The punches of determination and resolve settled in his eyes like lava cooling into obsidian. "You have my word. I"ll kill Scarlet."
The tension in the room thickened to the consistency of cottage cheese.
Zoe had no choice but to trust the same Fyre Elemental who had betrayed her and Gavin before. She hoped she wasn"t making the biggest mistake of her life.
Chapter Thirty-five.
Jet couldn"t fathom why Sinnder would want to help the Sentinels. Only thing she could figure was that it had to do with some history he had with Scarlet. The woman made it her business to mess with Zoe and Gavin, so it shouldn"t have surprised Jet that Scarlet had somehow wronged Sinnder, too. Seemed she enjoyed stirring the misery soup quite a bit.
When Sinnder finished giving Vexx the details of the terrorist plot, he headed for the door amid a barrage of wary stares. You couldn"t trust a Fyre.
So why did Jet want to?
"I"ll see you out." She held the door and followed him outside into the static-laden darkness. Backing against a huge, thick tree for comfort, she slid her fingers across the cold, rough bark. Peace.
Sinnder"s eyes glowed softly through the gray night. "You don"t like me much, do you, Hawthorne?"
Her breath caught, and she swallowed hard. "I don"t know you well enough to pa.s.s judgment. Why do you care what I think, anyway?"
Twigs and leaves crunched under his boots as he moved closer and pinned her to the tree with his sharp gaze. "You saved Harriet. That means something to me."
"So, you"re joining forces with Sentinels and Waeter Elementals because you think it"ll please me? Is this some sort of a penance for you? Trying to make up for a lifetime of sins against humanity and...dingoes?"
His soft laughter brushed her skin. Fyre pheromones flavored his warm breath. Inhaling the rich scent, she countered with a chemical release of her own, more reaction than intent. She pulled her hoodie tight around her as the G.o.dforsaken wind kicked up again.
Closing his eyes, he turned his head into the breeze and breathed deeply. Hunger filtered through his gaze when he looked at her again. He reached for her cheek, but she batted his hand away.
"I guess you"re right. I have a lot to atone for and need to make amends before it"s too late." He backed away and slowly circled the tree. "Would you like to hear my confession? Let"s see if I can remember how to do this." His voice took on a condescending tone, ripe with sarcasm.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It"s been 1,399 years since my last confession. In that time, I"ve put other G.o.ds before you." He ticked off one finger. "Taken your name in vain. Neglected to keep the Sabbath holy. Murdered. Committed adultery. Stolen. Lied. And coveted many, many neighbors" wives."
Sinnder ended a foot away from Jet and placed his palm against the tree beside her head. "What sort of penance will all of that get me?" His spicy, sweet breath tickled her nose again and sent ripples of strange heat through her belly.
Jet dug her fingernails into the bark before answering. "I"m not here to pa.s.s judgment. You don"t need someone else"s forgiveness. The ghosts of your past are just that. Long gone. It sounds to me like you need to forgive yourself."
A far-off look descended over his face. "Maybe. I"ll forgive myself when Scarlet"s dead. Then I"ll be free."
G.o.ds, his closeness stirred embers of desire in her gut. It was an effect of his Fire. Nothing else.
Wait, what did he say?
"You"ll "be free." What does that mean?"
"Nothing. It means nothing." He turned away, but she caught his forearm with a gentle grip and held it. Grounding herself with her other hand against the tree, she siphoned cool strength from the wood to counteract the growing heat in her belly. Keep steady.
That would have been easy with anyone but him. Suddenly she was back in middle school watching Johnny Franklin across the lunchroom, b.u.t.terflies swarming her stomach, and spilling milk into her lap.
What was it with this guy? Byrn had never affected her like this.
Sinnder stared at her hand on his arm. No emotion crossed his face, but for the first time in years, her body was warm all over. Even her ears. They never got hot.
She let go of him. That insectile scrutiny of his returned. That feeling of being a big bug in his tiny jar. Without any air holes.
"If someone offered you a way off the Fyre Council, out of Eidan"s grip, would you take it?" Jet had no idea what she was saying, but this man was in pain and needed help. She could figure out what she really meant later.
