I know, I"ve worked with people like that; and I say without any modesty, I"ve worked with the best. And although these people may have been significantly better musicians, musicians, none of them came close to Matthew in his ability as a leader of men and women. none of them came close to Matthew in his ability as a leader of men and women.
The more I played with him, the better friends we became. And the more I began to have an inkling of what his congregation must feel each Sunday as he preached from the pulpit. When Matthew lifted the band in music, he was lifting us closer to his G.o.d.
It was this insight that threw his emerging mysterious side into harsh relief.
I remember one particularly cold Tuesday night in February. The usual crowd had made it to the Fleece through the snowstorm, and there was an atmosphere around the table of bonhomie that often unites people against the elements.
Matt, oddly, was quiet that night. He was not at all unfriendly, heaven forbid. (Heaven forbid? Listen to me! That"s Matt"s influence.) He didn"t have an unfriendly bone in his body, but he was distant, as if preoccupied with his own thoughts. He was certainly not his usual gregarious self.
When it was his round, he took people"s orders and moved to the bar. I gave it a couple of minutes and went to help him with the drinks. While we were alone at the bar, I said, "Is everything okay, Matt? You"re quiet."
He smiled. "It"s that obvious?"
"You"re usually the life of the party."
He looked at me, biting his lip. "Well, to tell the truth, I think I"m being followed," he said, and then returned to the table bearing three pints.
I stared after him, then resumed my seat.
Later that night, more to draw Matt into the conversation, I asked him, "How"s the congregation looking these days?"
Most of Matthew"s flock were implanted, which I found bizarre. They seemed to see no contradiction in worshipping at St. Luke"s and throwing in their lot with the Kethani: hedging one"s bets, I think it"s called.
Matthew waggled a palm above the table.
"We stay the same. We stay the same. But, the important thing is, we"re no longer falling in numbers." He looked around the table. "I tell you, the turn around is beginning. The Kethani offer compa.s.sion, but it"s a cold and mechanistic thing. n.o.body who has not been reborn really understands it. We view the returnees from the home planet with suspicion."
I exchanged a smile with Khalid.
"n.o.body who has not been reborn?" I said. "You"re mangling the English language, Matthew. Besides, aren"t you paraphrasing a line from the Bible?"
He nodded. "Well done. Still, the Kethani gift has fallen too easily to us. Anything that is worth having has to be worked for."
"Many would disagree, Matthew," Khalid said. I nodded, feeling mellow, halfway through my second pint in the warm bar. Through the leaded window, the sight of the snow sifting down only added to my sense of wellbeing.
"Many would, indeed," Matt said. "But I wonder if they still feel that truth in their hearts? People used to toil in the fields to stay alive. Now their daily bread is handed to them on a plate," he smiled, "quite literally! And so they grow fat. Some exercise to burn that off, but others look for the quick fix: liposuction to suck the fat from their bodies and low calorie meals so they can commit their acts of gluttony and not feel the consequences."
He nodded his head slowly. "Now, as we seek to expand our sugar-free life, where we taste the pleasures and forgo the pain, we are told that we can be resurrected without any sacrifice on our own part."
I laughed. I knew Matthew that well by then, I knew when I could speak without causing offence. "There"s a strong puritan streak runs through you, Father Renbourn. Are you saying that man must sacrifice his pleasure in this life to achieve happiness in the next?"
He laughed loudly at that and shifted in his chair in an exaggerated fashion.
"This horsehair underwear p.r.i.c.kles the backside," he said, and laughed again. He took another drink and then settled back with a reflective smile.
"Ah, you have a point, Andy. You have a point."
Khalid bought a round.
"But don"t underestimate the human need for balance," Matt went on, smiling his thanks at Khalid. "The conscious mind goes for the quick fix, but the subconscious knows that everything has a price."
He held up his pint. "I was talking about diet. We now face the prospect of eternal life, but still the need for healthy eating exists in our society. The doctors say a little alcohol is good for the body, but how many heed the call and drink a gla.s.s of good red wine each day? The Hollywood stars that act as our new messiahs preach self-denial: they prefer the truth of lettuce and low sodium diets to the gospel of Timothy Taylor."
