His shoulders were like steel beneath her fingers, corded and fraught with tension. It had been a long time since a man had touched her, and Abby"s senses heightened to a fever pitch. Every touch, every shudder, seemed multiplied exponentially, racing through her body and exploding in her brain like a powerful drug.
His hands fell to her hips. Large hands that were calloused from manual labor, yet gentle enough to heal wounds and ease pain. He held her against him with those hands and she could feel the hard length of him at her feminine core, straining closer, burning her with the intensity of his need.
She opened her mouth, for a breath or maybe to gasp, she wasn"t sure, but he took the opportunity and deepened the kiss. His teeth clicked against hers, his tongue going deep, penetrating her. Abby accepted him, rode with the dizziness stealing her equilibrium. In the back of her mind she wondered how she would survive this. If he could knock her senseless with just a kiss, how was she going to react if they took this any further?
Jake couldn"t remember the last time he"d lost his head. Maybe the day he"d been fifteen and watched little Jimmy Baine get sucked under the ice.
He"d known he was going to do something stupid and screw this up sooner or later. The writing had been on the wall since the moment he"d sat in on the briefing at RMSAR headquarters and seen this woman"s mug shot and those incredible violet eyes.
Kissing her like this definitely qualified as stupid.
And he"d definitely lost his cool.
But she made his blood pound like no other woman he"d ever met. One taste of her mouth and he couldn"t stop. He couldn"t even see straight. The woman made him crazy with needs he swore he"d never give in to, made him glad to relinquish the control he"d always prided himself on having. Made him wonder if maybe she was worth making a mistake for.
Need and frustration coiled and snapped inside him as he kissed her. Arousal flared hot and deep in his groin. And her mouth... Her mouth was making him nuts. She tasted sweet, like ripe, succulent fruit, and Jake wanted to devour her.
Kissing this way wasn"t his usual modus operandi with women. Jake had always prided himself on being a gentleman. On being slow and thorough and sure. He respected women and treated them with dignity. He was a gentle lover and never caved in to urgency. He"d never been p.r.o.ne to wildly hot kisses and groping like some fuzz-face teenager struggling with his first bout of hormones.
But he couldn"t stop kissing her, didn"t want to stop touching her. He didn"t care about consequences or regret, or pause to think about where this might lead.
Her body was soft and fragile and warm against his. Her scent was inside his head. The feel of her body against his was in his blood, setting his veins on fire. Kissing her, he ran his fingers through her hair, tangled them in the thick ma.s.s of curls. He wanted to get lost in her hair. He wanted to get inside her. Wanted to feel her wet heat wrap around him.
She was pressed snugly against him. He could feel her b.r.e.a.s.t.s against his chest, her heart raging against his, and felt another layer of his control flutter away. Running his hands over her hips and sides, he slipped his hands between them and cupped her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She gasped and arched. He molded her flesh with his fingers. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were small and firm and filled his palms like soft fruits. Even through the thick fabric of the jumpsuit, he could feel the hardened peaks of her nipples.
His control teetered. Growling low in his throat, he deepened the kiss. The need to touch her jumped through him like an electrical surge. Sweat broke out on the back of his neck.
Gently, he unzipped her jumpsuit, slipped his hands inside. Making a small sound in her throat, she arched against him. His knees went weak at the feel of her bare flesh against his palms. He caressed her nipples with his fingertips. She shivered in his arms. He slid his hands down her belly, over taut, quivering flesh. His fingers brushed the soft cotton of her panties. His heart went wild in his chest, the need pounding through him with every beat. She whispered something in his ear, but he couldn"t hear her, didn"t understand the words. Every cell in his brain focused on the pleasure coursing through him. The pressure of her mouth against his. The softness of her flesh. Her scent inside his head, driving him crazy with the need for more of her.
His fingers found the crisp curls at her vee. She stiffened against him, but he didn"t stop. He separated her, then dipped two fingers into wet heat.
Abby jolted in his arms, crying out softly.
"Easy," he whispered, and began to stroke her. Once. Twice.
When she opened to him, Jake closed his eyes and he was lost. To reason. To sanity. He was as lost as any hiker had ever been in the vast wilderness of the Rocky Mountains. The ache in his groin was a physical pain. A sweet ache that echoed through his body like the flu, intoxicating him like a drug, making him believe in the impossible and want crazy things.
s.e.xual contact with an escaped convict was definitely crazy.
Jake had made plenty of mistakes over the years. He figured he"d learned something from most of them, and the lesson had been worth the cost. This was different. If he let this go any further, it was going to end up costing both of them far more than they were willing to pay.
