"You see if a man"s digestion is good he takes a cheerful view of things; but if he is full of bile, then he is sure that everybody is going to be lost except himself and his little set, and that"s heresy.
Apologetics is just dietetics; now there "s an epigram made for you on the spot, and you don"t know what it means, so we "ll have a walk instead."
His aunt knew what was coming, but was too late to resist, so she was twice taken round the room for exercise, till she cried out for mercy, and was left to rest while Carmichael went out to get an appet.i.te for that dinner.
Nothing was said during its progress, but when Sarah had finally departed after her first triumph, won under every adverse circ.u.mstance of strangeness and limited resources, Carmichael took his aunt"s hand and kissed it.
"It is an illuminated address you deserve, auntie, for such a paragon; as it is, I shall be the benefactor of a Presbytery, asking the men up by turns on fast-days, and sending them home speechless with satisfaction."
"Sarah was always a clever woman; if she had only--" But Carmichael heard not, in his boyish excitement of householding.
"Clever is a cold word for such genius. Mark my words, there is not a manse in Perthshire that shall not sound with the praise of Sarah. I vow perpetual celibacy on the spot. No man would dream of marrying that had the privilege of such a housekeeper."
"Ye "re a silly laddie, John; but some day a fair face will change a"
yer life, an" if she be a good wumman like your mother, I "ll thank G.o.d."
"No woman can be compared with her," and the minister sobered. "You and she have spoiled me for other women, and now you have placed me beyond temptation with such a cook."
So it came to pa.s.s that Carmichael, who knew nothing about fine cooking till Sarah formed his palate with her cunning sauces, and, after all, cared as little what he ate as any other healthy young man, boasted of his housekeeper continually by skilful allusions, till the honest wives of his fathers and brethren were outraged and grew feline, as any natural woman will if a servant is flung in her face in this aggravating fashion.
"I "m glad to hear you "re so well pleased, Mr. Carmichael," Mrs.
MacGuffie would say, who was full of advice, and fed visitors on the produce of her garden, "but no man knows comfort till he marries. It"s a chop one day and a steak the next all the year round--nothing tasty or appetising; and as for his shirts, most bachelors have to sew on their own b.u.t.tons. Ah, you all pretend to be comfortable, but I know better, for Mr. MacGuffie has often told me what he suffered."
Whereat Carmichael would rage furiously, and then, catching sight of MacGuffie, would bethink him of a Christian revenge. MacGuffie was invited up to a day of humiliation--Sarah receiving for once _carte blanche_--and after he had powerfully exhorted the people from the words, "I am become like a bottle in the smoke," he was conducted to the manse in an appropriately mournful condition, and set down at the table. He was inclined to dwell on the decadence of Disruption principles during soup, but as the dinner advanced grew wonderfully cheerful, and being installed in an arm-chair with a cup of decent coffee beside him, sighed peacefully, and said, "Mr. Carmichael, you have much cause for thankfulness." Mr. MacGuffie had not come to the age of sixty, however, without learning something, and he only gave his curious spouse to understand that Carmichael had done all in his power to make his guest comfortable, and was not responsible for his servant"s defects.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "Mr. Carmichael, you have much cause for thankfulness."]
Ladies coming with their husbands to visit the manse, conceived a prejudice against Sarah on the general ground of dislike to all housekeepers as a cla.s.s of servants outside of any mistress"s control, and therefore apt to give themselves airs, and especially because this one had a subtle suggestion of independent personality that was all the more irritating because it could not be made plain to the dull male intelligence, which was sadly deceived.
"What a lucky man Carmichael is on his first venture!" Even Dr.
Dowbiggin, of St. Columba"s, Muirtown, grew enthusiastic to his wife in the privacy of their bedchamber on a sacramental visit, and every one knows that the Doctor was a responsible man, ministering to four bailies and making "overtures" to the a.s.sembly, beginning with "Whereas" and ending with "Venerable House." "I am extremely pleased to see . . . everything so nice."
"You mean, James, that you have had a good dinner, far too ambitious for a young minister"s table. Did you ever see an entree on a Disruption table, or dessert with finger gla.s.ses? I call it sinful--for the minister of Drumtochty, at least; and I don"t believe he was ever accustomed to such ways. If she attended to his clothes, it would set her better than cooking French dishes. Did you notice the coat he was wearing at the station?--just like a gamekeeper. But it is easy for a woman to satisfy a man; give him something nice to eat, and he "ll ask no more."
