"n.o.body could sleep since all the excitement," she said. "I wonder it did not wake you."
"I was tired," said Helen; "I guess that was it."
"You"ll find the breakfast rather a sombre repast," added Mrs.
Roberts, pathetically. "I"ve been up nearly three hours myself, so frightened about poor Mr. Howard; I had neveer seen anyone so dreadfully ill, and I was quite certain he was in his death agony."
"Aunt Polly!" cried Helen with a sudden wild start, "why do you talk like that?"
"I won"t say any more about it," was the reply, "only hurry up. And put on your best looks, my dear, for Mr. Harrison to carry away in his memory."
"I"ll do that much with pleasure," was the answer; "and please have the maid come up to pack my trunks again; for you won"t want me to stay now, of course."
"Oh, no," said Mrs. Roberts, "not unless you want to. Our house won"t be a very cheerful place, I fear."
"I"ll come back in a week or two, when you are ready for me," Helen added; "in the meantime I can be thinking about Mr. Harrison."
Helen was soon on her way downstairs, for it was terrifying to her to be alone and in the neighborhood of Mr. Howard. She found a sombre gathering indeed, for the guests spoke to each other only in half-whispers, and there were few smiles to be seen. Helen found herself placed opposite Mr. Harrison at the table, and she had a chance to study him by glances through the meal. "He"s well dressed, anyway," she mused, "and he isn"t altogether bad. I wonder if I"d _dare_ to marry him."
After breakfast Helen strolled out upon the piazza, perhaps with some purpose in her mind; for it is not unpleasant to toy with a temptation, even when one means to resist it. At any rate, she was a little excited when she heard Mr. Harrison coming out to join her there.
"Rather a sad ending of our little party, wasn"t it, Miss Davis?" he said.
"Yes," answered the girl, "I feel so sorry for poor Mr. Howard."
"He seemed to be rather ill last night," said the other. He was going to add that the fact perhaps accounted for the invalid"s severity, but he was afraid of shocking Helen by his levity,--a not entirely necessary precaution, unfortunately.
"You are going back to town this morning, with the others?" Helen asked.
"No," said Mr. Harrison, somewhat to her surprise; "I have a different plan."
"Good Heavens, does he suppose he"s going to stay here with me?"
thought the girl.
"I received your aunt"s permission to ask you," continued Mr.
Harrison, "and so I need only yours."
"For what?" Helen inquired, with varied emotions.
"To drive you over to Oakdale with my rig," said the other. "I had it brought down, you know, because I thought there might be a chance to use it."
Helen had turned slightly paler, and was staring in front of her.
"Are you not fond of driving, then, Miss Davis?" asked the other, as she hesitated.
"Yes," said Helen, "but I don"t like to trouble you--"
"I a.s.sure you it will be the greatest pleasure in the world," said Mr. Harrison; "I only regret that I shall not be able to see more of you, Miss Davis; it is only for the present, I hope."
"Thank you," said Helen, still very faintly.
"And I have a pair of horses that I am rather proud of," added Mr.
Harrison, laughing; "I should like you to tell me what you think of them. Will you give me the pleasure?"
And Helen could not hesitate very much longer without being rude.
"If you really wish it, Mr. Harrison," she said, "very well." And then someone else came out on the piazza and cut short the conversation; Helen had no time to think any more about the matter, but she had a disagreeable consciousness that her blood was flowing faster again, and that her old agitation was back in all its strength. Soon afterwards Mrs. Roberts came out and joined the two.
"Miss Davis has granted me the very great favor," said Mr. Harrison; "I fear I shall be happier than I ought to be, considering what suffering I leave behind."
"It will do no good to worry about it," said Mrs. Roberts, a reflection which often keeps the world from wasting its sympathy. "I shall have your carriage brought round."
"Isn"t it rather early to start?" asked Helen.
"I don"t know," said her aunt; "is it?"
"We can take a little drive if it is," said Mr. Harrison; "I mean that Miss Davis shall think a great deal of my horses."
Helen said nothing, but stood gazing in front of her across the lawns, her mind in a tempest of emotions. She could not put away from her the excitement that Mr. Harrison"s presence brought; the visions of wealth and power which gleamed before her almost overwhelmed her with their vastness. But she had also the memory of her morning resolve to trouble her conscience; the result was the same confused helplessness, the dazed and frightened feeling which she so rebelled against.
"I do not _want_ to be troubled in this way," she muttered angrily to herself, again and again; "I wish to be let alone, so that I can be happy!"
Yet there was no chance just then for her to find an instant"s peace, or time for further thought; there were half a dozen people about her, and she was compelled to listen to and answer commonplace remarks about the beauty of the country in front of her, and about her singing on the previous evening.
She had to stifle her agitation as best she could, and almost before she realized it her aunt had come to summon her to get ready for the drive.
Helen hoped to have a moment"s quiet then; but there was nothing to be done but put on her hat and gloves, and Mrs. Roberts was with her all the time. "Helen," she said pleadingly, as she watched the girl surveying herself in the gla.s.s, "I do hope you will not forget all that I told you."
"I wish you would let me alone about it!" cried Helen, very peevishly.
"If you only knew, my dear girl, how much I have done for you,"
replied the other, "and how I"ve planned and looked forward to this time, I don"t think you"d answer me in that way."
"It isn"t that, Aunt Polly," exclaimed Helen, "but I am so confused and I don"t know what to think."
"I am trying my poor, humble best to show you what to think. And you could not possibly feel more worried than I just now; Helen, you could be rid of all these doubts and struggles in one instant, if you chose. Ask yourself if it is not true; you have only to give yourself into the arms of the happiness that calls you. And you never will get rid of the matter in any other way,--indeed you will not! If you should fling away this chance, the memory of it would never leave you all your life; after you knew it was too late, you would torment yourself a thousand times more than ever you can now."
"Oh, dear, dear!" cried Helen, half hysterically; "I can"t stand that, Aunt Polly. I"ll do anything, only let me alone! My head is aching to split, and I don"t know where I am."
"And you will never find another chance like it, Helen," went on the other, with sledge-hammer remorselessness. "For if you behave in this perfectly insane way and lose this opportunity, I shall simply give you up in despair at your perversity."
"But I haven"t said I was going to lose it," the girl exclaimed. "He won"t be any the less in love with me if I make him wait, Aunt Polly!--"
"Mr. Harrison was going back to Cincinnati in a day or two," put in Mrs. Roberts, swiftly.
"He will stay if I wish him to," was the girl"s reply. "There is no need for so much worry; one would think I was getting old."
"Old!" laughed the other. "You are so beautiful this morning, Helen, that I could fall in love with you myself." She turned the girl towards her, seeing that her toilet was finished. "I haven"t a thought in the world, dear, but to keep you so beautiful," she said; "I hate to see you tormenting yourself and making yourself so pale; why will you not take my advice and fling all these worries aside and let yourself be happy? That is all I want you to do, and it is so easy! Why is it that you do not want to be happy? I like to see you smile, Helen!" And Helen, who was tired of struggling, made a wry attempt to oblige her, and then broke into a laugh at herself.
Meanwhile the other picked a rose from a great bunch of them that lay upon the bureau, and pinned it upon her dress.
"There, child," she, said, "he can never resist you now, I know!"