His companion let go of the chair, which she had been holding in place, and stepped back.
"I"m a single woman?" she repeated sharply. "What do you mean by that?
Did--did anybody say I wasn"t?"
"No, no! "Course not. But you"re a widow, so you BE single, you know, and--"
"Well? Did you think I was twins? Get down off there this minute. You"ve gone crazy. I thought so when I saw that beaver. Either that or you"ve been drinkin". Grace! What DOES make her so long gettin" that hammer?"
Finding the hammer did seem to take a long time. There was no sound from the kitchen. Kyan, steadying himself with one hand on the pipe, waved the other wildly.
"S-s-sh! s-sh-h!" he hissed. "Hush! be still! Don"t get her in here.
Keziah, you"re single and so am I. You ain"t got n.o.body to take care of you and I ain"t, neither--that is, I don"t want to be took care of--I mean, I"ve been took care of too much."
Mrs. Coffin took another step in the direction of the kitchen.
"He IS loony!" she exclaimed under her breath. "I--"
"No, no! I ain"t loony. I want to make a proposal to you. I want to see if you won"t marry me. I"m sick of Laviny. Let"s you and me settle down together. I could have some peace then. And I think a whole lot of you, too," he added, apparently as an afterthought.
Keziah"s face was red now, and growing redder every instant.
"Kyan Pepper!" she cried in amazed incredulity. "Kyan Pepper, do you--"
"Hurry up!" pleaded Abishai, in agitated impatience. "Say yes quick.
She"ll be back in a minute."
"Say YES! Why, you--"
"Don"t stop to argue, Keziah. I"ve got "most fifteen hundred dollars in the bank. Laviny keeps the pa.s.s book in her bureau, but you could get it from her. I own my house. I"m a man of good character. You"re poor, but I don"t let that stand in the way. Anyhow, you"re a first-rate housekeeper. And I really do think an awful lot of you."
Mrs. Coffin stepped no farther in the direction of the kitchen. Instead, she strode toward the rickety chair and its occupant. Kyan grasped the pipe with both hands.
"You poor--miserable--impudent--" began the lady.
"Why, Keziah, don"t you WANT to?" He spoke as if the possibility of a refusal had never entered his mind. "I cal"lated you"d be glad.
You wouldn"t have to go away then, nor--My soul and body! some one"s knockin" at the door! AND THIS DUMMED PIPE"S FETCHED LOOSE!"
The last sentence was a smothered shriek. Keziah heeded not. Neither did she heed the knock at the door. Her hands were opening and closing convulsively.
"Be glad!" she repeated. "Glad to marry a good-for-nothin" sand-peep like you! You sa.s.sy--GET down off that chair and out of this house! Get down this minute!"
"I can"t! This stovepipe"s loose, I tell you! Be reason"ble, Keziah.
Do--don"t you touch me! I"ll fall if you do. Pl-e-ase, Keziah!--O Lordy!
I knew it. LAVINY!"
The door opened. On the threshold, arms akimbo and lips set tight, stood Lavinia Pepper. Her brother"s knees gave way; in their collapse they struck the chair back; the rickety leg wabbled. Kyan grasped at the pipe to save himself and, the next moment, chair, sections of stovepipe, and Mr. Pepper disappeared with a mighty crash behind the high-boy. A cloud of soot arose and obscured the view.
Keziah, too indignant even to laugh, glared at the wreck. In the doorway of the kitchen Grace Van Horne, hammer in hand, leaned against the jamb, her handkerchief at her mouth and tears in her eyes. Lavinia, majestic and rigid, dominated the scene. From behind the high-boy came coughs, sneezes, and emphatic e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.ns.
Miss Pepper was the first to speak.
"Abishai Pepper," she commanded, "come out of that this minute."
Her answer was a tremendous sneeze. Then from the dusky cloud by the wall sounded a voice feebly protesting.
"Now, Laviny," began poor Kyan, "I never in my life--"
"Do you hear me? Come out of that!"
There was a sound of scrambling. More soot floated in the air. Then around the corner of the high-boy appeared Mr. Pepper, crawling on his hands and knees. His hair was streaked with black; his shirt front and collar and shirt sleeves were spotted and smeared with black; and from his blackened cheeks his red whiskers flamed like the last glowing embers in a fire-scarred ruin.
"Laviny," he panted, "I never was so surprised and upsot in all my life afore."
This was too much for Grace. She collapsed in a chair and laughed hysterically. Even the wrathful Keziah smiled. But Lavinia did not smile. For that matter, neither did her brother.
"Hum!" sneered Miss Pepper. "Upsot! Yes, I see you"re upsot. Get up, and try to look as much like a Christian as you can!"
Kyan rose from his knees to his feet and rubbed his back. He glanced reproachfully at Grace, then fearfully at his sister.
"I was just tryin" to help Keziah take down her stovepipe," he explained. "You see, she didn"t have no man to--"
"Yes, I see. Well, I judge you got it down. Now you go out to the sink and wash your face. Heavens and earth! Look at them clothes!"
"I do hope you didn"t hurt yourself, Abishai," said the sympathetic Keziah. Then, as remembrance of what had led to the upset came to her, she added: "Though I will say "twas your own fault and n.o.body else"s."
Lavinia whirled on her.
"His own fault, was it?" she repeated, her voice shrill and trembling.
"Thank you very much, marm. I cal"late "twas his own fault comin"
here, too, wa"n"t it? n.o.body led him on, I s"pose. n.o.body put him up to riggin" out in his best bib and tucker and sneakin" here the minute I was out of the house. No, n.o.body did! Of COURSE not!"
"No, n.o.body did," said Keziah briskly. "And you may know what you"re hintin" at, but I don"t."
"Dear me! Ain"t we innocent! We"ve got plenty of money, WE have.
Widowers with property ain"t no attraction to US. Everybody knows that--oh, yes! And they never talk of such a thing--oh, no! Folks don"t say that--that--Well," with a snarl in the direction of the kitchen, "are you anywheres nigh clean yet? Get your coat and hat on and come home with me."
She jerked her brother into the blue coat, jammed the tall hat down upon his head, and, seizing him by the arm, stalked to the door.
"Good day, marm," she said. "I do hope the next widower you get to take down your stovepipe--yes, indeed! ha! ha!--I hope you"ll have better luck with him. Though I don"t know who "twould be; there ain"t no more idiots in town that I know of. Good day, and thank you kindly for your attentions to our family."
She pulled the door open and was on the step; but Mrs. Coffin did not intend to let her go in just that way.
"Laviny Pepper," she declared, her eyes snapping, "I don"t know what you"re talkin" about, but if you dare to mean that I want any of your money, or your brother"s money, you"re mistaken--"cause I don"t. And I don"t want your brother either--Lord help him, poor thing! And I tell you right now that there"s n.o.body that does; though some kind-hearted folks have said "twould be a Christian act to poison him, so"s to put him out of his misery. There! Good mornin" to you."
She slammed the door. Lavinia was speechless. As for her brother, but one remark of his reached Grace, who was watching from the window.
"Laviny," pleaded Kyan, "just let me explain."