"So far as my recollection serves me, Maria"--the Doctor was ruffled, and fell into his public style--"I made no reference to food, cooked or uncooked, and perhaps I may be allowed to say that it is not a subject one thinks of . . . at such seasons. What gave me much satisfaction was to see one of our manses so presentable; as regards the housekeeper, so far as I had an opportunity of observing, she seemed a very capable woman indeed," and the Doctor gave one of his coughs, which were found most conclusive in debate.
"It"s easy to be a man"s servant," retorted Mrs. Dowbiggin, removing a vase of flowers from the dressing-table with contempt, "for they never look below the surface. Did you notice her hands, as white and smooth as a lady"s? You may be sure there "s little scrubbing and brushing goes on in this manse."
"How do you know, Maria?"--the Doctor was weakening. "You have never been in the house before."
"We "ll soon see that, James, though I dare say it would never occur to a man to do such a thing. Did you ever look below the bed?"
"Never," replied the Doctor, promptly, who was not constructed to stoop, "and I am not going to begin after that . . . ah . . . this evening, with work before me to-morrow. But I would be glad to see you."
"I have done so every night of my life for fear of robbers, and the dust I "ve seen in strange houses--it"s there you can tell a good servant," and Mrs. Dowbiggin nodded with an air of great sagacity.
"Well," demanded the Doctor, anxiously watching the operation, "guilty or not guilty?"
"She knew what I would do. I hate those sharp women," and then the Doctor grew so eloquent over uncharitable judgments and unreasonable prejudices that his wife denounced Sarah bitterly as a "cunning woman who got on the blind side of gentlemen."
Her popularity with Carmichael"s friends was beyond question, for though she was a reserved woman, with no voluntary conversation, they all sent messages to her, inquired for her well-being at Fast-days, and brought her gifts of handkerchiefs, gloves, and such like. When they met at Theologicals and Synods they used to talk of Sarah with unction--till married men were green with envy--being simple fellows and helpless in the hands of elderly females of the Meiklewham genus.
For there are various arts by which a woman, in Sarah"s place, wins a man"s grat.i.tude, and it may be admitted that one is skilful cooking.
Sensible and book-reading men do not hunger for six courses, but they are critical about their toast and . . . nothing more, for that is the pulse. Then a man also hates to have any fixed hour for breakfast--never thinking of houses where they have prayers at 7.50 without a shudder--but a man refuses to be kept waiting five minutes for dinner. If a woman will find his belongings, which he has scattered over three rooms and the hall, he invests her with many virtues, and if she packs his portmanteau, he will a.s.sociate her with St. Theresa. But if his hostess be inclined to discuss problems with him, he will receive her name with marked coldness; and if she follow up this trial with evil food, he will conceive a rooted dislike for her, and will flee her house. So simple is a man.
When Sarah proposed to Carmichael that she should prepare breakfast after he rung for his hot water, and when he never caught a hint of reproach on her face though he sat up till three and came down at eleven, he was lifted, hardly believing that such humanity could be found among women, who always seem to have a time table they are carrying out the livelong day.
"The millennium is near at hand," said MacQueen, when the morning arrangements of the Free Kirk manse of Drumtochty were made known to him--MacQueen, who used to arrive without so much as a nightshirt, having left a trail of luggage behind him at various junctions, and has written books so learned that no one dares to say that he has not read them. Then he placed an ounce of s.h.a.g handy, and Carmichael stoked the fire, and they sat down, with Beaton, who could refer to the Summa of St. Thomas Aquinas from beginning to end, and they discussed the Doctrine of Scripture in the Fathers, and the formation of the Canon, and the authorship of the Pentateuch till two in the study. Afterwards they went to MacQueen"s room to hear him on the Talmud, and next adjourned to Beaton"s room, who offered a series of twelve preliminary observations on the Theology of Rupert of Deutz, whereupon his host promptly put out his candle, leaving that man of supernatural memory to go to bed in the dark; and as Carmichael pulled up the blind in his own room, the day was breaking and a blackbird had begun to sing. Next afternoon Beaton had resumed his observations on Rupert, but now they were lying among the heather on the side of Glen Urtach, and Carmichael was asleep, while MacQueen was thinking that they would have a good appet.i.te for dinner that evening.
