"Jesus, Eden. I"m sorry," Swanny said, regret swamping his face. "I didn"t mean to hurt you."
So much for schooling her features.
"It"s okay," she said lightly, proud of the way her voice didn"t quiver betrayingly. "I understand perfectly and I get it. You don"t have to beat me over the head with it. Now if you"ll excuse me, I have to get unpacked. There"s a lot to do between now and tomorrow morning. Perhaps we"ll order in room service a little later."
Before he could respond, she turned and grabbed one of her suitcases and hauled it toward one of the bedrooms.
He cursed colorfully and called her name, but she ignored it and shut the door behind her. She"d venture out to get the rest of her luggage later. Right now she wanted a long soaking bath and to lick her wounds.
Swanny watched her go, helplessness seizing him. He"d royally f.u.c.ked that up completely. But it baffled him that Eden was attracted to him. That she thought him beautiful, for f.u.c.k"s sake.
He ran an agitated hand through his hair and stared at the suitcases still lined up in the middle of the living room. He should bring them into her room for her, but she"d likely locked the door behind her.
The hurt he"d seen in her eyes, just for a fleeting moment before her face had become expressionless, made him feel like he"d kicked a puppy. Most men would dream of having a woman like Eden throwing herself at him. But women didn"t throw themselves at him, and he couldn"t fathom the idea that Eden wanted him. She had to have an ulterior motive, but what?
She seemed genuine and sincere. She hadn"t teased or flirted with any of the other guys. For whatever reason, she"d zeroed in on him and he"d solidly stuck his foot in his mouth and likely f.u.c.ked up any chance he had with her.
He sighed and bent to pick up his duffel bag again before heading to the bedroom. He left his door open so he could stay apprised of Eden"s comings and goings. The last thing he wanted was for her to take off from the hotel room because she no longer wanted to be around him.
To his surprise a knock sounded at the door and he hurried out, meeting Eden at her doorway.
"You stay put," he ordered, directing her back into her bedroom. "I"ll see who it is. Don"t come out unless I tell you."
She retreated, her features bland, but her eyes told a different story. d.a.m.n it, he"d hurt her feelings and that was the last thing he"d wanted. He wasn"t an expert when it came to women, f.u.c.k it all. He had no idea what to do with Eden. Oh, he knew what he"d like to do, but just not how to get there . . . gracefully. Without appearing to be a bull in rut.
A woman like Eden deserved to be made love to. Not f.u.c.ked without finesse and have it all be over in two seconds.
He looked through the peephole to see Skylar standing in the hallway gesturing for him to come out. Perplexed by what she could want, he followed her out and shut the door behind him.
A small smile flirted at the corners of Skylar"s mouth. "Look, I"m here to save you from yourself. Because if I have to guess, you"ve probably already f.u.c.ked this up royally. You can thank me later."
Swanny sighed. "I don"t need you to tell me how badly I"ve f.u.c.ked up."
"Yeah, you do," she said bluntly. "Look, Eden has a thing for you. I think it"s wonderful. It"s obvious she"s not some obnoxious sn.o.b who thinks she"s better than the rest of the human population. And she"s very interested in you. While you"re doing your best to f.u.c.k everything up. You couldn"t have looked more displeased when she asked you to room with her. She looked crushed."
It irritated Swanny to be lectured by his own teammate, but at least it wasn"t one of the guys giving him s.h.i.t. Skylar had a heart of gold and he knew he could count on her to keep her mouth shut.
"Look," she said quietly. "Eden appears to be a very special woman. I"d say even more special in my eyes because she recognizes the good man you are and isn"t put off by the scars that would put off lesser, more superficial women. And she"s beautiful. But more than the fact that she"s beautiful on the outside, she seems to be genuinely beautiful on the inside. And that"s what"s more important. So don"t f.u.c.k this up, Swanny. I know you. You"ll spend all your time befuddled and asking yourself why instead of just going with it. I"m certainly not going to lecture you on not getting involved with a client because h.e.l.l, the Kellys have made a regular practice of it. Not to mention our esteemed team leaders, Rio and Steele."
Swanny sucked in a deep breath, embarra.s.sed at what he was going to ask Skylar. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked in a desperate voice. "I"ve already hurt her feelings by suggesting I was just a distraction for her, a quick lay to pa.s.s the time and that she"d move on when this was all over."
