Sooner or later I am going to find out.
Past
Mackenzie
"I"m out Fred!" I shout, reaching for my bag.
"If you wait ten minutes, I"ll take you home," he yells back, but it"s the last thing I want. Not tonight. I just want to go home after my long shift.
"No, it"s fine. I"m beat. I just want the quickest way into a shower so I can crawl into bed."
Fred pokes his head around the corner and lowers his brows. I can see he intends to argue with me.
"Leave her alone, Fred. She"s just down the road," Carly starts on him before he starts on me.
We"ve been having the same argument since I"ve been working. Even with the gun and self-defense cla.s.ses, he"s still overprotective.
"I know she"s just down the road, Carly." He shakes his head at his wife, then levels his eyes back on me. "You still having problems with your new neighbor?" He changes tactics. "I can stop by and have a word with him." Fred has become my self-appointed father, Carly my mother. They have been so good to me the last fifteen months. I hate keeping them at a distance.
"I spoke to him yesterday. He said he"s going to turn the level down a little." I fill him in on my neighbor drama.
"He doesn"t, I"ll pay him a visit." He nods to himself. I don"t argue with him about it. There are some battles you just won"t win with Fred. This will be another one.
"Okay, Fred." I try to keep the frustration out of my voice. "Bye, Carly. See you tomorrow."
"Night," she calls back and I make my way to the front door.
"Girly, wait." Fred stops me before I can step outside. "You call me if you need anything. Any time."
"Will do," I promise, before closing the door.
The walk home is quick. Living only two blocks from where I work has come in handy. Especially since I haven"t saved enough to buy my own car yet, much to Fred and Carly"s displeasure.
The last fifteen months in Ohio have been... I want to say great, but I would be lying. It"s been comfortable.
It"s not that I don"t like it here. I"ve grown close with Carly and Fred, and I enjoy working at their diner. It"s just that I"m not truly happy.
The hiding my past, the not knowing when it will catch up with me, the fear he"s going to find me. It"s like I"m a caged bird desperate to be freed, and if I were honest, I"m over it.
I continue to dwell on my predicament as I take three steps up to my small one-bedroom apartment. I wish I could just push it all out, relax and maybe breathe easy, but I can"t. I can"t allow myself to become complacent. Not when he could find me any day.
"Snap out of it." I give myself a talking to as I reach the top of the stairs. "No more." I shake my head just as I notice the doormat slightly off center.
What the h.e.l.l? My senses flare as I check my surroundings.
I live on the bottom level of a low-rise apartment building. With only one level above me, I hardly ever see my neighbor, but it doesn"t mean I don"t hear him.
Max is a twenty-something-year-old gamer, who only moved in a few months back. Since then, it"s been hard to get a decent night"s sleep with the amount of noise coming out of his apartment.
Tonight it"s quiet, which tells me he"s either not in yet or he took my friendly noise complaint serious. Time will tell.
After doing a quick check of my surroundings I decide it"s my mind playing tricks on me. Kicking it back in place, I unlock the door and step inside. Everything looks normal and in place. The flowers on the table I picked up yesterday fill the room with a sweet floral scent. Relaxing into my nightly routine, I kick off my shoes, and place my bag down on the sofa, heading straight for the fridge to fill a large gla.s.s with my favorite wine.
After nibbling on some cheese, I take my gla.s.s to the bathroom and fill the tub. I strip off my clothes and waste no time sinking into the hot water.
Today"s been a busy day. The hot water eases the tension in my muscles and the wine relaxes my mind. This has become my standard routine every night. Wine. Bath. Bed.
After soaking for thirty minutes, the apartment walls start to shake with vibrations of gunfire and explosions, letting me know Max is in fact home.
Great. He didn"t take me serious.
Knowing I"m not going to be able to relax with the noise, I decide to call it a night. I stand and wrap a towel around my body. Not bothering with drying off completely, I take my gla.s.s and head to my room only to stop dead in my tracks.
"h.e.l.lo, Mackenzie." The wine gla.s.s falls to the carpet as his voice runs through me, and my world comes crashing around me.
