Using my free hand, I place my finger under her chin and tilt her head back. Her tongue runs along her bottom lip and it all but invites me to join it.
"Darlin"," I warn. I"m not sure if it"s a warning to her, or to me. I can see how much she wants this. Can see the fire in her eyes matches my own need. I know one taste of her won"t be enough, but it"s like my body isn"t listening to my brain.
"Please, just kiss me, Beau," she pleads, shutting down my reservations. It"s all the encouragement I need. She parts her lips as I lean in closer, and when my tongue seeks its entry, I own her mouth.
I don"t move slowly. My tongue fights with hers, desperate for a connection. Her taste is f.u.c.king addictive-vanilla, strawberry and I don"t f.u.c.king know what-but I can"t get enough. Moving her tongue with mine, my hand on her back pulls her closer. I"m hanging on by a thread here, but does it stop me? f.u.c.k no.
The kiss grows wild, her soft moans stirring my d.i.c.k to life. The poor b.a.s.t.a.r.d has only been seeing my palm since the night she moved in. If I"m not careful, he might blow just from hearing her needy groans.
Taking two steps forward, I reach down and twist the handle. Using my boot, I kick the door open and drag us over to my bed.
She comes willingly, her mouth and hands just as desperate as mine, but as soon as I push her back to my bed, she freezes.
"Oh, G.o.d," she blurts, coming up from my bed and finding her feet.
s.h.i.t.
"I"m so sorry." She starts to walk past me to leave, but my hand reaches out, stopping her escape.
"Mackenzie." My voice is a lot calmer than the frustration building in me, but she still flinches under it.
"That was a mistake. I didn"t mean for it to happen." She pulls out of my hold, and as soon as she was there, she"s gone, blowing all chances of taking this any further out the window.
f.u.c.king awesome.
Nine.
Mackenzie "That was a mistake." I turn to rush out of his room as fast as I can, hoping he doesn"t come after me.
"Mackenzie, stop." His tone has me halting before I reach the door, but I don"t turn to face him right away.
How could I be so stupid?
s.h.i.t.
Deciding it"s better to hash this out now, I spin and face him. "I"m sorry, Beau, I shouldn"t have. I don"t know what I was thinking." He looks taken aback for a second before his dark mask sets in place.
"You didn"t do anything, darlin". I shouldn"t have touched you." His voice loses the spark that stirs something in me whenever he talks. "This isn"t what you need right now."
He"s trying to make me feel better, but it"s not working. I"m an idiot for coming on to him then pulling away.
What the h.e.l.l was I thinking?
"I should go to bed." I ignore my body telling me how much I"d like to go to bed with him and step out of his room.
"Good night, Mackenzie." He uses my full name and for once, I hate it. Only Beau calls me Kenzie and hearing him call me anything else just feels wrong.
Seriously so messed up.
""Night, Beau. See you in the morning." I lamely wave then spin, walking as fast as I can to my room.
Forgoing a shower, I change into my pajamas, climb into bed then play over every single detail that happened tonight.
Seriously, it"s too much to process.
Between Beau offering me a room at his place, and me practically begging him to kiss me, the night has been a hot mess.
I didn"t expect when I sat down to talk with Beau about moving he would freak out like he did. I knew he would be apprehensive, maybe put up a little fight, but to flat out deliver an ultimatum? No. That was unexpected.
I didn"t know what to say. Short of telling him the truth, I had to agree. What else could I do? The last thing I want to do is upset this awkward situation, especially with things growing between us.
Ever since I came to Rushford things between Beau and I have been tense. Small sparks between us have been building, pulling us closer every chance we"re alone. Initially, I thought it was one-sided. My need to forget about Chad and everything in my past pushed me forward, but after a couple of weeks, I started noticing it wasn"t just me feeling this draw. Every small touch, every slight look, it"s like an unspoken conversation between us.
And now I just ruined everything.
Deciding I can"t even go over the kiss, or the way being in Beau"s arms felt, I reach over and flick the lamp off.
I don"t need to have the scene playing over and over in my head. Maybe tomorrow everything will be clearer.
Maybe tomorrow I"ll wake up and realize it was all a dream.
The tingling in my lips tells me otherwise.
Stupid girl, Mackenzie.
I wake the next morning still feeling like a complete fool, a fool for probably making this situation ten times worse. Determined not to deal with any of it right this second, I kick off my blanket and roll out of bed. My alarm clock tells me it"s barely after six. Knowing I won"t be able to go back to sleep, I change into my favorite dress and fix my hair. It"s not like I have plans to go out today, but since I"m up, I should get a start on breakfast before Beau wakes up. Even if eggs aren"t my strong suit, I still try to make them when Beau isn"t in the kitchen looking over my shoulder. Somehow over the last few weeks, we"ve fallen into some kind of routine. I cook dinner and he fights me on breakfast.
Stealing a quick look out my door, I spy Beau"s door still closed. It doesn"t mean he"s not up, but hopefully I beat him to it. With no other option but to risk it, I exit my room and walk down the hall and out to the main area. The clubhouse is silent this morning, and I take a second to look around. I"ve come to like living here. Yeah, the parties and the women can get a little out of hand, but the club family has accepted me as one of their own.
