"You"re the one who said it was, not me." I remember the threat, remember the promise. Yet I really have yet to see it.
"That was before I tasted you, before I had your body underneath me, my c.o.c.k inside you. Before I knew what waking up next to you every morning would be like." I look down into his eyes and I know he"s telling the truth. I see the conviction in them, but it only hurts me more, because I"m changing him.
"But you want more. You want me tied to your bed while you hurt me?" Images of him and Lissy flash before me and I have to force myself to shake them out.
"Yeah, I"m not gonna lie, darlin". I want you in more ways than one. But I don"t want to hurt you. For me, it"s more about the pleasure I can draw out of you, but just like this dress, if what I want and what you need from me don"t match up, I"m not gonna push it."
"See, that"s the problem for me. I look at Lissy and I can see you doing those things to her. I can see it and I hate it. I hate she could give you that, when I don"t know if I can."
"I can"t change what you see, darlin", but I can guarantee you I"m not even f.u.c.king looking at her. I"m looking at you and I"m more than f.u.c.king happy." I can"t stop the eye roll on that one. Please, the man craves something and I have yet to give it to him. In no time, he"ll get bored.
Noticing my eye roll, his arms come around me tighter. "You need me to show you who I think about? Who my c.o.c.k grows hard for every day?"
"You don"t have to." I start to second-guess myself. I shouldn"t have brought it up. It"s ridiculous. It"s my issue. I shouldn"t make it his.
"I think I do, darlin"." His fingers find the hem of my dress and bunch it up to expose my lace panties.
"Beau, I"m going to be late," I complain, but don"t do anything else to stop him.
"You"re also gonna come," he promises, sending a thrill through me.
"Slide your panties down your legs and step out of them," he orders as he rests back further on the bed. I contemplate arguing with him, pushing back and stopping this, but I don"t want to. So I do as I"m told. I slide my lace panties down my legs and step out of them.
"See right there, darlin". You doing what I tell you, when I tell you, how I tell you, that"s more than enough. You hear me?"
"I hear you, Beau," I admit, starting to see his side. I might not be able to give him exactly what he likes, but maybe I"m getting there.
"Good girl. Now come here and sit on my face. If I have to spend the next few hours waiting around for you to come home, I want a taste to help me through." I almost laugh at how desperate he sounds, but I don"t because I need him just as much. So being the good girl he wants me to be, I listen to his command. Climb on up, lower myself down on his face and let him eat me out.
By the time, he"s done, I barely know my own name, let alone Lissy"s.
"Oh, my G.o.d, just spill the news, it"s not like we don"t know what"s really going on! The man has it bad and we want all the deets." Kadence pushes an hour later as we take a seat up in the VIP section of Liquid. We just walked in and everyone is here. Kadence, Kelly, Bell, Holly, Lissy and two of Bell"s friends I haven"t met before, Manda and her twin sister, Kate.
"Yeah, spill. I"ve seen that look before. He wound you up good and now he"s holding you tightly in place, isn"t he?" Holly laughs, getting in on teasing me. Jesus, this woman, I have no idea how she always manages to read me like a book.
"I"m surprised he even let you out of the house," Kelly joins in, letting me know they aren"t going to give up tonight. "We haven"t seen you around the clubhouse in weeks."
"Can we not do this now?" I flick my eyes to Lissy then back to Kelly. It"s not that I want to keep what"s happening between Beau and me secret, I just don"t wish to talk about us with Lissy here.
"Yeah, let"s give her a break." Bell stands up for me. I give her a thankful smile then catch a glimpse of a huge rock on her left ring finger.
"Let"s talk about that ring?" I point to her hand, then watch her smile take over her face.
"Holy s.h.i.t, you"re engaged?" Kadence reaches for Bell"s hand to have a better look.
"Yes!" She practically screams like she"s glad the news is finally out.
"Why didn"t you say anything?" Holly reaches for her hand next.
"Well, I was planning to, but you guys haven"t let up on Mackenzie since she walked in all s.e.xed up." The girls only look partly guilty before barraging her with every question. When? How? What did he say?
"So we took a ride up to Mount Lookout last night." Holly snorts and Kelly laughs. "I know, I know. Make-out Mountain. It"s kind of lame, but that"s where we had our first time." Bell tries to justify it to them. I haven"t been to Make-out Mountain, but I know about it. Growing up in Redwick, we had our own make-out point.
"The first time?" Kelly questions and Bell blushes before nodding. I"m totally not getting the significance of what Mount Lookout means to Jesse and Bell, but I continue to listen regardless.
"He had this whole thing planned and then he messed up. He was a nervous wreck, fumbling his words."
"d.a.m.n, the man has it bad." Kadence"s grin lifts, looking just as excited as Bell.
"It was cute. Then he just said "f.u.c.k it, will you marry me, sweetheart?" Then of course, I said yes."
"I"m actually shocked," Holly tells the group when Bell finishes telling her story.
"Oh, believe me, I wasn"t. Before we moved in together, I didn"t think he would be ready for at least a couple of years, but within a week, it was as if a light had been switched. The man traveled from zero to one hundred." She looks down at her ring.
"I heard him talking about it with Jackson when I first moved into the clubhouse," I reveal.
"And you didn"t tell us? Girl, we need to have a word." Holly shakes her head in disappointment.
"Well, I didn"t want to ruin the surprise for Bell."
"I"m glad you didn"t. I already had my suspicions," Bell a.s.sures me I did the right thing.
"I knew when I saw your smirk you knew something was up."
"We had only talked about it the night before. I knew it was coming. I just didn"t know when."