He folded his hands as in prayer and looked to the ceiling and I started to laugh. Despite the relatively small quant.i.ties consumed, I think we were both farther along the road to drunkenness than we suspected.
"Maybe you have something there," I said. "I feel guilty if I don"t devote at least an hour a day to practice." I patted my battered cornet case, tucked safely on the seat next to me. "It"s not just that my embouchure suffers."
"Puritanism is hardwired into the brain," said Matthew. "Resurrection is not enough. Don"t underestimate the Church"s ability to adapt and absorb, Andy. We took the winter festivals and made them Christmas, we brought the marriage vows from the doorstep to the altar, we took the rite of the funeral pyre and made it into cremation."
Khalid looked up from his pint and winked at me. "So how are you going to make the Kethani your own, Matt?" he asked.
"The Kethani are but tools to achieve G.o.d"s purpose," Matthew said. "As are we all."
I was stunned.
"Surely that"s not the papal line?" I said.
Matthew smiled. "Not yet," he said.
Last orders were called, and conversation turned to a different topic.
The following evening I tramped through the snow to the draughty village hall. My way was lighted, once, by the shaft of light from the Onward Station as it beamed the remains of that day"s dead to the orbiting starship.
I had intended to have a word with Matt about what he"d told me at the bar the night before, that he thought he was being followed. That had to wait: as I arrived he was mediating a dispute between the band and Katherine Emmett. Davey, her mentally handicapped son, wanted to play the triangle in the orchestra, but the rest of the band was not happy about this. Naturally, all sorts of reasons were being given, except for the real one: we don"t want the dummy in the band.
"He keeps putting me off," said Kelly Wrigley, resting her flute on her knees.
"He hits it too hard, especially in the pianissimo sections."
"He doesn"t always keep time," said Graham Leicester.
A lesser man would have pointed out that Graham didn"t always keep time either. But not Matthew. He gazed mildly at Graham and the noise of the complaints just drained away. When he was sure he had everyone"s attention, he spoke quietly.
"Graham, why are you in this band?"
Graham looked confused.
"To help raise money for the restoration fund."
"Why else?"
A pause.
"I enjoy playing," he said eventually. He was blushing.
Matthew stared at the band, the uncomfortable silence lengthening.
"Why are you here, then, Matthew?" asked Graham, gaining courage.
"For the same reasons as you, Graham, but I also play to the glory of G.o.d." This reminded me of something Matt had once told me after a few pints: "You know Andy, Benjamin Britten said of J.S. Bach that to truly understand his music one must realise that it was all written to the glory of G.o.d."
Now Graham gave a clever smile. "Shouldn"t the music sound good then, if it"s to the glory of G.o.d?"
Some of the other band members nodded their heads. Graham had scored a point.
"Of course," said Matthew, and something in his tone meant that the nodding suddenly ceased. He spoke in his softest voice. "But even without Davey, will the music we make be perfect?"
Graham dropped his eyes and shook his head.
"Then let him play."
The music resumed. Davey, thirty years old and like his mother not implanted, sat on a plastic chair at the back of the hall, enthusiastically, if ineptly, bashing away at big steel triangle.
Oh, and just in case I am giving the impression that Matthew is some sort of saint, let me point out that I saw him wince, just as painfully as the rest of us, every time Davey tapped off the beat.
By nine o"clock, the time we usually packed up, Matt was on a roll.
"That was good. That was very good..." He looked around us all. "But it could be better! Guitars, we need more energy. Stab out the chords. Keep them short! Dit! Dit Dit! Not der-der-der."
It was a piece without piano accompaniment, and I sat out, leafing through the local paper and looking forward to a pint at the Fleece after the rehearsal.
The orchestra started up, and seconds later the music stuttered into silence as first one instrument and then another gave up the ghost.
I looked up. Matt seemed frozen, the pencil he was using as a baton poised in the air. He was staring over the heads of the orchestra towards the door to the kitchen and toilets. He looked shocked, shaken, and I turned in my seat to see what he was staring at.
"Andy," he said, "would you mind terribly if I handed you the reins for a minute?" And so saying he dropped the pencil in my lap and hurried over to the door. He peered within, circ.u.mspectly, then stepped through.
I took my place before the bemused villagers. "Okay," I said. "Bar forty-six, I"ll count three in..."