Sarah had only one fault to find with her master, and that was his Bohemian dress; but since it pleased him to go one b.u.t.ton less through studied carelessness, she let him have his way; and as for everything else, she kept her word to his aunt, and saw that he wanted for nothing, serving him with perpetual thoughtfulness and swift capacity.
Little pa.s.sed between them except a good-natured word or two from him and her courteous answer, but she could read him as a book, and when he came home that day from Muirtown she saw he was changed. He was slightly flushed, and he could not sit still, wandering in and out his study till dinner-time. He allowed the soup to cool, and when she came in with sweets he had barely touched his cutlet.
"It is the sauce you like, sir," with some reproach in her voice.
"So it is, Sarah--and first rate." Then he added suddenly, "Can you put a b.u.t.ton on this coat to-night, and give it a good brush?"
In the evening Sarah went down to post a letter, and heard the talk, how Miss Carnegie had come home with the General, and was worthy of her house; how the minister also had driven up with her from Muirtown; and on her return she did her best by the coat, handling it very kindly, and singing softly to herself "Robin Adair."
Next morning he came down in his blacks--the worst-made suit ever seen on a man, ordered to help a village tailor at his home--and announced his intention of starting after lunch for Saunderson"s manse, beyond Tochty woods, where he would stay all night.
"He will call on the way down, and, if he can, coming back," Sarah said to herself, as she watched him go, "but it"s a pity he should go in such a coat; it might have been put together with a pitchfork. It only makes the difference greater, and "t is wider than he knows already.
And yet a woman can marry beneath her without loss; but for a man it is ruin."
She went up to his room and made it neat, which was ever in disorder on his leaving, and then she went to a western window and looked into the far distance.
CHAPTER VIII.
A WOMAN OF THE OLD DISPENSATION.
Every Sabbath at eleven o"clock, or as soon thereafter as the people were seated--consideration was always shown to distant figures coming down from the high glen--Carmichael held what might be called High Ma.s.s in the Free Kirk. Nothing was used in praise but the Psalms of David, with an occasional Paraphrase sanctioned by usage and sound teaching.
The prayers were expected to be elaborate in expression and careful in statement, and it was then that they prayed for the Queen and Houses of Parliament. And the sermon was the event to which the efforts of the minister and the thoughts of the people had been moving for the whole week. No person was absent except through sore sickness or urgent farm duty; nor did rain or snow reduce the congregation by more than ten people, very old or very young. Carmichael is now minister of a West End kirk, and, it is freely rumoured in Drumtochty, has preached before Lords of Session; but he has never been more nervous than facing that handful of quiet, impenetrable, critical faces in his first kirk. When the service was over, the people broke into little bands that disappeared along the west road, and over the moor, and across the Tochty. Carmichael knew each one was reviewing his sermon head by head, and, pacing his garden, he remembered the missing points with dismay.
It was the custom of the Free Kirk minister to go far afield of a summer evening, and to hold informal services in distant parts of the parish. This was the joy of the day to him, who was really very young and hated all conventionalities even unto affectation. He was never weary of complaining that he had to wear a gown, which was continually falling back and being hitched over with impatient motions, and the bands, which he could never tie, and were, he explained to a horrified beadle in Muirtown, an invention of Satan to disturb the preacher"s soul before his work. Once, indeed, he dared to appear without his trappings, on the plea of heat, but the visible dismay and sorrow of the people was so great--some failing to find the Psalm till the first verse had been sung--that he perspired freely and forgot the middle head of his discourse.
"It"s a mercy," remarked Mrs. Macfadyen to Burnbrae afterward, "that he didna play that trick when there wes a bairn tae be baptised. It wudna hae been lichtsome for its fouk; a"body wants a properly ordained minister. Ye "ll gie him a hint, Burnbrae, for he"s young and fordersome (rash), but gude stuff for a" his pliskies (frolics)."
