"Aye, you know where he"s at?""I think he"s in the garage."
"Still? d.a.m.n, he"s been in there all day."
"Did you want me to go get him?"
"Nah it"s fine, i"ll go."
Ricky"s working on one of his older cars. I know that he"s been out here for some time because he"s covered in sweat and has a new tan.
"Sabes que trabajar en el auto no encontrará a Kaz."
(You know working in the car won"t find Kaz.)
"Shut the f.u.c.k up about her."
"Ok, I get it. You"re p.i.s.sed at me about all this."
"I"m not mad at you!"
He slams down the hood of his car,
"I"m p.i.s.sed because it"s taking this f.u.c.king long to get back what"s mine!"
"What"s yours? She may have been your wife but she was not yours."
"She is my wife and she is mine."
"You know, you do this a lot. You think that if you have power over every d.a.m.n thing that nothing bad"ll happen."
"Carlos, sabes que eres mi hermano, pero le juro por Dios que si sigues hablando conmigo te mataré."
(Carlos, you know you"re my brother, but I swear to G.o.d, if you keep talking to me, I"ll kill you.)
"I understand that you"re angry or whatever, but acting like a jacka.s.s won"t find her any faster. So whenever you"re done pouting like a toddler, come upstairs, we might"ve found something."
***
"Is that all we have? There isn"t anymore? d.a.m.nIT!"
Ricky picks up a lamp and smashes it against the wall,
"I want all of my men there, NOW!"
"Yessir!"
I watch as he paces around the room with his fist balled up and his jaw clenched,
"He knew Carlos. He knew about this s.h.i.t."
"I don"t think he did Ricky."
"HE DID AND HE KNEW THAT I"D HAVE TO LET HER GO!"
"Let her go?"
He grabs his gun, c.o.c.ks it, and stomps out the room.
"Ricky wait!"
I hurry and jump in front of him and yank the gun from him. He shoves me hard but I don"t hit back,
"d.a.m.nit Carlos! Give it here!"
He hits me again,
"You know I can"t do that Ricardo."
"Please Carlos..."
His eyes are gla.s.sy but I know that he"s to stubborn to let them spill over,
"I gotta find her."
"And we will, but I can"t have you killing anyone else."
He wipes his face,
"Ok...you"re right. I"m fine."
"Good, maybe now you can tell me what you meant by "let her go" ."
"Not now. I"ll explain later but right this second I need everyone we have in that neighborhood. Call Yoyo and show him what you showed me."
He hastily gets up and leaves the room,
"I"m going for a smoke."
***
"No. I"m not doing this."
"You act as if you have a choice. You take your a.s.s in there and fight, or your more than welcome to get back on that table."
"Fine. I don"t care, i"m not killing innocent people for your f.u.c.king entertainment you a.s.shole."
He strikes me across my face and yanks my hair,
"Listen to me little girl, I own you now so i"ll make you do whatever I f.u.c.king feel like. So if you don"t like it then leave, oh wait ya can"t because he f.u.c.king gave you to me!"
I shove him off me,
"What did you say?"
I can feel my legs shake,
"What do you mean Kai?"
"Heh, your little lover gave you to me. I was supposed to come pick you up before the wedding but I couldn"t wait."
He rubs my face but I slap his hand away,
"You"re lying. He would never do that to me, he loves me. We"re getting married!"
He burst out laughing,
"Oh my G.o.d, you really are dumb. You think that he loved you? That he really wanted to spend his life locked down with one b.i.t.c.h?"
"He"s lying Kaz, don"t listen."
"Stop..."
"Him and your brother have been beefing for years, you were just a peace agreement. But know he"s tired of you, but don"t worry Negative, i"m here now and i"ll show you what a real man is."
"Stop! Stop lying to me! And don"t call me that. I am Kazmaria, not Negative! She"s dead! She died when the woman in white did!"
He scoffs,
"The woman in white isn"t dead, Negative. She"s the reason you"re here today."
I can"t breath. My life"s been a f.u.c.king lie and she"s to blame. How could he do this to me? Why didn"t I think about that possibility before? My mind was racing and what little scene I had was gone. I was finally consumed by the rage and hatred that I had been bottling up for so long.
"Now chop chop s.e.xy, we gotta move."
***
"Sir, we just revived an update on Kazmaria."
"And?"
I feel a all jittery and anxious,
"We think that she"s been taking by a man named Kai Tamoyaki. Does that name ring any bells?"
"So now total randoms have a grudge against me? Great. You have anything else on him?"
"Yessir, he"s said to be a distant partner of Lucy and Kaz"s mother."
"Her mother? The one Carlos killed? How the f.u.c.k is that possible?"
"Well sir, it would appear that after the blast she was taken to an underground hospital and treated her until she got better."
"But Lucy wasn"t at that ball."
"Exactly, which means that-"
"There"s another f.u.c.king rat."
"I"m afraid so sir."
"Call the board and schedule another meeting. I"m so sick of this bulls.h.i.t!"
"Right away sir, anything else?"
"Get me another pack of ciggs."
"Yessir."
My a.s.sistant nods and I leave the room. I can feel every bone in my body ripple with pure anger. I can feel myself slowly seeping back into that low place she saved me from. I don"t know what to do with myself anymore, she was the last bit of sanity I had...but know she"s gone. To think that I never looked into her death is my own d.a.m.n fault.
"None of this would"ve happened if I had been home that morning. This is all my fault."