1. I"ll Get You Laid
[Hyung-nim. You want to do it with a woman? Shall I make it happen?]
“W...what?”
[What do you mean what? I"m talking about s.e.x. Hyung-nim is currently h.o.r.n.y.]
Since he was a young child, he often saw ghosts.
After living with them for the past 34 years, the ghosts could surprise him, but he found out they couldn"t cause him harm.
Of course, there were a variety of ghosts, so there were some homeless ghosts that occasionally came to beg. They stealthily approached him. It was annoying.
Most of them wanted him to hear their grievances. There were some shameless ghosts, who asked him to take revenge for them. If he ignored them as if he couldn"t hear them, they eventually went away.
However, currently a male ghost in his 20s wearing a pajama had appeared in front of him. He spoke the magical words that made it impossible for him to ignore the ghost. The ghost was trying to tempt him.
He also kept calling him hyung-nim.
[Am I right? You want to have s.e.x? You want to go into an empty house, and b.u.mp uglies with this real estate agent. A middle aged woman that is overflowing with s.e.xual energy. It will be like a p.o.r.n film or an adult comic. I can make that happen. I can make it happen right now for you.]
He had met this woman only 10 minutes ago, yet the ghost would make it so that he can have s.e.x with this woman?
He knew nothing good could come from a.s.sociating with this ghost. f.u.c.k. Still, if one asked a guy with a d.i.c.k a hundred or a thousand times this question, he would almost always say yes.
It was as the b.a.s.t.a.r.d said. The real estate agent was strangely giving off a s.e.xual vibe, and she was stimulating his s.e.xual fantasies.
One could see she was wearing a black bra through her blouse, and she was wearing beige slacks. Her shoes was a bit elevated, but it was a slippers made for women. In front of the slippers, he could see a skin colored stocking wrapped around her toes. It increased the craving for his fetish.
She also had on a red colored pedicure. She was his ideal type.
She looked to be in her mid-30s or early 40s.
She was in the middle ground of being a business woman, and someone"s mom. She had a tough yet pragmatic eyes. She had just the right amount of excess weight around her waist. Her realistic body type also tugged at his heart.
Moreover, the current situation was also having an effect on him.
A male customer was trying to look for a house, and there was a middle-aged female real estate agent guiding him. It was a scenario one would come across at least once in a p.o.r.n video.
There was a calm atmosphere in the empty house. It seemed the woman needed to pee, since she went to the restroom immediately when she entered the house. Her indifferent actions was also arousing his evil imaginations.
“I want to do it, but.......”
He quietly went out to the porch. When he closed the door, this stranger of a ghost started whispering in his ears. The ghost gave a retort.
The ghost was already aware that he was aroused, and the ghost also knew he had s.e.xual desire for the middle aged woman.
The b.a.s.t.a.r.d put his head through the balcony window, and he answered in a confident voice.
[Yes. I"ll make it happen.]
“You son of a b.i.t.c.h. You are going to make it happen now?”
[Ah. Have you been listening to what I’ve been saying up until now? As I said, I"ll hook hyung-nim up with that woman.]
He became curious about this b.a.s.t.a.r.d"s intent.
There must be a catch to this proposal.
Whether it was a human or a ghost, no one did good for others unless there was a price.
“So what do you want?”
[I have nothing I want. I have a pure heart. I just want to relieve hyung-nim"s desire.]
“You son of a b.i.t.c.h. Are you perhaps a virgin ghost? Since you"ve never done it while alive, are you trying to get a vicarious satisfaction through me in death?”
It was his policy to not speak in honorific to ghosts. He spoke in a coa.r.s.e manner against them.
Then the ghosts won"t take see him as a pushover.
[I"m not a virgin ghost. So are you going to do it or not?]
“Are you perhaps trying to possess my body?”
[It isn"t anything like that. I"m just transferring my mystical powers to hyung-nim.]
Mystical powers.
If the ghost wasn"t borrowing his body, he was fine with it.
