I guess they had to wait till this graverobber graduated from college, because it was over a hour before he showed up. He gets out of a buggy that was all the rage about the time Washington was thinkin" of goin"
in the army, and the animal that was draggin" it along had been a total failure at tryin" to be a horse. The doc wasn"t a day over seventy-five and he was dressed in a hat that must have come with the buggy, a pair of shoes like grandpa used to wear to work and a set of white whiskers. If he had any clothes on, I didn"t see "em. All I seen was them whiskers! I figured, if he had plucked people from the grave, like Eddie Duke claimed, he must have did it after they was dead.
He didn"t look very encouragin" to me, but I led him upstairs and into the room where Scanlan was just comin" to and askin" what round it was.
Eddie Duke and Miss Vincent was at his bedside, and the rest of the gang was outside the door arguyin" over which was the best undertaker in Frisco. I slipped away to a telephone booth and called up information.
"Gimme the best doctor in California!" I says, flickin" a jitney in the slot.
"For a nickel?" giggles the dame on the other end.
"Stop it!" I says. "I got a man here that"s liable to croak any minute--this ain"t no time for comedy! Ah--what time do you get off?"
"I never go out with strangers," she says, "but you got a nice voice at that. Where is your friend doin" his sufferin" at?"
"Film City!" I tells her. "And my voice ain"t got nothin" on yours. I don"t want to give you no short answer, but can I get the doctor now?"
"I got him waitin"," she says. "If I was you, I wouldn"t let "em fill your friend full of dope; fresh air and sunshine"s got the druggist beat eighty ways! Good-by, Cutey--gimme a ring after the funeral!"
"This is the Hillcrest Sanitarium," pipes another voice over the wire, very sedate and dignified.
"And this is Johnny Green," I comes back, "manager of Kid Scanlan, the welterweight champ. We"ve throwed you people a lot of trade. Only a short while ago Scanlan flattened Young Hogan in two rounds, and Hogan was took there from the ring, remember? Well, I want the boss doctor there sent to Film City right away!"
With that begins a argument that went about fifteen minutes, and which I finally win by a shade. It seems it wasn"t the regular thing for the head doctor there to answer night bells and so forth, like a ordinary medico, and the goin" was rather tough for awhile. Three or four times, when I was ready to quit, this telephone dame, which was takin"
it all in with both ears, cut in with advice and helpful hints till the guy on the other end had enough and says he"ll come.
The first thing that met my eye, when I got back to the Kid, was Eddie Duke"s friend, the greatest doctor in the world. He was walkin" very fast away from the hotel and mutterin" to himself. I just had time to grab his arm, as he jumps in the buggy and reaches for the whip.
"Will he live, doc?" I asks him.
"Bah!" he snorts, jerkin" away from me. "The ignorant little pup!"
He whales Old Dobbin with the whip and leaves me flat.
I couldn"t figure out what the Kid"s education had to do with his health, so I beats it upstairs and all but fell over Eddie Duke. He"s holdin" one eye and mumblin" somethin" about "roughnecks" and "ingrat.i.tude." I kept on through the crowd and into the Kid"s room.
Scanlan is still on the bed groanin", and beside him is the hotel clerk, thumbin" a almanac.
"Wait!" pants the clerk, as I come in. "I"ll have it in a second." He turns over a lot more pages and then he hollers, "Ah! Here we are--what did I tell you? "First Aid to the Injured."" He clears his throat and the Kid looks up hopefully. "Number one," reads the clerk.
"_"First send for a physician!"_" He drops the book and dashes for the door. "Don"t do nothing till I get back!" he yells.
Scanlan starts to go after him, but moans and falls back on the bed.
"I wish I had a gun!" he snarls. "That big b.o.o.b has been here fifteen minutes tellin" me all he was gonna do for me as soon as he found it in the book! He--"
"Didn"t the doctor do no good?" I b.u.t.ts in, sittin" on the side of the bed.
"Doctor?" says the Kid. "What doctor?"
"Eddie Duke"s friend," I tells him. "The old--"
Scanlan leans up on his good arm.
"Listen, Johnny!" he says. "I still got a wallop in my right! Don"t kid me now or--"
"What d"ye mean kid you?" I asks him. "Didn"t the doctor--"
"Doctor!" he interrupts me, slammin" down the pillow. "If that guy was a doctor, I"m Caruso! He comes in here where I"m practically dyin" and tries to sell me a book!"
"Gimme it all!" I gasps.
"He sits down at the bed," explains the Kid, "and takes a big, black book out of what I figured was his medicine chest. He holds it up and asks me if I see it and I says I did, thinkin" I had pa.s.sed the first test easy. Then he says he wrote the book himself and it"s full of hope and cheer or dope and beer--to tell you the truth, I don"t know which it was on account of the pain. Anyhow, I let him get away with it, and he tells me to think of how lucky I actually am alongside of the Crown"s Prince of Germany--and then he begins to read from that book! It seems it"s a novel about faith bein" stronger than pain. By this time, I seen that he was either nutty or tryin" to kid me, so I cut him off by askin" him when he"s gonna fix up my arm. He says he"s doin" it now, and when he gets through, he"ll leave the book which will be a total of twenty-five bucks. When I come to, I ask him how long he had been a doctor, and he gets sore and claims he"s a healer of the Mystic Sliders or somethin" like that, and what do I mean by callin"
him a doctor? Then I called him a few other things so"s he wouldn"t have no kick comin" and gave him the b.u.m"s rush out of the room. Eddie Duke starts to moan about me maulin" his friend, and--well, get him to show you his eye!"
The door opens suddenly and Miss Vincent sticks the curls which all the shop girls is copyin" around the side of it.
"It"s the doctor!" she whispers.
"Say!" pipes the Kid, grabbin" a pillow. "That old guy is game, eh?"
"A fightin" fool!" I agrees.
But this time a tall, solemn-lookin" guy breezes into the room and stares at me and the Kid with the same warm friendliness that a motorcycle cop regards a b.o.o.b tryin" out a new auto. I figured he was the bird I had ordered by "phone, and hit 1000 on the guess. He leans over the Kid, prods him around a bit, and then goes over him like he had lost somethin" and thought maybe he"d find it there. Then he straightens up and grunts.
"Hmph!" he says. "This man is a nervous wreck! Completely run down--needs rest and diet. I have my car outside and can take him over to the sanitarium, if--are you a relative?"
"His manager," I explains. "How about the arm, doc?"
"Nothing!" he says. "Wrenched--that"s all. Come--help him downstairs, I"ll wait."
I took out a five-case note.
"What do we owe you, doc?" I asks him, hopin" for the best.
"My consultation fee is fifty dollars!" he says, without battin" an eye.
I staggered back against the bureau.
"Every time you see me it"s gonna set me back fifty?" asks the Kid, with tears in his voice.
The doc gives him a cold nod.
"Couldn"t I take some treatment by mail?" pipes Scanlan, hopefully.
"Cease!" I says, takin" out the old checkbook. "What"s your name, doc?"
"James," he says, "J. T. James."
"What"s the J stand for?" I asks, shakin" out the pen.
"Jesse!" b.u.t.ts in Scanlan. "Heh, doc?"