Infatuation.
A Knights Rebels MC.
River Savage.
Authors Note.
This novel contains adult/mature young adult situations. It is only suitable for ages 18+ due to language, violence, and s.e.xual situations. Infatuation explores the damaging effects of a spouse"s emotional and physical abuse and may cause possible triggers related to domestic violence.
Past.
Mackenzie.
"You"re nothing but a stupid f.u.c.king b.i.t.c.h. Do you know that? You think I don"t know what you"re doing?" The insult rolls off him with ease, twisting my insides into knots with each word.
"I"m sorry." I try to placate him, still unsure what"s happening here. It"s not the first time he"s lost his temper or called me a name; in fact, it"s become a weekly occurrence the last few months, but tonight something"s changed. It"s like he"s come unhinged.
"You"re sorry? You"re always f.u.c.king sorry." Spit hits my face, just above my eye, but I don"t reach up to wipe it. Fear freezes me, anchoring me in my place.
"I didn"t mean it, Chad." The admission falls from my lips, but I still don"t understand why he"s so angry.
"You didn"t mean it?" His bark echoes around the confined s.p.a.ce of the bathroom he"s cornered me in.
"No." I shake my head. My mind races, cataloguing everything that transpired tonight.
We were at a benefit for his dad. Mayor Morre"s annual fundraiser. I was polite, stuck by Chad"s side all night, smiled and only spoke when spoken to. Exactly how he expects me to act. Judging by the state he"s in right now, I know I messed up somewhere during the night. I just don"t know where.
"Do you know how pathetic you looked? Like a f.u.c.king wh.o.r.e." He continues to unleash his verbal abuse. I know they"re only words; I shouldn"t let them affect me, but each one tears away at my confidence. Tears away at the love we"ve shared.
"Do you want to f.u.c.k him?" His voice drips in venom, disgust chasing every word as he takes a step closer.
"Who, Chad?"
"WHO?" he shouts my reply back at me, as his hand comes out hard and fast across my face.
The bitter taste of copper fills my mouth, but I don"t have a second to register the blood pooling before his hand roughly takes my chin and forces me to look up at him.
"You want to f.u.c.k him, don"t you?" The question hangs in the air between us. I should try to put his mind at ease, deny everything and try to calm him down, but the ringing in my ears makes it hard for me to concentrate. He hasn"t hit me before. He"s come close a few times, but I"ve always managed to diffuse the situation.
"ANSWER ME, MACKENZIE!" My face is pushed with brute force, and I stumble back in fright. Tears roll down my cheeks, over my lips, and underneath my chin.
"N-No," I cry out, my hand moving to my face, hoping to soothe the burning flesh.
"DON"T f.u.c.kING LIE TO ME!"
"I"m not," I deny it again, but it"s not what he wants to hear. Before I figure out where I"m failing in easing his mind, his fist connects with my face. This time, the knock takes me back another step. The backs of my legs. .h.i.t the coolness of the bathtub. He follows me back, his rage spilling out of him at a rapid pace and suffocating me. My unease turns to full-fledged fear. The hard reality this isn"t going to end well moves through my body at lightning speed.
"Please, Chad," I cry, but the continuous flow of tears leaking from my eyes does nothing to convince him this isn"t who we are.
Before I can protect myself, Chad"s fist connects again.
Stars explode behind my eyes. The sensation of falling envelops me so swiftly I can"t find my bearings, and then everything goes black.
One.
Mackenzie.
"Excuse me, how much longer?" I swallow the quiver in my voice and pray it"s not much further.
"Five more minutes," comes the reply. My hands shake at my side and my leg bounces to its own erratic beat while I sit in the back of a cab on my way to the only place I have left.
Rushford.
I have no idea what I"m doing, or if they will want to help me, but I have no other options and nowhere else to go.
I check my surroundings again before my eyes move back to the dashboard and the time displayed on the digital clock.
6:01 p.m.
"You sure I don"t know you from somewhere?" The older man driving the cab breaks the short silence and pulls me out of my head. His eyes find mine in the rear-view mirror and his graying brows bunch up, like he"s trying to figure out how exactly he knows me.