No one would have liked to see the sacred robes in the places of evening worship, and Carmichael threw all forms to the winds--only drawing the line, with great regret and some searchings of heart, at his tweed jacket. His address for these summer evening gatherings he studied as he went through the fragrant pine woods or over the moor by springy paths that twisted through the heather, or along near cuts that meant leaping little burns and climbing d.y.k.es whose top stones were apt to follow your heels with embarra.s.sing attachment. Here and there the minister would stop as a trout leapt in a pool, or a flock of wild duck crossed the sky to Loch Sheuchie, or the cattle thrust inquisitive noses through some hedge, as a student s.n.a.t.c.hes a mouthful from some book in pa.s.sing. For these walks were his best study; when thinking of his people in their goodness and simplicity, and touched by nature at her gentlest, he was freed from many vain ideas of the schools and from artificial learning, and heard the Galilean speak as He used to do among the fields of corn. He came on people going in the same direction, but they only saluted, refraining even from the weather, since the minister"s thoughts must not be disturbed, and they were amazed to notice, that he stooped to pluck a violet in the wood. His host would come a little way to meet him and explain the arrangements that had been made for a kirk. Sometimes the meeting-place was the granary of the farm, with floor swept clean and the wooden shutters opened for light, where the minister preached against a mixed background of fanners, corn measures, piles of sacks, and spare implements of the finer sort; and the congregation, who had come up a ladder cautiously like hens going to roost--being severally warned about the second highest step--sat on bags stuffed with straw, boards resting on upturned pails, while a few older folk were accommodated with chairs, and some youngsters disdained not the floor. It was pleasanter in the barn, a cool, lofty, not unimpressive place of worship, with its ma.s.s of golden straw and its open door through which various kindly sounds of farm life came in and strange visitors entered. The collies, most sociable of animals, would saunter in and make friendly advances to Carmichael reading a chapter; then, catching their master"s eye and detecting no encouragement, would suddenly realise that they were at kirk, and compose themselves to sleep--"juist like ony Christian," as Hillocks once remarked with envy, his own plank allowing no liberties--and never taking any part except in a hymn like
"See the mighty host advancing, Satan leading on,"
which they regarded as recreation rather than worship.
It was also recalled for years that a pet lamb came into Donald Menzies"s barn and wandered about for a while, and Carmichael told that pretty legend of St. Francis, how he saw a white lamb among the kids, and burst into tears at the sight, because it reminded him of Jesus among the sinners. Indeed, these services were very extemporaneous, with hymns instead of psalms, and sermons without divisions.
Carmichael also allowed himself ill.u.s.trations from the life around, and even an anecdote at a time, which was all the more keenly relished that it would have been considered a confession of weakness in a regular sermon. He has been heard to say that he came nearer the heart of things once or twice in the barns than he has ever done since, not even excepting that famous course of sermons every one talked about last year, the "a.n.a.lysis of Doubt," which almost converted two professors to Christianity, and were heard by the editor of the _Caledonian_ in the disguise of a street preacher. It was also pleasantly remembered for long in the parish that Dr. Davidson appeared one evening in Donald Menzies"s barn and joined affably in the "Sweet By-and-Bye."
Afterward, being supplied with a large arm-chair, he heard the address with much attention--nodding approval four times, if not five--and p.r.o.nouncing the benediction with such impressiveness that Donald felt some hesitation in thrashing his last stack in the place next day. The Doctor followed up this visit with an exhortation from the pulpit on the following Sabbath, in which he carefully distinguished such services by an ordained minister, although held in a barn, from unlicensed Plymouthistic gatherings held in corn rooms--this at Milton"s amateur efforts--and advised his people in each district to avail themselves of "my friend Mr. Carmichael"s excellent ministrations," which Papal Bull, being distributed to the furthest corner of the parish before nightfall, greatly lifted the Free Kirk and sweetened the blood of the Glen for years. It seemed to me, watching things in Drumtochty during those days with an impartial mind, that the Doctor, with his care for the poor, his sympathy for the oppressed, his interest in everything human, his shrewd practical wisdom, and his wide toleration, was the very ideal of the parish clergyman. He showed me much courtesy while I lived in the Cottage, although I did not belong to his communion, and as my imagination reconstructs the old parish of a winter night by the fire, I miss him as he used to be on the road, in the people"s homes, in his pulpit, among his books--ever an honourable and kind-hearted gentleman.