"Of course we need help," Linnea replied emptily, and then she looked past me at Baltsar. "Our worst fears have come true. They"re going to kill us all."
FORTY-FOUR.
defensive Marksinna Lisbet Ahlstromthe acting ruler of the Skojare and Linnea"s grandmotherstood with her back toward the meeting room as she stared out at the dark water that surrounded us. Her golden hair was up, and her sapphire chandelier earrings hung past the high collar of her jacket. Wavelike designs were embroidered in the cerulean fabric, and the hem of her jacket just hit the floor.
We were in the meeting room underwater, where half of the room stuck out from the palace with a domed wall of gla.s.s, creating a fishbowl effect. The last time I had been here, King Mikko had been arrested. And now we were discussing war.
Baltsar, Ridley, Konstantin, and I sat at the end of the very long table. Linnea had been too sh.e.l.l-shocked to be of much a.s.sistance, and Tilda had feigned needing help to keep her preoccupied. For the past hour we"d been in the meeting room, explaining to Lisbet and Baltsar everything we knew.
While we spoke, Lisbet had paced the room, listening to us tell them about Mina"s relation to Viktor, her involvement in Kennet"s scheme, and her plot to steal the jewels now that Kennet and Bayle were out of the picture.
When we"d finished, she stopped and stared out at the lake. Night had fallen upon us, making the water too dark to see anything, but Lisbet kept staring out, as if an answer to all their problems would come swimming up to the gla.s.s.
"After he was killed, I realized that Kennet had to be involved in Mikko"s imprisonment somehow," Lisbet said finally. "I wore black for three days until Kennet"s funeral, as is customary, but I haven"t worn it since. I mourned publicly because I had to, but I won"t shed a tear for anyone that tries to hurt my granddaughter."
Then she turned to face us. In her sixties, she"d begun to show the signs of her advancing years, but she still carried the grace and beauty of her youth. She commanded the room like a Queen, even though she"d never really been one.
"What would you have us do?" Lisbet asked. "How do we stop this?"
Konstantin sat with his elbows on the table and his hands together in front of his face, almost like he was praying except that his hands were clenched too tightly. "You can"t stop this. Once Mina has her mind set, there"s nothing you can do to talk her out of it."
"What if we offered her our jewels?" Lisbet suggested, almost pleading. "We have so many, we must be able to spare a great deal."
"She wants them all." Konstantin lowered his hands. "And even that won"t be enough. Since she"s had to wait for them, she"s annoyed. And she"ll want you to suffer for that."
Lisbet rubbed her temple. "Then what do we do?"
"I"ve been working as the overste for the Kanin," Ridley said. "And Tilda"s been acting captain. We can work with your soldiers and get them ready. We know exactly how the Kanin fight and what they"re skilled at."
Lisbet laughed darkly. "You say that as if we have soldiers."
"If Mina hasn"t declared war yet, that means you might have some time," I said. "Time to gather people and get them ready."
"Unless, of course, she"s planning a surprise attack," Konstantin corrected me, and I shot him a look. "Well, it"s true."
"You have one huge advantage, and that"s this palace." Ridley motioned around us. "It"s an island fortress."
"And we have the spires," Baltsar said, referring to the five towers that rose from the palace. "I"ve been doing bow training with the guards, so they can man them and shoot at possible intruders."
"It"s not a lost cause," Ridley said, trying to sound optimistic.
"There"s something else I think you should do," I said. "You should release Mikko."
"Talk to that one." Lisbet pointed at Baltsar. "I want to let him go. I"ve known he was innocent for a while, but it"s Baltsar and the Chancellor and some of the other royals that don"t want him out."
Baltsar shook his head. "It"s not that I don"t want him released. There"s not enough evidence to set him free. I was a Markis and I stepped downI gave up my t.i.tle and my inheritance because it was more important to me that Storvatten be kept safe. I took this job to make sure it was done right."
"You"re going to war. You need him," I persisted.
"I"m the acting monarch. I have all the same power he has," Lisbet said.
