Sidney went on night duty shortly after her acceptance. All of her orderly young life had been divided into two parts: day, when one played or worked, and night, when one slept. Now she was compelled to a readjustment: one worked in the night and slept in the day. Things seemed unnatural, chaotic. At the end of her first night report Sidney added what she could remember of a little verse of Stevenson"s. She added it to the end of her general report, which was to the effect that everything had been quiet during the night except the neighborhood.
"And does it not seem hard to you, When all the sky is clear and blue, And I should like so much to play, To have to go to bed by day?"
The day a.s.sistant happened on the report, and was quite scandalized.
"If the night nurses are to spend their time making up poetry," she said crossly, "we"d better change this hospital into a young ladies"
seminary. If she wants to complain about the noise in the street, she should do so in proper form."
"I don"t think she made it up," said the Head, trying not to smile.
"I"ve heard something like it somewhere, and, what with the heat and the noise of traffic, I don"t see how any of them get any sleep."
But, because discipline must be observed, she wrote on the slip the a.s.sistant carried around: "Please submit night reports in prose."
Sidney did not sleep much. She tumbled into her low bed at nine o"clock in the morning, those days, with her splendid hair neatly braided down her back and her prayers said, and immediately her active young mind filled with images--Christine"s wedding, Dr. Max pa.s.sing the door of her old ward and she not there, Joe--even Tillie, whose story was now the sensation of the Street. A few months before she would not have cared to think of Tillie. She would have retired her into the land of things-one-must-forget. But the Street"s conventions were not holding Sidney"s thoughts now. She puzzled over Tillie a great deal, and over Grace and her kind.
On her first night on duty, a girl had been brought in from the Avenue.
She had taken a poison--n.o.body knew just what. When the internes had tried to find out, she had only said: "What"s the use?"
And she had died.
Sidney kept asking herself, "Why?" those mornings when she could not get to sleep. People were kind--men were kind, really,--and yet, for some reason or other, those things had to be. Why?
After a time Sidney would doze fitfully. But by three o"clock she was always up and dressing. After a time the strain told on her. Lack of sleep wrote hollows around her eyes and killed some of her bright color.
Between three and four o"clock in the morning she was overwhelmed on duty by a perfect madness of sleep. There was a penalty for sleeping on duty. The old night watchman had a way of slipping up on one nodding.
The night nurses wished they might fasten a bell on him!
Luckily, at four came early-morning temperatures; that roused her. And after that came the clatter of early milk-wagons and the rose hues of dawn over the roofs. Twice in the night, once at supper and again toward dawn, she drank strong black coffee. But after a week or two her nerves were stretched taut as a string.
Her station was in a small room close to her three wards. But she sat very little, as a matter of fact. Her responsibility was heavy on her; she made frequent rounds. The late summer nights were fitful, feverish; the darkened wards stretched away like caverns from the dim light near the door. And from out of these caverns came petulant voices, uneasy movements, the banging of a cup on a bedside, which was the signal of thirst.
The older nurses saved themselves when they could. To them, perhaps just a little weary with time and much service, the banging cup meant not so much thirst as annoyance. They visited Sidney sometimes and cautioned her.
"Don"t jump like that, child; they"re not parched, you know."
"But if you have a fever and are thirsty--"
"Thirsty nothing! They get lonely. All they want is to see somebody."
"Then," Sidney would say, rising resolutely, "they are going to see me."
Gradually the older girls saw that she would not save herself. They liked her very much, and they, too, had started in with willing feet and tender hands; but the thousand and one demands of their service had drained them dry. They were efficient, cool-headed, quick-thinking machines, doing their best, of course, but differing from Sidney in that their service was of the mind, while hers was of the heart. To them, pain was a thing to be recorded on a report; to Sidney, it was written on the tablets of her soul.
Carlotta Harrison went on night duty at the same time--her last night service, as it was Sidney"s first. She accepted it stoically. She had charge of the three wards on the floor just below Sidney, and of the ward into which all emergency cases were taken. It was a difficult service, perhaps the most difficult in the house. Scarcely a night went by without its patrol or ambulance case. Ordinarily, the emergency ward had its own night nurse. But the house was full to overflowing. Belated vacations and illness had depleted the training-school. Carlotta, given double duty, merely shrugged her shoulders.
"I"ve always had things pretty hard here," she commented briefly.
"When I go out, I"ll either be competent enough to run a whole hospital singlehanded, or I"ll be carried out feet first."