He had nothing to lose by trying it out. As he had that thought, he bit on the bait dangled by the ghost.
“Let"s do it.”
The ghost pushed his right palm towards him.
[Ok. Please put your hand against mine, and my ability will temporarily be transferred to hyung-nim.]
“I"m giving you an early warning. If you are pranking me, I"ll send you straight to h.e.l.l. My mother is acquainted with a pretty famous shaman at her workplace.”
[I understand. Just put your hand up against mine. I hear her flushing.]
His mind was bewitched by the word s.e.x, so he put his hand against the ghost"s hand. He didn"t feel anything, but he saw a blue light being absorbed into his hand.
“That"s it? What do I have to do now?”
[The ability will activate if you touch a woman"s body. It has to be skin-to-skin contact..]
“You crazy b.a.s.t.a.r.d. How am I going to touch someone I"ve just met?”
[How can a person be devoid of any imagination like you? You can act like you are taking her business card, and you can slightly brush your hand against hers. Or you can act like there is something on her hand, and you are trying to brush it off for her. I"m already serving you the food on a platter. Do I have to chew the food for you too?]
s.h.i.t. he never expected to be scolded by a ghost in my lifetime.
At that moment, he could hear the water turning on from the sink inside the restroom. Afterwards, he saw the real estate woman exit as she dried her wet hands with paper.
He didn"t know if this lady was just easy-going or oblivious. She had come to a house with a male customer, yet she went to the restroom as soon as she arrived.
She was his style.
“Did you say something?”
It seemed she had heard him whisper to the ghost. She asked with a smile on her face.
He came back in from the veranda, and he made up a plausible story.
“Ah, no. A friend called me, so we talked for a little bit.”
“How is it? Now that you are here yourself, do you like the house?”
“Yes. I quite like it.”
If only the ghost wasn"t here.
“A place like this doesn"t usually come up on market at this price. If you compare it to the other residences here, it is about 200 dollars cheaper.”
“Yes. I came here knowing that fact.”
“Ah, that"s right. You came here after looking at the app.”
He was having a conversation with her, but her words weren"t registering with him.
His heart was already filled with dirty thoughts.
He had been instructed to touch her bare skin.
He used the method suggested to him by the ghost. He asked her a question.
“I"m sorry, but do you have a business card?”
“Ah. Wait a moment.”
The ghost was looking on with a very pleased expression on his face. She took out her certified realtor"s business card from her phone case, and she handed it towards him.
He didn"t know what would happen, but he lightly touched her fingers as he took the business card from her.
"Hey. I did as you said. I touched her."
What’s suppos..... Huh?
A hologram window popped up next to the woman"s temple.
It was similar to the Character Information Window one saw in an RPG game.
The ghost spoke when he saw it.
[This is my ability. It is named "s.e.x Scan Window". I shortened the name, and now I just call it the "f.u.c.k Screen." It lists all the relevant information needed to get you laid. Hurry up and study it.]
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-Name : Kahng-hweeyun
-Age : 41
-Interest towards me : B
-s.e.xual Desire : A
-s.e.xual Openness Index : A
-s.e.xual Fantasy : Having s.e.x in an empty house with a client, who had come to view the house.
-Pinpoint : Back of Neck, Ankle
-Target Tip : Her s.e.xual desire has risen so high that she might f.u.c.k any man with a d.i.c.k. She couldn"t take her ex-husband"s authoritarianism, and standoffishness, so she divorced him. This is why she is attracted to affectionate and pa.s.sionate men. Since she labels herself as a divorced woman, her self esteem has fallen a lot. The ‘Interest towards me’ isn’t bad, but it isn’t sufficient enough to allow you to undress her. You should speak in a kind tone as you compliment her on her fashion sense. You should speak laugh as you speak. Try pulling up the Interest to Rank A.
-Recommended Comment : “Your short hair really suits you.”
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T...these were amazing tips.
It was named the s.e.x Scan Window. As befitting its name, the information listed were high quality information.
He slightly shifted his gaze to look at the ghost floating above Kahng-hweeyun.
