f.u.c.k, I could have lost her tonight. I nearly did.
Nausea swarms in my gut, and my heart struggles to keep a steady beat. The fact she was willing to walk out like that taunts me, her words replaying like an echo.
You deserve so much more.
I know she thinks she was doing the right thing, but she has to know by now I will never let her leave.
Ever.
Knowing this is far from over, I force myself to keep my head clear. Tomorrow, s.h.i.t is going down, but tonight, I will hold her and comfort her until her tears dry up and every ounce of guilt she"s been carrying drifts away.
Maybe one day she will see just how much she deserves this and then realize I"m not enough, but until that day comes, I am going to give her what she needs. And right now, she needs grace. Grace for taking a monster"s life.
And I am going to give it to her.
If anyone deserves it, it"s her.
"So you want to go to Ohio, walk into some small town diner looking for a guy named Fred, and ask if he covered up a murder?" Jesse summarizes everything I just told the table, making it sound more f.u.c.king crazy than I am right now. It"s the morning after Mackenzie told me her secret. After tossing and turning all night, I decided I needed to bring the guys in on this to get their perspective. After all, Mayor Morre could know more than I think he knows and then we"d all be in more s.h.i.t.
"Need to know this Fred can be trusted. I don"t want anything coming back on her."
"You don"t want to call Jackson in on this?" he presses.
"Jesse, she f.u.c.king killed him then covered it up. Yeah, let"s bring the f.u.c.king cops in on this, a.s.shole." I shake my head, not in the mood for his s.h.i.t today.
"I"m sorry. I didn"t realize we were back on the other side of the law," he fires back with the same att.i.tude.
"What the f.u.c.k is that supposed to mean?" I turn in my seat and give him my full attention. If he even suggests we call this in again, I"ll f.u.c.king lay him out.
"He means we all like Mackenzie, Beau. But she killed someone. The Mayor"s son at that. Then she came back and lied to us all. You really okay with this?" Sy enters the conversation.
"The f.u.c.ker terrorized her. Beat her to the point she had to run. You think he was looking for her so they could have a f.u.c.king candle-lit dinner? He was going to kill her. Regardless of how you or I see it, she did what she felt she had to do in order to survive. So yes, I"m f.u.c.king okay with her taking the a.s.shole"s life."
"Yeah, and if she stayed, she could have had a better chance of fixing this," Jesse keeps pushing. He just doesn"t comprehend it. How could he? His woman hasn"t been in Mackenzie"s shoes and never will be.
"But she didn"t, okay. You can f.u.c.king judge her all you want, but we"re still going to help her."
"Boss?" Jesse turns to Nix. "You gonna weigh in on this cl.u.s.terf.u.c.k anytime soon?"
"You know what, f.u.c.k you, Jesse." I stand, pushing my chair back, done with his s.h.i.t. I was stupid to think bringing them in on this would be good. Should have just handled it on my own without a single f.u.c.king word to them.
"Beau, wait-" Nix calls out, but I"m not hearing it. I didn"t come to them for a f.u.c.king vote. I came to them for help.
"No, I"m done. This club has done so much s.h.i.t for everyone sitting at this table. I get it. I really f.u.c.king do. We"ve pulled ourselves out of h.e.l.l. We don"t need this kind of heat. But we are not calling the cops. I"d take the fall before I see her do time for this."
"You"re f.u.c.king crazy," Jesse scoffs.
"No, he"s in love," Hunter counters and my eyes fall on him.
f.u.c.k me, the little f.u.c.ker gets it.
"She was ready to run to keep us safe. I"m not okay with that. She f.u.c.king leaves, I go with her." The table falls silent at my admission and I take the moment to calm my breathing. "You"d do the same for Holly." I turn to Sy, already knowing his answer.
"f.u.c.king A," is his reply.
"Kadence?" I twist back to Nix.
"Don"t even have to ask."
I look to Brooks and point him an expectant stare. He nods, giving me his answer. I skip over Hunter, knowing he doesn"t have a woman and look back to Jesse.