"Ch-Chad?" My knees lock as I take in his form lying on my bed. His eyes rake over my body before coming to meet mine. I"ve been waiting for this moment the last eighteen months. Dreamed about how I would react, if I would react. But now that he"s here, it"s like it"s not real.
"Do you know how long I"ve been looking for you?" His jaw ticks and his eyes flash with something I"ve never seen before. It"s almost crazed. Feral.
"How did you find me?" I still haven"t moved. I"m dripping with water, wrapped in a small towel. My heart pounds rapidly in my chest, almost as loud as the noise coming from Max"s apartment.
"f.u.c.k, it wasn"t easy. You, sweetheart, have cost me a f.u.c.king arm and leg trying to find you. I almost had you in Arizona when you called Heidi." My pulse drums in my ears. Heidi.
"What did you do to her?" My mind runs a mile a minute. He wouldn"t dare.
"I didn"t come all this way to talk about that b.i.t.c.h. Can you tell me why you need a gun, Mackenzie?" Chad throws his legs off the side of the bed and stands, pointing a gun at me.
s.h.i.t, he has my gun.
I weigh up my options. I could scream for help, but no one would hear me over Max"s game. I could run, but won"t get very far, or I can fight him.
Before I can unstick my legs, he"s moving toward me. Acting on bad instinct, I react. Spinning in my spot, I hold onto my towel and try to make a run for it.
"I don"t think so, Mackenzie." Chad races behind me, his hand snaking out, fisting my hair and pulling me back. "You and I have things we need to discuss," he seethes, tightening his grip. I fight back, reaching over my shoulders and slapping him. He recoils, letting me go, but before I can pull away he slaps me hard, a stinging sensation covers my cheek. I drop to the floor from the force, my towel falling away from my body, exposing me.
Reaching for the towel, I leave myself open. Not missing his chance, he delivers a kick to my side. Air leaves my lungs in a sharp thud before my long lost friend, pain, comes to visit.
Knowing I can"t cower, I roll to the side, give up the towel and find my balance as I stand up. I need to keep myself up if I"m going to have any chance.
"You"ve ruined my life long enough." He reaches for me again, but I shift out of his way. I just need to get the gun out of his hands.
"Please, Chad," I beg as I back out of my room. I don"t know why I think it will work, but I need to try something.
"None of this had to happen, Mackenzie." He follows me out, not chasing me, but drawing out my panic.
"You"re right. It didn"t then and it doesn"t now. Please put the gun down and we can talk this through," I try to reason. Maybe if he believes I want to work things out, I might have a shot at this.
"You"ve made my life h.e.l.l the last eighteen months. Do you know what people are saying? The rumors that spread because of what you did? I had to file for divorce. Make it out that I divorced you for abandoning me. You f.u.c.king did this." A wave of relief and sadness washes over me knowing we"re no longer married. Can he even do that?
"You know what we had was unhealthy, Chad." I attempt to talk to him, not at him.
"How can you say that? I f.u.c.king love you." He steps forward, gun raised. His eyes are frenzied, his hands shaking. "You f.u.c.king left me." Another step closer.
"Please, Chad." It"s almost surreal. After running for so long, this is what it comes down to.
"You promised me till death do us part. Remember, Mackenzie?" My back finds the wall as the gun finds my chest. "I"ve come to make sure you honor our vows."
Twenty-Five.
Mackenzie "Beau?" I whisper a few hours after I pretended to fall asleep. Beau doesn"t stir so I quickly slip out of his bed and sneak back into my room to grab the small emergency backpack I"ve kept since living here.
I didn"t want to have to do this, but there is no other way. I can"t let this come out. My only option is to get out of town.
