"I should think you jolly well would!" he comes back, calmin" down some. "Why--"
"Yes!" I goes on. "I got you. I"ve met so many from your lodge it"s funny I didn"t recognize the high signs right away. You"re a big, tinhorn four-flusher!"
Sweet Cookie!
His face did a Georgie Cohan, gettin" red, white and blue by turns, and he pawed the air, gaspin" for breath like a fat piano mover. Before he can get set for a comeback, they"s a loud crash outside the door, followed by the well known dull thud. In another minute Kid Scanlan walks in, draggin" somethin" after him by the back of the neck.
"Look what _I_ found!" chirps the Kid, droppin" the thing on the floor.
"By Jove!" squeals the big guy. "He"s killed my dresser!"
I got up from the chair and took a flash. Sure enough, the thing the Kid had dragged in was a human bein". He was a long, lean guy, lookin"
like he"d been over here about long enough to tell the judge that George Washington discovered America, was president now and stopped the Civil War, and can he please have his first papers, so"s he can vote against suffrage.
His one good eye opens and examines the room. Then he hops off the floor, shoots a hand inside his pocket and yanks it out with a thing that looked like a undeveloped spear.
"_Sapristi_!" he remarks loudly--and makes a dive at the Kid.
The chair I throwed at him was wasted, because Scanlan stepped aside and flattened the a.s.sa.s.sin with a left hook to the jaw. The big guy gives one yell and rushes out of the office.
"Who"s your friend?" I asks the Kid, pointin" to the sleepin" beauty on the floor.
The Kid glares down at the body and prods it with his foot.
"The big stiff!" he says. "I should have murdered him!"
"Well," I tells him soothin"ly, "it ain"t too late yet! What started the melee?"
He sits on the side of the desk and lights a cigarette.
"This hick is standin" outside here," he begins, "when I come along as peaceful as the Swiss navy. I see right away he"s a Eyetalian, and I"m anxious to show him I can talk his chatter so--"
"Wait a minute!" I b.u.t.ts in. "Since when have _you_ been able to speak Eyetalian?"
"What?" he snorts. "Another one, eh? Ain"t Miss Vincent been teachin"
me English, French, Eyetalian and what to do with the oyster fork?"
"Is she?" I comes back. "That"s all new to me. The last flash I got you was just takin" up how to enter a room!"
"Well, I"m past that," he explains, "and next week I begin on manners.
Anyhow, I see this b.o.o.b standin" there, and I says to myself, here"s a chance to pull a little Eyetalian. So with that I stands in front of him and says, "_Bomb Germo, Senorita--a vostrican salute_!""
The Kid stops and bangs his fist down on the table.
"What d"ye think the big hick said?" he asks me.
I pa.s.sed.
"He grins at me, waggles his shoulders and pipes, "_No spika da Engleesh_!"
""What d"ye mean _English_!" I says. "That ain"t English, that"s Eyetalian, Stupid! _Bomb Germo Senorita_!"
""No spika da Engleesh," he pipes again.
"I grabs him by the shoulder and swing him around.
""What part of Italy was you born in?" I inquires. "Hoboken?"
""No spika da Engleesh!" he grins.
"By this time my goat was runnin" around wild. I grabbed his other shoulder and looked him in the eye.
""I"ll give you one more chance," I says; "cut the comedy now and come through or you"re gonna have some bad luck. _Bomb Germo Senorita_!"
""No spika da Engleesh!" he says.
"With that, havin" took all a human bein" could stand, I let him fall!"
"Just a minute!" I says, as Scanlan starts for the door. "I want to ask you a question about the Eyetalian language, as long as you know so much about it. Just what does _Bomb Germo_ mean?"
The Kid stops and scratches his chin.
"To tell you the truth," he admits, "I don"t know!"
At that the door opens and in blows Genaro with the big dignified guy and "Bomb Germo" arises from the floor again, rubbin" the back of his head.
"What"s a mat?" asks Genaro, lookin" very excited from me to the Kid.
"Why you knock him down Meester Van Ness bureau?"
"Dresser!" corrects Van Ness, puttin" a round piece of gla.s.s over one eye and glarin" at us.
""Scuse a me!" pipes Genaro, makin" a bow. "Why you knock him down Meester Van Ness dresser?"
The Kid growls at "Bomb Germo" who hisses back at him like a snake and backs out of range of that left.
"I asked him "_Bomb Germo_,"" explains Scanlan, "and he started to kid me!"
"_Bomb Germo_? _Bomb Germo_?" repeats Genaro. "What is she that _Bomb Germo_?"
Scanlan grunts at him in disgust.
"You"re a fine Eyetalian, you are!" he snorts. "I"ll bet you and that other guy don"t know whether spaghetti is a outfielder or a race horse!"
Van Ness removes the one-cylinder eyegla.s.s for a minute and cleans it with his "for display only" handkerchief.
"Maybe," he remarks. "Maybe the fellow means to say "_Buona Juerno_!""
"Oh!" grins Genaro. "_Si_! He"sa mean "Good morning!" No?"