"I"d do the same for Bell, but she"s my woman." He c.o.c.ks his brow, just pushing me the only way he can.
"Mackenzie is my f.u.c.king woman, c.o.c.khead!" I all but scream at him.
"So you love her?" Jesse smirks. If I could reach him without moving, I"d punch him.
"Keep up, a.s.shole." I shake my head at his deep laugh. "Nix, I"m not asking for your permission here, not when it comes to her." He gets me. I know he does. But he still takes a minute before speaking.
"Take Hunter with you. We"ll keep an eye on her." He gives me his approval, but in all honesty, this would have happened with or without it.
I turn my attention to Hunter, nodding for him to get up.
"I"m leaving in ten. Grab what you need now." He doesn"t need to be told twice. He moves out of the room without a word.
"Anything else?" I look back at Nix.
"Don"t f.u.c.k this up," is all he says before coming to stand. The rest of them follow him up and come toward me. Sy smirks at me and slaps my back as he pa.s.ses.
"Welcome to the other side." And maybe it"s the adrenaline running through me, but I miss the punch line.
"What side?" I call after him.
"Where you do stupid s.h.i.t for p.u.s.s.y," Nix answers, pa.s.sing me next.
"f.u.c.k, been there since she walked into my life," I admit, then listen to them all laugh.
"Not like I haven"t been telling you this since the night we picked her up," Sy shouts back.
"Yeah, I"m finally listening," I tell him as Jesse pa.s.ses. Remembering how much he p.i.s.sed me off, I land my fist into his arm. "That"s for being a f.u.c.khead."
"Love you too, bro." He barely flinches, continuing his exit.
I contemplate going in for a second punch but let it go. I told Hunter ten minutes. The sooner we have this done, the sooner it"s over, and we"re back in Rushford.
Twenty-Seven.
Mackenzie Five days later "You doing okay, Kell?" I ask, watching her sort through piles of paperwork. It"s almost opening week for Missy"s Place and with Beau away dealing with the mess I left back in Ohio, Kelly is here trying to get it all sorted.
"Yeah, just hoping I can pull this off. With Beau away, it"s double the stress."
"I"m sorry." I cringe, hating that my drama is only messing this up for both Kelly and Beau.
"Don"t be silly. He needed to go. I"m just being dramatic." She tries to soothe me, but it doesn"t help. When Beau told me he was heading to meet Fred, I begged him to take me with him. He didn"t think it was a good idea, and even though I understand why, it doesn"t make it easy knowing he"s there and I"m here.
"Well, if it"s any consolation, I"m here for you." It"s the least I can do.
"And I"m going to use you. We have to have all this unpacked today." I follow her gaze around the room and prepare myself for some hard work.
"Okay, well, where do you want me to start?" I stand from the chair and move toward the huge living area.
"Let"s just work through each room, starting in the living room. We can stop for lunch around twelve and hopefully finish up this afternoon."
"Got it," I tell her, but before I can start, my phone beeps from my back pocket. Pulling it out, I let out a breath when I see it"s from Beau.
Beau: Two hours out, darlin". See you soon.
I quickly type back, my mind running wild with what he found out.
Me: Is everything okay?
Beau: Everything"s good. Will talk more when I"m home.
I smile at the text and let out a long breath. I"m a.s.suming "everything"s good" means he met with Fred and we have nothing to worry about.
"Beau?" Kelly notices my reaction.
"Yeah, he"s two hours out." I pocket my phone, my day now perking up.
"Did he say if he found Chad?" I swallow at the mention of his name.
Kelly and the girls don"t know about Chad or what I did, and I want to keep it that way.
Having Nix and the rest of the guys know is bad enough. To say they were p.i.s.sed would be an understatement.
After Beau left with Hunter to see Fred, Nix sat me down and expressed how unimpressed the club was that I had lied to them all. I knew it was coming. Beau was too kind to me to really tell me how angry he was, but Nix didn"t offer me the same grace. And rightly so. I lied to them, to everyone, and it wasn"t my intention to fall in love with Beau. It happened. But I should have told them sooner. After, he ripped me a new one, made it clear we are family, and that family look after each other. He followed it up with a hug and a warning not to f.u.c.k with Beau"s heart. I didn"t need the warning, but I took it. It was the least I could do.