The house is quiet as I tiptoe down the hall and make my escape. I don"t spare a second glance at the home Beau offered me. My only desire is to get out. It"s like I"m on autopilot, my mind emotionally bankrupt. There is nothing left to say. With each stride, my resolution grows. It"s as if the distance from the safety of Beau"s arms gives me more clarity. The truth is, since I"ve been back, I"ve invented every excuse for staying, when I should have got the h.e.l.l out of here. I"ve been living a lie, a beautiful lie, with fake hope. I know Beau is going to be p.i.s.sed, but I also know he"s not going to understand. I can"t have people looking for me here. I need to make a clean break and go back on the run.
Making it to the front door, I don"t spare one last look before flicking the lock and slowly opening the door. The glow from the full moon is enough to guide me along the porch and down the stairs.
I"m not sure where I"m going, or how I"m going to get there, all I know is I have to get out of here before anyone finds out.
"Mackenzie?" My name from Beau"s mouth startles me as I take my first step on the gra.s.s. "What the f.u.c.k are you doing?"
"I- I." I take a breath and gather my thoughts. "I have to go."
"The f.u.c.k, Kenzie? You"re not going anywhere." His brows are bent in and his fists clench at his side. I don"t think I"ve ever seen him look so angry. Before tonight, it would have scared me to see it on him, but knowing what might happen if I stay, I can"t let it bother me.
"I need to go, Beau." I shake my head, not sure if I need to clear it, or to stop him from arguing.
"Talk to me, darlin"." He changes tactics, stepping forward, trying to move closer.
"I have to do this, Beau. I have to go," I rush out my words. The early morning air bites at my skin, but my body is hot with fear.
"Why do you need to go, Mackenzie?" He takes another step, and this time I retreat.
"You won"t understand. Just let me go."
"I can"t do that, Mackenzie. I won"t."
"If you care for me, you will." I know I"m reaching, and it"s not going to help me, but I can"t just give up.
"Not f.u.c.king happening. You don"t know me very well if you think that"s gonna work on me."
"I need to do this."
"You don"t know what you need." He keeps coming at me, pushing and drawing me back at every angle.
"Oh, and you do?" I lash out, done with this back and forth.
"Yes, I f.u.c.king do. I"ve been giving you what you need since you"ve been back."
"Right, because I"m this weak woman, right? I couldn"t possibly know how to look after myself."
"Don"t put words in my mouth, Mackenzie." His eyes flick up to the road as a car travels down it.
"No, you didn"t have to, Beau."
"What the f.u.c.k is really going on here?" His arms fold over his chest, forcing the muscles to compress under his shirt. To anyone looking on it might seem concerning, a male exerting his power to intimidate me, but I know that"s not the case.
"I have to leave. It"s not safe for me anymore."
"So you"re running?"
"I"m just protecting you, Beau." He laughs a short, unimpressed laugh, as if the thought is ridiculous. "So you"re gonna walk out in the middle of the night, without a goodbye. That"s what I f.u.c.king deserve?"
"No, you deserve so much more, but I knew you wouldn"t let me go."
"You"re f.u.c.king right I"m not letting you go. I"ve already let you go once. I ain"t doing it again. Not when Chad is still out there."
"You just don"t get it." My hands move to my temples, trying to force the pressure down. The lies and the deceit build ten-fold as the man I love stands in front of me, oblivious to what I have done. Visions of that night start to weigh me down, distorting my present with the horrible past. "Kenzie." I hear his voice trying to break through.
"I killed him, okay. He"s gone. He"s not coming back for me. He never was. I made it up. It was a lie. I even tricked myself into believing he was really still out there when I knew. I f.u.c.king knew he wasn"t." My breathing halts as the horrible moment I took his life takes over and the ugly truth spills from my lips.
"Kenzie, listen to what you"re saying." He takes the last step to me, our eyes connecting as we come chest to chest.
"I did it, Beau. I killed him. It was me or him." My mind starts to slip into the darkness. The truth is just too much for me. I close my eyes and try to breathe through it, but it feels as if a weight has been dropped on my chest, turning my once strong breaths into short, shallow blasts of air.
"Stay with me, Kenz. Just breathe. Deep breaths." I hear the softness of Beau"s voice trying to calm me before I"m thrown back to the night my past and present clashed, changing the course of my life forever.