"Who"s gonna save me from Eidan, Hawthorne?" He reached out to her again, paused as if to see whether she"d deck him, then smoothed her cheek. The hard stone of her gut melted. He focused on her lips and dipped in closer.
"You gonna be my knight in shining armor?" His mouth hovered inches from hers. "You"ve got the strength in this body for it." One of his hands slipped just below her armpit and slid down her side. The other pulled off her gla.s.ses.
For a split second, she saw Tyson-the Fyre who"d raped her years ago-standing before her. She froze.
Wake up, Jet. Tyson"s dead.
She shook away the disturbing image, shoved Sinnder"s hand aside, and s.n.a.t.c.hed her gla.s.ses back. "I can help you get out of here, if that"s what you want. Maybe there"s a place for you in the Librus Group. Jack-"
Sinnder"s heat dissipated like a bag of wind, leaving disgust in its wake. He backed up. "Not interested. I don"t play well with others."
Best not to push. Jet had overstepped the line by even bringing up the Librus Group. "I understand."
He blurred into the shadows. Another bolt of lightning lit the sky, silhouetting his profile. The hard angles of his clenched jaw were a strong foil to his soft, red-streaked hair. The whole package was a conundrum, really. Hot one moment, cold the next. The nature of Fyres.
Thunder boomed. He paused his steps and looked up to the agitated sky. A frown curled the corners of his mouth down.
Ma.s.sive storm coming, and it probably wouldn"t involve any rain.
A sigh puffed through his lips, so soft she almost missed it. "If something...happens, would you look after Harriet?"
The world was about to end, and the big, bad Fyre was worried about a dingo? He was just full of surprises. Jet nodded. "Sure."
He locked his gaze on hers and held it tight for a good fifteen seconds. "Thank you, Hawthorne." With the snick of a cigarette lighter, a flame erupted near his thumb, illuminating his deadly, handsome face. He melted into the fire and disappeared.
Jet rubbed a hand across her chest. Every time he called her "Hawthorne," her tough, steady heart stumbled out of rhythm.
Gavin lay behind Zoe on his bed, the voices of his new and abundant "roommates" beyond the door rising and falling with jokes and gibes. With a sigh, he shut them-and the latest news report he"d seen of fifty more deaths in Queensland-out of his mind. There would be no peace until after the equinox.
After he dropped Vexx off at the house that afternoon, he"d worked up the nerve to go to Scarlet again, only to have his d.i.c.k stick up another "Do not disturb" sign by the time he tracked down her Fire at a local swingers club. He didn"t even bother to get out of his car. No point in angering the b.i.t.c.h further with his impotence.
Numb. He"d reached a point of being f.u.c.king numb.
He fanned Zoe"s long, blond-streaked hair across his naked chest, and let the soft strands tickle his skin. Lying beside her refilled his Water stores and soothed a little of his worry.
But not all of it.
Sinnder had undoubtedly recognized Scarlet"s Fire an hour ago in the lounge room. Why hadn"t he said anything? He could"ve exposed Gavin"s secret-could"ve ruined Gavin and Zoe once and for all-but he kept quiet. Sinnder didn"t strike Gavin as the generous type, so there must"ve been a motivation behind it. Another layer of lies to worry about on top of the s.h.i.t-pie Gavin had buried himself under.
"Stay with me until I fall asleep." Zoe stretched into him.
Switching the channel of his thoughts, Gavin tightened his arms around her lithe body, brushing a tight nipple in the process. Instant hard-on. He shifted his hips to keep from poking her.
Scarlet"s Fire stirred.
No. Go back to your cage where you belong, b.i.t.c.h.
He dropped a kiss on Zoe"s bare shoulder and tapped into the Water flowing through her body. The Fire simmered down.
He"d been on the verge of a full-blown mental meltdown a couple days ago. What had changed? Scarlet was still alive inside him and kicking like a mule. But the more time he spent with Zoe, the easier Scarlet was to control.