What the h.e.l.l was he thinking throwing his career away for a convict? A woman who had no compunction about manipulating him to get what she wanted? A woman who threatened his control so that he was willing to risk everything he"d ever worked for for just one taste of her mouth?
The questions dragged him back to his senses. Back to his own personal code of honor. To his career as a law enforcement officer. To his dignity. Back to a situation that was every bit as dangerous to him as the man with a rifle outside.
It took every bit of discipline he could muster to pull away from her, but he did. His body wasn"t happy about it, and frustration snapped through him like a bull whip. He knew better than to risk everything for something as simple as l.u.s.t.
The problem was, there hadn"t been anything even remotely simple about what had just happened between them.
"This is wrong," he said in a hoa.r.s.e voice.
She stepped back, her cheeks flushed, her lips kiss-bruised and wet. Grasping the edges of her jumpsuit with white-knuckled hands, she reached for the zipper and jerked it up to her chin. Her violet eyes were wide and wary and didn"t quite meet his. She was breathing hard, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s rising and falling with each breath. He could still feel the warmth of her flesh against his palms. Her wetness on his fingers. The hard nubs of her nipples where they"d brushed against his chest. Frustration burned him. The realization of how close he"d come to making an irrevocable mistake shamed him.
"I"m...sorry," he said. "I shouldn"t have let that happen."
Turning away from him, she hugged herself as if from a chill. Her shoulders were rigid. Her head down. He wanted to go to her, but he didn"t. He could only imagine how she must feel. Used. Humiliated. And he refused to acknowledge the sharp edge of need stabbing him in the gut.
Jake didn"t usually feel the need to talk. Silence usually suited him just fine. Even so, he found himself scrambling for something to say. "That was...my fault." The words sounded lame even to him.
"Mine, too," she said. "I mean, I don"t take things like what just happened between us lightly."
"Yeah, well, here"s a news flash for you, Blondie. Neither do I."
She turned to face him, her eyes seeking his. Jake stared at her mouth, aroused and wanting her no matter how wrong it was. She must have noticed because she stepped back, bit her lip. "We got...carried away. We"ve been...cooped up together. You know, close quarters. It could happen to anyone."
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jake lowered his head and let out a humorless laugh. "I"m a cop, Abby. Do you have any idea what I"ve done by..." h.e.l.l, he wasn"t sure how to finish the sentence. What had he just done? "s.e.xual misconduct with a prisoner? That"s...inexcusable."
"Jake-"
"The corrections guys who take advantage of the women inmates. h.e.l.l, Abby, they"re worse than sc.u.m. d.a.m.n it, it happens a lot, and I"ve just done the same thing."
Her eyes heated. "Is that what I am to you, Jake? An inmate?"
"I shouldn"t have touched you."
"It"s not like you were doing it against my will."
"I"m a cop, Abby! Do you have any idea how serious an offense it is for me to...touch you like that?"
"Afraid for your job?" she asked nastily.
It was more than his job. He didn"t want to say it. But he figured they both knew it. "That was worse than irresponsible, Abby. You"ve got the right to file a complaint with the sheriff"s department against me when we get back," he said tightly.
"I"m not going to file a complaint."
"I shouldn"t have let this get out of hand."
"This isn"t out of hand. We"ll...take responsibility for our actions like two adults and move on, okay?"
"I can"t let this matter, Abby. d.a.m.n it, I can"t let you matter."
The flash of pain in her eyes came and went so quickly, he wasn"t sure if he"d seen it at all. But he could tell by the way her eyes skated away that the statement had hurt her. She didn"t cry; she wouldn"t now, he knew. Abby Nichols was too tough to cry. But the pain shimmering in her eyes was unmistakable, and Jake felt like a b.a.s.t.a.r.d for putting it there.
He wanted to go to her, wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her against him. He wanted to take away her hurt. Tell her that everything was going to be all right. But he knew it wasn"t. Not for Abby Nichols. And, d.a.m.n it, not for him.
Sleep refused to come to Jake again. He spent the predawn hours walking the cabin, going from window to window, watching for the sniper, thinking about the truckload of mistakes he"d made in the last twenty-four hours. He tried not to think of the woman sleeping on the other side of the room. The way she"d felt when he"d held her. The way she bit her lip when she was nervous. The sound of her laughter. The haunted expression on her face when she spoke of the time she"d spent in prison. The way those eyes knocked him for a loop every time he looked at her.
He"d crossed a line with her. Not only with his professional code of ethics, but a personal line, too, that disturbed him even more. After Elaine, Jake had sworn he"d never be taken in again. Elaine had wormed her way into his life. Used her female charms to get under his skin, her little boy to gain access to his heart. He"d fallen for her, and she"d made a fool of him. Worse, Jake had allowed it. He"d been in so deep with her-with her child-he"d refused to read the writing on the wall. He"d compromised himself. And because he hadn"t had the strength to do the right thing, he"d sold himself out and she"d stepped in and cut out his heart.
