In a fortified command post in the middle of the Paleres/Desert border, the Black General, General Bakar himself, received reports of the incoming forces from Fal"Herim."How dare they invade us! This is an unprovoked attack, without declaration of war!" Bakar fumed.
"Yeah! Just like we did them!" Aide Ali exclaimed.
WHACK! General Bakar smacked Ali over the head with his four star General"s hat.
"We should announce it to the international community! The Brotherhood of Six shall know of this!"
Ali cheered. "Yeah! Cuz everyone"s doing the same thing!"
WHACK! General Bakar smacked Ali over the head with his white gloves.
"Prepare the artillery! We"re going to pound these desert-rats into the dirt!"
"Except… you know… the desert don"t have no dirt. There"s only sand…"
WHACK!
"You wanna give the orders?!" General Bakar said threateningly.
"Yes, sir!" Aide Ali leapt up. "Sound the alarm! All civilians to the main keep! Reinforce the palisade! Rouse the local militia and have them barricade the gates! Divide the cavalry into two units and prepare for hara.s.sing maneuvers!"
WHACK!
"What nonsense are you spouting?! Arm the magic cannons!" General Bakar snorted. "We"ll bombard them from afar!"
"But sir! There"s no more mana!" Ali protested.
"So? Have the magi power them manually!"
"But, sir, our magi are already exhausted and threatening to quit!"
WHACK!
"They dare to threaten me?! Me, the burning general?! How dare they! They will suffer for this! Execute them! Execute them all!"
"But, sir, if we kill them, who"s going to power the cannons?"
WHACK!
"Get other magi, idiot! The world is full of them! Threaten their families if they refuse to come!"
"But… but there ARE no other magi! Everyone"s already been hired by someone else! And besides… there"s no time!"
WHACK!
"There"s time if I say there"s time! Now, go get the magi!" General Bakar roared.
Ali stiffly saluted and left.
He never came back.
***
Four hours later, another Aide, Aide Abu, came in to report. "Sir, the Fal"Herim raiders are acting suspiciously."
"What do you mean, suspiciously?" General Bakar grouched. "And where is Ali and my magi?"
"I don"t know about Ali, sir, but the enemy is skirting around our perimeter, just out of bowshot. The captain wants to set up a few catapults."
"Catapults? We should blast them to bits with the magic cannon! Where is Ali?!"
"I"ll… I"ll go find him, sir."
***
Three hours later, Abu came back. "Sir, I can"t find Ali. Also, there"s bad news."
"Can"t find Ali? Then you go get us some magi!"
"There"s… there"s no point, sir. The enemy has left."
General Bakar stared at him blankly. " "Left"? What do you mean, "left"?"
"They"ve turned around and gone back to Fal"Herim, sir."
General Bakar started to guffaw. "They must have seen the strength of our forces and realized they were only in for a thrashing if they dared come at us."
"No, sir, they"re about three times our number…"
WHACK! Deprived of Ali, General Bakar settled for whacking Abu over the head with his hat. "They"ve fled, haven"t they? How is that bad news?!"
"That"s not the bad news, sir."
"Then what is?"
"The bad news is… our food is gone. We only found out when it was time for lunch."
General Bakar stared. "What do you mean, "gone"?"
"It means, sir, the storehouse is empty. The kitchen, the larder, the markets… all the food stores in town has been cleaned out."
"How… how could this happen?!" General Bakar spluttered. "Where were the guards?"
"Still there, sir!"
WHACK! "If they"re there, then where"s the food?! What about my LUNCH!?"
"We"ll… have to buy food from another town, sir. It will take a while."
Grumbling to himself, General Bakar sat down and brooded darkly. "Do it. Take my token to the treasure and get it done!"
***
Ten minutes later, Abu came back. "Sir, we can"t buy food."
"What? Why not?"
"Because, sir, the treasury is empty. Everything is gone. Not even a single coin left. There"s a reason why other countries use Deutero Banking accounts instead of their own vaults."
General Bakar stared blankly. "Didn"t the Fal"Herim raiders turn back before reaching the town?"
"Yes, sir."
"Then why does it seem like we"ve been completely plundered?!" General Bakar started to swear and curse. "Everyone, to arms! We"re going to Fal"Herim to have them pay for everything that"s lost! I don"t care if they took it or someone else did, they"re going to pay for it! Make ready the carts and load double the ammunition for the cannons!"
"Yes, sir…"
***
Five minutes later, Abu came back. "Sir, we can"t load ammunition."
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" By this time General Bakar was in a frenzy.
"Sir, the ammunition is gone. The reserve cannons too. In fact, sir… the armory has been cleaned out. Except for what the soldiers are wearing and carrying, there"s nothing left. Even the maintenance tools are gone."
Furiously, General Bakar leapt to his feet. "Mobilize the cavalry! We"re going to Fal"Herim NOW!"
"Yes, sir…"
***
Three minutes later, Abu came back. "Sir, we can"t mobilize the cavalry."
"WHAT?!"
"The cavalry… they"re gone too."
"…"
***
On the other side of the desert separating Fal"Herim from Paleres, Tim shook hands with Ali amidst crowds of smiling soldiers.
"Six hundred light cavalry, fifty armored camels and crossbowmen, just as promised." Ali said, rubbing his head furtively. "We"re all willing to defect and join Fal"Herim."
"Thank you for the maps and the troops." Tim patted him on the back. "Fifty carts worth of food, twenty carts of armaments, and five carts of lir. I think we got everything we came for. Any regrets?"
"Um…" Ali hesitated. "Are you going to whack me over the head every time I say something?"
Tim blinked. "No. Why would I ever do that?"
At that, Ali grinned. "Then, no. I have no regrets."