The kindly tone and the sympathizing look, as well as the lines in his forehead, and a few gray hairs among the brown, gave Psyche courage to say more.
"I love beauty so much that I not only want to possess it myself, but to gain the power of seeing it in all things, and the art of reproducing it with truth. I have tried very hard to do it, but something is wanting; and in spite of my intense desire I never get on."
As she spoke the girl"s eyes filled and fell in spite of herself, and turning a little with sudden shamefacedness she saw, lying on the table beside her among other sc.r.a.ps in ma.n.u.script and print, the well-known lines,--
"I slept, and dreamed that life was beauty; I woke, and found that life was duty.
Was thy dream then a shadowy lie?
Toil on, sad heart, courageously, And thou shall find thy dream to be A noonday light and truth to thee."
She knew them at a glance, had read them many times, but now they came home to her with sudden force, and, seeing that his eye had followed hers, she said in her impulsive fashion.--
"Is doing one"s duty a good way to feed heart, soul, and imagination?"
As if he had caught a glimpse of what was going on in her mind, Paul answered emphatically,--
"Excellent; for if one is good, one is happy, and if happy, one can work well. Moulding character is the highest sort of sculpture, and all of us should learn that art before we touch clay or marble."
He spoke with the energy of a man who believed what he said, and did his best to be worthy of the rich gift bestowed upon him. The sight of her violets in a gla.s.s of water, and Giovanni staring at her with round eyes, suddenly recalled Psyche to a sense of the proprieties which she had been innocently outraging for the last ten minutes. A sort of panic seized her; she blushed deeply, retreated precipitately to the door, and vanished, murmuring thanks and apologies as she went.
"Did you find him? I thought you had forgotten," said Miss d.i.c.kenson, now hard at work.
"Yes, I found him. No, I shall not forget," returned Psyche, thinking of Gage, not Giovanni.
She stood before her work eying it intently for several minutes; then, with an expression of great contempt for the whole thing, she suddenly tilted her cherished Venus on to the floor, gave the cla.s.sical face a finishing crunch, and put on her hat in a decisive manner, saying briefly to the dismayed damsels,--
"Good-by, girls; I shan"t come any more, for I"m going to work at home hereafter."
II
The prospect of pursuing artistic studies at home was not brilliant, as one may imagine when I mention that Psyche"s father was a painfully prosaic man, wrapt in flannel, so to speak; for his woollen mills left him no time for anything but sleep, food, and newspapers. Mrs. Dean was one of those exasperating women who pervade their mansions like a domestic steam-engine one week and take to their sofas the next, absorbed by fidgets and foot-stoves, shawls and lamentations. There were three riotous and robust young brothers, whom it is unnecessary to describe except by stating that they were _boys_ in the broadest sense of that delightful word. There was a feeble little sister, whose patient, suffering face demanded constant love and care to mitigate the weariness of a life of pain. And last, but not least by any means, there were two Irish ladies, who, with the best intentions imaginable, produced a universal state of topsy-turviness when left to themselves for a moment.
But being very much in earnest about doing her duty, not because it _was_ her duty, but as a means toward an end, Psyche fell to work with a will, hoping to serve both masters at once. So she might have done, perhaps, if flesh and blood had been as plastic as clay, but the live models were so exacting in their demands upon her time and strength, that the poor statues went to the wall. Sculpture and sewing, calls and crayons, Ruskin and receipt-books, didn"t work well together, and poor Psyche found duties and desires desperately antagonistic. Take a day as a sample.
"The washing and ironing are well over, thank goodness, mother quiet, the boys out of the way, and May comfortable, so I"ll indulge myself in a blissful day after my own heart," Psyche said, as she shut herself into her little studio, and prepared to enjoy a few hours of hard study and happy day-dreams.
With a book on her lap, and her own round white arm going through all manner of queer evolutions, she was placidly repeating, "Deltoides, Biceps, Triceps, p.r.o.nator, Supinator, Palmanis, Flexor carpi ulnaris--"
"Here"s Flexis what-you-call-ums for you," interrupted a voice, which began in a shrill falsetto and ended in a gruff ba.s.s, as a flushed, dusty, long-legged boy burst in, with a bleeding hand obligingly extended for inspection.
"Mercy on us, Harry! what have you done to yourself now? Split your fingers with a cricket-ball again?" cried Psyche, as her arms went up and her book went down.
"I just thrashed one of the fellows because he got mad and said father was going to fail."
"O Harry, is he?"