His best guess was that Zoe"s love-her Water-had grown stronger. He didn"t want to jinx his luck by a.s.suming that he was the cause, but it seemed a logical conclusion. And he couldn"t deny, the thought of her loving him more each day made him giddy as a tween at a Bieber concert.
Whatever the reason for his new ability to handle the Fire better, one thing was clear. Zoe was his lifeboat in the sea of chaos trying to claim him. Without her, he had no chance of keeping Scarlet down.
Zoe draped an arm over his lightly glowing tattoos and caressed his skin in slow circles. "What do you dream about, Gavin?"
"I don"t dream anymore." One of the disadvantages of being a Sentinel. His dreams were Wyldling creations, not his own.
"That"s not what I mean." She turned in his arms and gazed at him. "What are your hopes for the future? What do you wish you could have?"
Where to start? The list was a kilometer long. "Aside from you?" And getting this psycho Fire b.i.t.c.h out of me?
She smiled. "You already have me."
"Not forever."
"Is that what you want? A forever with me?"
f.u.c.k, yes, forever with her. "I want you to be happy. Whatever that means."
"Disregarding everything that might keep us apart, what do you want?"
"More hot fudge sundaes."
Blue laughter welled from deep in her chest and shook the bed. "Okay. Sundaes are good. I want to go furniture shopping with you at Ikea for stupid, kitschy stuff to put in the fixer-upper house we buy together."
He jerked back. "What? No boat? I"m ashamed of you, Dr. Morgan."
Her eyes sparked under the dim light from the bedside table. "Ooh, yes. A boat instead of a house. We could keep it docked here in Hervey Bay when we"re not trolling the high seas together like pirates."
G.o.d, that dream was so far from his personal h.e.l.l of a reality right now, it hurt to think about it. He let his imagination run wild anyway.
"I want you to introduce me to your whales," he said. "No business, only pleasure."
"You"d probably be bored to tears."
"I"d love it." To see her worry-free in her natural environment would be the best gift ever.
"I would, too." She fell silent and stroked his cheek with the backs of her fingers.
The tenderness in her touch was more than he could stand. "Take the job, Zed. You have to follow your heart."
The colors in her aura fractured and shifted, unable to settle. "What if my heart doesn"t know what it wants? It"s split down the middle. I don"t trust this wishy-washy ticker to make the right decision."
"You can"t throw away a lifetime of work for a f.u.c.k-up bloke you can"t even sleep next to. You"re too smart for that."
"You"re not a f.u.c.k-up."
His heart clenched. She didn"t know the half of it.
"What would staying with me get you? You"d be miserable without your career."
She angled her head up and stared at him, a sad expression warring within her gaze. "And you"d be miserable without yours."
Maybe, but he would give it up for her. If he had to. But for now, it was easier to feed the lie than bleed needy desperation everywhere when he should be encouraging her. "Yep. I would."
She readjusted and curled her hands under his chin, against his chest. There was that lovely Water again. But a shade darker this time. "Can we go back to our dreams now? I don"t like reality a whole lot at the moment."
Neither did he. "All right. I wish we could sleep together every night, on our houseboat, surrounded by whales, with a lifetime supply of hot fudge stocked in the cupboards. How"s that?"
"Yes. And we could slurp Ramen noodles, huddled under a blanket on the deck, stargazing while Just Breathe songs play on our kicka.s.s sound system."
He laughed. "That would be the life."
"It would be perfect."
They lay silent for several minutes, bodies and minds entangled. He thought Zoe had fallen asleep, but then she lifted her head and looked at him through heavy-lidded eyes. Her hair was a jumble, her breath soft. The most beautiful G.o.dd.a.m.n thing he"d ever seen.
"I love you, Gavin."
His heart twisted behind his ribs and released a flood of Water that could have knocked over a telephone pole. He laid a soft, lingering kiss on her lips and whispered against them, "I love you, too."
Gavin dropped his head to her shoulder and inhaled her lavender scent, drank in the Water lazing beneath her skin. The missing piece of the f.u.c.ked up jigsaw puzzle of his life snapped into place with a quiet click. He was complete. If only for the moment.
Chapter Thirty-six.