Skylar winced. "Ouch. Not cool, Swanny. No woman wants to hear that. That"s more of a man"s M.O. We women tend to be more emotional creatures. Having s.e.x or making love, whatever you want to call it, means more to us than it does to men. I"d say you have some groveling to do with her now."
"You really think she wants me," he said bluntly. "Look at me, Skylar. I"m not a typical guy. Eden is surrounded by men a h.e.l.l of a lot more polished and sophisticated than I am. h.e.l.l, she told me we all had to wear tuxes to her launch event, and I broke into a cold sweat."
Skylar grinned. "Now that I"m taking pictures of."
"Be serious a minute," he pleaded.
"Yes, I think she wants you, Swanny," Skylar said in a more serious tone. "She"s certainly made herself obvious at great risk of embarra.s.sment to herself. She doesn"t strike me as the ho type who"ll make it with any available d.i.c.k. Most men would be on their knees because she chose them. Any particular reason you aren"t?"
He took a long moment to answer as he grappled with his thoughts. "No," he finally admitted. "Not a d.a.m.n reason at all. I"m just not into the whole one-night-stand, casual-s.e.x scene." He was a little embarra.s.sed to admit that to Skylar, but her face softened in understanding.
"I know you aren"t, Swanny. But if you think your scars make you any less desirable to a woman, you"re an idiot. I see the looks women throw your way. You, on the other hand, are oblivious. You"re so conditioned to see the worst in people that you never notice when you don"t get just that."
He had no idea what to say to that. "You don"t think I"m . . . ugly?"
Skylar"s face softened even more and she briefly touched the scar that puckered his face. "I don"t find you ugly at all, Swanny. In fact I find you very handsome."
The door opened and Eden stood there, a startled look on her face. Then crimson flooded her cheeks as she stared at Swanny and Skylar, Skylar"s hand still cupped over Swanny"s cheek.
"Uh, sorry to interrupt," she mumbled.
She hastily slammed the door back and Swanny swore viciously. "I can"t do anything right with her, it would seem. Now she"s going to think you and I are involved. Jesus, but when I f.u.c.k up, I f.u.c.k up big."
"Let me go in and talk to her," Skylar said. "It"s a woman thing. I"ll explain better than you. Men aren"t so good when it comes to words. Give me half an hour. Go wait in the room with Edge. I"ll be back in a bit."
CHAPTER 11.
EDEN was mentally kicking herself in the head when a soft knock sounded at her door.
"Eden? It"s me, Skylar. Can I come in?"
Eden let out a silent groan. The very last thing she wanted was a confrontation with the woman who was apparently involved with the man she"d just thrown herself at.
With a resigned sigh, she opened the door and gestured for Skylar to come in. Before Skylar could say anything, Eden took a deep breath.
"Look, I"m really sorry. I had no idea about you and Swanny. I know I way overstepped my boundaries. It won"t happen again. I promise."
Skylar smiled, her eyes warming as she took in Eden"s dismay. Then they softened in sympathy, which made Eden cringe all the more.
"Maybe we should go into the living room to talk," Skylar suggested. "I kicked Swanny out and he"s hanging with Edge until we"re done here."
Eden trudged into the living room on Skylar"s heels, her embarra.s.sment growing with every step. Of course Swanny would be attracted to someone like Skylar. She was confident and capable of holding her own in a sea of testosterone. She was kick-a.s.s and beautiful. What man could resist that combination?
"You completely misunderstood what you saw between Swanny and me," Skylar said gently. "He was kicking himself in the a.s.s for hurting you, and I was attempting to offer encouragement. Swanny isn"t the most confident when it comes to his appearance. Now, in every other aspect, he"s like whoa. He"s d.a.m.n good at his job and he is not to be f.u.c.ked with. But the scars bother him more than he lets on. The memories of how he got those scars are even harder for him to deal with."
"So you aren"t involved?" Eden asked hopefully.
Skylar shook her head. "Nope. We"re friends. Good friends and teammates. We have a bond, but it isn"t romantic."
"Does it make me a total s.l.u.t that I"m relieved?" Eden muttered.