"But you"re not King," I told her emphatically. "Linnea may be Queen, but she"s not strong enough yet to lead anyone into war. Mikko has power and presence. And he has a brother he needs to avenge. If it wasn"t for Mina, I don"t think Kennet would"ve ever done any of this. Mikko needs to be on the forefront, fighting for your kingdom."
Lisbet seemed to consider this, then she looked past me to Baltsar. "Do it. Let him go."
"Marksinna!" Baltsar protested. "I"m trying to bring order to this kingdom."
"And there won"t be a kingdom to bring order to if we don"t do everything we need to do!" Lisbet shot back. "Let Mikko go. He needs to be the one to end this."
FORTY-FIVE.
valedictory May 25, 2014 Dear Bryn Everyone"s gone and left, and it"s lonely without you all. Not that I blame Tilda and Ridley for getting out of here, especially not after what happened to Ridley. But with all of you gone again, the isolation feels so much more intense.
Thankfully, Delilah is still here. (She has become my rock, my light, my only salvation in this claustrophobic cage. Last night, I snuck into her room, carefully and quietly so none of the guards keeping watch would catch me. We went under the covers in her bed, hiding away from everything around us, and by the dim glow of the flashlight, we read poems by Gustaf Froding, Karin Boye, and Par Lagerkvist, and her Swedish is so beautiful to hear. Forgive me if I"m a little verbose today.) I"m sorry for rambling on so much about Delilah. I could go on for pages and pages about the beauty of her eyes and the scent of her hair and the strength of her spirit and the warmth of her arms and the taste of her lips ... But I"m not writing you to go on about her forever (though I could). It"s just the only time I feel even close to free anymore is when I"m with her.
It is so contradictory that life can be the worst it"s ever been and the best it"s ever been all at once. It"s strange how love can blossom even in the darkest places.
And it certainly is dark here in Doldastam, and not just because you and Tilda are gone. I know I could"ve gone with Ridley the way Tilda did, and maybe I should"ve. My mom would"ve preferred it if I had.
Four years ago, we left Forening to escape all the turmoil there. We chose Doldastam because my mom"s sister lived here with her husband, and it seemed like a quiet, safe place to live. My mom is starting to believe that there isn"t a quiet, safe place in the entire troll kingdom, and at night, when she thinks I can"t hear, she whispers to my dad about fleeing to live among the humans.
I wonder how you"re finding Forening. It"s been so long since I"ve been there. Are you sleeping in my old room? Finn says he hasn"t repainted my room yet, so I hope you"re enjoying the blotchy clouds I painted years ago.
Maybe I should have left with Delilah, gone back to my old room, gotten away from here. I"d certainly love to see Finn and Mia and the kids. But I couldn"t go.
Not just because of Delilah, or even Linus Berling. I"ve been training with him as often as I can, and while he tries harder than anyone I"ve ever met, I still feel like he can"t protect himself. And I know there"s other people like him here.
For every Astrid Eckwell (who is a star pupil under the Queen"s new paranoia campaign), there is a Linus Berling. And for every townsperson that screams about stringing up traitors like you, there is a Juni Skold, disobeying the wishes of the town by still serving your parents in her bakery.(They have, unfortunately, been blacklisted from most of the shops here.) There are still good people here, and they need someone like me to help them when it comes time to fight. I don"t know when that will happen, but I feel it"s gotta happen soon. I don"t know how much more we can take of this.
Every day things get worse. Yesterday, Omte guards started appearing around town. You know how huge the Omte can getall of them are over six foot, some over seven, with big heads and muscles bulging out everywhere. Apparently, where they"re from is incredibly warm, and they"re having a hard time handling the cold, so they"re all bulked in winter jackets and hats and scarves even though it reached the forties.
Even with their ridiculous gear, it doesn"t make them any less intimidating. They stomp around the cobblestones like they own the d.a.m.n place. I"ve actually seen children cry at the sight of them.
Queen Mina held another meeting in the town square after they"d arrived. She stood on the balcony of the clock tower, still wearing all black, including this odd birdcage veil over her eyes. The Omte had arrived unannounced, and by the time she called the meeting, everyone was on edge and scared.