The b.a.s.t.a.r.ds had both his thumbs up.
He never expected to run across such a benevolent ghost. No, maybe the ghost was an angel.
He pretended to scratch his nose as he discreetly raised his thumb to give a reply to the ghost.
His heart was beating fast. It was as if he had just finished running a 100m race.
While I was quickly reading the f.u.c.k Screen, the ghost started to give me an additional explanation.
[Her s.e.xual desire is robust, and she is very open-minded about s.e.x like those French or Netherland women. Pinpoint is basically her most sensitive erogenous zone. Currently, she has a good deal of interest towards hyung-nim. If you exchange number with her, you"ll probably be able to have s.e.x with her in the near future. However, doesn"t hyung-nim want to have s.e.x here right now?]
He gave a minute nod of my head.
‘So just tell me what I have to do, you son of a b.i.t.c.h!’
[The most favorable part going for you is her s.e.xual fantasy. It is to have s.e.x with a client during as she is in the midst of doing her work. You should be mindful of your timing, and you can drop the Recommended Comment on her. Are you able to do that?]
He had been looking at the crudely named f.u.c.k Screen, and Kahng-hweeyun noticed it. She nervously looked behind as she asked a question.
“W...what is it? Is something there?”
“N...no. I just think the short hair really looks good on you.”
“Yes......? Are you talking to me?”
“Of course, who else is here except you. Haha.”
Her face visibly reddened as if she was a girl in p.u.b.erty.
At that moment, he heard a female voice from inside his head.
This comment he brought up out of nowhere really worked!
Was stealing a woman’s heart really this easy?
As the voice continued to talk, an additional f.u.c.k Screen appeared.
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Clear Tip : Within 6 seconds, you have to touch Kahng-hweeyun"s left ankle.
Recommended Comment : “Please stay still for a moment. There is a bug on your foot.”
----------------------------
It was as if he was bewitch by something.
He decided to just read whatever was on the f.u.c.k Screen.
“P...please stay still for a moment. There is a bug on your foot.”
Kahng-hweeyun was surprised, and she froze in place.
“G...get it off me. Please hurry.”
At the same time, a red cursor appeared near her left ankle, and a 6 second countdown started.
6, 5, 4.......
Isn"t this like a Dating Simulation Game?
Wasn’t there one called the Cla.s.smate?
He followed the direction. He bent forward, and he gently grabbed her left ankle, and he spoke those words.
“Ah. It wasn’t a bug. It was a leaf.”
At that moment, Kahng-hweeyung"s body trembled, and a delicate moan escaped her.
“Ah.......”
T...this is!?
His d.i.c.k was fully erect when he heard the delicate moan. It was so hard that he wondered if everything was fine.
His actions afterwards weren’t directed by the f.u.c.k Screen. His actions were directed by pure animal instinct.
The hand that had been grabbing the ankle moved to slip within her trouser cuff.
He could feel the her calf, which was surrounded by stocking. He slid his hand down again to the Pinpoint, and he lightly tickled her ankle.
He was almost afraid of his own actions. He had been very daring with his actions.
Ladies and gentlemen. This how dangerous a woman’s moan is.
s.h.i.t. What will happen if she reports him for s.e.xual hara.s.sment.......
“Ah...... That"s good.......”
She said it was good.
Her body was visibly trembling.
Her knee was bent, and he could see her heel raise upwards. The front tips of her charming toes covered in her stocking peeked out, and he could see her toes were curled.
He got up. While he was at it, he decided to use the other Pinpoint location. He lightly pressed his lips on the nape of her neck. He got a big whiff of the fruit-scented shampoo she had used.
‘Ah. Good. Go on.’
Those exclamations kept coming out fro Kahn-hweeyun’s mouth.
Eventually, her hand started to search for the zipper of his pants. He continued to lick the nape of her neck greedily, and he started to unb.u.t.ton her blouse one by one.
He had never experienced this in his 34 years of life even though he tried hard to make it happen.
For the first time in his life, he had his first one night stand.