Skylar"s eyes sparkled. "I think you would be very good for Swanny. But he"s also worried about you breaking his heart. Swanny isn"t most guys. He doesn"t f.u.c.k around for the sake of f.u.c.king around. And you wouldn"t be a notch on his bedpost. I mean, it wouldn"t go on his scorecard that he made it with the world"s most beautiful woman like it likely would be for some guys."
"Ouch," Eden winced. "Talk about a shot to my ego."
Skylar smiled. "Just saying it like it is. I"m sure you have your fill of guys who"d love to get into your pants for no other reason than to say they"ve done it. But Swanny isn"t like that. I don"t want him hurt, Eden."
Her expression became more serious as she studied Eden.
"But somehow I don"t think I need to worry about you breaking his heart. You don"t seem like the type to f.u.c.k around."
"Thanks for that, at least," Eden muttered.
"Look, just cut him some slack. I think he"s still in shock that you"re remotely attracted to him. And he"s probably arguing with himself because you"re a job and our job is to protect you, and if he gets emotionally involved, that will f.u.c.k with the mission. But hey, most everyone in our outfit met their significant other while on a mission, so it"s not like it hasn"t happened."
"Do I have a shot with him?" Eden asked in a low voice. "He told me a little about what happened. But I"m not at all sure what I"m dealing with here."
Skylar"s expression softened. "If he told you anything at all, then that"s a good sign because he doesn"t talk about it to anyone. He still has nightmares. We"ve all witnessed them but we don"t mention it because it makes him self-conscious. And yeah, I"d say you have a shot with him. You"re just going to have to be patient as he wars with himself over whether he can juggle the job and a relationship with you too."
"I can be patient when it comes to something I want," Eden said softly.
Skylar"s mouth quirked. "I like you, Eden. You"re not at all what I was expecting."
"I"m not even going to ask," Eden said dryly. "But I"m glad that whatever you thought I was didn"t turn out to be that way."
"I"m going to go kick Swanny back out of my room. He"s stewed long enough. He"s probably kicked himself in the a.s.s enough that it"s sore by now. Go easy on him. He"s a man, after all, and they"re incredibly thick when it comes to women. Believe me, I"ve seen it all," she added with a roll of her eyes.
"I like you too, Skylar," Eden said with a grin. "Anyone who can handle all that testosterone and hold their own certainly has earned respect."
"Swanny likes you," Skylar said bluntly. "Don"t let him f.u.c.k it up, Eden. He"s not used to contending with women wanting to be near him, and I"m guessing it freaks him out."
"Now that I know, you can be sure I"m not going to give up so easily," Eden said in a determined tone.
Skylar smiled again. "Awesome. Can"t wait to see him fall hard. This will have to be doc.u.mented for posterity."
Eden joined in her laughter, feeling at ease for the first time since this whole cl.u.s.terf.u.c.k had begun. A few days in Paris, with Swanny basically her captive audience? It was plenty of time to work her magic, provided she had any.
CHAPTER 12.
SWANNY let himself in the door as quietly as possible, though it was stupid of him to tiptoe around. But after making a total horse"s a.s.s of himself with Eden, and then Skylar having to smooth things over, he was feeling like a first-cla.s.s moron.
Skylar hadn"t said much, just that she"d explained "things" to Eden, whatever "things" was supposed to mean. Sky had worn a mischievous expression, though, and her eyes had sparkled with amus.e.m.e.nt when she"d told him to get his a.s.s back over to his room and quit acting like an idiot.
Then her expression had gotten more serious as she"d told him not to f.u.c.k up his chance with Eden. What chance? And how had things progressed to this point so d.a.m.n quickly? He"d only met the woman a little over twenty-four hours ago and it boggled his mind that he supposedly had a chance to mess up. Or get right.
He wasn"t sure whether he was relieved or disappointed when he found the living room empty and the door to Eden"s bedroom closed. He realized that he was a total chickens.h.i.t, which didn"t sit well with him. When it came to his profession he had confidence in spades. But on a personal level? Relationships? Confidence wasn"t a word that was exactly in his vocabulary. And definitely not with a woman like Eden.
What the h.e.l.l did she see in him? It was a question that had haunted him for hours. Why was she even bothering with him, and why had she looked so hurt when he"d pushed her away?