Sidney was glad to have her so near. She knew her better than she knew the other nurses. Small emergencies were constantly arising and finding her at a loss. Once at least every night, Miss Harrison would hear a soft hiss from the back staircase that connected the two floors, and, going out, would see Sidney"s flushed face and slightly crooked cap bending over the stair-rail.
"I"m dreadfully sorry to bother you," she would say, "but So-and-So won"t have a fever bath"; or, "I"ve a woman here who refuses her medicine." Then would follow rapid questions and equally rapid answers.
Much as Carlotta disliked and feared the girl overhead, it never occurred to her to refuse her a.s.sistance. Perhaps the angels who keep the great record will put that to her credit.
Sidney saw her first death shortly after she went on night duty. It was the most terrible experience of all her life; and yet, as death goes, it was quiet enough. So gradual was it that Sidney, with K."s little watch in hand, was not sure exactly when it happened. The light was very dim behind the little screen. One moment the sheet was quivering slightly under the struggle for breath, the next it was still. That was all. But to the girl it was catastrophe. That life, so potential, so tremendous a thing, could end so ignominiously, that the long battle should terminate always in this capitulation--it seemed to her that she could not stand it. Added to all her other new problems of living was this one of dying.
She made mistakes, of course, which the kindly nurses forgot to report--basins left about, errors on her records. She rinsed her thermometer in hot water one night, and startled an interne by sending him word that Mary McGuire"s temperature was a hundred and ten degrees.
She let a delirious patient escape from the ward another night and go airily down the fire-escape before she discovered what had happened!
Then she distinguished herself by flying down the iron staircase and bringing the runaway back single-handed.
For Christine"s wedding the Street threw off its drab attire and a.s.sumed a wedding garment. In the beginning it was incredulous about some of the details.
"An awning from the house door to the curbstone, and a policeman!"
reported Mrs. Rosenfeld, who was finding steady employment at the Lorenz house. "And another awning at the church, with a red carpet!"
Mr. Rosenfeld had arrived home and was making up arrears of rest and recreation.
"Huh!" he said. "Suppose it don"t rain. What then?" His Jewish father spoke in him.
"And another policeman at the church!" said Mrs. Rosenfeld triumphantly.
"Why do they ask "em if they don"t trust "em?"
But the mention of the policemen had been unfortunate. It recalled to him many things that were better forgotten. He rose and scowled at his wife.
"You tell Johnny something for me," he snarled. "You tell him when he sees his father walking down street, and he sittin" up there alone on that automobile, I want him to stop and pick me up when I hail him. Me walking, while my son swells around in a car! And another thing." He turned savagely at the door. "You let me hear of him road-housin", and I"ll kill him!"
The wedding was to be at five o"clock. This, in itself, defied all traditions of the Street, which was either married in the very early morning at the Catholic church or at eight o"clock in the evening at the Presbyterian. There was something reckless about five o"clock. The Street felt the dash of it. It had a queer feeling that perhaps such a marriage was not quite legal.
The question of what to wear became, for the men, an earnest one. Dr. Ed resurrected an old black frock-coat and had a "V" of black cambric set in the vest. Mr. Jenkins, the grocer, rented a cutaway, and bought a new Panama to wear with it. The deaf-and-dumb book agent who boarded at McKees", and who, by reason of his affliction, was calmly ignorant of the excitement around him, wore a borrowed dress-suit, and considered himself to the end of his days the only properly attired man in the church.
The younger Wilson was to be one of the ushers. When the newspapers came out with the published list and this was discovered, as well as that Sidney was the maid of honor, there was a distinct quiver through the hospital training-school. A probationer was authorized to find out particulars. It was the day of the wedding then, and Sidney, who had not been to bed at all, was sitting in a sunny window in the Dormitory Annex, drying her hair.
The probationer was distinctly uneasy.
"I--I just wonder," she said, "if you would let some of the girls come in to see you when you"re dressed?"
"Why, of course I will."
"It"s awfully thrilling, isn"t it? And--isn"t Dr. Wilson going to be an usher?"
Sidney colored. "I believe so."
"Are you going to walk down the aisle with him?"
"I don"t know. They had a rehearsal last night, but of course I was not there. I--I think I walk alone."
The probationer had been instructed to find out other things; so she set to work with a fan at Sidney"s hair.
"You"ve known Dr. Wilson a long time, haven"t you?"