How could he even consider making the same mistake with Abby? She"d escaped from prison, tried to manipulate him with her body. She"d told him a crazy story about transplant organs and a respected doctor. Why had he let her get to him? Why on earth did he believe her? Why couldn"t he do the right thing and turn the other cheek and let the legal system work?
Because you got it bad for her, Madigan. Just like you did for Elaine, and look where that got you.
Bracing his hand against the mantel above the hearth, Jake leaned forward and brooded into the fire. Regardless of how he felt about Abby, he was going to have to take her back. He should have felt better having made that decision. It was the right thing to do. The only sane thing to do.
For the life of him he couldn"t figure out why that didn"t make him feel any better.
Dawn broke with a sky full of brilliant sunshine and temperatures that hovered just below freezing. The wind had finally died and Jake fervently hoped Tony Colorosa and the rest of the RMSAR team would be out in full force.
He woke Abby when the coffee was brewed. He handed her a cup, unable to keep himself from noticing how beautiful she"d looked curled in her sleeping bag. The urge to touch her tested his resolve, but Jake steeled himself against it and put the thought out of his mind. With the same cool professionalism he used with all the prisoners he"d transported, he informed her she had fifteen minutes to wash up, eat a few nuts and raisins and meet him outside.
By eight o"clock, they were mounted up and heading east, toward the nearest ranger station. Jake was still uneasy about the sniper, so he"d decided on a secondary trail that was protected by aspen and pines and rocky ridges no man could scale on a snowmobile. It would take a little longer to get where they were going, but he figured it was worth it to avoid getting shot.
"How long until we arrive?" she asked.
Jake looked over at her, felt that familiar tightening in his chest at the sight of her. She"d found something to pull her hair back with. She looked lovely with her hair away from her face. Her cheekbones were high and tinged pink from the cold. Her brows were thin and very dark over her violet eyes. The woman made an unforgettable picture. A picture that would be with him for a long, long time.
"We should make it by dark," he said. "If the snow doesn"t slow us down too much."
"This trail doesn"t look like it gets used often."
"The other trail is too open. I didn"t want to take any chances with the sniper."
Abby glanced over her shoulder uneasily. Her face was pale. For a second her eyes had the wild look of a scared animal, and he knew she was remembering the close call from the night before. The b.u.mp on her temple was just beginning to turn purple. Jake hated seeing it, hated knowing someone had hurt her, wanted to hurt her some more. As much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to feel protective of her.
How you going to feel handing her over to D.O.C., hot shot?
The question made him wince. Prison was no place for a woman like Abby. It would destroy her. The notion of seeing her spirit crushed by such a harsh life tortured him. Most of the criminals he put in jail deserved to be there. Most were hardened. Violent. Remorseless. Abby was none of those things. She possessed a very real softness that made her all too human. A vulnerability she disguised with layers of toughness. But those layers were as gossamer as a b.u.t.terfly"s wings. He couldn"t fathom her hurting anyone. Not in a million years. Yet here he was, taking her back....
A sliver of guilt pierced Jake. He wasn"t sure exactly when it had happened, but at some point he"d come to the conclusion that Abby was not a killer. Even if she had injected that patient with the wrong drug, Jake knew in his gut it had been an accident. Things weren"t adding up. Not the woman in his charge. Or the sniper determined to snuff out her life. And as much as he didn"t want to believe it, his instincts were telling him it all had to do with one Dr. Jonathan Reed at Mercy General Hospital in Denver.
"I"ve been thinking about your case," he said after a moment.
She shot him a wary look.
"You"ve told me enough for me to know the D.A."s case was shot full of holes." When she still didn"t respond, he slowed his horse and let her pull up beside him. "I thought I"d look into your case after we get back. Check out a couple of things."
"Don"t say something because you feel guilty about what happened back at the cabin."
Jake swung around to face her, quick anger snapping through him. "That doesn"t have a d.a.m.n thing to do with-"
"Don"t say something you"ll regret later. Just because we...we..."
"This has nothing to do with what happened between us at the cabin last night."
She slanted him a nasty look. "You"re feeling guilty."
"You"re d.a.m.n right I"m feeling guilty."
"Because you acted inappropriately with a prisoner? Or maybe it"s because you don"t want anyone to know about it and this is your way of placating me."
Jake said nothing, his temper simmering.
"Forgive me if I don"t believe you."
"Look, Abby, you"ve told me some things about your case that need to be checked out." When she wouldn"t stop her mount, he snagged the mule"s lead rope and stopped both animals. "d.a.m.n it, listen to me."