"Of course he isn"t! It"s hard times for every one, but father will pull through all right. No use to try and explain it all; girls can"t understand business; so you just tie me up, and don"t worry," was the characteristic reply of the young man, who, being three years her junior, of course treated the weaker vessel with lordly condescension.
"What a dreadful wound! I hope nothing is broken, for I haven"t studied the hand much yet, and may do mischief doing it up," said Psyche, examining the great grimy paw with tender solicitude.
"Much good your biceps, and deltoids, and things do you, if you can"t right up a little cut like that," squeaked the ungrateful hero.
"I"m not going to be a surgeon, thank heaven; I intend to make perfect hands and arms, not mend damaged ones," retorted Psyche, in a dignified tone, somewhat marred by a great piece of court-plaster on her tongue.
"I should say a surgeon could improve _that_ perfect thing, if he didn"t die a-laughing before he began," growled Harry, pointing with a scornful grin at a clay arm humpy with muscles, all carefully developed in the wrong places.
"Don"t sneer, Hal, for you don"t know anything about it. Wait a few years and see if you"re not proud of me."
"Sculp away and do something, then I"ll hurrah for your mud-pies like a good one;" with which cheering promise the youth left, having effectually disturbed his sister"s peaceful mood.
Anxious thoughts of her father rendered "biceps, deltoids, and things"
uninteresting, and hoping to compose her mind, she took up The Old Painters and went on with the story of Claude Lorraine. She had just reached the tender scene where,--
"Calista gazed with enthusiasm, while she looked like a being of heaven rather than earth. "My friend," she cried, "I read in thy picture thy immortality!" As she spoke, her head sunk upon his bosom, and it was several moments before Claude perceived that he supported a lifeless form."
"How sweet!" said Psyche, with a romantic sigh.
"Faith, and swate it is, thin!" echoed Katy, whose red head had just appeared round the half opened door. "It"s gingy-bread I"m making the day, miss, and will I be puttin" purlash or sallyrathis into it, if ye plase?"
"Purlash, by all means," returned the girl, keeping her countenance, fearing to enrage Katy by a laugh; for the angry pa.s.sions of the red-haired one rose more quickly than her bread.
As she departed with alacrity to add a spoonful of starch and a pinch of whiting to her cake, Psyche, feeling better for her story and her smile, put on her bib and paper cap and fell to work on the deformed arm. An hour of bliss, then came a ring at the door-bell, followed by Biddy to announce callers, and add that as "the mistress was in her bed, miss must go and take care of "em." Whereat "miss" cast down her tools in despair, threw her cap one way, her bib another, and went in to her guests with anything but a rapturous welcome.
Dinner being accomplished after much rushing up and down stairs with trays and messages for Mrs. Dean, Psyche fled again to her studio, ordering no one to approach under pain of a scolding. All went well till, going in search of something, she found her little sister sitting on the floor with her cheek against the studio door.
"I didn"t mean to be naughty, Sy, but mother is asleep, and the boys all gone, so I just came to be near you; it"s so lonely everywhere,"
she said, apologetically, as she lifted up the heavy head that always ached.
"The boys are very thoughtless. Come in and stay with me; you are such a mouse you won"t disturb me. Wouldn"t you like to play be a model and let me draw your arm, and tell you all about the nice little bones and muscles?" asked Psyche, who had the fever very strong upon her just then.
May didn"t look as if the proposed amus.e.m.e.nt overwhelmed her with delight, but meekly consented to be perched upon a high stool with one arm propped up by a dropsical plaster cherub, while Psyche drew busily, feeling that duty and pleasure were being delightfully combined.
"Can"t you hold your arm still, child? It shakes so I can"t get it right," she said, rather impatiently.
"No, it will tremble "cause it"s weak. I try hard, Sy, but there doesn"t seem to be much strongness in me lately."
"That"s better; keep it so a few minutes and I"ll be done," cried the artist, forgetting that a few minutes may seem ages.
"My arm is so thin you can see the bunches nicely,--can"t you?"
"Yes, dear."
Psyche glanced up at the wasted limb, and when she drew again there was a blur before her eyes for a minute.
"I wish I was as fat as this white boy; but I get thinner every day somehow, and pretty soon there won"t be any of me left but my little bones," said the child, looking at the winged cherub with sorrowful envy.
"Don"t, my darling; don"t say that," cried Psyche, dropping her work with a sudden pang at her heart. "I"m a sinful, selfish girl to keep you here! you"re weak for want of air; come out and see the chickens, and pick dandelions, and have a good romp with the boys."