"I"m not sure." I divert my gaze so she doesn"t pick up on my unease.
"I"m sure he has. He wouldn"t be heading home without a resolution for you." Kelly pulls me out of my head.
"Yeah." I nod because she"s right. It"s just the way Beau is, always taking care of me.
After chatting for a few more minutes, we start work pulling open all the boxes and setting up. We don"t talk about anything deep, keeping the conversation light and easy. I"m grateful for it. My mind is still messed up with what Beau has to say. The day pa.s.ses us quickly and before we know it, we"ve missed lunch.
"Oh, G.o.d, it"s after one." Kelly looks up when we finish unpacking the third room.
"You want me to go pick something up from the diner?" I ask, taking in all the work we"ve managed so far. The living area, kitchen and dining room are all set up. Warm tones, dark wood, and brown leather furniture makes the house more homier, welcoming even. I can already see women here, getting the help they need after leaving dangerous situations.
"I should probably go. You stay here." Since Beau has been away, I"ve been staying at the clubhouse and have had an escort to and from wherever I go. Now Beau is on his way back with what I can only a.s.sume is good news, I barely think there"s anything to worry about.
"I"ll be fine, Kell. It"s less than a block away. I have my phone." I scoop up my bag, starving for food. "What do you want?" I pull out my phone and open up the memo app.
"I"ll have the California grilled chicken and a diet Pepsi, please." She starts picking up the empty boxes.
"Okay, I"ll be back." I flick the lock on the front door and push it open. "Lock the door behind me."
"Got it," she calls back and I wait for her to click the lock.
The cool November air nips at my skin. I wrap my cardigan around my body tighter and pick up my steps to get to Happy Chef quicker.
The lunch crowd is in full swing when I enter. I quickly place my order and take a seat at the counter. Looking around the diner, I"m thrown off kilter when I spy Mayor Morre sitting in the back booth, his graying blond hair is slicked back, almost identical to Chad"s. He"s wearing a dark blue suit, white shirt, and a gray tie. Playing the perfect part. On the outside, he looks put together, but the strong tick in his jaw tells me otherwise.
He looks in my direction, his cold eyes locking with mine before giving me a quick wave, signaling for me to join him. Knowing if I don"t go to him, he will come to me, I contemplate leaving for five seconds before forcing my legs over toward him.
Beau would have told me if he knew something. He"s only trying to mess with me, I remind myself when I step up to his table.
"Mackenzie, lovely to see you. Please take a seat." I slide into the booth and decide to beat him at his own game.
"Cut the c.r.a.p, Morre. What do you want?" I sound braver than I really am, but I run with it.
"I think you know what I want." He tilts his head, quietly examining me, but I don"t let him throw me off.
"I don"t know where Chad is," I lie, knowing there is no way I"ll ever tell him the truth. Not when he has no proof.
"You think I"m stupid?" His voice drips in controlled anger. "Chad knew where you were. He left to go find you. Couldn"t get over his f.u.c.king obsession." He looks down at me in disgust, and I almost feel it wash over me. "So color me surprised when you end up back here. Alone."
"Well, he didn"t find me, clearly." Instinctively I edge my voice with strength, and straighten my shoulders. "Maybe he found something else to finally fixate on. The last I heard, he went off the rails when I left. Who knows where he ended up. Now, unless there is anything else-" I start to move out of the booth, but his hand comes down on mine, stopping my retreat. I react, trying to pull back, but his grip tightens. His short stumpy fingers trap me in their grasp.
"You have no idea who you"re dealing with." The vein in his temple throbs as he leans forward and clasps his hold tighter around my wrist. "I know you know something. I might not want this public, but I will make your life h.e.l.l until you tell me where my son is."
"Is that a threat, Mayor?" I raise my voice a little, hoping to throw him off.