They played, and seconds later Matt reappeared. He entered the hall and looked around, then strode past us and moved to the front door. He was gone for about five minutes. I wondered if he"d seen an intruder and was about to call a halt and see if he needed a.s.sistance when he hurried back into the hall, thanked me and took up the baton. His hand, as I pa.s.sed it to him, was shaking.
Ten minutes later he brought the rehearsal to a close.
I packed up, then caught Matt"s eye while he was in conversation with Mrs. Emmett. He seemed distracted, not himself, and he kept darting glances towards the kitchen door. I mimed downing a pint, and received his affirmative nod. While the others were packing up, I left the hall and hurried through the village, more than a little perplexed at Matthew"s odd behaviour.
The Fleece was a haven of warmth and inviting firelight.
Of the usual Tuesday night crowd, only Khalid and Doug Standish were present. Doug was a big, almost stereotypically burly, gruff police type, whose initial morose manner had mellowed, as we"d come to know him, to reveal a sensitive character with a dry sense of humour.
I secured a pint of Landlord and joined them by the fire.
A minute later the door blew open admitting a cascade of confetti-like snow and the red-faced figure of Father Matthew Renbourn.
Khalid waved him over. "Ah, "tis the Father, bejesus, and you"ll be having yourself a pint of the usual, I"ll be bound?" This hardly raised a smile from Matt.
Khalid went on, serious now, "Are you okay?"
Matt sat down before the fire. I gestured to Sam at the bar to pull Matt a pint.
"What is it?" I asked.
Matt looked from Doug to Khalid, and then at me. "You know I mentioned yesterday that I thought I was being followed?"
I nodded, guessing what was coming.
"Followed?" Doug said, his professional interest aroused.
"For about a month or so now," Matt said, ""I"ve been seeing... well, I don"t know if you"ll understand..."
"Try us," Khalid said.
"Well, I"ve been seeing bright, white figures lurking at the edge of my vision, which mysteriously disappear when I try to look closer..."
I said, "And you saw another figure tonight, right?"
Matt took a long draught of creamy ale and nodded. He explained to Khalid and Doug, "In the hall, towards the end of the rehearsal. I saw something... a figure... near the door to the kitchen and cloakroom, but when I went to have a look... Nothing. It"d vanished."
Doug said, "Tell us more about these figures."
"There isn"t much more to tell," Matt said. "I"ve seen about half a dozen of them now, approximately once a week. Tall, glowing figures, watching me-or that"s what I feel they"re doing. And when I investigate, they"re gone in a flash of light."
Something about the expression on Doug"s big, jowly face prompted me to ask, "What?"
"It"s strange," he said, staring into the remains of his pint with a distant expression, "but remember the murder of Sarah Roberts a few years ago?"
Khalid said, "Wasn"t she something to do with the Onward Station?"
Doug nodded. "A liaison officer. Anyway, I investigated the case. Very mysterious." He gave a gruff laugh. "Like something out of an Agatha Christie novel. Roberts was found dead in a house surrounded by snow-no footprints leading to or from the place. Also," he looked up at me, "Ben Knightly reported seeing a great beam of light, almost like a meteorite"s tail, fall into the valley where the farmhouse was, on the night she was killed."
Matt stared at him. "And? Was the case ever solved?"
"It"s odd, but I always thought there was something strange about the affair. As if certain aspects of it were hushed up. Oh, officially it was explained explained-we found that the killer had probably stowed himself in the house before the snow fell, and then escaped later when the snow on the path to the house had been thoroughly churned. But it was never solved. The killer was never found. And do you know something, I"ve always had a strange feeling about that case-as if there was more involved than met the eye."
"Like what?" Khalid wanted to know.
"Well, I heard rumours much later that Sarah Roberts wasn"t human at all, but a Kethani emissary, keeping an eye on things on Earth."
"But why would anyone want her dead?" I asked, amazed.
Doug shrugged his big, bison-like shoulders. "I honestly don"t know. It"s almost as if, when I think about it, I"m prevented from recollecting the events with any clarity."
Khalid hummed the signature tune from an old sci-fi TV show. "Creepy. And you think that Matt"s mysterious figure and white light might be linked?"
Doug looked at the priest. "Do you have you any idea what they might be, Matt? Any theories?"