In her grandiose way, with lots of arm gestures and her fake British accent that annoys you so much, Mina explained that the Omte had come here to help protect us. We have so many enemies we needed a stronger guard.
(Though she didn"t specify who any of these enemies were, and she hasn"t mentioned the name Viktor Dlig in quite some timeapparently he"s no longer a threat? Just you and Konstantin Black. And now the Skojare, apparently, but I"m getting ahead of myself.) She a.s.sured everyone that the Omte are here for our protection. Your mom and dad were at the back of the crowd, and I saw the nervous glances they exchanged with each other. I wanted to look as uncomfortable as they did, but since I"m part of the army, I had to put on my best smile and pretend like I thought this was totally brilliant and not complete insanity.
When the King died, Mina wouldn"t even allow Kanins from other towns to come and mourn him. But now she"ll open the gates to complete strangers from another tribe, a tribe we"ve had very little contact with over the past century?
Obviously something bad is going on, but I haven"t been able to figure out what yet. It"s hard when there"s so few people I can talk to about this anymore. If I"m being honest, part of the reason I"m writing you this letter is just so I can sort it all out for myself. In your absence, you"ve become my sounding board.
After explaining the presence of the Omte, Queen Mina went on to announce that she discovered the culprit behind King Evert"s murderKennet Biaelse. When the crowd cheered, I actually cheered along with them, because I thought finally you"d be cleared.
But, no. She actually raised the accusations, claiming that you were a coconspirator with Kennet. You actually helped him with the poison or some nonsense like that.
Then she concluded that the Skojare could no longer be trusted. You"d betrayed us because of your Skojare blood, and all Skojare are inherently evil.
It was at that point that your parents quickly and quietly made their exit. Unfortunately, they don"t live that far from the town square, so I"m sure they could still hear all the vile things Mina was saying about the Skojare.
Later, after everything had died down, I brought a ca.s.serole over to them. My mom had made it for them with root vegetables, since she knows that the market has been refusing service to them. Your parents have mostly been subsisting on treats from Juni"s bakery and the kindness of strangers.
Your mom was in the bath when I arrived, and your dad answered the door. He says that your mom spends most of the time soaking now. His temples looked grayer than they were the last time I saw him, but otherwise he looked okay. He says he"s just been reading and trying to keep his head down.
They rarely leave the house, and they keep their thick drapes pulled at all hours since they caught some kids trying to peek in a few days ago.
When your mom came out of the bath, she hugged me and told me how happy she was to see me. I told them that you"re safe, hiding in Forening, and she started to cry. Your dad teared up too, and he spent the next five minutes thanking me for helping you. I don"t think I"ve ever seen two people look as relieved as they did then.
They"ll need to escape soon, but with the Omte guard around now, it will be even harder than before. Fortunately, the Queen doesn"t seem to have noticed that Tilda has escaped yet. Tilda"s parents are covering for her, saying she"s on bed rest with the baby, anytime anybody asks about her. I think her parents and I are the only ones that really know where she is.
As soon as I see a break in the defenses, I think I"ll get my parents and your parents out of here. It"s getting too dangerous. The Queen already turned on the Skojare. It won"t be much longer before she singles my family out for being Trylle. We"ve always had the advantage of blending in better than you and your mom did, but n.o.body really blends in in Doldastam anymore.
Everyone is suspect.
I shouldn"t even be writing these letters to you. If the wrong person reads this, I could end up in the dungeon, just for telling the truth about what"s going on around here. To be safe, I"m even writing this in the wee hours of the morning, before the sun comes up. But you can never be too safe in Doldastam anymore.
I think this will be the last letter I write you. I have too much to do here. I can"t risk getting caught over something silly like this. Besides, I"m not even sure if you"ll ever be able to read these.
Until I see you again Ember
FORTY-SIX.
torment The meeting with Lisbet, Baltsar, Konstantin, Ridley, and I had gone on rather late into the night, and I"d been very relieved when I was finally able to go to my room. I had fantasies about falling asleep the second my head hit the pillow.
But, even as exhausted as I was, sleep could be a cruel mistress, and it eluded me. I tossed and turned, and spent most of the night staring up at the water spot on the ceiling above my bed.