He couldn"t get that quick flash of hurt he"d seen in her eyes out of his mind. That he had that kind of power to hurt a woman of her caliber baffled him. Women like her likely left a trail of broken hearts in their wake. And yet she"d said rather bluntly that it was he who would likely break her heart.
He knew that s.h.i.t like love at first sight wasn"t some hokey c.r.a.p only in fiction. He"d witnessed it firsthand. Well, maybe it wasn"t at first sight, but pretty d.a.m.n close. His teammates had certainly fallen hard for their wives, and it sure as h.e.l.l hadn"t taken very long to accomplish. But it wasn"t something he ever envisioned happening to him.
How could he love someone he didn"t know? How could she love or rather like or be attracted to someone she didn"t know? They were, for all practical purposes, strangers thrown together by circ.u.mstance. Nothing more.
And yet she"d have him believe she felt something more for him. Would he be a fool to look the other way? To ignore what she was blatantly offering him? What was the worst that could happen? They"d have a fling and then go their separate ways? He could think of a lot worse things.
No one said they had to declare undying love or devotion to become involved physically.
Except that for him . . . s.e.x wasn"t casual. Or at least he didn"t consider it a mindless act. Something to gain quick release and then go on his merry way. Perhaps that was why his s.e.x life wasn"t exactly lighting the world on fire. Well, that and the fact that one side of his face was a mangled mess.
The few women he had been with hadn"t seemed to mind, but then he"d made d.a.m.n sure he made up for his appearance by focusing on their pleasure. Keeping the lights off hadn"t hurt either.
But who in their right mind would turn the lights off when making love to a woman as f.u.c.king gorgeous as Eden Sinclair? h.e.l.l, he"d want to memorize every part of her body. Every dip, every curve. He"d commit to memory the way her eyes glazed with pa.s.sion, the way they flared when she o.r.g.a.s.med. Though he might be putting too much stock in his s.e.xual prowess. Who was to say he"d even be able to satisfy her? A woman like her could certainly afford to be picky. And yet . . . she wanted him.
His groin reacted to the fantasy he was creating in his mind, and his d.i.c.k swelled in his jeans, making it d.a.m.n uncomfortable. He was going to wear the imprint of his zipper if he kept this up.
So what the h.e.l.l was he supposed to do? March into Eden"s bedroom, toss her on the bed and f.u.c.k her six ways to Sunday?
He shook his head in disgust. First he owed her an apology for acting like a d.i.c.k. She deserved more than some crude f.u.c.k. She deserved to be seduced. And then made love to the entire night, everything devoted entirely to her pleasure. He wanted to make her forget any other man she"d ever had s.e.x with. For her he"d pull out every single trick in his repertoire and learn a few more to boot. The idea of learning what pleased her appealed to him not only on a physical level but on an emotional one too.
"Swanny?"
It took him a minute to realize that Eden was standing in the doorway to her bedroom and that apparently she"d called his name more than once. He glanced up to see her wearing a worried frown as she stared at him, question in her eyes.
"Sorry," he muttered. "Was just thinking."
"Must not have been good thoughts," she murmured.
He almost laughed. If she only knew . . .
"I was asking if you were hungry. I was going to order room service. It"s late and I need to call it an early night. Shooting starts early tomorrow morning and I need to look my best."
As if she could look anything else. This was not a woman who had to work at looking good. If manufacturers could bottle her kind of beauty they"d be f.u.c.king gazillionaires. It was little wonder why she was so highly sought after. Having her back a product? Complete gold mine. She looked utterly approachable, not at all standoffish like he might expect someone of her celebrity to be. People likely flocked to her, drawn by her sweetness and genuine kindness.
"If you"ll tell me what you want, I"ll order for both of us," he offered.
She offered him a smile that took his breath. Bottled sunshine. That was her in a nutsh.e.l.l. He seemed to reference the sun a lot in her presence. But being in close proximity to her was like taking a bath in sunshine on a perfect spring day.
Jesus. Now he was some kind of d.a.m.n poet? It was obvious she turned him into a blithering idiot, waxing poetic when she was around him. If he weren"t careful, he"d start spouting the c.r.a.p he was thinking and then she"d realize what he already knew. That he"d lost his d.a.m.n mind.