This is one of the reasons you need to leave, Mackenzie.
Pushing all the reasons of why I should leave aside, I head for the kitchen but come to a stop when I turn the corner and see Beau standing there, his back to me, cooking over the stove.
d.a.m.n it. He beat me.
Not sure if I should make my presence known or race back to my room, I take the time to have my fill of him.
His bare feet grab my attention first. There"s something seriously s.e.xy about a man barefoot in a kitchen. Taking one last look at them, I slowly move my gaze up his body. His shorts hang low, showing the dip on his tanned, inked back.
Of all things holy, my stomach dips at the sight.
His hair is free from his band in a wild and s.e.xy mess and I kick myself knowing not eight hours ago this man was making love to my face and I freaked out.
Kill me now.
Shaking my head free from our kiss, my eyes move over the rippling muscles of his smooth back and zero in on his ink. Most of his back is covered, the largest, a Knights Rebels insignia sits in the middle of his back. I can"t make out the rest from this distance, but nonetheless, I still crave to explore them.
Keep your cool, Kenz.
Forcing the kiss from my mind, I decide to get this over with.
"Morning." I step into the kitchen like I just turned the corner and didn"t spend two minutes checking him out.
Beau turns at my voice and gives me one of his rare smiles.
"Sit, breakfast is ready." I follow his order and take a seat without even thinking. I don"t know why when he speaks to me like this I don"t react. His bossy tone no longer rubs me the wrong way. I"ve become used to it.
"I thought it was my turn to fix breakfast." I eye my plate then try to contain my excitement when he places my favorite in front of me. French toast. Even better. Beau"s French toast.
"Are you keeping tabs, Kenzie?" I hold back my smile hearing he"s gone back to using the shorter version of my name and nod.
Okay, maybe we can just act like nothing happened last night.
"I had all these plans to show you up with my mad omelet skills."
He throws his head back at my admission. A deep rumble spills from somewhere low and I"m thrown by the easiness of it so I just sit and stare.
Holy s.h.i.t, I could just listen to him laugh all day.
"I"ll wait patiently for that day, darlin"." Beau pulls me out of my trance and takes a seat next to me.
"Whatever. One day, I will perfect it." I huff before taking a bite of my breakfast. Seriously, so freaking good.
"So I thought we could head over to my place today." I stop eating and look up at Beau"s suggestion.
Okay, this is not what I was expecting.
"Are you sure it"s wise, Beau?" I place my fork down on my plate and reach for my coffee.
"Told you last night, you"re either here or my place."
"Yeah, but after what happened last night?" The last thing I want to do is relive what happened, but it"s better to get it over with now than later.
"Last night was my f.u.c.k up. It didn"t mean anything. I don"t think of you that way, Kenzie." He places his fork beside him and gives me his full attention. I ignore the pang of rejection hearing him say he doesn"t think of me in that way and nod instead.
"Yeah, of course. I"m not interested in anything more, either. It was just one of those moments. When two people spend a lot of time together, it"s bound to happen. Now it"s done, we can move on," I agree as heat spreads over my face and neck.
How embarra.s.sing.
"So we"re good then." I force what I hope is a smile and dig back into my breakfast.
"Yep," is all he says, before picking up his own fork and pushing a mouthful of food into his mouth. We don"t talk again after that, both of us avoiding each other"s gaze. I know we just said what happened last night was a mistake, but it doesn"t change the fact we"re both going to be different now. There"s nothing we could do to control it.
"I"ll clean up," Beau says when I stand and take my plate to the sink.
Not wanting to argue with him today, I nod and hang back, enjoying a second coffee and letting him take control of the situation.
Ugggh, he is a pain in my a.s.s.
After ten minutes of me watching him tidy up, we finally make our way out to the front.
"Only have my bike. You okay with that?" he asks, locking up the clubhouse.
"Sure." I nod and push down my unease of having to be close to him so soon after our slip. He motions to a bike to our left, and we walk over. I don"t tell him I haven"t been on a bike before. I just lift my leg and mount his ride like I"ve done it hundreds of times.
He watches me carefully, eyebrow c.o.c.ked, hands on hips, but doesn"t comment. Instead, the corner of his mouth lifts up in a knowing smile.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
"Will you be joining me?" I ask when he continues to just stare.
He doesn"t reply with words but climbs on in front of me. Not wanting to be too close, I squeeze my thighs tight against his side. Careful not to put my hands on him.
"Don"t be stubborn, darlin". You"re not going to last this fifteen-minute ride without holding on to me." He leans back and picks up my hand. I roll my eyes "cause he"s right. I am stubborn. Getting over myself, I slide forward and place my hands around him.
"See, wasn"t so hard, was it?" His question is light, playful and I want to reply with some smart remark like I normally would, but today I can"t come up with anything. So, rather than dwell on it, I hold on tighter, ready and willing to go wherever he takes me.
Past
Mackenzie