Jesus, please don"t let him figure it out.
Not wanting him to recognize me, I avert my gaze out the window.
"No, just making a pit stop in town." The lie falls from my lips with ease and precision. It"s one of my best talents. The cool, calm and collected manner I"ve learned to hone and perfect over the years has always stayed with me.
"And your first stop is the Knights Rebels" clubhouse?" I look back up at the disbelieving tone of my nosey cabbie, but don"t reply.
I know it"s probably the worst idea coming here, considering I"m so close to home, but if I have any hope of surviving this, I need them.
"Are you sure you"re okay, miss? You don"t look so good."
"Yeah, I"m all right. Just have a bad headache." I push all my conviction into my answer. The cab driver"s growing questions are putting me on edge, but I can"t lose it. Not yet. The old man takes the hint and quits with the interrogation. I"m almost relieved, until the scene back in Ohio starts playing out in my mind.
"I don"t think so, Mackenzie." Chad races behind me, his hand snaking out, fisting my hair and pulling me back. "You and I have things we need to discuss," he seethes, tightening his grip. I fight back, reaching over my shoulders and slapping him. He recoils, letting me go, but before I can pull away, he slaps me hard. A stinging sensation covers my cheek. I drop to the floor at his force, my towel falling away from my body, exposing me.
"Miss, did you hear me?" The cab driver"s question rips me from the nightmare and brings me back into the here and now.
"Sorry?"
"We"re here." I look up at the large building and gather my nerves. Briefly, I second-guess my reasons for coming here but then shake those thoughts out of my head.
You need his help, Mackenzie.
"That will be fifty-seven." The cab driver turns in his seat, looking back at me. I reach for my bag and pull out three twenties and two one-dollar bills.
"It"s all I have." I cringe at the tip, but his soft grin tells me he doesn"t mind.
"You okay with your bags?" His head moves toward the clubhouse and my gaze follows.
"Yeah." I nod and reach for my backpack. "Thank you." I force something I hope resembles a smile, but only end up wincing in pain.
"Stay safe, sweetheart." I don"t reply, just close the door and turn to face the large brick clubhouse. The old building stares back at me, calling to me like a long lost friend, so I give myself a moment to take it in. The place is huge, bigger than what I had pictured in my mind. Turning to gaze to the right, I notice a shed nearly the same size as the clubhouse. The roller doors are pulled down, and a low light shines from a small gap where the door and the concrete meet. Multiple motorcycles are lined up in front of it.
Coming from a life like mine, and marrying a man like Chad, the last place you would ever expect to find me is here: standing out the front of Rushford"s very own MC clubhouse needing help. But life has a funny way of putting everything into perspective.
"Can I help you?" A man"s voice startles me and I lose my composure for a second. Doubt coils in my stomach and catches me off guard.
No, this is a bad idea.
My flight reaction sets in, and I twist back toward the cab, but the distant glow of the red tail lights stare back at me.
Too late now, Mackenzie. You"re stuck.
Turning back around I take a deep breath and will myself not to lose it.
"My name"s Mackenzie Morre and I"m here to see Beau." I force confidence into my voice, hoping he doesn"t see how afraid I truly am. The guy is a lot younger than Beau, maybe by twenty years. His dark gray eyes roam over my face, before traveling down my body then back up. I want to say he looks like a nice young guy, but from his annoyed stare, I could be wrong.
"Come with me." He turns and guides me to the front door. Not wanting to be left behind, I pick up my pace. "You hurt bad?" He pushes the door open and shifts to the side, letting me step past him into a dimly lit hall.
"No, I"m okay," I tell him as he guides me down to a large open area. The smell of leather and smoke fill the air, the scent reminding me of Beau.
"He"s out back. Wait here." He holds his hand up for me to stop as he steps forward. Not wanting to disobey any orders, I hold back and take a look around.