"Well, who won the bet?" Manda asks, obviously in on the bet.
"Not me, I had them down for next year." Holly shakes her head.
"Me too." Kadence bows out.
"I"ve been out for weeks. I thought they were gonna announce when they moved in together." Lissy lets out a disappointed sigh.
"Don"t worry, I thought for sure it wouldn"t be for two years." Manda laughs, way out on her guess.
"I think you were the closest." Kelly turns to me.
"I said Thanksgiving."
"Yep, you were. So you win."
"I did?" I look to Bell and watch her grin.
"Drinks on you, Kenzie!" She cheers, offering me a high five and as quick as they were drilling me about Beau, our girls" night out turns into an engagement celebration for Bell and Jesse.
I listen to the conversation, but keep my gaze off Lissy, not wanting to draw attention to the discomfort she causes in me. Bell, oblivious to our tension, begins to chat about her and Jesse"s plans for the wedding. I tune out for a while, not that I don"t care for weddings or planning them, but just to take stock of my life the last few months.
As much as I"ve finally found the peace I"ve been searching for since leaving Chad, the guilt is starting to eat me alive. Guilt that my past could come back and hurt these people who have taken me in. On top of the guilt, I miss having Heidi around and having nights like this. I miss the closeness and being able to share everything with her. Sure I have Beau. But there are some things I never want to share with him.
"You okay?" Kadence pulls me out of my head a little while later.
"Yeah, I"m great." I take another sip of my wine.
"You know, if you ever want to talk. I"m here, Kenz." She offers me her hand and I give it a small squeeze.
"Thank you, Kadence, but I"m fine." We don"t do deep again, and the night progresses along with more laughing, drinking, and dancing. After finishing off my third gla.s.s of wine, I stand to use the bathroom.
"I"ll be back, ladies. Just heading to the bathroom." I stand and start to move toward the stairs.
"Wait up, Mackenzie. I"ll come with you," Lissy calls out before I can make it away.
s.h.i.t.
"Sure." I slow my escape and let her catch up. She smiles as we take the stairs, neither of us speaking.
"Mackenzie, have I done something to upset you?" she asks when we hit the lower floor and start to move to the bathroom.
"No, why?" I push open the door to the bathroom door and let her walk in before me.
"I just wanted to clear the air." She stops short of the toilet stall.
"I don"t know why you would need to, Lissy." I decide to play dumb.
"I know you know about me and Beau." I know what she"s trying to do, but I don"t want to discuss this with her. Not here. Not now. Not ever.
"Lissy, I have no problem with you. Don"t make one." I enter my stall and close the door. Maybe that was a b.i.t.c.h move. Maybe I just made it worse, but what does she expect? I would much rather we pretend she hasn"t had s.e.x with my man.
After using the toilet, I step up to the vanity and wash my hands. Lissy is already done and stands awkwardly off to the side.
"I"ll meet you back upstairs." She turns to leave when I keep my eyes in front of me.
"Wait, Lissy," I call back to her before she goes. "I"m not trying to be a b.i.t.c.h. I just really don"t want to discuss you and Beau." I reach for the paper towel and dry my hands.
"I get this is the last thing you want to talk about, I do. I just wanted to clear the air. We have mutual friends. I don"t want to make it any more awkward."
"Well, consider it clear," I offer her what she needs. She nods once then leaves. I give it a few extra minutes before following her out. I don"t make my way straight upstairs, instead opting for the bar instead.
"You okay, Mackenzie?" Jesse asks when I step up to the bar.
"Yeah, just wanted some water." He gives me a wink and asks one of the bartenders to get it for me.
"Congratulations on your engagement. Good job on the rock." I praise his choice and watch him grin.
"She talking about me?"
"Of course." I watch him look up toward the VIP section with a smile on his face.
"Jesse, I need you." One of his staff members calls out taking his attention. I spin around and check out the club. It"s a fancy place, probably the hottest place in Rushford to hang out. When I first heard the club owned it, I didn"t believe it.
"Mackenzie Morre." A deep voice startles me, sending chills down my spine at the tone he used to call my name.
f.u.c.k, who is this?
"Who"s asking?" I question as I twist my body to face them.
"I have a message for you, from Mr. Morre." He steps in closer, invading my s.p.a.ce.
"Step the h.e.l.l back," I grit out, as unease settles around me.
"You"re not going to get away with what you"ve done." My body locks at his words and I swallow past the bile forming at the base of my throat. On the outside I look like I"m holding it together, but on the inside, anxiety rips through me, clouding my conscience worse than it already is.
Oh, G.o.d.
"Have your attention now?" I"m about to respond when Jesse steps up beside me.
"Step the f.u.c.k back from the lady now, before I f.u.c.king make you." Jesse"s warning is enough to have the stranger backtracking without another word. I follow his retreat, watching him fade back into the crowd, disappearing out of my sight.
"You all right, Kenz?"
"Yeah." I keep my gaze out on the crowd as an uneasy feeling washes over me.
Is he watching me?
"Hey, you know that guy?" Jesse taps my shoulder, jolting me back. I turn to face the bar and look up at him.
"Haven"t seen him before. He just wouldn"t take no for an answer." I grab my gla.s.s of water and wash down my lie with a large sip.
"You sure? You look like you just saw a ghost." Jesse"s eyes narrow slightly, silently a.s.sessing me.
"I"m good," I lie again. This time the water doesn"t wash it away so well. I wasn"t good, but I wasn"t about to tell Jesse.
My past flashes before me and I can"t stop it.
I"m not safe here anymore. What I"ve been running from is never going to leave me. I have to get away.
I can"t risk my freedom.