The grandeur of the exterior of the Skojare palace was misleading. Even though the guest rooms had an air of luxury to themfine linens, elegant furnishings, even the exterior gla.s.s wall that bowed out in the lakethe reality inside was quite different.
A bedroom underwater was cold and smelled musty. The wallpaper in the halls was peeling, the tiles were warped, and I spotted a tuft of mold growing in the corner.
The dark water of the lake kept out most of the sunlight during the day, but somehow, even with the waning moon in the night sky, it managed to create an odd glowing sensation in the room. Like being in an aquarium, with the shadows of the moving water dancing across the ceiling.
Eventually I decided that I couldn"t be the only one having trouble sleeping. I slid out of bed, and the tiles felt like ice on my bare feet.
Since I was still traveling with my thrift shop clothing, I didn"t have much in the way of pajamas. I"d gone to bed in an oversized T-shirt with a kraken attacking a ship on it. The neck hole had been stretched out, so it kept slipping off my shoulder, exposing more of my skin to the cold.
I stuck my head out into the hall, and when I saw no guards in the vicinity, I crept out. Tilda"s room was directly on the other side of mine, but I figured that between the pregnancy and brutally attacking a guy today, she probably needed her rest.
Instead, I made a beeline for Ridley"s room farther down the hall. We"d hardly had a moment alone together since he"d arrived in Forening, and we needed to talk. There was something strange going on with him, and I had to find out what it was.
Slowly, I opened the door and peered around it. Ridley"s room was a mirror image of mine, with the gla.s.s wall casting that bluish glow through it. Even though it was dim, I could easily see that the bed was messy, like it had been slept in, but it was empty.
I stepped farther into the room, scanning for Ridley, when suddenly someone grabbed me and threw me roughly against the wall, slamming my back into it. Within a second of me entering his room, Ridley had jumped out from behind the door, thrown me into the wall, and pinned me there with his body and his hand around my throat.
"Dammit, Bryn," he whispered when he realized it was me, and let go. "You scared the h.e.l.l out of me."
"You"re the one that attacked me," I said in a hushed voice.
"Sorry." He stepped back from me. "I heard someone sneaking around outside, and I thought it might be one of Viktor"s men tracking me or something. I"m just jumpy."
"Viktor"s men usually sneak into your room wearing oversized T-shirts?" I asked, attempting to lighten the mood.
"I don"t know how they"ll come for me." Ridley"s voice was low and somber, and his expression was a dark mask, hiding his normally handsome, playful face.
He stood shirtless across from me, wearing loose black pajama pants. They hung low on his waist, revealing the sharp ridges of muscles just above his hips and a thin trail of hair that started just above his pelvis and ran downward.
Part of me was aware of how s.e.xy Ridley looked and how badly I wanted to pull him close to me. But the other part was all too aware of the gulf between us, and how it only seemed to grow wider and darker with each pa.s.sing moment.
I rubbed my neck where he"d grabbed me and looked away from him.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked and moved closer to me. His hand was on my wrist, angling my arm back so he could get a better look at my throat. And his face tilted down, so close to mine, as he studied me.
I watched himthe way his hair fell over his forehead, his heavy lashes, his wonderful lips, the stubble on his cheekas he touched me gingerly, and all I wanted was to be with him. To kiss him and feel him close to me again.
Instead, I whispered, "I"m fine."
He lifted his eyes to meet mine. "You sure?"
I nodded, and that was when I realized his neck had fully healed. The skin had been torn raw by the chain, and he"d been left with awful, thick bruises. But now it all looked normal.
"Your neck is better," I said in surprise.
"Lisbet had a healer fix it up. She wants me in top condition for the impending war."
He hadn"t moved back from me, and his hand lingered on my wrist. His fingers were strong and warm on my skin, and I loved the way it felt when he touched me.
A heat burned in the pit of my stomach, a longing so intense it made my heart ache. Being so close to him, being able to touch him, but not really, not really hold him close to me, was killing me.
I looked down, really looking at him up close for the first time, and I noticed ridges on his chest and arms. They were perfectly straight raised b.u.mps, half an inch thick and several inches long.