"You make my body feel so strange.""Oh? How so?"
I think for a moment,
"When you give me a certain look I feel so small,"
I hold his hand,
"And the way you touch me makes my body tingle."
"So, like this?"
He runs his hand along the lining of my panties.
"Mhm, like that."
I place my hand on top of his,
"You know what else I like Ricky?"
"Tell me."
His voice is stern as he commands me to tell him.
"I like how aggressive you are."
I hop on top of his lap and put my arms around his neck.
"I like the way you make me feel Ricardo."
"You know what I love?"
I kiss his neck,
"What?"
"You. I love you."
He rubs on my inner thigh,
"Ah, s-say it again."
I whisper.
"I love you Kazmaria."
"I love you too Ricardo."
His lips find their way to mine. He kisses me so pa.s.sionately, I feel like my body"s on fire.
He lays me on the bed and his face hovers close to mine.
"I-"
His sentence is cut off by a loud knocking on the door.
"s.h.i.t."
He pulls on a pair of shorts and walks out of the room,
"Stay here."
"Wait!"
He closes the bedroom door.
"Of course. There"s no way he could stay out of work."
My stomach starts to feel queasy. I rush to the bathroom.
Before I know it, my heads in the toilet and i"m blowing chunks.
"This is just not my morning."
I flush the toilet and stand up. I grab my toothbrush and mouthwash.
"That"s better."
"Hey Kaz! Get out here."
I wander into the front room where I see Lina and three men I"ve never seen before.
"Ah, mi hermosa Kaz!"
(Ah, my beautiful Kaz!)
Lina walks over and hugs me.
"Hey Lina! What brings you by?"
"My brothers had business to discuss with Ricky here and I wanted to tag along to see you."
She squeezes my hand,
"These are my older brothers Melvin, Junior, and Stefan."
They wave h.e.l.lo and I wave back shyly.
"You two should catch up. How about you show her out back Kaz?"
He looks at me with an uneasy look on his face. Maybe because i"m in one of his oversized shirts and nothing else.
"O-ok, c"mon Lina."
She holds my hand as we walk outside to the back porch.
"Oh wow it"s lovely up here."
We sit in the rocking chairs.
"So, what you been up too?"
"Nothing really, mostly just-"
"You and Ricky f.u.c.k yet?"
"W-what? Why would you ask that?!"
I can feel my face heat up with embarra.s.sment.
"I"ll take that as a yes."
She laughs.
"Are you guys trying for a child?"
"Oh no. I don"t think i"ll even have kids. Not really my thing."
"Hm, shame. You two would make beautiful babies."
"Babies huh?"
"Yeah? But I don"t think we"re ready for that kind of thing. We"re still learning about each other."
"Ok but hear me out; say you two have been dating for maybe two years and he proposed. You have a wedding, go on honeymoon and then what? No kids?"
I think it over,
"I mean he"s so busy and not to mention head of Arañas Rojas and i"m an...well you know."
"An a.s.sa.s.sin? What"s wrong with that?"
"Are you kidding me? With me being gone on missions all the time and him being head, that kid"ll be alone all the time."
She sucks her teeth,
"Fine no nieces or nephews for me then."
She pouts her lips. I laugh.
"Well since you don"t want kids, you should think about birth control."
"Birth control?"
"OmiG.o.d, are you not on it?"
Her question makes me feel ashamed.
"No..."
"Ok that"s fine I guess, but you have been using protection. Right?"
I hide my face,
"No."
There"s a awkward silence between us. I peep through my fingers and see that she holding back a laugh.
"Are you laughing at me?!"
"No..."
She bursts out laughing.
"Ok, maybe I am but only because you"re probably pregnant."
"WHAT?! WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?!"
"Think about it, you two have been going at it like two love sick puppies and you"re not on birth control and Ricky probably doesn"t even know what a condom is."
"But still, that doesn"t mean i"m pregnant!"
"True, but when was your last period?"
I think for a moment,
"s.h.i.t. This can"t be happening."
Lina giggles,
"Guess i"ll be an auntie sooner that I thought."
I grab her hand,
"We gotta get me a pregnancy test. Now."
Her smile fades.
"Um, ok?"
We rush back into the house.
"Hey, just in time. We"re all finished up."
Ricky looks down at me holding Lina"s hand then back up at me.
"Everything ok?"
"Can I talk to you..."
I can feel everyone looking at us.
"Well it was nice seeing you again Kaz. Mel, Junior, Stef, we should be on our way."
Lina hugs me one last time and then rushes her brothers out of the cabin.
"You wanna tell me what you two were talking about?"
"I...I need a pregnancy test."
His eyes get wide,
"Go get your f.u.c.king shoes."
***
I pace back and forth as I wait for the results.
"Baby open the door."
I crack open the bathroom door.
"Anything yet?"
I pull him inside the bathroom.
"I can"t look Ricky, i"m nervous."
I slide down on the floor. He joins me and holds my hand.
"Think of it like this Kaz, if it"s negative then we can continue our current lifestyle, we can continue to learn about each other."
"And if it"s positive?"
He hugs me tightly,
"Then we"ll be a family. Me, you, and our child."
I feel a lot more relaxed.
"Oh Ricky, that"s so sweet."
He helps me off the floor,
"Let"s look together ok?"
"Right."
I hold his hand tightly as I grab the test off the counter.
"Well? What does it say?"
"..."
"Kaz,"
He reaches for the test but I s.n.a.t.c.h it.
"I..."
He looks at me with a concerned look on his face,
"I need a shower."
I push him out of the bathroom and lock the door.
"Uh, ok? I guess I can wait."
I sit in the floor again.
"d.a.m.nit! Why me?!"
I make my way over to the shower then turn on the water and undress.
"Why do I feel like this?"