The place is enormous with the open living area taking up most of the floor. A fully stocked bar runs along the right side of the clubhouse with a pool table to the left. The wall above the pool table holds pictures of members in their cuts, some mug shots, but more family shots. The Club"s insignia, carved in a large wooden display, sits in the center of the wall, Knights Rebels inscribed above the skull head. A few young men standing around the table look up as the young guy calls out across the room.
"Umm, boss, we have a big f.u.c.king issue."
"What the f.u.c.k now?" The annoyed grumble of the man I"m a.s.suming is the boss has my stomach shifting with unease.
Beau might not be dangerous, but maybe coming here was.
"Spit it out." The deep timbre of Beau"s voice calms me instantly and my feet move forward and step in view.
"Mackenzie?" He stands instantly, and the loud thud of his chair falling back has my eyes dropping to the ground in front of me. I"m not sure if he"s angry, or shocked, and I can"t bear to look and find out.
"Beau, I"m so sorry I came, but I really need your help," I rush out, hoping it"s just shock. Seconds feel like minutes before the same two hands that carried my broken body out of my hometown of Redwick and away from an abusive husband eighteen months ago, come to either side of my face forcing me to look up.
"What the f.u.c.k happened?" His deep blue eyes roam my face, inspecting the damage. I don"t answer right away, my own eyes reacquainting themselves with his. His dark brown hair is still long, and pulled back away from his face. Instead of a low ponytail like I remember he wore it, it"s up in a messy sort of man bun. His beard has grown longer and possibly more gray. Not that he looks old, far from it. He looks good.
Too good.
Dark wash jeans, black Henley pulled tight across his chest, and a Knights Rebels leather cut-just how I remembered. It"s as if eighteen months haven"t pa.s.sed. I"m looking at the man who saved me, the man who gave me a second chance, and hopefully can save me again.
"He found me, Beau."
Two.
Beau.
"You have any jobs this week?" Brooks asks, handing me a beer.
"Haven"t heard anything yet, but we"ll see." I take a pull of my beer and stretch my legs out in front of me. It"s a Friday evening and because I"m on call for Tiny, it"s my first, and only, beer for the night, so I"m going to savor it.
"I"m free to help out if you need a hand," he offers and I know I"ll probably take him up on it. Between the club and Tiny putting more work on me, I need all the help I can get.
"Thanks." I nod then zone back in on the conversation happening among the women at the table.
"So when do you leave?" Holly asks, taking a seat next to me.
"We fly out tomorrow with Ava." Bell looks up, the tears she just managed to control start up again and her old man, Jesse, reaches for her hand.
Bell is the newest woman to walk her a.s.s into the clubhouse and tame one of the Knights Rebels. I say newest, "cause she isn"t the first. Besides Brooks, who"s been tied down with Kelly for longer than I can remember, our club Prez and my best friend, Nix, was taken down first when his kid"s teacher knocked him on his a.s.s and he willingly handed his b.a.l.l.s over. It was f.u.c.king agony to watch. The last thing we needed was a p.u.s.s.y whipped Prez around the clubhouse. I gave him s.h.i.t for a while, but in the end, I knew Kadence was good for him. For all of us.
Next there was Sy. The moody motherf.u.c.ker was the last person I expected to take on an old lady. But the little blonde, Holly, who has a smart mouth on her, was able to f.u.c.k with his head enough to have him giftwrap his b.a.l.l.s and send them to her.
Then there is Jesse, the latest b.a.s.t.a.r.d to be tied down. He might have fought his way against it happening, but he got there in the end. I can"t say he"s as whipped as the other f.u.c.kers, but wouldn"t be surprised if the p.r.i.c.k has his b.a.l.l.s sitting in Bell"s handbag.
"I"m so happy for you, Bell." Kelly reaches out and takes her hand. The news is good. They found Paige, Bell"s sister who has been missing for the last six years.
"Thank you. I still can"t believe it. If it weren"t for all of you, this wouldn"t be happening." Her eyes move around the table looking at all my brothers before landing on Nix.
"You all helped make this happen and I"ll never be able to thank you enough."